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    Newbies Nest

    Star, just want to say congratulations! How fitting for someone who has mooned so many to get the first ever pair of flying drawers! You are a champ!
    "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
    AF 11/12/11

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      Newbies Nest

      Made it thru day three.

      Hi hang. Sorry have not been on much today but been
      Exercising and getting work done.
      Exercise is really helping me bring AF

      Tired her with two dogs on the bed.

      I love how much love I get from my dogs.

      Rednose.:thanks:
      All things in time if I am Alcohol free

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        Newbies Nest

        rednose;1470518 wrote: Hi hang. Sorry have not been on much today but been
        Exercising and getting work done.
        Exercise is really helping me bring AF

        Tired her with two dogs on the bed.

        I love how much love I get from my dogs.

        Rednose.:thanks:
        You are treating yourself with love again, too! I am so glad you are back in the nest, Rednose.
        I'm not sure how long we need to stay here to stay away from AL. Maybe forever .

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          Newbies Nest

          flying underwear??!!

          Persephone - Thank you for the exercising elephant I love it. I am going to put it in the middle of the living room and see if anyone notices:H

          Byrdlady - Flying underwear!!!!! Okay I have all the inspiration I need. I now have flying underwear envy - but realize they can only be earned by daily slaying the evil AL

          Star congratulations! Hurrah!!

          You guys I am so happy you have let me in the nest.
          Thank you , Thank you, Thank you

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            Newbies Nest

            Help me figure this one out

            I ride an express bus home from downtown to a remote upscale suburb park and ride.
            The folks riding this bus are carrying computer bags, wearing earbuds, reading kindles and looking at smartphones. They always thank the bus driver and rarely speak to each other.

            Today a woman with no coat poorly fitting clothing and no bus fare got on the bus, she was so inebriated she could not speak properly.

            The young bus driver queried her - worried that she would end up far from city and disoriented. At the last stop in town the bus driver had a security guard query the woman who could barely speak but insisted this was the bus she wanted. The bus riders made a concerted attempt to ignore the situation, other than standing to make a seat for the woman.

            Here is the question..... why....why...did this give me an urge to go home and drink!!!???:egad:

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              Newbies Nest

              rb, that's so sad. I have no idea why that would make you want to drink.
              Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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                Newbies Nest

                I know - I thought it was very sad, I was sad for the lady. She had passed out buy the time got to the park and ride. I asked the driver if she needed help and she said she had already called 911.

                When I tried to remove myself from myself and see it objectively I felt as though I could see AL unmasked - not looking like a tall iced flute of champagne anymore. I thought the fact that it made me want to drink was so revealing of the ugliness of AL. When I see the people downtown I NEVER want to drink - it was So strange today.

                It was also not a craving - just a mild urge.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  RB, such a sad story. Sometimes if we encounter someone who mirrors our own deepest fears about ourselves it can literally "jar" our psyche. It may seem counter-intuitive to want to drink after seeing someone so inebriated but this experience may have triggered some painful feelings or memories (I am not sure of your family history). If anxiety or pain is a trigger for you (which it likely is for most of us) then it might explain your urge.

                  Hugs, LJ

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Wow, Interesting - that makes me think - escape is my biggest love with AL -banishing worry and fear and tension=

                    When I first started riding that bus it was a bit intimidating - everyone checking out everyone else's coats and purses and shoes and hair. How fast you scan your riding card - how swift and sure and cool you are

                    - and here was this lady who didn't care at all what people thought - wasn't afraid of the guards didn't care that she had no bus fare -I think some strange sick part of me might have envied her oblivion... it makes no sense.

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Good evening Nesters, congrats Star 150 so totally awesome!
                      Bobby hang in there!
                      Welcome all newbies this is a great place!
                      Just got back from another win (baseball) we're 7-0 on the season still no beers before during or after the games this is so weird but wonderful!
                      Thanks guys Take care! j

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                        Newbies Nest

                        runningbird;1470548 wrote: I think some strange sick part of me might have envied her oblivion... it makes no sense.
                        Interesting, indeed. I think you may have just answered your own question. It does make sense. An urge is usually a subconscious response--her obliviousness may have appealed to your own "itch" to remain oblivious.

                        Okay, sorry! I was just in the dream thread pondering DD's interpretation of my dream, so I'm in the mode. Please tell me to butt out if I am being an armchair psychologist, LOL.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          ljeaner, No. no. no I welcome your input. Thank you thank you - who else in my life could I ever share such awful thoughts and be answered with interest and care!

                          Great job jIMMYDAMA!! hey is your game better without AL? - you sure asre having a lot of wins!

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Morning everybody; well, I didn't drink last night and I can't tell you how close a call it was!!! The decision was made, it was just when I was going to sneak it in.....I hadn't eaten dinner and wasn't hungry, so just in case I ate a massive plate of curry, then I was overwhelmed with tiredness.....then, thought about drinking and questioned myself seriously about what it would do for me....went to bed!
                            I am so happy this morning; how different this morning would have been - back to day 1, feeling like crap, feeling like a failure, like I'd lost hope.
                            Last night was probably the toughest since day 1. HALT was on my mind and worked! I was so far gone I didn't think it would but I did it anyway.....a big lesson learned. Hope this will help someone here who may doubt...they say sometimes hunger can be mistaken for a drink craving....so eat!
                            Up at 6.30am and made a big pot of stew. Taking my mum and dad on a 200mile round trip to visit my sister today. My dad is doing so well - hard to believe - I think since he found out they are no longer treating his cancer, that he has found some sort of peace.....making the most of our time...
                            Have a great day all - will check in tonight!
                            IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                            Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Good morning to all. Yesterday I had promised that I would check in and give everyone an update. As I had said yesterday, I was MIA last week due to work travel. Before I left on my trip I was completely freaked out. And I mean completely! Usually work travel is a free pass to drink whatever the hell I want and worry about the consequences later. Since I am in the weak stages of depression and drinking, I was certain I would fail. And fail I did... but not in the way I expected.

                              So the bad news... as of today I am back to Day 4 since I did give in and drink while I was with my colleagues. The good news... I did not binge drink ONE SINGLE EVENING!!! Maybe this sounds like a huge failure, and maybe it is, but I am so very proud of myself. I am usually the crazy binge drinker that has to be carried to her hotel room. Instead, I was the one taking care of other drunk colleagues. Somehow, and I don't know how, I managed to keep my cool and pace myself under all circumstances (even while out at a club with some of my younger colleagues). I would limit myself to only a few drinks and drink water in between wherever I could. I have to say that being one of the more sober people in the group gave me the opportunity to watch what was going on around me, I was amazed what AL did to my colleagues. I have not been "the sober one" in the group in a very, very long time. I witnessed crazy conversations, passing out at dinner, almost passing out in the hotel pool... etc. Of course I did not mind helping my colleagues that needed help, but all I could think of was... "what if i was not there, what would happen to this person"??? Scary. So scary. Suddenly my motivation to drink is not as high as it was. Of course I still crave. I was craving badly yesterday evening (always seems to happen at 4pm), but all I had to do was think back to last week and will myself NOT TO GIVE IN. I don't know if this new perspective will stick but I'm really hoping it does.

                              Has anyone ever had a similar experience? Where you come into a situation or witness and experience and that really effects your thinking?

                              I just hope and pray that I truly will keep this piece of perspective and not fall back into my old habits. I want to be one of the strong senior MWO members that helps others rather than constantly asking for help.

                              I hope all of you are well and please know that I was thinking of everyone last week. Please take care of yourselves!
                              Would you like you, if you met you?

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Good job MS- that's a tough experience. Glad you were there to help others and see what AL dies to them.
                                I'm posting early so I will be accountable tonight as I drank last night.
                                So, when I get in bed tonight I'll have 21/28 sober Feb days
                                My goal is 30 in March!

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