Newbies Nest

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1463151 wrote: JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.


This one if VERY POWERFUL for me.....:thanks:

JENNIECH, This one keeps ringing in my head as I go around thinking. I have to train my brain to other thoughts. This morning I realized I had a thought that had no AL motivation in it.....YIPPIE.
-S--

[JeffyJeff]

Newbies Nest

day 9

oh boy here we go............

Wierd, a couple of thoughts everyday during the dinner time but I just "surf" through them. So happy today I didn't take a drink. I just talk myself through it questioning my plan to have a drink. I ask myself what will I achieve by doing that? I be honest with my self...........it won't just be one...........it will end up much more..........for what? What do I hope to achieve? the buzz? nahhh I don't get buzzed anymore.....chasing a dream at the bottom of the bottle only to feel like sh*t and hate myself. Thus I stay away.

It makes it tougher that my home life sucks, me and the wifey and on the way out. (18 years 4 kids) The bond just isn't there anymore. We are mean to each other. Sure my drinking is part of it but it's not all of it. Being sober for a bit makes the situation a hell of a lot clearer.

Tough weekend coming up. Hockey tournament away with my boy this weekend in a hotel. There will be plenty of Dad's hitting it hard. I don't hang with any of them but will be asked to do so. I found myself yesterday saying, it'll be ok just to drink this weekend. Boredom will set in waiting for games. But I am on such a roll and feel so much better. I hope I stay strong, I must develop a plan. I am not a social drinker. Usually I would be bottled up in the room between games drinking down some vodka's. Only to go to the games with gum trying to hide my intake of shame. Who needs that?

Good luck everyone, sorry for the rant, stay strong:nutso:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!! That list I swiped from the Tool Box hit me, too....I tried to find the author but got distracted by work (of all things). I wish we could tidy the tool box up a little, it is a bit cumbersome, but wow, every thing you want to know about getting sober is THERE! It's an amazing tool.

Remember....Hope is not a strategy! I would face weekend activities saying..I hope I'm strong enough to resist _____. Or, I hope someone doesn't offer me _____, I don't think I can say no. This is what can separate you from the 'also rans'. Get your thoughts (plan) together as to WHY you are NOT going to drink under any circumstances. I hear nesters all the time say..."I was caught off guard!" Well, be ON guard, there are people out there who are going to make you think drinking is the RIGHT thing to do right now! You must put out that word NO! No thanks, I'll pass. Inside, you are saying NO, HELL NO, AL is not going to take one more day of my life! One drink IS going to hurt you...for us, one drink is too many, and the next one is never enough. Get your reason for staying AF down in your head and USE IT. Trust me on this one, just because everybody else is doing it doesn't make it right for YOU! Don't give in this time! It's not as hard as you think!! The barrier is in your head!

We didn't have any Valentine casualties did we? Did everyone make it out ok??? Hugs to all!! Byrdie

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters, hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!
I haven't been posting much but I have been keeping up with all of your posts.
It's been very busy in the nest, lots and lots of great advice from, as Kuya put it
"Angels from God" Thanks for all the encouragement.

Welcome all who are new to the nest, again it's a wonderful place, full of comfort.

Jenni and Last: I love this I'm gonna start using this "I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it."

JeffyJeff: sounds like you and I have much in common with coaching baseball and kids in sports. We basically picked our tournament baseball team by whose kid's dads drank. My wife won't go to any more tournaments because of all the drinking before, during and after the games. How sad is that! I found that the gum just made it worse and was a signal to get close and sniff, thank God all that is in the past!

Mein: congrats almost to your goal, you can do this, hang tough tomorrow Is tomorrow, worry about today. Post a pic of the snow (I'm gonna bug you till I get to see Germany . )
It'll get your mind flowing in the right direction!

Halo : I am so relating to all the stories, I am positive that's why I feel so great and comfortable in here. We are in this together and it's a road that others have travelled on in a very similar way. It's a powerful connection that few understand unless you've went down it!

Take care everyone, it's getting better, i can feel it!
P. S. our school ball team won big last night 11-2.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hello fellow Nesters......just wanted to share my experience last night. Hubby and I attended a VIP event (who plans these things for Valentines Day?.....he only had one ticket, and other years has gone alone.....but we decided to risk it and sneak me in.....it worked, even with ticket scanning....LOL....so NOT me, but he assured me if we both couldn't get in, we would leave). It was black tie, so lots of free booze and fabulous free food.......and I was very happy to have just ordered tonic and lime. I did it repeatedly, and enjoyed walking around, not being extra conscious that I walk straight, etc......and there was a lot of walking! I met a few of his clients and I know that hubby was pleased I wasn't downing the wines like I normally would have been.
And I didn't come home and "reward" myself with wine or scotch when I got home.....lots of times I would have sat up later when we got home and had a few nightcaps.......makes me really sick now to think of past behaviour.
I had planned to have a glass of wine with hubby on Valentines Day, but I thought it would be over a dinner with just the two of us....not a crowd.....happy to say, I didn't feel the "desire" to have one.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

I will just wish everyone a great AF day. I'd like to address everyone personally, but it will take so much time to go back and craft individual replies and I just need to get a post out as quickly as I can, so I'll just reply in general terms. Thank you to all who posted Valentine wishes, the 'junkie thinking' post, which was awesome, and all the feedback from people who are finding the support they need from mwo. This is an awesome place! I find that I reallly depend on the people here to remind me how it really was, whenever I'm tempted. That 'junkie thinking' post is a great reminder. More than one person has mentioned their lack of energy......I also found that I was extremely tired for a couple of weeks after this last quit.

Broke down and had a cigarette last night. Was just very worn out and in a very stressful situation...... I don't want to go on about it, but it involved moving my son to another place last night. I am seeing very distressing (pre-psychotic) symptoms, extreme anger and the danger of him making impulsive and self destructive decisions while in this unstable 'state'. It's exhausting emotionally and also physically with the actual moving. Can NOT get him to take the niacin, which keeps him stable. Glad I only caved with a cigarette, and glad that when I 'slip' with a cigarette it doesn't involve a hangover and a week-long binge.

I have another high-stress situation I need to deal with today....don't want to go on about it, but it has to be 'walked through'.......I don't see my situation as any worse than many other people who are dealing with their own chronic family issues: elderly parents with health problems, etc. We all have to deal with life. It's just that the unsolvable problems, the ones that don't have a simple solution, are very discouraging and tend to wear one down. I'm not expecting any answers or solutions, I already know there really aren't any that are in my power, I just need to vent. It helps me to endure and keep going. Thanks for listening.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

s1179, it is with great pride, that we here in the nest bestow our most coveted award for 7 days of kicking AL's @$$! Please accept this Full MOON!! :moon: You have faced with courage every single day that a week can throw at you and emerged a winner! Well done! We are so happy for you!! Byrdie (for Star)

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

s1179 Rockin' it on Day - 7. Whoop--whoop!

Today I was driving into work and felt so damn good compared to my past hazy commutes I just had to let out a little victory holler. F'yeah people. Good shit.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Cross posted......

Byrdie, thanks so much for your inspiring words. I really needed them today. You always have just the right words. Thanks so much for being one of our 'den mothers'!

New Day, you did a great job! You came through with flying colors and should be soooo proud of yourself. That was a really tough situation and you got through it all! I'm sure you will be an inspiration and an example to others that it CAN be done.

Congrats S1179, way to go! And so good to hear you are feeling so good today, Fin! Well, over to amend my signature line. Get rid of the NF line for now.......

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

Where do we run to?

JeffyJeff;1463256 wrote: oh boy here we go............

Wierd, a couple of thoughts everyday during the dinner time but I just "surf" through them. So happy today I didn't take a drink. I just talk myself through it questioning my plan to have a drink. I ask myself what will I achieve by doing that? I be honest with my self...........it won't just be one...........it will end up much more..........for what? What do I hope to achieve? the buzz? nahhh I don't get buzzed anymore.....chasing a dream at the bottom of the bottle only to feel like sh*t and hate myself. Thus I stay away.

It makes it tougher that my home life sucks, me and the wifey and on the way out. (18 years 4 kids) The bond just isn't there anymore. We are mean to each other. Sure my drinking is part of it but it's not all of it. Being sober for a bit makes the situation a hell of a lot clearer.

Tough weekend coming up. Hockey tournament away with my boy this weekend in a hotel. There will be plenty of Dad's hitting it hard. I don't hang with any of them but will be asked to do so. I found myself yesterday saying, it'll be ok just to drink this weekend. Boredom will set in waiting for games. But I am on such a roll and feel so much better. I hope I stay strong, I must develop a plan. I am not a social drinker. Usually I would be bottled up in the room between games drinking down some vodka's. Only to go to the games with gum trying to hide my intake of shame. Who needs that?

Good luck everyone, sorry for the rant, stay strong:nutso:

Stay strong Jeff! Hang with your kids not the papas for now.. when your stronger, I think u could maybe sit with them and just laugh at the stupid jokes and not drink. The weird thing is with me.. When I'm in total detox and feel like sh*t! (That's when i don't want to drink) in fact it disgust me! But after a month or so.. eating right and working out etc.. I start to hear the call.. Yeah, lets go party! So you see Im most weak when I'm strong, which is ironic indeed! I will need the most support in about 30 days, when I feel like I can run like a deer but don't know where to run to!

[s1179]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrdlady and fin..I did a week
Next goal day 14........

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1463266 wrote: Morning, Nesters!! That list I swiped from the Tool Box hit me, too....I tried to find the author but got distracted by work (of all things). I wish we could tidy the tool box up a little, it is a bit cumbersome, but wow, every thing you want to know about getting sober is THERE! It's an amazing tool.

Remember....Hope is not a strategy! I would face weekend activities saying..I hope I'm strong enough to resist _____. Or, I hope someone doesn't offer me _____, I don't think I can say no. This is what can separate you from the 'also rans'. Get your thoughts (plan) together as to WHY you are NOT going to drink under any circumstances. I hear nesters all the time say..."I was caught off guard!" Well, be ON guard, there are people out there who are going to make you think drinking is the RIGHT thing to do right now! You must put out that word NO! No thanks, I'll pass. Inside, you are saying NO, HELL NO, AL is not going to take one more day of my life! One drink IS going to hurt you...for us, one drink is too many, and the next one is never enough. Get your reason for staying AF down in your head and USE IT. Trust me on this one, just because everybody else is doing it doesn't make it right for YOU! Don't give in this time! It's not as hard as you think!! The barrier is in your head!

We didn't have any Valentine casualties did we? Did everyone make it out ok??? Hugs to all!! Byrdie

Byrdie - Your post is an excellent reminder to me to always have my plan available (in my head). Don't leave home without it!! Don't STAY home without it either, for that matter...

I don't know if we had any Valentine casualties. I pray not!! From the long list in Roll Call, it seems as if most of us fledglings survived the night. :chick:

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

JeffyJeff;1463256 wrote: oh boy here we go............

Wierd, a couple of thoughts everyday during the dinner time but I just "surf" through them. So happy today I didn't take a drink. I just talk myself through it questioning my plan to have a drink. I ask myself what will I achieve by doing that? I be honest with my self...........it won't just be one...........it will end up much more..........for what? What do I hope to achieve? the buzz? nahhh I don't get buzzed anymore.....chasing a dream at the bottom of the bottle only to feel like sh*t and hate myself. Thus I stay away.

It makes it tougher that my home life sucks, me and the wifey and on the way out. (18 years 4 kids) The bond just isn't there anymore. We are mean to each other. Sure my drinking is part of it but it's not all of it. Being sober for a bit makes the situation a hell of a lot clearer.

Tough weekend coming up. Hockey tournament away with my boy this weekend in a hotel. There will be plenty of Dad's hitting it hard. I don't hang with any of them but will be asked to do so. I found myself yesterday saying, it'll be ok just to drink this weekend. Boredom will set in waiting for games. But I am on such a roll and feel so much better. I hope I stay strong, I must develop a plan. I am not a social drinker. Usually I would be bottled up in the room between games drinking down some vodka's. Only to go to the games with gum trying to hide my intake of shame. Who needs that?

Good luck everyone, sorry for the rant, stay strong:nutso:

Hang tough, Jeff. There is such strength behind you to make it through this weekend. My key in such situations is to plan some distractions like going out to check out some place of interest in the area, or bringing a little project along -- like doing a full setup on my mandolin, new strings, set the bridge, etc, etc. I donno what you're into, but maybe try to think more creatively in terms of what you'll do with that down time. If nothing else, stay close to the Nest if possible because just sitting in a hotel room is really dangerous...think of the movie many of us saw recently, Flight. The hotel room scene will rattle even the most hardened boozer. Here's to seeing you victorious on Monday -- hoo-ha!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

s1179;1463312 wrote: Thanks Byrdlady and fin..I did a week
Next goal day 14........

I know. Outstanding. Keep it rolling no matter what because starting over ain't much fun and you know that's exactly what you'll do if you cave - start over. So, might was well just stay committed vs. playing that silly game.

[s1179]

Newbies Nest

Thanx Fin....will keep ya posted...feeling good at the mo