Newbies Nest

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1468730 wrote: OneRedShoe, is that Maggie?😊
Beautiful pup!

It sure is . I love her so much, she is the sunshine in my life!

[Persephone1]

Newbies Nest

Evening Gang ~

:goodjob: On your FULL MOON/7 DAYS! Nursie! Grand Accomplishment...

OneRedShoe ~ It definitely sounds like he's f'n with you. He prolly does want his playmate back and pullin' out every trick he knows. Wow! You're impressive in your resolve. I'm so sorry you've got this extra crap, but think of what a better place you are in relative to him...honestly, he's gonna be the one who will feel like an ass for the way he's treated you (hopefully) and wake up with a hangover tomorrow and have all the guilt/shame/remorse BS...Remember? I hope you can do something extra special for yourself, you deserve it!!! We will be here for you...:l

Ellismom ~ My most recent relationship was with a man who was never a big drinker. And because it was something he could take or leave, he NEVER understood the struggles I had. It wasn't that he tried to be insensitive, he honestly didn't get it. I do think it seems odd that he hasn't noticed in 23 days, but guys are wired differently. I love the advice to be True to You and your sobriety 1st and foremost. You've got us for the alcohol related stuff, we 'get it'. You got lottsa love here darlin' :h

Byrdie & Lav ~ you are both such delightful and nurturing souls. What living gifts you both are, clearly to the peeps on this site, but in your own personal lives also. :thanks: for your constant example of LOVE.

Slay ~ you used the 'IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!' in context re: Ellie's husband. I didn't think of that when I initially wrote it, but it's a great point...when it's not something I can directly apply, the other party may be subject to struggling with it on their end. It's so simple and so TRUE! I mean, think about all the drama in the world and how often this 'principle' applies?

GG ~ Enjoy your country music!! Please stick close by from 4 ~ 7 every night, we'll keep you company :l

Hiya LastStraw, NoSug and Star :h

K9 ~ You still good for Quitting tomorrow? Let me know...

Runningbird ~ I kinda had a health related wake up call this time around too. Nothing near a stroke, but enough to scare me. I quit drinking 1 month ago (legit now!) and smoking 4 days ago and I don't miss them AT ALL. I realize that this may not last, but I'll take it as long as I can! I hope you take this opportunity to make the healthy changes in your life and perhaps you can turn your brother onto MWO! Wouldn't that be awesome?

Sorry if I missed anyone, you are all held in the cozy warmth and collective 'love' of the nest tonight. Peace. P

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

I love that illustration K9. Just common sense and so much more positive. It always bugged me at AA, how they insist on rubbing your face in it, and making you keep your hand up for thirty days, branding yourself as a 'slipper', day after day.....your 'punishment', I guess......

[RunningCourage]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1468691 wrote:
I don't think I have EVER received the recognition I wanted or deserved from my husband. He never said 'good job' to me for anything I did so when I quit drinking & smoking it was no different. I found coming here to MWO each & everyday to be sufficient - it had to be
I highly suggest working on your own gratitude list, expanding yourself spiritually a bit thru reading, meditation, etc all really helps as well. I think I've learned the hard way that we really can't depend on anyone but ourselves.


Morning nesters... just reading the boards early this monday morning (By the way Allan - arra best for the half marathon mate!) and was struck by Lav's response to Onered to illustrate well that it is possible - and it is preferred - to rise above the negative issues around us. To cultivate some gratitude. Often I find this hard... I can easy let situations, stresses, my way of thinking, other people etc etc... get me down. Previously I would head to a bottle, alleviate the stress BUT NEVER DEAL WITH IT. I would let it filter into me and drown me.

The longer I am sober, the more I am aware of this. The more I am aware of this, the readier I am to deal with this. In dealing with it the happier - and more grateful - I am.

The following is posted by Det from the affers thread... I thought it kinda related too.

Have a good day folks.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, ?All the water in the world cannot drown you unless it gets inside of you.?

No matter what your problem --Financial instability, relationship discomfort, history of things not working out, or whatever difficulty is around you --let it be around you. It's a circumstance. It's around you but it is not meant to control or determine your internal weather.

Your internal weather comes from your state of mind, and the state of your heart. Keep your mind and your heart focused on gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude is a harmonious vibration with abundance.

All the water in the world can be around you and you can float on top of it. In fact, what you?ll discover is that the ocean delights to lift you up as you let go.

Today, let go, let Life, and be lifted up and supported by an ocean of abundant good.

Let go and be lifted,

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

RunningCourage, love that way of thinking!
Oneredshoe; keep your head up high (redhead that is!!!)
Do you think maybe because you have stopped that he feels that he doesn't have to compensate for when you were drinking and is letting loose? You know how when we go out and have to drink less when one of our friends gets so drunk that you end up looking after them? In a way it saves you and maybe you being a drinker was saving him from showing that he too had a problem? Maybe I think too much......
Anyway, hope you're feeling better. Make the most of that new colour - change your make-up, wear something funky and make yourself smile - loud and proud!!!!
Well, day 13 for me! I actually started this time thinking I wasn't gonna get past the first couple of days, but, thank God, as I pull through each craving I can feel the strength building, bit by bit....I feel great and am so grateful to be up early every day and appreciate the beautiful mornings - what a great start to the day!

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Didn't get a chance to pop in yesterday - Saturday night I was sitting by my fire, feeling good and had a very busy day - so felt a bottle (would def be 2!) of wine would just be perfect! I knew I wouldn't and didn't......so off to bed about 12.30.
My daughters were out so I half expected a call to give them a lift (I always tell them to phone if they can't get a taxi) so when I was woken at 2am I rushed to the phone. It was a mutual friend of my sis and I, looking for sis and saying she heard there was a party in my house! My sis had met her out drinking that night. She waffled a bit and apologised and I went back to bed.
8.50am phone rings again - thinking it might be my mum I answer. My sister, sounding half-cut, asking did I say blah-de-blah to my other sis - a load of shite! I said 'Is this really why you are phoning me? Don't bring me into anything that you two are sitting discussing when you're drinking!' I couldn't believe it! Put the phone down on her.
My 2 sisters and brother-in-law had been drinking through the night together and got into a fight - was I glad to be sober yesterday????!!!!!!(and I found out later that it got to fisty-cuffs!!!)
The 2am girl did ring later, apologising over and over - I felt sorry for her as I know how she feels.
My sister on the other hand will never apologise, just try to find a way of justifying her behaviour - ah well....
So there I was sober and twice over 7 hours was dosed by drinking. In a way I am glad - reaffirms just how poisonous alcohol is!

[Kairos]

Newbies Nest

Got 8 weeks today. Can't believe how quickly the time is going. Maybe that's a good sign??
Have a great day Newbies.

Kairos

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

:goodjob: Kairos!!
In reading past posts I see I missed a lot of discussion about circumstances in life ..... I went to an AA meeting on Saturday and the man who told his story looked a lot like my dad and had similar experiences as a drunk. The huge difference is this man chose life and his family over alcohol whereas my dad chose alcohol and died when he was 56. This brought up emotions I have not felt in a while. It got me thinking....when my dad was a raging alcoholic, when he abandoned me, when he loved booze more than me....I suppressed my feelings about that by drinking myself!! So, all these years later (that was over 20 years ago) I am now sober and sitting in these emotions from so long ago. That is kind of scary. But, it is also in a way a relief because I feel that by being sober, I will be able to resolve these feelings as a result of circumstances that happened years ago. As for present day circumstances, I don't find it difficult to meet them head on and not internalize them by making a mental gratitude list every day. I am so lucky to be alive, to find the strength to chose life and my family over alcohol, to have my health....the list goes on and on and on.......

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

jennie, keep those thoughts

Daisy, wow - they drank for 7 hours? Aren't you glad you didn't do that? :H

Nursie, congrats on your 7 AF days yesterday.
Hello to Allan from yesterday as well!

Onred, maybe that new hair color will serve as a shield :H
I love that idea actually!

Hello to everyone & wishes for a great AF Monday!
Lav

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

I love the Eleanor Roosevelt quote about the ocean. I am having a "relationship" difficulty with hubby, (since the beginning of our marriage ) and I know it's his work to do. But the ocean illlustration is priceless and very timely. Thank you RUNNING COURAGE for posting it. It is calming.

ALMOST FREE, never attending AA, I did not realize they made people hold their hand up when they slipped. Brutal. I did attend one Alanon for a friend who was bad off with AL, never to return, as we were leaving the public place where the meeting was held, I was quizzed about my relationship with the Alc, in front of passers by, on the way out the door. People were LOOKING as us as I tried to be non-commital, trying to hint that she should shut-up.

Also, even though Celebrate Recovery promotes anonimity, loving, judge free, gossip free, based on trust in Our Lord...I was involved as support for a time in child care and was privy to the goings on pre-session during the food preparation. Being shocked and devistated by the hyprocacy I left THAT group. Then I'd drink on the way home. Hey, I wasn't an Alc, so I could drink. Sick, I know.

Anyway, early morning...off to the gym with gratitude for the nest and you people, truly loving each other.

-S-

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Kairos;1468804 wrote: Got 8 weeks today. Can't believe how quickly the time is going. Maybe that's a good sign??
Have a great day Newbies.

Kairos

:goodjob: I am very proud of you!!! :l

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Happy Monday Nesters! It's been a busy weekend and I'm glad it's Monday again. I'm over 5 months sober and had a craving to drink yesterday. I must say it surprised me. I have been so pleasantly indifferent to alcohol. I was trying to come off baclofen and see how it felt. NOW I REMEMBER! :upset: It doesn't feel good! Why would I want a drink when everything is going so well in my life? I guess the answer is that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC! I HAVE THE DISEASE OF ALCOHOLISM! Without medicine my disease will continue to get worse until it kills me. With a simple non narcotic pill my disease is stopped dead in it's tracks so my life can go on! Pretty simple and it works for me.
Today is the opening of my towns project to celebrate Ponce De Leon's landing in Florida 500 years ago. They are having a contest that I want to enter. I will be creating an artwork to represent our town. John Lennon's song keeps playing in my head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkZC7sqImaM[/video]]John Lennon - Give Peace A Chance - YouTube It's decided "Give PEACE a Chance" will be my theme! Enjoy Monday and make sure to hug someone today! :l

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Pers, So today is 30 right? Congratulations to YOU!

Runningbird, great job on making the right choice with the wine. Keep on moving in that direction.

Byrdie, slay, nosugar, Dottie, it seems like there are lots of alcohol commercials on tv lately….maybe it’s the shows I’m watching. Those skinny girl cocktails were pushed during the Oscars, and they even showed where the stars walk after their win….they’re led to a bar for a celebratory cocktail.

Lav, mick, star, kradle – hello! And K9, I loved the stair analogy. Wow, dedication. I can always find a reason to stay in bed - LOL.

Almost, Nosugar, You’re offering such great support…


Spiderwoman, that’s awesome that you are evidence of the impact that quitting can do to our bodies, physically.

Moni, yeah, I still get that too….people who are aware that I haven’t been drinking for a long time – still say let’s get together for a bottle of wine. ??? Most really don’t know what other occasion to use, I think.

Hippy, most of my cooking disasters were back in the days of drinking while cooking, but for sure, I still make my blunders now….I’ll keep that in mind about the beans and tomatoes…sorry…no knowledge about sassafras….but it’s fun to say!

Nursie, there’s something about having things in order on the outside that makes you feel like they are in order on the inside, too…

Dimension, I hope that cycle was broken this time.


Jimmy, congrats on the tournament win, and even bigger congrats on staying strong. Stick it out long enough and you will feel so much stronger about everything, ok?

Laststraw, I have to apologize but your comment “since the beginning of our marriage” made me snicker. It just caught me off guard….relationship difficulty….I thought you had a little spat.

Struggles, keep taking care of yourself and try to remember that non alcohol help for anxiety before it gets out of hand…I hope your mom is doing better.


Allan, it’s so nice to hear from you….congratulations on your 6 months!

Halo, I feel like it too – with SAD. And I take my vitamin D. I think this winter has just had such a long streak of cold and lack of sunshine, I just feel like hibernating. But OH how glorious it will be when spring arrives!

No, Ellie, not silly at all…I don’t think that most of our significant others think that we have a problem as big as it really might be. I’m betting that your hubby has noticed but really thinks that you’ve just come to your senses. That you’ve cut back and hopefully can join him in an occasional cocktail like “normal” people. Also remember that our frustration levels are pretty high in the beginning – yep, even after 23 days…so while he may just be wishing you’d have a “Little” and lighten up a bit, you might also be a little more agitated than normal with his lack of awareness of your struggle and accomplishment. It was probably about that stage that I started talking with mine about alcohol. I never came out and said how bad things were – I still haven’t. But I did read the Jason Vale book and had some open discussions with him about how alcohol is pushed and even glorified in society….most of my conversations stemmed from wanting to raise our son with an open mind about alcohol – and not have him believe that drinking was just something that he had to do when he was old enough.


Welcome GG!


Onered, loved your story and that you are finding the upside…that’s so important. And I love your baby….she’s beautiful.

RC, thanks for sharing that post. I love that.

Wow daisy – I’m so happy for you. You could look around and decide that if you can’t beat em – join em….but you are choosing to rise above the craziness around you and use it as an example of where you do not want to go.

Kairos, congratulations on 8 weeks!!!

Jennie, that is exactly what happened /is happening to me. So much….a lifetime of “not dealing” …but it’s not all bad…you’re finding that out.

Where is Kuya???

I’m off to try to create some order around me….kid is back to school, so now time for me to clean up the remnants of a week off school and “playing”…:-)

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

So far any craving I have had was just that, but now, today, it isn't that I feel I have a craving; I am so pissed off I feel like crying. I am not going to drink; I just feel that I would love to be invisible and make everything that is bothering me disappear, just for a while. I feel I am up against it and not sure of a way out. Drinking would be a numbing that would release me for a few hours......
I know I won't but sometimes I wish I had someone to help take the load off......sorry for being a moan - don't want to worry my daughter so have to go 'happy face' again - just don't feel like it...

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Missing Kuya. Hurry back, we need you.