Newbies Nest

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

jIMMYDAMA;1464950 wrote: Hi I forgot to include this little bit of encouragement.

Lord, slow me down.
Ease the pounding of my heart by quieting my mind. Steady my hurried pace. Give me, in the confusion of my day, the calmness of the everlasting hills. Break the tension of my nerves and muscles . Help me to know the magical, restoring power of sleep.
Teach me to take minute vacations by slowing down to look at a flower or a cloud, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book. Remind me that the race is not always to the swift, that there is more to life than increasing speed.
Let me look upward into the branches of the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well. Lord slow me down. Inspire me to send my roots deep into the soil of life's enduring values that I may grow toward the stars of my great destiny.

:goodjob: Excellent post Jimmy!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Jimmy, I found this in the toolbox which has been talked about on MWO frequently. I know G man used this for his healing. It's what you are referring to in your present goal which is what I am working toward as well. I've started doing yoga which works on mindfulness.

3. Mindfulness: Both as a formal meditation practice, and as a way to approach daily life (awareness of the moment, and careful attention placed on whatever is going on right now), mindfulness is a skill par excellence. Much of our emotional distress arises out of a focus on the past (regrets that contribute to depression) and the future (anticipating disasters that contribute to anxiety disorders and panic). When we realize we have allowed our minds to dwell on the past or the future, shifting into the present can be calming, comforting, and effective in helping us to deal with life as it is (not as it was, or as it might be in case something awful happens). Re-focus on physical sensations: deliberately feel the sensations of your breath as it goes in and out, for example. Notice what your thoughts have been telling you (often it may be that your mind has tricked you into a dialog about drinking!). Notice the stress-related sensations you might be feeling in your chest, or belly, or shoulders.

DD, that's my song today because everyday I'm working to improve my mental and physical health. It's work to be sure, but it's work that feels good.


The carry bag is putting the list into tangible items. I like it!

Keep running those victory laps, folks. Don't let this day slip away.


Love,

Slay

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1464912 wrote: Elliesmom, you did a fantastic job. You've taken the right steps to succeed - getting it out of the house - don't feel dejected that you may have caved if it was there...it's still early in the game, and you're doing what you have to do. It will get easier and you will get stronger. :-) This weekend was huge for you in terms of building your strength to stay alcohol free. :-)

I'm throwing in my two cents - I've said it before that if I had jumped in and started working out - eating perfect - and living the clean life - right in the beginning? I would have crashed and burned. For me, it all had to come in small steps, and right in the beginning, I had to spend lots of time resting and quietly reflecting. For some people the complete 180 turn around does the trick. They stop dead in their tracks, change their life and never look back. For me, I would have gone into a tailspin - gotten overwhelmed and probably gone back to drinking. So write your own story. Do what works for you. And by all means, if something isn't working, don't keep doing it. :-)

Thank you LoLab. :thanks:

I needed top hear that this morning :l

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Didnt sleep well but I know that is to be expected. But I woke feeling pretty good and made myself a green smoothie. I also used some coconut water in the smoothie..it has electrolytes in and that should be good for my detox.
Back later,
Dottie

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening to everyone.

In Daisy's post she has "Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk. I think I have started down the path of paving the way to relapse. Let me explain.

I have been having trouble this week and on Friday some of the ladies were having a drinking night. I decided to test the waters and asked, "If I decided that I really wanted to drink tonight with you guys, what would you think of me?" Well they gave me the answer I was looking for and not the answer I needed. No problem. Go for it. We never thought you had a problem anyways. I asked, "Would you be disappointed in me?" because that is important to me. They said, "Of course not!" Well I went out for supper with them and I had 2 tonic with a slice of lime! Then I went home instead of to the one girls house for the "drinkathon". I was very happy I did.

Is that the end of the story? Nope. So I was Facetimeing with my hubby because he works away and asked him, "What would you do or say if I had drank the bottle of wine that I wanted this week?" He said that he knows that I would be disappointed in myself for the both of us. He did not say that he would be mad or disappointed. That is what I was looking for.

Last night I poured my tonic and lime and thought why not a little gin? I even had the bottle in my hand and the lid off and smelled it. I am happy to say I put the lid back on and did not do it! I am worried about these strong urges though. I like Hippy's idea of a basket of feel good stuff. I am thinking that I need to visit the toolbox for some new ideas.

Dottie-I love You Tube. I knit and crochet and they have the best tutorials on there. You can actually knit or crochet a project with someone. I have decided that I am going to make a You Tube project a day with it.

Jimmy - Thank you for the prayer. I have printed it. It fits me perfectly.

Well that is my thoughts for today. I hope they help someone else who might be going through the same things as me.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nanners, as well-meaning as our friends and spouses are, they do not understand ADDICTION. That is why I think it's so important to stay around like-minded people. If you hang with people that drink...guess what? Likewise, if you hang with people who don't, then you'd tend toward that side. I also notice that you aren't posting as often. It is sad to say that when folks 'go off on their own' it's out into a world where drinking is not only allowed, it's encouraged! That's why I think it is so important to check in here and read and post because we are one drink away from throwing all our hard work down the toilet! It's a hard, cold world out there for us folks..we have to stay strong...this disease is out to kill us! Please stay close, because byrds of a feather DO flock together...and we are NON Drinking Byrds! All the signals out there are telling us IT'S OK!!! But we know for us, it is FAR FROM OK, it is deadly...Byrdie

[Nanette]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1465023 wrote: Nanners, as well-meaning as our friends and spouses are, they do not understand ADDICTION. That is why I think it's so important to stay around like-minded people. If you hang with people that drink...guess what? Likewise, if you hang with people who don't, then you'd tend toward that side. I also notice that you aren't posting as often. It is sad to say that when folks 'go off on their own' it's out into a world where drinking is not only allowed, it's encouraged! That's why I think it is so important to check in here and read and post because we are one drink away from throwing all our hard work down the toilet! It's a hard, cold world out there for us folks..we have to stay strong...this disease is out to kill us! Please stay close, because byrds of a feather DO flock together...and we are NON Drinking Byrds! All the signals out there are telling us IT'S OK!!! But we know for us, it is FAR FROM OK, it is deadly...Byrdie

Thank you Byrdie. :h

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Lord, slow me down.
Ease the pounding of my heart by quieting my mind. Steady my hurried pace. Give me, in the confusion of my day, the calmness of the everlasting hills. Break the tension of my nerves and muscles . Help me to know the magical, restoring power of sleep.
Teach me to take minute vacations by slowing down to look at a flower or a cloud, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book. Remind me that the race is not always to the swift, that there is more to life than increasing speed.
Let me look upward into the branches of the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well. Lord slow me down. Inspire me to send my roots deep into the soil of life's enduring values that I may grow toward the stars of my great destiny.
3. Mindfulness: Both as a formal meditation practice, and as a way to approach daily life (awareness of the moment, and careful attention placed on whatever is going on right now), mindfulness is a skill par excellence. Much of our emotional distress arises out of a focus on the past (regrets that contribute to depression) and the future (anticipating disasters that contribute to anxiety disorders and panic). When we realize we have allowed our minds to dwell on the past or the future, shifting into the present can be calming, comforting, and effective in helping us to deal with life as it is (not as it was, or as it might be in case something awful happens). Re-focus on physical sensations: deliberately feel the sensations of your breath as it goes in and out, for example. Notice what your thoughts have been telling you (often it may be that your mind has tricked you into a dialog about drinking!). Notice the stress-related sensations you might be feeling in your chest, or belly, or shoulders.

Funny how, when feeling somewhat anxious, sick, worried (but not sick with worry... just mild malaise)... that I come on here and read these two posts and go... "ah" and "yeah" ... I see what I'm doing: letting an imagined future affect the present.

Really good posts.

Nanners - wot Byrdie said - but also a thank you... it is very rare to see someone articulate so well their thoughts about relapse, and how it can upon us in a sly, unconscious way. I reckon the fact that you came here and wrote that stands you in VERY good stead to keep going and growing stronger AF. Reckon it's Rick the Dick scratching an itch. Ignore - scratch an itch and it becomes a scar; leave it be and it WILL go away.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1465023 wrote: Nanners, as well-meaning as our friends and spouses are, they do not understand ADDICTION. That is why I think it's so important to stay around like-minded people. If you hang with people that drink...guess what? Likewise, if you hang with people who don't, then you'd tend toward that side. I also notice that you aren't posting as often. It is sad to say that when folks 'go off on their own' it's out into a world where drinking is not only allowed, it's encouraged! That's why I think it is so important to check in here and read and post because we are one drink away from throwing all our hard work down the toilet! It's a hard, cold world out there for us folks..we have to stay strong...this disease is out to kill us! Please stay close, because byrds of a feather DO flock together...and we are NON Drinking Byrds! All the signals out there are telling us IT'S OK!!! But we know for us, it is FAR FROM OK, it is deadly...Byrdie

BYRDLADY Thanks for your faithfulness. Your words mean alot to many.

:wave:
-S-

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Nanette;1465022 wrote: Good Morning, Afternoon or Evening to everyone.

In Daisy's post she has "Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk. I think I have started down the path of paving the way to relapse. Let me explain.

I have been having trouble this week and on Friday some of the ladies were having a drinking night. I decided to test the waters and asked, "If I decided that I really wanted to drink tonight with you guys, what would you think of me?" Well they gave me the answer I was looking for and not the answer I needed. No problem. Go for it. We never thought you had a problem anyways. I asked, "Would you be disappointed in me?" because that is important to me. They said, "Of course not!" Well I went out for supper with them and I had 2 tonic with a slice of lime! Then I went home instead of to the one girls house for the "drinkathon". I was very happy I did.

Is that the end of the story? Nope. So I was Facetimeing with my hubby because he works away and asked him, "What would you do or say if I had drank the bottle of wine that I wanted this week?" He said that he knows that I would be disappointed in myself for the both of us. He did not say that he would be mad or disappointed. That is what I was looking for.

Last night I poured my tonic and lime and thought why not a little gin? I even had the bottle in my hand and the lid off and smelled it. I am happy to say I put the lid back on and did not do it! I am worried about these strong urges though. I like Hippy's idea of a basket of feel good stuff. I am thinking that I need to visit the toolbox for some new ideas.

Dottie-I love You Tube. I knit and crochet and they have the best tutorials on there. You can actually knit or crochet a project with someone. I have decided that I am going to make a You Tube project a day with it.

Jimmy - Thank you for the prayer. I have printed it. It fits me perfectly.

Well that is my thoughts for today. I hope they help someone else who might be going through the same things as me.

The funny thing about this post Nanette is it mirrors my gut concerns I had been having about you the past wee while.
I had noticed you had been checking in less and was positively relieved when you did, as I missed your input and like you.

What you write confirms my fears and what we know about recovery. If you drift away from the support, you risk relapse.

Make a promise to yourself that DAILY checkins become part of your life for the foreseeable future.
I have six months sobriety in a few days but my time here has not reduced since the day I quit. I will stay here, maybe at a reduced rate, for two years. This is thought to be the time it takes for sobriety to become firm.

I have never wavered, never craved and feel wonderful BUT I will not risk returning to that disgusting half life I had.

It took me more than twenty years to end up in this mess, two years is a small price to pay to get out of it.

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Some great posts that I can totally relate to - thank you all.
Sorry, change of plan - was gonna post a bit more but just got a text from my ex-husband to say my son (who lives with him) has moved out, which means they have had another row - I worry so much about him; he is angry, mixed-up and constant criticism from his dad does not help matters.
I wish he had never went to live anywhere near his dad; at the time I thought it was a good idea, career-wise, but no.......
I will try to contact him - he is 21 but not the most mature; have to be careful with young men and their feelings. Catch you all later.....

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1465053 wrote:

I have six months sobriety in a few days but my time here has not reduced since the day I quit. I will stay here, maybe at a reduced rate, for two years. This is thought to be the time it takes for sobriety to become firm.
I have never wavered, never craved and feel wonderful BUT I will not risk returning to that disgusting half life I had.
It took me more than twenty years to end up in this mess, two years is a small price to pay to get out of it.

This is daunting, Kuya, but I appreciate your willingness to dispense the Tough Love. It is what I at least need to hear. After a paltry 25 days of success and as I negotiate day 26, I hear the voices that "I'm not that bad, I can handle it, etc. etc.". When my logical brain is working, I know that moderating is a impossible for me but boy, those voices.

After watching Flight this weekend, my husband innocently commented "I'm sure glad no one in our family ever got that caught up by alcohol". My first response (in my head) was, what in the heck are you talking about? Was I that good at hiding what was going on???. What I said was, "Yeah, me too".

I wasn't nearly to the point where the pilot in that movie was but I know that does not mean I can drink alcohol. There is no reason to self-destruct to that point before making a change! But those voices saying that I'm not that far gone, that I can drink 1 or 2, you all know what I'm talking about.

So, I'm staying in this forum for the long run, too, because I can see that I could drift away from this AF life that I want.

Again, Kuya, thanks for be willing to take the time on this board and to put yourself out there for us.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hello fellow Nesters.....I've been reading every day but not posting too much. I just wanted to pop in to acknowledge the support and good advice here.
Nanette, I know you will be strong and be able to fight of those voices. We are all with you.

Slay....I just took one of my daughters to my yoga class.....it's Family Day here, so non members were welcome.

Welcome to all the new Nesters....lets all pull through the day together!

[PaisleyG]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Kairos I have stopped inviting people for dinner because I always drank too much, felt like an idiot, forgot conversations, found myself role modelling crap behaviour in front of offspring, and woke up feeling terrible. Haven't had friends over for dinner for ages, cooking and drinking is one of my favourite combinations. I hope one day I can do it again without the booze. I also stopped going to others for dinner or parties because of the same reason. It's easier and safer, but more boring, to stay at home. I am doing 3 AF nights per week ATM but after reading posts etc I reckon I could up my goal.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hi Paisley,
Glad you found the nest
Changing our lives when we stop drinking is a must! I substituted decaf green tea (of all things) for all the wine I previously consumed. I have no regrets whatsoever. I also stayed very close to home for several months after I quit & I don't regret that either.

Nanette, change the radio station in your head!
Thoughts are just thoughts ~ you don't have to act on them