Newbies Nest

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

runningbird;1472126 wrote: I took a gamble breaking the family rules and speaking out to my brother about love and change. Just got his reply there was more but here is a quote:

"Thanks for the kind words. I love you too
Take care. I am going to win this game"

RB

Good for you Runningbird! Sometimes "rules" are meant to be broken! Please forgive me for asking, but is it unusual for your brother or others in your family to say "I love you" ? For if it is I would say that his response was well worth the courage it took you to break the "rules"

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

Onered, No need to ask forgiveness... yes, wise one - it is extremely unusual. I think this is the longest email I have ever had from my Brother - and by far the most heart felt... I also agree - not only was the gamble worth it - but just in the truth I shared and in my brother's response - it is the first time i ever broke the glass shell of the sacred family rules, it was very scary.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

runningbird;1472157 wrote: Onered, No need to ask forgiveness... yes, wise one - it is extremely unusual. I think this is the longest email I have ever had from my Brother - and by far the most heart felt... I also agree - not only was the gamble worth it - but just in the truth I shared and in my brother's response - it is the first time i ever broke the glass shell of the sacred family rules, it was very scary.

It is as they say ' show me the child of seven and I will show you the man'.

I recently said to another nester, EVERYTHING, good and bad, stems from childhood.

Forgiving one's parents is the passage to adulthood, no matter what age you are. Forgiving oneself marks wisdom.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

runningbird;1472157 wrote: Onered, No need to ask forgiveness... yes, wise one - it is extremely unusual. I think this is the longest email I have ever had from my Brother - and by far the most heart felt... I also agree - not only was the gamble worth it - but just in the truth I shared and in my brother's response - it is the first time i ever broke the glass shell of the sacred family rules, it was very scary.

I am so happy for you Runningbird. Keep me posted.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Jagman;1472146 wrote: Day 6 nearly done. Just back from spending the day with my kids, what a difference when you don't have to 'hide' a hangover. I knackered my son out this week for a change playing football then took them all for a bike ride. I feel SO much better than this time last week.

Thanks everyone, this site has helped, I'd normally do a day or 2AF then back on it.
:thanks:

I know what you mean...going more than a couple of days AF is a great thing to do.
-S-

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Denial
Acceptance
Forgiveness
Gratitude

Yes, these are the four biggest steps for recovery. I had denial but beat that one good. It took a while, but the denial is gone.

Acceptance: I think I am 85% there to be brutally honest. Maybe 90% I don't think I will be 100% until I have a lot more time. But if you were to ask me today if I accept the fact that I am an alcoholic, I would definitely answer yes.

Forgiveness: This one is going to need A LOT of work.

Gratitude: Comes in waves but the tide is coming in!!

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1472213 wrote: Denial
Acceptance
Forgiveness
Gratitude

Yes, these are the four biggest steps for recovery. I had denial but beat that one good. It took a while, but the denial is gone.

Acceptance: I think I am 85% there to be brutally honest. Maybe 90% I don't think I will be 100% until I have a lot more time. But if you were to ask me today if I accept the fact that I am an alcoholic, I would definitely answer yes.

Forgiveness: This one is going to need A LOT of work.

Gratitude: Comes in waves but the tide is coming in!!

yep, like that
-S-

[runningbird]

Newbies Nest

Band of Angels

I am such a one to isolate - Isolation has always been my way. I have tried to believe that I could in my isolation conjure the strength of many - How wrong I am. The strength you all have given me/shared with me is truly mind boggling - how - why?

I have about 4 hours of computer work I need to do this afternoon/evening - I do not want to do it - although it is not difficult, I just rebel against weekend working. True confession -

again - thank you - You are a band of angels.:angelgirl::angelgirl::angelgirl::angelgirl:

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

runningbird;1472219 wrote: I am such a one to isolate - Isolation has always been my way. I have tried to believe that I could in my isolation conjure the strength of many - How wrong I am. The strength you all have given me/shared with me is truly mind boggling - how - why?

I have about 4 hours of computer work I need to do this afternoon/evening - I do not want to do it - although it is not difficult, I just rebel against weekend working. True confession -

again - thank you - You are a band of angels.:angelgirl::angelgirl::angelgirl::angelgirl:

We drink firstly because we are alienated from our true selves and therefore feel isolated, then the alcohol causes further isolation and prevents us maturing.

ALL addiction is escape from self, not circumstances. We arrest our own maturity and because we lack maturity ordinary circumstances of life overwhelm us and it becomes a never ending cycle.

To stop this we must get sober THEN restart our maturation. The circumstances of our lives then become just LIFE.

[wobblehead]

Newbies Nest

Hello! I resonate with the isolation thing. Most of the time I'm sober but keep dipping my soul back into the abyss for some stupid reason. Not looking for sympathy or propping up. I know what I do, sick of what I do, don't think anyone could tell me how to do things differently. Guess I'm just intending to pop in now and again for some accountability.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1472213 wrote:
Forgiveness: This one is going to need A LOT of work!

in!!

See, Jennie, we are more than AF-start-time twins!!!

Some other nesters and I found and posted some good quotes about forgiveness this weekend that I'm trying to somehow integrate into my brain.

Here is what I think is weird: I think that if we met and poured out our stories to one another, you would be able to honestly tell me and I would honestly be able to tell you that the right thing to do is to forgive yourself and move forward without regrets (i.e. mature, as Kuya said.).
Why oh why is it so hard to do that for ourselves???

As you said, it is going to take a lot of work and like Byrd posted earlier today on this subject:
They take TIME to work thru. Give yourself time, and protect your quit at all costs.

So that's just what we and others here need to do. We've got to to be sure we can maintain this wonderful AF life.


NS

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters......just popping in to wish you all a good night in the nest (and Kuya....a good day). I too am tired of the isolation and want to break out of the walls I've built around me.
I'm hoping a good nights sleep will prepare me for a good day tomorrow .......and wishing you all the same too.
"Velcroed" onto my perch in the nest for a good night.

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

Just hating my life, I go back to work tomorrow , I talked to my boss and he said do not worry. I told him my situation. Thankfully I have been there since I was 17. As you all know my girlfriend of 5 years just left and is with a new person right away. Her new friend keeps trying to call my cell phone and house phone I picked up one time and don't choose not too. Yes I have been drinking I then thought what am I doing to myself. I put down the bottle last night, now I am having urges. I know if I go buy more alcohol it will numb this pain. I have no energy , I have been drinking this pain away. I need to get my self together and actually bathe and shave. I do thank you all for helping me with this and Just had the energy to get back online.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Sunday night is a triggar for me.

trying to make it 30 days this week.
-S-

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

is anyone here or not?