Newbies Nest
Good morning Nesters !
You are all doing so well, it is amazing what supporting one another can achieve.
I have another heavy week to face, but will be back posting soon.
Just wanted to pop in for Slay and NS
Slay..... Whatever happens with that man, you are done. No way can you end up carrying him. Men like him quickly find someone else to feed off. TRY to forget he exists.
No Sugar...... Now you are a little further along moods go in waves of days rather than hours. When you are on a down wave we find a hook to hang the feelings on.......then the up wave comes and we are fine again. All that is happening is the brain repairing.
Think of recovery like renovating a VERY dilapidated house. When you first quit the house, your body, is still functioning but a mess. Taps are leaking, walls peeling, doors hanging off their hinges. For some the house is near derelict and must be demolished. When you quit you go in and gut the house. It is exciting, you are energised at the dreams of how that house will be when it is finished. You have visions of the future, for us alcoholics we envision ourselves fit and slim and happy and everything is perfect.
At the beginning of the renovation we are stripping out the bad, light and air is let back into the house. We can get advice from people who have experience, from MWO, AA, Smart recovery etc. BUT no one else can build it for you, it is for YOU, not your family or spouse.
If there was a lot of damage there can come a moment when it all looks overwhelming. We feel like we have taken on too much. This is common during and at 30 days. Then we start to build, some weeks go well and some are frustrating and boring even. A room comes together....joy! The next week another area just won't come right, the cost seems too great, you are tired because of your day job, family, LIFE! You sometimes wish you had NEVER started.....after all the old house was functioning, wasn't it ? You may toy with giving up, but that is worse because you now know what could have been.
If you stick at it, your house will come together, slower than someone else's, maybe, but always improving, bit by bit, room by room. You will have weeks of fatigue, weeks of joy. If you stick at it you will have a brand new house, you will be so proud, neighbours will admire your efforts and the results ( some, however, may be jealous and some will try to sabotage your progress). YOUR house may be large and grandiose or a smaller cute cottage......but it all yours, YOU built it and can enjoy entertaining guests, although not all of them may be welcome back.
Just like a renovation you must stick it out even if you hit delays, fatigue, and changes to the original vision. Maybe you didn't get fit, lose weight, save your marriage etc.but your new house will be safe, warm and bring you joy. A place from which you can venture into the world knowing there is a haven at the end of each day.......not the old wreck you just wanted to get away from with alcohol.
But if you let alcohol back in, it is like taking a wrecking ball to that new house. You may have some good bits to salvage. The blueprint is still there, but you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN.
My house is nearly complete, it is weathertight, built on the solid ground of acceptance that the old house was NOT salvageable. There is still some painting, and internal fixtures and decor to finish. Just like a real house it will undergo makeovers from time to time........but I would be a damned fool to wreck this one, I may never have the strength to rebuild.
Good morning Nesters !
You are all doing so well, it is amazing what supporting one another can achieve.
I have another heavy week to face, but will be back posting soon.
Just wanted to pop in for Slay and NS
Slay..... Whatever happens with that man, you are done. No way can you end up carrying him. Men like him quickly find someone else to feed off. TRY to forget he exists.
No Sugar...... Now you are a little further along moods go in waves of days rather than hours. When you are on a down wave we find a hook to hang the feelings on.......then the up wave comes and we are fine again. All that is happening is the brain repairing.
Think of recovery like renovating a VERY dilapidated house. When you first quit the house, your body, is still functioning but a mess. Taps are leaking, walls peeling, doors hanging off their hinges. For some the house is near derelict and must be demolished. When you quit you go in and gut the house. It is exciting, you are energised at the dreams of how that house will be when it is finished. You have visions of the future, for us alcoholics we envision ourselves fit and slim and happy and everything is perfect.
At the beginning of the renovation we are stripping out the bad, light and air is let back into the house. We can get advice from people who have experience, from MWO, AA, Smart recovery etc. BUT no one else can build it for you, it is for YOU, not your family or spouse.
If there was a lot of damage there can come a moment when it all looks overwhelming. We feel like we have taken on too much. This is common during and at 30 days. Then we start to build, some weeks go well and some are frustrating and boring even. A room comes together....joy! The next week another area just won't come right, the cost seems too great, you are tired because of your day job, family, LIFE! You sometimes wish you had NEVER started.....after all the old house was functioning, wasn't it ? You may toy with giving up, but that is worse because you now know what could have been.
If you stick at it, your house will come together, slower than someone else's, maybe, but always improving, bit by bit, room by room. You will have weeks of fatigue, weeks of joy. If you stick at it you will have a brand new house, you will be so proud, neighbours will admire your efforts and the results ( some, however, may be jealous and some will try to sabotage your progress). YOUR house may be large and grandiose or a smaller cute cottage......but it all yours, YOU built it and can enjoy entertaining guests, although not all of them may be welcome back.
Just like a renovation you must stick it out even if you hit delays, fatigue, and changes to the original vision. Maybe you didn't get fit, lose weight, save your marriage etc.but your new house will be safe, warm and bring you joy. A place from which you can venture into the world knowing there is a haven at the end of each day.......not the old wreck you just wanted to get away from with alcohol.
But if you let alcohol back in, it is like taking a wrecking ball to that new house. You may have some good bits to salvage. The blueprint is still there, but you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN.
My house is nearly complete, it is weathertight, built on the solid ground of acceptance that the old house was NOT salvageable. There is still some painting, and internal fixtures and decor to finish. Just like a real house it will undergo makeovers from time to time........but I would be a damned fool to wreck this one, I may never have the strength to rebuild.
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