Newbies Nest

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

NOW not YESTERDAY..

lolab;1463548 wrote: Dimension, that is an awesome post. It's so true that often the most insightful words come from within the trenches.... After being AF for a time, we can make ourselves remember how it was, (and I do on a REGULAR basis ) but sometimes for something to hit home, it has to come from someone who is really there, too. The newbies nest is awesome and I love the role I play in it occasionally, but the true magic of it is from the camaraderie of those who are experiencing it firsthand. So please keep sharing your experiences in detail....and believe that it might be helping someone out in internet space....while in reality, it's probably helping YOU the most.

The problem with me is.. when I'm strong and running fast again, I start to forget the bad and slowly the good replaces it.. Distorted memories of euphoria! Remembering that time, in that place with that person and forgetting the huge loss of money and time and energy and wasted days of life in sickening detox! I need to keep reminding myself it's a (false reality) That my mind and body are strong now, so they are happy and thinking of only the good things! My cells are singing! My cells are having a party maybe I better join them!? They are having a party because your healthy! They are having a party because of NOW not YESTERDAY! And I just need to keep telling myself that! And yes, this camaraderie I see will very much help remind me and help me even more than I could possibly help them.. I'm not going to go to a fry cook to learn how to drive a race car! When you have seen and done so much in so many places, you don't want to be analyzed by a book schooled therapist or a virgin priest.. Now give me a veteran of a thousand psychic wars and I will sit with them all night in any old coffee shop and chat!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

DD, it's called Euphoric Recall...there's a great post around here somewhere about it...until I can lay my hands on it...
We just are remembering the laughter and great times we had while sitting around sipping a few drinks with our friends. Maybe a sunset, or a really cold ____ after a job well done. What we don't remember is the hell it put us thru in our relationships, jobs and self. It destroyed our hopes, self esteem, our drive. When I think how nice it'd be to have a glass of wine...I quickly jerk myself back into reality....that's not how I drank...I drank in desperate gulps from a hidden bottle in my closet. I drank like an addict...not like I am remembering so fondly. I haven't been THAT kind of joyful drinker in decades, and I am only fooling myself to remember it that way....it's a bitch, but it is what it is...and ONE glass ain't gonna do me any good.
You are doing great, and you will continue to! You have a secret weapon now....US! Byrdie

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Has anyone seen Enlightened, a new HBO show with Laura Dern?

In an episode her ex-husband goes away to rehab, he isn't buying into the program and sneaks out with two other patients ( a guy and a girl) to party it up. You see them at a bar dancing , drinking, going into the bathroom to use drugs, the music is blaring and they are euphoric. I can relate to that part.

As the night goes on, the girl starts arguing with everyone and leaves with an older intoxicated man , never to be seen from again. The guy ends up throwing up everywhere and crying about how he ruined his chance, he will now have to face prison time for screwing up rehab. I can definitely relate to this part.

The ex-husband ends up being able to sneak back to rehab, and finally has an ephiany that he is blessed with a chance to get his life straight and finally buys into trying to attain soberity wholeheartedly. I want this to be me.......

I am so proud after reading the posts of many of you, keep up the strength, it is not easy but you are all strong..:goodjob:

Day 4

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Halo ..... Some things arrive at opportune moments, serendipitous for you !

Alcohol enhances NO ONE, never has, never will.

I have NEVER met someone who said ' wish I had more to drink last night ' weird eh?

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hanging on by a thread here....tempted bad.... What the heck????

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ican....threads make tapestries! Do NOT GIVE IN no matter what and no matter who. It's not worth another day 1. They just get harder. Soldier thru this, it won't last long...you are GROWING and that may take a struggle or 2. A little inconvenience is WORTH the freedom you are fighting for. Keep reading and posting...you will never regret being sober! B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I hope everyone is hanging in tonight & NOT looking for an excuse to drink
We can find those excuses all day long if we want to drink. The secret to success here is to NOT want to drink more than you want to drink. If you want to meet your goals then choose something other than AL. Go to the Tool box, pick something! Keep your thoughts positive, it really does make a huge difference

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
Lav

PS: MS - this is for you
Guided Meditations | Chopra Center

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters, hope all had a great Friday! I am still feeling good and encouraged.
I actually got a lot accomplished at work again today. I seem to be more focused but very antsy. It appears that people and customers are taking too long to get to the point or explain what they mean.
Is any one else experiencing this? I am about to come out of my skin. I am thinking like "come on already you are talking so slow" or "Get to the point already". I need that patient person I was last week. I hope this is normal, I need to take a chill pill.

On a great note my daughter and wife are sleeping here at my place tonight, early sporting event and will save 45 minutes off the drive. Really lonely here and I am very thankful for the company.

Jenni and No Sugar: y'all have this, there's too much invested, too many AF days. This is the one as Byrdie said. This is the time to make a stand against AL. I believe in y'all, you have to believe in you! Be strong, we are all pulling for y'all and counting on y'all to pull the rope!

S1179. congrats keep it going you got this.

Dd: it seem as though you are going through a bunch of different emotions and energy levels at the same time. I haven't experienced that as of yet. I'm either strong or weak never both.
I'm sure I will get there, hang tough and take care.

Good night my friends, I sure appreciate each and everyone of you! Thank You. j

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Thank you jIMMY!

I love southern vernacular -- your " y'all's" make me feel Good! Plus you are right - I don't want to cash in 23 days for nothing but pain.

I love your posts and your spirit and am glad your family is with you tonight.

Sleep well.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Evening All...I'm a bit late in checking in. I had a busy day and once I was home, my daughter was here for awhile. After that, I just needed some time to catch up on my email and think. I was tempted again today. Funny how it goes along so well and then bam! I exposed myself to a drinking situation, but I DID NOT DRINK! I am very happy with myself for not giving in to the voice in my head. I gave in to the social calling, but refrained from the AL. A success, but I left within an hour...too fragile yet. It would be nice not to have that 'just one' thought, but that's the reality for now. It requires me to keep safety measures in place.

There is some good reading here for me tonight. DD, Byrdlady, Jimmy...good stuff. Jenn and No Sugar, stay the course. I can feel you both after yesterday and today and how we don't trust ourselves yet. However, Byrdlady makes total sense. It might as well be this time. Think about what you will be losing and not what you are missing. We confuse the enjoyment of the social gathering with the necessity of AL. I had some nice conversation today while everyone was having drinks and I had a salad and water. I'm home from that and so glad I didn't give into that voice of just one...come on, it won't hurt...just one. I'd feel so disappointed in myself for having given my body that ammo to use against me when I've made such progress.

Oh and Jimmy...yeah I know that impatience. GET TO THE POINT! It's like your skin is crawling...your nerves are frazzled. I'm working on my patience and bringing a calm to my being, among other things.

New Day...I have always scuffed at yoga. I'm a get results fast kind of gal. Lose five to ten pounds in a week hammering myself to get it done fast. So, taking a slower route or perceived slower route has never appealed to my vanity. LOL! I've had the book on my shelf for a few years. It's my daughter's. Fallen Angel mentioned yoga to me one night just after my daughter pulled it out and then decided to leave it here again. Those two incidents triggered me to check it out a bit more. Amazing...guess it is my time for it now. Who knew it was going to be so enjoyable and beneficial? Good luck with your grandchild. You may need that yoga more than ever. Children take so much energy. :l

Love to all!

Slay

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

Hey Jimmy -- yeah, I totally had the low-patience disease this past week (I think we're pretty close in AF days -- Day 14 for me today), but it kind of lifted yesterday for me, noticeably. I had posted to Slay on Monday that I was feeling the opposite of her focused concentration, and barely able to complete tasks at work or necessarily care if I did or not. But not necessarily in a bad way. I just didn't view work as important as I usually do, and definitely felt a lot of impatience toward colleagues, especially one or two who tend to be complainers. Usually I'll politely listen to them, nod, and say something like "that must have been hard for you". Not this week. I haven't been angry or upset with anyone, just kind of -- well -- really, really bored with nonsense and petty issues, and without the patience to pretend I care.

But like I said, it sort of began to lift yesterday, and I was able to be more productive and tuned into things at work today. Also, I tried to view this as a positive thing: at some level, maybe there's a part of our brains that are very much invested in our recovery and so there's a bit of selfishness coming out with regard to taking care of ourselves first for awhile.

Also, I'm very happy for you being able to spend time with your wife and daughter -- you've written a lot about how lonesome you are for your family, so I did a mental "hooray" for you when I read that you have company this weekend! That's very cool -- have a wonderful weekend with them!

Elliesmom

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Okay ... It was super hard but I didn't give in... Hang tough Jennie n no sugar.
Thanks Byrdie!
Jimmy have a fun time with family
Whew! Wasn't expecting this temptation today but I think I know problem... I didn't eat supper and was tired so when hubs popped open a beer and drinking friend came it triggered my normal Friday solution
Thanks for support

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nesters....

Elliesmom and Jimmy....I am on day 13 and felt the same way over the past week....mine was geared more towards lazy incompetent coworkers and being the emotional dumping ground for 2 of my "friends". I simple just smiled through all of it and did a lot of deep breathing. I too feel much better today. I am sure it is a "normal" part of the process.

Ican.......nice job! I am going to be faced with out of town company in about an hour, this means my home will be filled with drinkers. I am ready for the challenge! Lucky day 13 for me and I refuse to give in!

Tonight my husband treated me to the movie "The Life of PI". I just finished the book the other day....the movie was good but nothing compared to the book. I used to read all of the time before I began drinking.....my gosh how I have missed the company of a good book! I am trying to decide which book to dive into next.....any and all suggestions welcome.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful AF weekend.....

[s1179]

Newbies Nest

Day 8...feeling anxious....

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Hang in there s1179.....try some deep breathing. Take your mind else where.