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kuya;1466931 wrote: Thanks Hun ....... Keep trucking"Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles that nobody knows about".
~Author Unknown
AF since February 4, 2013
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Morning everyone; just a quick check-in. Can't believe I am on day 10 - been a few moments for sure! I have really pushed through a few nights where I felt like doing my usual and making every excuse under the sun to just 'give myself a break and have a drink'.
I have, over the past 2 years, had some good AF time under my belt, never more than 3 months at a time but in comparison to how I was living before, this was good.
Since my dad got sick, I have gradually sunken into that old world, bit by bit, and along with that came the depression, hopelessness, ugliness, lack of productivity and lack of fun and laughter and creativeness that is the 'gift of alcohol'.
So, today, I am thankful for those AF days of the past couple of years because they helped me keep my goal in sight. I am lucky enough to 'know' that life is so much better on the other side. Granted, I have not made it stick, but God loves a trier, and I will do until it is done!
I am taking each day as it comes and that is enough for me for now - not looking too far ahead; just grateful each morning I have woken up sober and especially so after a few tough nights.....
I am reading and trying to post more than I did before and this has been a great help. I am grateful that my dad has been well during this period; it gives me a kick-start for times when I may not be able to post as often.
Thank you to all of you for 'carrying me' through so far.....
Have a great day!IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!
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Newbies Nest
daisy45;1467026 wrote: Morning everyone; just a quick check-in. Can't believe I am on day 10 - been a few moments for sure! I have really pushed through a few nights where I felt like doing my usual and making every excuse under the sun to just 'give myself a break and have a drink'.
I have, over the past 2 years, had some good AF time under my belt, never more than 3 months at a time but in comparison to how I was living before, this was good.
Since my dad got sick, I have gradually sunken into that old world, bit by bit, and along with that came the depression, hopelessness, ugliness, lack of productivity and lack of fun and laughter and creativeness that is the 'gift of alcohol'.
So, today, I am thankful for those AF days of the past couple of years because they helped me keep my goal in sight. I am lucky enough to 'know' that life is so much better on the other side. Granted, I have not made it stick, but God loves a trier, and I will do until it is done!
I am taking each day as it comes and that is enough for me for now - not looking too far ahead; just grateful each morning I have woken up sober and especially so after a few tough nights.....
I am reading and trying to post more than I did before and this has been a great help. I am grateful that my dad has been well during this period; it gives me a kick-start for times when I may not be able to post as often.
Thank you to all of you for 'carrying me' through so far.....
Have a great day!
I am so glad for you to be sober now so you can be fully present for your dad. I don't expect he knows but I am sure if he did he would be so proud of his little girl :h
Keep on trucking
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Newbies Nest
kuya;1467039 wrote: I am happy for you Daisy and deeply impressed that you have achieved this during such difficult times.
I am so glad for you to be sober now so you can be fully present for your dad. I don't expect he knows but I am sure if he did he would be so proud of his little girl :h
Keep on trucking
And 'you' keep truckin'! :lIT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!
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Newbies Nest
Morning all...still can't believe I've been AF for 3 months now! Just makes me so determined to, as someone put it on here, "protect my quit" and keep going.
Was chatting to a friend last night who I am meeting for a salsa class next week. Haven't met her in person since I quit. She likes her vino and when I said I was taking the car and not drinking she was like "oh one or two vino's won't do you any harm". She is under the impression that I have quit as training for marathon as that's what I've been telling people to give me some space for a while from questions as to why I'm not drinking.
Anyway, 2 months ago I would have felt uncomfortable with responding to her question - partly because I was finding it unnatural to be going anywhere and not drinking and partly because I was doubting my decision to stop here n there (as you do when the mind-trickery starts!) and if I'm honest felt like I was missing out by not drinking. But, not this time. I genuinely have no desire to drink at the salsa club and I am really looking forward to trying salsa (and making a fool of myself no doubt) completely sober.
It's funny the difference a couple of months makes!! x
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Newbies Nest
Good morning Nesters & TGIF
JJ, you will be findinng all sorts of AF muscles now you never knew you had
I remember feeling quite empowered at that point, nothing & no one was going to push me off track!
Kuya, sorry about your money/business woes, I can relate. I lost most of my 'big' business customers, clients when the ecomomy tanked. Some of thise businesses went out of business themselves
Hang in there, I know we will figure it all out!
Daisy, I am happy for you as well.
Speaking of business, time for me to get going!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
LavAF since 03/26/09
NF since 05/19/09
Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:
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Drank .... I'm wanting to hate on myself but you know what if I just stay AF til thurs of next week I'll have been sober 23/28 days in February andi should be damn proud because that's more sober than I've been in along time
Kuya would you post info on what happens when you binge .... Something about receptors you referred to elsewhere? I can't find the info .... Thx
Still trying AF and still loving y'all and trying to stay proud nd positive
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Newbies Nest
jIMMYDAMA;1466854 wrote: Good evening Nesters, it's been a little crazy but rewarding! Had a rough day at work Tuesday, not getting along with my wife (what's new haha, oh well) Office was crazy, phones were crazy, people popping in unannounced, constant distractions. I took a deep breath, told my staff, I appreciate y'all, but I'm out of here! I had crazy thoughts, felt like why am I even trying? I came to the realization that I was the poster child for H A L T,
I was hungry, angry, lonely and tired. I needed a break and fast!
Decided the best thing for me was to get the hell out of there. Went to the afternoon feature at the movies for the first time in years, diet coke and popcorn! I was the only person in the room, they showed the movie just for me . Felt like a King, all calm returned, peace returned and my attitude was truly adjusted without the help of AL.
My wife told me she really can't trust me to remain AF, I told her I really don't care whether you can trust me or not because I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for me! I went home cooked a big steak with mushrooms, a little reading on MWO, and to bed!
Told my kids I would boil crawfish yesterday, wished I would not have promised them but my word means too much to me so I relented. It turned out really nice, baseball practice with my son, crawfish were good, actually got along half ass with my wife, I just don't know guys I just don't know? Sorry about the ranting, I just don't have much support other than y'all!
One red, what a wonderful story, thanks for sharing, this is what we need to keep us grounded and appreciate the little things!
Daisy45 and Kuya, association is the correct term, I was calling them habits, having a drink when a certain thing or event occurs, thank you. Associations - I have a bunch, and I'm killing them as they present themselves.
Welcome, JC Newbie, it's a great place full of wonderful people.
Jennifire, keep it going, that's awesome.
New Day, I'm on ambien and melatonin and/ or diphenhydramine. I can't sleep either, it's day 18 so I can't blame the AL. My mind is always instant on and never stops, I pray to God, Mary and Joseph that it would just slow down and let me sleep with out all the sleep aids!
Star, loving the colors, and your colorful insights, Thank You!
Slay, what a great post, I so can relate to my need to set boundries. Every relationship of mine had the same theme as your post. I allowed everyone to jump on my back and I tried to save the world. It can kill you if you let it. Thanks for your insights.
Dd, I was a functional alcoholic, I drank just enough not to Totally mess things Totally up!
No sugar, hang in there, Great Job!
Struggles, make a plan, and decide to make a stand, you got this.
Ican, You can I love it!
Byrdie and Hippy, thanks for watching out and guiding us through the rapids, we appreciate y'all so much!
K9, good to hear from you again.
Mein , Tess and Fin, Miss y'all hope all is well!
Greets to Lavande, Nanette, Kairos, Elliesmom, Pinecone, Kradle ?
Take care, sorry if I missed anyone, thanks for being there for me and everyone on this journey! You all are so appreciated and needed! j
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DAY 10 - 100%
Hi nest!
At last feel I'm back to 100%! Yes, it took 10 days of your life to do it! (Let that be a warning to all) 10 DAYS! Feel great! Don't want to be over confident.. Don't want to be egocentric.. Just want to enjoy the simple things and advance my mind. Speaking of which.. Please post your dreams in detail on the Dream Warriors thread and I will analyze them and post my thoughts asap!
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Happy Friday Nesters. Another busy weekend for me. I have a living History event tomorrow and the circus comes to town today! Every year I feel like a kid again when the "Circus" comes back to town. It reminds me of the times my Dad would take me to the circus. I'd ride the rides and stuff my face with candy apples and cotton candy. Dad would always remember to bring a few carrots in his pocket. He'd pretend that is was a healthy snack for me but he really knew it was a forbidden treat for the ponies. :H My Dad was a Cop and was 6' 10" of raging alcoholism. :upset: I'm so glad I have some fond memories of him. Not many, but a few. I am every bit as much an Alkie as he was but never was so angry and intimitating as he. Thank God!!!Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan
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Newbies Nest
Icanwithoutacan;1467094 wrote: Drank .... I'm wanting to hate on myself but you know what if I just stay AF til thurs of next week I'll have been sober 23/28 days in February andi should be damn proud because that's more sober than I've been in along time
Kuya would you post info on what happens when you binge .... Something about receptors you referred to elsewhere? I can't find the info .... Thx
Still trying AF and still loving y'all and trying to stay proud nd positive
:goodjob: Drifter!!! Welcome to the wonderful world of sobriety. I'm 5 months sober and it feels great!!Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan
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Newbies Nest
Morning Nesters!
Oneredshoe, this is for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyooCErXdMI[/video]]A Beautiful Morning-The Rascals - YouTube
Well, alright the snow is coming down and it's cold, but it's still a beautiful morning in my head, and it's a new beautiful day!
Ican, just keep on going. Sometimes, we just aren't quite ready yet, but if you want it, eventually it clicks. For me I've had to deal with other issues and I am still dealing with them. I believe staying AF involves totally embracing life and sometimes we have things that are still in our way or lessons we still have to learn. Keep plowing through.
Jimmy, good job on going to the movies and taking a break. Smart move. I think a lot of us have that issue. It's not easy to break with loved ones either. If you've been a caretaker/rescuer for someone, they get pretty testy when you stop. It can be a painful process, but there isn't any other way to the other side. You are doing great. Hang tough and stick to your guns. If you don't have support outside, just grab a hand and vent here.:l You are exactly right that it has to be for YOU! Not others. When we want it for ourselves and want the change and a better life, we are motivated from inside.
Daisy, I can relate to those very sad times where we hurt so bad we need relief. Eventually, we begin to hurt a little less, then even less and we are able to grab hold of our internal strength and use it again. Keep moving forward; you are worth it.
DD, my dreams are too scary and bizarre to share. Sometimes they are horrifying. I know they will pass as I work through my situation and get to a more peaceful place. An unsettled mind will haunt you in the night. I know people who get locked in there dreams and are freaking out, but you have a hard time getting them awake. They are lucid dreaming at the time.
Kuya, life sounds like it's having a field day with you in the 'when it rains, it pours' category. The old obvious choice was DRINK! How can one person handle all this...to hell with it...waaahhh...victim...
I admire your new found strength. We need strength and courage and we sure aren't going to find the real thing in a bottle. Liquid courage is a fantasy of losing proportions. It used to make me feel strong when I was in the inebriated state. I would challenge guys to arm wrestling contests like I was so tough. I think we both know how that ended...the same way all our situations end while drinking. It's funny you should mention your son. Last night after logging off, I was thinking about asking you how you handle the difficulties with your children in regards to that other topic of not feeling the pain of others or rescuing them. So this morning, there you have two issues. Care to share? I thought maybe I should ask PM. Anyway, I wanted your insight.:l:h
Good job Dottie. Don't you feel good about that this morning? Keep that in your mind. How good it feels to use your strength and win.
Hello to everyone in the nest. You can make this an AF day. Tomorrow will be 30 days for me. If I can do it with the mess I've been in, we all can do it!!!
Love,
SlayRule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat
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