Newbies Nest

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Good Sunday Morning Friends, Wow is an understatement things are really rocking along in the nest. I'll never catch up. Been busy at work and with my kids athletics. I think everyone in my town is Federally assisted in some way or another. I'm very blessed and glad they chose to do business with me but everyone gets a check on the same day, and overwhelms my staff.

Really love the rule 8 and 8b !!!
8. Forgive yourself - the past can't be changed but the sober you can live your best possible life beginning now. I was told by a wonderful person here on MWO that 'the person you will be NEEDED this addiction'. I can see fleeting glimpses... The failures and struggles are humbling me and as I work through the addiction and careening emotions, I can feel myself softening and becoming more tolerant and compassionate. I'm looking forward to being the New Me --- she is going to be much more fun and loving than the old one!
8B. Forgive yourself even if you don't know why you did this/why it happened to you; even when you don't know whether you played an active (did it) or passive (happened) role. It doesn't matter now because you are not going to do it or let it happen to you again.

Just finished the book healing damaged emotions, Forgiveness is a major theme and I too firmly believe that forgiveness is the key to beating the beast!

I get so encouraged reading about the care, teamwork and compassion here in the nest.
I do consider all of you friends and thanks for being here. My wife and kids are really coming around and I see sunshine, and a bright future as long as I continue to be AF.

Yes it is such a wonderful feeling to wake up Sat and Sun (every day now) unhung
I just (love that)

Welcome all newbies ( I'm one too this is a great place)!

D D thanks for taking the time to analyze my crazy dream, I appreciate it!

Mein thanks for thinking about me, didn't want to bug you about pics just yet
but it was coming :thanks:

Great ideas here will start copy and pasting tools and great posts to a workbook here on pad for quick reference thanks everyone!

Strawberries and lemons another great idea!

Have a great day, I'll check in later this evening:goodjob:

[columbia]

Newbies Nest

i really just love waking up to all of the nesters comments and words of encouragement... this summit is attainable for me..i feel it......i too am 52 (today in fact) and wonder why i have wasted all my years in a blurr of AL...........mid life has set in and I wish not to blur the next 40.......wish me luck guys and girls..............

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

columbia;1472062 wrote: i really just love waking up to all of the nesters comments and words of encouragement... this summit is attainable for me..i feel it......i too am 52 (today in fact) and wonder why i have wasted all my years in a blurr of AL...........mid life has set in and I wish not to blur the next 40.......wish me luck guys and girls..............

Well Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, HAAAPPPYYYY BIIIRRTTTHHHDDAAYY CCCOOOLLLUUMMBBBIIIAAAA, happy birthday to you! :bday3:

(That was cyber singing) :H:H:H

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations I'm Strong!

Either Byrdie or Star will be along to give you your full moon....Wow! Seven days. Way to go! Have you thought about jumping on the Newbie's Nest Roll Call? We check in every day and root each other on. It's also easier for Star not to miss anyone who deserves a prize. You just copy the last roll call post before yours, post it into yours, add your name and submit.

Happy Birthday Columbia! So glad you joined our nest! You are doing great!

Hey Nanette, Way to go on FOUR WHOLE MONTHS! You go girl!

Hello to everyone else in the Nest!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Whoa, Strong! You certainly can have a moon!' A FULL moon for a full seven days of kickin ALs arse tio the curb- where it belongs!!! Thanks for joining us here in the nest We are very proud of you!! :moon: keep up the great work, Strong!!!

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1472005 wrote: Hi, OneRed, We had quite a day yesterday in the Nest, didn't we? There were only a few of us in here but we sure were busy. And I enjoyed being with all of you!

Turns out that right now, Rule 8 is a work in progress. I need a rule that I can try to follow even though the control-freak part of me doesn't have all of the answers that enables it to relax and be quiet.

The good news is that the input from all of you on MWO is helping me develop this. So here is where it stands right now (I consider it a DRAFT because Final Rules need to be a less wordy - as do my posts!!! ):

8. Forgive yourself - the past can't be changed but the sober you can live your best possible life beginning now. I was told by a wonderful person here on MWO that 'the person you will be NEEDED this addiction'. I can see fleeting glimpses... The failures and struggles are humbling me and as I work through the addiction and careening emotions, I can feel myself softening and becoming more tolerant and compassionate. I'm looking forward to being the New Me --- she is going to be much more fun and loving than the old one!
8B. Forgive yourself even if you don't know why you did this/why it happened to you; even when you don't know whether you played an active (did it) or passive (happened) role. It doesn't matter now because you are not going to do it or let it happen to you again.

Well, it turns out I'm back on the straight, boring highway again today where I tend to think too much so look out nesters!!!! .... you saw here what happened last time... :H:H:H

Have a wonderful day, everyone.

Hey ya Nosugar.....we sure were busy yesterday. I loved every moment and aspect of yesterday; the inspiration, the wisdom, the sharing and the company. It was a lot of fun "hanging out" in cyber space yesterday. :H

I love that you have planted rule #8 (both) versions....now lets getting to cultivating it. (Farmer talk):H oh my gosh I have not idea where that came from. Too much caffeine perhaps. I will be checking in later.....you have a safe drive!

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Strong nice job on 7 days, keep it going!

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

Thanks to Guitarista/Toolbox

Newbies - My brother is home now from the hospital - he had stated he had hoped to die - and that being disabled by a stroke was not his plan. You have encourage me to reach out to my brother - something we do not do in my family - we do not speak the truth in my family - we make slanted jokes and speak in riddles - we always avoids the truth. We have assigned fictitious roles we must fulfill not matter how old we become. My Mother is the puppet master and my father the evil theater owner. Now my father has been dead for 2 years we still fulfill our roles and my mother still struggles to keep us from slipping out of role.

You have said on MWO to always tell the truth - do you know how terrifying this is - breaking all the rules?

But after the funeral of my daughter-in-law's dad yesterday - and with your encouragement - I took a dive off the high board and sent my brother some heart felt words of love and encouragement (NOT DONE in my family) with links to lifestyle changes.
In the toolbox Guitarista posted a long well written set of information on relapse prevention - Terence T. Gorski is the original author. Some words hit home like a jackhammer and I sen them to my brother:


we come from a dysfunctional family, we have probably internalized a dysfunctional set of core beliefs. We believe that the world is a painful and difficult place and at a core level, that we are pretty hopeless and that there is no hope and no way we can ever learn to enjoy life.

I'm a chemical engineer, I built my own home on a beautiful river in the foothills. I owe no one any money - have a fabulous job, run ultramarathons have 2 fabulous, happily married, well employed sons...and I still struggle daily with the thoughts " that the world is a painful and difficult place and at a core level, that I am pretty hopeless and that there is no hope and no way I can ever learn to enjoy life.

I am not writing this to ask for sympathy - today 9 days AL surrounded by wise caring supportive nesties, I am feeling pretty good. I am writing this because I believe the seeds of relapse are contained, for me - in these words and where they lie beneath my subconscious - when they may surface and then - hours or days later the oblivion I have, in the past - sought in AL - he false and deceptive release. I have NOT read Paradise Lost but think I will.

Thanks, Thanks, Thanks,
RB

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

RunningBird......just recognising that the core beliefs in your family are wrong is the beginning of healing and changing those beliefs.

I would prescribe a large dose of standup comedy to start to exorcise those beliefs. This type of humour is about facing the ridiculousness of taking everyday problems too seriously.

This is an excellent way to also challenge other core beliefs and 'isms' if you have them.






I would suggest this to nesters in general, as taking ourselves far too seriously is a common problem

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

Kuya - Great idea! Where does one get a dose of standup comedy? Does one need to go to a show downtown or can this be rented?

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

runningbird;1472114 wrote: Kuya - Great idea! Where does one get a dose of standup comedy? Does one need to go to a show downtown or can this be rented?

Everything you need is on YouTube ..... Have you any names or shall I compile a list ?

If you want a list I would need to know your limitations.....some of that stuff is close to the bone! :H

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

Standup Comedy

Kuya - THANK YOU! :thanks: I do need a list - perhaps a graded list? - Silly me I tend to be a bit sensitive to profanity, ethnic jokes - that type of thing.

I also have never listened to U-Tube but I will, on your recommendation give it a try. :crazymonkey:

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

A gamble won

I took a gamble breaking the family rules and speaking out to my brother about love and change. Just got his reply there was more but here is a quote:

"Thanks for the kind words. I love you too
Take care. I am going to win this game"

RB

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Some good stuff here over the weekend, Nesters. Lots of progress made on all fronts.

I hate that I am an ALK. But in a twisted way, it has made a lot of things better...yes, BETTER. I guess the saying 'You don't know what you got til it's gone' is so true. I took life for granted...muddling thru and then numbing up and dumbing down. Having gone thru this experience has given me a new lease on life. I have that second chance that so many don't get...what a fortunate day it was when I happened upon this site. For ME, writing things and having the benefit of people ahead of me and behind me just can't be topped. It's a shame that addiction takes so many people, but for those of us who fight back and get thru the other side...it is an amazing place to be. I am grateful every day I remain sober.

There are 4 major emotions that we have to deal with in our world:
Denial
Acceptance
Forgiveness
Gratitude

A simple enough list...but I imagine books could be written on each topic. Maybe those are the stages of recovery....I don't know, but they are repeated over and over here on this site. They take TIME to work thru. Give yourself time, and protect your quit at all costs. Consecutive days...just because you might have 15 days sober out of 30 isn't the same as having 15 consecutive days. To get rid of this beast, you gotta cut off the food supply. 15 consecutive days is 100 times easeir than 15 day 1's!!! Whatever day you are on, keep it going!

I'm so proud of everyone!! Keep up the good work...we have a couple hats going out this week, and I believe I see a pair of Flying Underwear getting warmed up, too. Stay strong everyone! Byrdie

[Jagman]

Newbies Nest

Day 6 nearly done. Just back from spending the day with my kids, what a difference when you don't have to 'hide' a hangover. I knackered my son out this week for a change playing football then took them all for a bike ride. I feel SO much better than this time last week.

Thanks everyone, this site has helped, I'd normally do a day or 2AF then back on it.
:thanks: