Newbies Nest

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hey Ican,

That's what we are here for! Believe me, you are not the first to have to start over. Many of us have had to do it numerous times. I spent years relapsing and now I have 86 days today. All we can do is keep trying. Eventually it will stick.

I have found My Way Out to be a wonderful place, where there is always someone around to listen and help when we are struggling, offering support, encouragement and friendship when we need it. You don't have to struggle alone. Stay close and keep posting. We have all been there and know how hard it is to get and stay sober.

There are also many resourses available here, books, cds, feedback on meds, supplements, diet and vitamins, and strategies that are working for others. You just have to find what works best for you. Don't despair. Many people here are finding their way out. Check in as much as you need to. We are here to help. Hugs!

Hang in there New Day, the first week is the hardest. Stay close and let us know how you are doing. It's easier when you do this with others who are fighting the same battle. We are all in this together and want to offer our friendship, support and encouragement to you. It's easy to slip into isolation, depression and hopelessness when we try to do it alone. You now have us fighting along with you.

Runningbird, you are doing great! Keep checking in. It helps to stay close during the early days of a quit. We are here for you.

DD, it sound like you are hanging tough, working on building that psychological force field.

Hey, Slay. The liquor is certainly everywhere! Or maybe it's all we notice, being alkies. I liked that idea of a serene inner life by intention. How I wish I could achieve it. So tired of my life being buffeted constantly by the drama being imposed upon it by others. We are always torn, especially if we are kind souls, between doing what's good for us and being there for others. So many times I want to be left alone, but then, feel guilty not to jump in and help others when I am able to. Saying no to someone in need is the hardest thing.......we tend to want to take on everyone's problems and help to make them better. A lot of times while the other person does zilch! I need to learn when something is not my problem.

Hello to Byrdie and Star. Hope I didn't miss anyone while I was posting. Everyone have a great day. Stay close and stay strong. Being AL free is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves today. Hugs to all!

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hey k9, I love your 'stairs' analogy. So much more positive and encouraging. You have so many words of wisdom which have resonated with me. This one especially. I think it will help many discouraged newcomers.

Welcome Dayum! So glad you found us. This is truly such a wonderful place. It will be much easier to fight this battle with the friends you will make here. So glad you joined us. We look forward to getting to know you!

Dottie and Daisy, you both sound very positive today. So good to hear from both of you!

[rednose]

Newbies Nest

Day 1 once again

Here I am starting over at day one once again. I got rip roaring drunk on gin last night and don't remember most of the evening. Why do I think that is fun or good for me?

Alcohol has a strong hold on me and I need to get off of the booze and stay off it for good.
I know it is not going to be easy. I had 16 good days and then I f--ked them up.
So here I am again with my tail between my legs but I got to make it through today first.

I had big plans to go to the gym today but that was
Before drink one. Now I am laying in bed feeling
Like shit. What a waste.
Thank you all

rednose :upset:

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

rednose;1469000 wrote: Here I am starting over at day one once again. I got rip roaring drunk on gin last night and don't remember most of the evening. Why do I think that is fun or good for me?

Alcohol has a strong hold on me and I need to get off of the booze and stay off it for good.
I know it is not going to be easy. I had 16 good days and then I f--ked them up.
So here I am again with my tail between my legs but I got to make it through today first.

Thank you all

rednose :upset:

WELCOME BACK!!!
WE MISSED YOU!!!!
UNTUCK YOUR TAIL AND DO THIS!!!!

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Friends,

I had a busy weekend and I was only able to read and not have enough time to post. Looking to remedy that...

Hey Ican, I truly hope you don't slink away, it is very sad when that happens. You know people here really care about you because they've gone through it too. Please take a cold eyed look at your plan and try to figure out how to make it stronger. We all deserve to feel that good as you did for your twelve days. The real you, the one that wants you to stay here and be accountable is the voice to listen to.

Elliesmom, I can sympathize with you about not being completely in tune with your partner...One of my many faults is wishing my wife was psychic and I wouldn't have to tell her stuff. I keep having to relearn that one...Just wanted to say that that part resonates with me!

Welcome Dayum, yes, there is a way out, and the grass on the other side really is greener. I hope you stick with us! When I started posting here, I was just blown away by repeatedly "finding" myself in the stories other people were posting here.

Hi Daisy, I'm glad you posted all that stuff. We are just human, right? Being sober doesn't magically transform us into Mother Theresa, although it is almost certainly a step in that general direction for people like us. The ability to be deeply affected by a change in our perspective is one of the benefits of AF life.

Have a great AF day, friends.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1468934 wrote: I am not giving up. I felt too good for 12 days. I want to slink away in shame but you will have to put up with me even through slips .... Thanks

Not a prob. It has taken me 4 re-starts to get to where I am now -- 100% resolved to keep this good thing going. You can do it, too!

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hey Rednose. Welcome back! I love K9's analogy about a slip: you made it up the stairs to a certain point and then stumbled. Just dust yourself off and keep going. If you were on real stairs, you wouldn't go back down to the first step and start over, you would get up and keep going. I much prefer that way (the common sense way) of looking at it. So much more positive and encouraging. Stay close and let us help you through the difficult early days of starting over. There are lots of others here, either starting or starting over, or I should say, continuing on. You are not alone. Glad you are back right away, instead of disappearing and finding yourself more isolated, depressed and hopeless. We all love you and are here for you. Welcome back!

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

Reading all these posts helps a lot newbies nest I am a new member here I have been drinking non stop for a week now of hard liquor to try to numb the pain of a breakup
she walked out on me . I don't know if I am wrong but she was going out at night more and more and then one night a good friend of hers boyfriend called to see what she was doing and I thought it was odd that he would call her like that and things escalated to a whole day of arguments. I finally asked her how many men have you been with to try to get her mad like she was doing to me
she walked out and have not heard from her in a week.

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Bobbyslife! Few things are more painful than a relationship breakup. And to have to deal with alcohol withdrawals or a hangover on top of it.......

Try to deal with just one thing at a time: getting yourself feeling well and clear headed. You will then be in a position to better deal with everything else. If you are able, try to drink lots of water (with lots fresh lemon juice squeezed in, if you can) It is good for the liver and re-hydrates you, too. Try to eat some nutritious food, even if it's just a peanut butter sandwich and a banana, or some orange juice. Just try to rest and take care of yourself.

Stay close and post with us about how you are feeling and what is going on with you. That way you won't feel so isolated and alone. We are here for you. You don't have to feel alone. Someone is always around here to respond to you. Read back a bit and get to know us. You will find lots of support here and you will make new friends. We want to help. Alcohol will just make you feel worse about yourself and make it harder to deal with everything. Has alcohol been a problem in your relationship or just a recent coping mechanism?

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

I did drink moderately and socially both of us things were getting worse with us a month ago that's when I switched from beer to hard liquor. I have this feeling in my head that all I want is the pain to go away and go get another bottle of rum. It started with one of her good friends boyfriends happened to call her and really talk about nothing. that's what started it all.
I thank you and everyones help

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Dayum and Bobbyslife! I'm sorry that you are on this journey, but rest assured, you have found a place that can help you get out of this rabbit hole! Every single one of us have been on Day 1 and we know what you are feeling. When I got here I was scared and didn't know how I was gonna go 1 day without AL, let alone give it up for good (unheard of!) but somehow I did it. Well, not somehow...I did it with a plan that I got from here...I did it step by step with folks in the same boat.

Dayum, I think most all us qualify as Alcoholics, a rose is a rose is a rose....whatever you want to call problems caused by Alcohol....but on this site is the only place I use that word. If you can acknowledge it instead of resisting it like I did, the sooner you can fix it. After all, how can you fix what you won't acknowledge? The point is, if AL is leading you around by the short hairs, you are prolly one of us. This is not all bad news!!! I am 150% happier now than I ever was drinking! I was either thinking about it, doing it, or recovering from it. Rinse and Repeat.

Take a long look in the Tool Box (link below) and you will find 100's of tips and coping skills to help you. Just a couple thoughts to get you started on your Day 1's....get all the AL out of your space! Yes, all of it. No, you don't need a safety net. Safety nets are for when people plan to fail, but you are going to succeed! Surround yourself with things you love to eat...and do! You will find that you have a lot of time to fill. Distract yourself with these things you enjoy. EAT!!! We are so used to drinking our calories...the best way to fight a craving is to eat! Remember those times you've said, I can't hold another bite? That kind of full! Next is to get your story down about why you aren't drinking. One moment's hesitation can cost you your quit. Say you are detoxing, or on medication, or giving it up for Lent or made a bet with friends, whatever....get your story down and stick with it. When you have a thought about drinking, change the subject in your head. Immediately, don't go down the rabbit hole with your thinking! Name off your cousins, or recite the Pledge of Allegience or do the multiplication tables...anything to stop that course of thought! If all else fails, stop what you're doing and go to the bathroom! Do whatever it takes to get thru this day!

We are so glad you found us....buckle up and tell us what's going on. Read and post!! It's the best medicine! Byrdie

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Hey Dayum and Bobbyslife. It is clear you are not alone on day one. There are many others that have joined us in the last few days. And lots of caring Nest Mothers here, like Byrdie, Lavande, Lolab, Kuya and K9, to keep you safe in the nest and help you through the early difficult days. It is hard to stay sober when you are alone and in pain. God knows, we've all been there!

After hydrating and eating some nutritious food, distraction is another strategy mentioned by Byrdie. I found myself one evening, feeling the overwhelming urge for a drink. Instead, I found a thread under "General Discussion', (page 2): 'You know you're an alcoholic when....' Talk about interesting reading! It not only filled an empty, otherwise depressing evening, but I found myself laughing, crying and shaking my head. I read it from the beginning to the end. It not only filled my evening and kept me from moping, it sure kept me from going out for that drink!

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

byrdlady thank you for your post
really this is all I have. I feel ashamed to talk to anyone about it since it was personal and she knows a lot of the people I know. the cravings to go and buy another bottle is overwhelming. I thought at 35 I could handle this. I have been reading some good posts and have avoivded people just because I rarely have an appetite to eat due to all the drinking I been doing.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Bobby, Kuya says that we have to train ourselves to eat again!! We drink our hunger away (and everything else) so we have to relearn how to do it. KUYA WHERE ARE YOU???

Almost free, great suggestion.....I will try and find that thread, "you know you're an alcoholic when......" and bump it up so it shows up under new posts. Also, read back on this thread and you will learn a TON! Many of us had no other support system except this place here and we've done GREAT! (of course additional help woulda been nice, but it is what it is...). Keep reading! Byrdie

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Poor Kuya needs a break. She'll be back when she can. Until then we need to muddle through