Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow...fast moving nest!!! Everyone is doing what has to be done! So proud of everyone's progress!!

Daisy, what you are feeling now is what builds those muscles....remember the ones you use get stronger...that relates to the ones we use to cave in AND/OR the ones we use to fight. Just take the troubles one at a time and sort them out. Don't even let AL BE A CHOICE! Tell yourself that!! This is what makes the difference....fighting thru the difficult times instead of numbing up. You can do this!! Remember all the overnight posts about GRATITUDE! We have so much going for us and we don't even realize it! Muscle thru this, GIRL!!! NO MATTER WHAT AND NO MATTER WHO!!! B

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, sweet friends-

I missed a WHOLE lot yesterday by not having a chance to check in. I am sorry and don't know that I will have time to catch up. Just know that I love each and every one of you and am so proud of you!!! I will try to read back later. Have meetings all day today. Be good!!
:h:hStar

Oh and Daisy :l:l Please try to make a gratitude list to get your mind off your worries. I need to do the same!!!

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

Broken Arrow!

The alcohol arrow did not find it's target this time! I had a (Small) urge to drink a beer about 22:00 last night.. But just had a tea and let it pass.. No problem.. Today all is totally normal, did my work out etc. In the past those 4 beer could have turned into 1,000 over the next few days.. But now I'm able to put a stop to it, before it gets out of control! Thanks everyone here!:thanks:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

DD, is all the AL out of the house? I'm so proud of you for fighting thru it. Starving the beast is the only way to kill it! :goodjob: B

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

psychologically force field!

Byrd.. Thanks for your words.. You have one of the best voices here, and obviously are sincere in your wish to help others. Unfortunately because of the nature of my business, I'm around alcohol and parties frequently. So I must be psychologically strong and be able to deal with any situation no matter what. This is what I'm trying to do.. Build a psychologically force field around myself so I can avoid such agonizing debacles in the future! And expressing myself here is helping to build that! :goodjob:

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

Good morning to all. Thank you for being here. I feel great waking up on Monday clear headed and organized YAY. Day three today - I will check in when I get home. Thanks to you all for being here!!

Happy Monday

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Really struggling .... Drank on weekend ... Day 1 again and guess I am an alcoholic

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1468900 wrote: Really struggling .... Drank on weekend ... Day 1 again and guess I am an alcoholic

Just try to build up that psychologically force field slowly but surely.. Overtime you will become stronger and you will need less and less booze!

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good Day to all Nesters! My but there has been a lot of activity in the nest over the weekend. I'm sorry, but i'm babysitting my 11 month old grandson for the next month and a half most of the day, for most of the week (except Thursdays), so will have very little time to read and post.
If it's alright with you all, I would like to pop in and be accountable here though ..... I'll just say a quick hi ... I'm still here. I don't want to disappear, as I find it too difficult to remain AF or to limit it when I do drink, if I don't.
Today is day 2 for me, but as I've said before, for me it's not about numbers, it's about breaking that daily drinking pattern of 1 - 2 bottles of wine. And with the help of everyone here, I have been able to do that. For that I am very grateful.

Thank you to all. Baby is up again! back to diapers ..... Very tiring for this 59 year old!, but also he is such a delight.

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters! I took a scan through the nest and we have a mixed batch, but so many interesting thoughts everyone has shared.

Lav, your comment concerning you learned the hard way that you really can't depend on anyone but you. I've finally embraced that concept this go around. I've been fighting against that reality. I've actually been cycling through the five stages of grief coming to grips with that reality. I was so afraid of embracing it and yet now that I am, I am finally finding peace with it. There are so many areas we go through the grieving cycle in before we finally just accept a reality. We live in a lot of crazy making behavior and emotions in the process. AL loves to be part of that period of confusion.

I found this post last night by Ann on MWO. It resonated very loudly with me as that is what I have needed and with so many outside factors occurring was not able to fully embrace or choose to fill my needs. I was too busy servicing everyone else's needs and wants while ignoring mine. Drama makes me crazy. We all have to find out what 'we' need to be sane and fill that need and nurture ourselves. I am responsible for me! It is my job!

The woman my ex-husband married onve said to me that she had created a serene life for herself by intention. It stuck with me. She is far wiser than he is .LOL

Now I don't have to go out looking for something-"friends" or whatever. I am happy in my place with all my interests right here-nurturing my own soul. Just another aspect of the freedon from the endless seeking that is alcohol addiction-always looking for something to close the circle of a life spent going round and round.

Her thoughts can compliment RC's post about not going into the water, but floating on top of it.

I have learned that if the AL quit or any other life change we decide to take on is based on something outside of ourselves, when it becomes unstable and it will, you become unstable. You have to build your house on a stable foundation. The outside factors will eventually disappoint you; so your journey has to be based internally for you. That's something you can control. you can't control what others do or don't do. I made this quote many years ago. "Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment." We know as AL abusers where disappointment can lead. Take inventory on your expectations. Are they realistic? Are they based on someone else? Are they based on something within your control?

Oneredshoe, lol on the hair. Boy have I been there!!!!! That red or brassy color we get because of our natural hair pigments. I have Irish in me and was born blond, so as my hair has darkened over the years, I've run into that red tone. In fact I'm working with it right now. Here's a story for the AL books and the impulsiveness that comes when we are frustrated or down. One time, I had been drinking in a down mood and down on myself. Well, I wound up cutting my own longer blonde hair and dying it BLACK! Yeah, black! The faces of my daughter and her boyfriend were priceless when she came home, so was the shock I felt when I woke up the next day. In time I actually got a sassy new cut and liked the black, but the day after...oh boy! I don't know how to cut hair. I am now working to get it back to blonde or at least a light brown with blonde highlights. At least we can laugh at ourselves. That is a valuable gift to carry with you.

I feel for your situation. We all have those circumstances that make quitting difficult; however, if it is for YOU, his behavior will be separated out from that and dealt with through a clearer mind with time. I'm wondering if you have a room you can put a lock on the door and stay in with your pup? Somewhere in the home the two of you arrange while he is sober where you can have space?/>
Perse, I will be working that concept into my mental healing more now. Yes, indeed, behind so much drama. Drama is a big trigger for me. I am cleaning it out of my life and those who want to constantly surround me with it. It shatters my inner peace and nerves.

Lolab, AL is everywhere. As I stated yesterday they even have an endcap by the makeup, personal care and pharmacy area. Geeze! It's even in a vampire show I watch. EVERYWHERE!!! It pops out like a sore thumb now that we are sober or for those trying to get and stay sober. I think it just makes me dislike it even more and recognize it for what it is.

I hope everyone stays strong today. I'm off shortly to do my yoga. Replace the void of AL with other healthy things. You start feeling good and it helps to get your mind thinking I don't want to feel unhealthy or go back to my old ways. This is so much better.

:l:h

Love,

Slay

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

I am not giving up. I felt too good for 12 days. I want to slink away in shame but you will have to put up with me even through slips .... Thanks

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Ican-
Please do NOT slink away, we love having you here! I wouldn't be here if I disappeared because of slips. I had MANY. You only fail when you quit trying. You've made it up a few flights of stairs, just because you stumbled, don't go back down to the bottom. Dust yourself off and pick up where you left off. We believe in you!

[Dayum]

Newbies Nest

I stumbled upon this website today while trying to find out if I "qualify" as an alcoholic.... that might sound stupid because well, it is! If you have to research such a thing its pretty clear, well anyway.

Just wanted to post hello to you all as these posts have really effected me today and made me believe that maybe there really IS away out.

Oh and Ican... I went 12 days myself a few weeks ago and relapsed very hard again. You're right not to give up because your courage, your post, made me want to try again, so thank you.

day 1

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Just home after taking my dad and mum out visiting - now I feel awful about my earlier post, moaning, which, believe it or not, I don't normally do. Just some things have built up but, like Byrdie says, I can and will deal with it, one at a time......
Went first to visit my old aunt who has just been diagnosed with cancer, then another very sick relative of dads. Him and his 2 daughters all have cancer. They were all good craic and upbeat and here was me having a 'woe is me' day! So, please ignore my earlier post - I think that this afternoon was the kick in the arse required for changing the mindset and pulling out the good!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon all,
Sun is shining and it is a good day...day 9 to be exact...starting to feel much better and more clear headed. Much to do today and tomorrow but I will read and post as it keeps me grounded...
Dotttie