Newbies Nest

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

You are right, and he said he wanted to tell me earlier, I am afraid to ask him more since I don't want to know about a woman of 5 years just leaving over what I think is that? maybe the woman on here can tell me what I did wrong. I am really just trying to think of anything else that was out of the normal. I don't know if it is better that I know , as in asking him more about what he saw, since that would shift my mood and go right to my head and want that drink to numb the mental pain. thank you everyone for all your help.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Good BOBIESLIFE - getting deeper. Good job. let it all out. tell us. we won't have any disrespect for you. keep talking. we are here (not all at the same time....ha ha) but hang with us and tell the deeper stuff that buggs you. seriously.
-S-

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

So many great posts....couldn't possibly respond to all of them.
I am very tired today which is, as we know from HALT, a dangerous thing. In the car on the way home I had the urge to stop and get a bottle of wine to unwind and "check out" But then I kept thinking it through. I would go to the store and buy the bottle feeling like crap already in that I would be letting defeat settle in. I would go home, open the bottle and drink the first glass very slowly (this is all based on past experience). Then there would be a click in my head and within 1.5 hours, the bottle would be empty. I would be slurring my words, I would not want to talk to anyone, I might go outside for a smoke only to fall and get bruised. I would pass out on the couch until maybe 11:30. Then I would drag myself to bed only to wake up again at 1am with the sugar and wine keeping me awake probably for around 2 or 3 hours. I would doze for the rest of the night and then wake up hungover and feeling like crap. Then I would EAT crap and gain weight.

WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT?????? What would be accomplished? How would my day go tomorrow? Would I be happy? NO

I am painfully aware of how alcohol can destroy a life. My father hid bottles in our yard and drank all day long. He eventually left (without a word at first) leaving my mom and me to fend for ourselves financially for a while. He was in and out of Hazelton (best rehab in country) Then he was fired from his job. At the end, he was incontinent....shitting and pissing his pants uncontrollably. Several DUIs, couple of stints in jail for it, unable to function at all. At 56, he developed varicose veins in his esophagus as a direct and only result of drinking so much. The veins burst and he bled to death internally (plus vomited blood for hours before dying).....Even after all of that, I drank....I "got off the bus" early and I am grateful for that ....I had the insight and I got deep down honest with myself....If I didn't stop, I would die just like my dad. That is the reality of alcohol. My god, I am only 7 years younger than my father was when he died....
Don't underestimate the power of this drug.

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

I have tried that one time, I said " you have shown your true colors" then her new friend gets on saying all this im going to do this to you and that, so I guess they are an item , who would say this for someone if they didn't want to prove something for them or something in that sort. As far as deeper, I think I get it now. I am just hurt since I cared loved and provided for her and just trying to find that error in our relashionship. Just wish she could have talked about what was bothering her before doing this too me.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Day 4

Thanks to all of you for your support, encouragement and your willingness to share your pain on this board. It has been so useful for me this week, as I'm ending Day 4. Have been eating very nutritiously all week - (is that spelled right?) tonight I bought an enormous bag of caramel/cheese popcorn and I'm going to stuff my face in front of the TV! Hoping I don't go into a sugar/preservative coma.
Happy Last Day of February (except for Oz - Happy First Day of March!!!!)

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

[QUOTE=jenniech;1470861]So many great posts....couldn't possibly respond to all of them.
I am very tired today which is, as we know from HALT, a dangerous thing. In the car on the way home I had the
WHERE

Jrnni - i am so sorry-you had to go through that. whimper. honey.
-S-

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I'm strong, Welcome! We are so happy for your 4 big days! Is this your first quit? Be sure to take a stroll thru the Tool Box (link below) it's chocked full of great ideas to help you thru. It is an amazing body of work, really. We are so glad you found us...I think our experience and personal care here is second to none! (but I'm biased). Byrdie

[daisy45]

Newbies Nest

Strong and in Control; you are living up to your forum name - keep it up!!!! My family like the saying 'large and in charge!' I hope I live up to that!
Hope you enjoy your indulgent, stuff-your-face night! I find I am eating more since being AF; I think I saved the calories for the wine before....
And so well done on day 4!

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

BOBBIESLIFE - getting deeper, i mean deeper into you, not the girl and the guy. Tell us about YOU. OK? Who are YOU. What do YOU like. What do you want us to know about YOU? Leave others out of the picture/ discription. Lets us know YOU. OK?
-S-

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mein...I am curious...did you go to your meeting with the intention of drinking or did you fall after you got there? This information is critical to us...to learn that we blow our quits long before they are blown. Like Daisy's byline says. I am curious, what got you? You can also tell me to pound sand and it's none of my business! If your answer helps one person then it's a good thing. Glad you are home! Byrdie

[Maibaby]

Newbies Nest

jenniech,
You are very brave ...I have a lot of respect for you...I did have that bottle last night....scared if I get off the computer I will run down the road to the alc shop!!!!
bobbyslife,
Of course you are hurt...you sound like a lovely person and you sound a bit bewildered....you are looking at what did you do wrong ....you are trying to find fault with yourself...why are you trying to find fault with yourself....as you say she could have talked to you...but you are looking at you doing the wrong thing...there is wrong on both sides of any relationship...you already have worked out you need someone to be honest and talk rather than run and flee....that is a good thing can you see....dont worry about the details just know that is one positive thing ....alot of "adults" don't want a talking relationship just a controlling one...you are ahead of alot of people already
Maibaby

[Maibaby]

Newbies Nest

the last straw,
You are fabulous....love your thinking
Maibaby

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

MAIBABY thanks for the respond.

Many here on the nest have really really really really good thinking willing to impart.

Stick here. Check the tool box. (really helps)

-S-

[Maibaby]

Newbies Nest

the last straw,
Where do I find it?
Maibaby

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

I think the best tool was looking forward (fast forward) to the things which will occur as a result of our drinking, or using, however one wants to call it.

I have been really busy at work, catching up on the way I have fallen off lately (up to 3 weeks ago) but glad I have a forgiving boss....ME, yep, I am the boss, I pay myself.

So I am busy getting my company back on track....difficult 'cuz I was an ALC, BAD AL. GET OUT AL.

-S-