Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Noal....welcome back...be sure to hit the Tool Box (Link in my signature line below)...everything you need to know about this stuff is in there. Coping skills, stories, triumphs, how-tos. We are so glad you are here! B

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1472223 wrote: We drink firstly because we are alienated from our true selves and therefore feel isolated, then the alcohol causes further isolation and prevents us maturing.

ALL addiction is escape from self, not circumstances. We arrest our own maturity and because we lack maturity ordinary circumstances of life overwhelm us and it becomes a never ending cycle.

To stop this we must get sober THEN restart our maturation. The circumstances of our lives then become just LIFE.

This is soooooooooooo true! This belongs in the tool box with other comments about stalled maturity and the fact that we haven't been developing our coping skills. Before I disappeared into my curled ball for a few days, I had mentioned this concept to DD, I believe. I like the way you put it Kuya! (Nice to see you back, btw) When we choose to escape the problems with AL, we really do lose focus on the fact that problems are, indeed, just Life. I'm not dealing with my problem so well. For a bit of time I think I am and then I break down again. It's just an enormously unfair situation and I am really struggling to accept it and not have it tearing me apart inside. I think some of what we believe to be PAWS or just the cycle of becoming AF has to do with this inability to handle the stress of life. We haven't been using our coping muscles adequately. Granted, my losses right now are big ones, so how much of my curling up in a ball is my inability to deal with life straight up and how much is attributed to it being a very harsh situation? Not sure.

Not up to date here. I've been offline by choice in some instances, not able to get on the boards a few times (actually using a backdoor way right now), and I've come down with a bug this morning. It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is going to get a double barreled...Nevermind!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Friends-:l

We are starting the day (and the week) out with at least 2 full moons!!! How Awesome is that?

Today, Jagman is awarded the highly coveted full moon for achieving SEVEN DAYS of sobriety and I hear our own Mein S has already gone EIGHT DAYS- YOU GUYS ROCK!!!
You are standing up to the beast and fighting the good fight and WE ARE SO PROUD of you!!!!
So, Jag :moon:
Mein S :moon:

Carry on the great work!!

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

CONGRATULATIONS ELLIESMOM on your 30 days. That was such a moving post you wrote this morning. I'm so happy for you! :goodjob:
Onered.....I look forward to your 30 days tomorrow!

[Slaythefear]

Newbies Nest

Congrats on 30 days, Elliesmom!

:goodjob:

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Huge Congrats on THIRTY DAYS, Ellies!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for the "moon" Starfish, I love it! So happy to be here!

Elliesmom... thank you for sharing your story! As you said in your post, we can all relate in one way or another. I remember those feelings of "it's just over" and wanting to give up. So happy that you didn't and that you are working so hard at loving yourself! Very inspiring. I wish you the best in your continued journey!

[jIMMYDAMA]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters, day 29 been super busy at work and spending lots time with my family. Feeling really positive, and encouraged. Very thankful to be AF because I went on a rescue mission last night after I was about to go to bed. Had crazy reminders about why AL is such a bad idea. One of my friends called at 11:30 pm please help us there was a murder(really) at this bar and we don't have a vehicle, actually don't even know where it is! Had to go pick her up and her friend and bring them to her house to get other vehicle. they still don't know where the vehicle is parked or even how to get it.
They rode with third party to bar and police detained their ride as a witness to murder. When will people learn, the guy is arrested will go to Jail for a long time they said he was really drunk. Some family is grieving today because of senseless stupidity. He will rot in jail for what for what

Red great job I so appreciate this post Perfect!
Originally Posted by Oneredshoe
Byrd.....I feel pretty darn good, thank you for asking. I am on 28 consecutive days of being alcohol free, and I am not looking back. This chick is moving full steam ahead. .
I have learned a lot about myself and my addiction over the past 28 days, some have been painful, others have been enlightening. I have been faced with challenges, have had to cut ties with people I thought were my friends, have made new friends, I eat when I am hungry and I sleep when I am tired. I no longer spread myself too thin, I no longer feel responsible for the actions or lack of actions by other people in my life, I have secured my own oxygen mask, I have been honest with myself, I have been kind to myself. Above all I have guarded my sobriety with all of my might and will continue to do so, I feel empowered!

Thanks I feel the same way my family means more to me than ever now that I'm thinking on a much clearer level, thanks everyone here, super newbies good things can happen you have to believe and trust its inside of you you can do it!

Thanks gotta run to work so glad to know y'all are here :thanks: j

[rednose]

Newbies Nest

Day Eight

I made it to day 8 but barely. There is a Jam with other musicians that I have been going to for a while. Yesterday was the first time I attended.
It was hard for me not to have a drink. Someone actually put a glass of wine in front of me.
I am starting to wonder if I am ever going to feel normal is social situations. I would never get plastered at these jams, Just a glass of wine maybe two.
Everyone around me was smoking pot and I think I got high just being in the room. Never have cared for pot... But yesterday I thought what would be the harm in one drink.
I am confused for sure..


rednose

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Oh, Red! Please be very careful putting yourself in those kinds of situations this early in your quit. It takes a while to build up the kind of strength needed to be around strong triggers such as old habits, and not be really tempted to cave. I would think long and hard about trying to get out of those kinds of situations. Too easy to cave. If you really HAVE to go, please make sure you have had plenty to eat beforehand and bring an alternate drink to hold onto while there. The best plan is just not to go just yet.
That's my 2 cents!
And HUGE CONGRATS for not giving in. You rock!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Jimmy, you sound GREAT!!! Wow, what a scary situation at the bar for your friends. Glad you were able to help them out!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

rednose;1472615 wrote: I made it to day 8 but barely. There is a Jam with other musicians that I have been going to for a while. Yesterday was the first time I attended.
It was hard for me not to have a drink. Someone actually put a glass of wine in front of me.
I am starting to wonder if I am ever going to feel normal is social situations. I would never get plastered at these jams, Just a glass of wine maybe two.
Everyone around me was smoking pot and I think I got high just being in the room. Never have cared for pot... But yesterday I thought what would be the harm in one drink.
I am confused for sure..


rednose

I know this temptation all too well. Is this a bluegrass jam by any chance? Regardless, I have struggled with this but after the first jam without AL, it becomes a lot easier. Plus, consider how much better you can play. I use to forget parts of fiddle tunes and just go off into the weeds, so to speak. Now I rip through no prob.

[DimensionDrifter]

Newbies Nest

The Weekend..

I must admit to all.. I had 4 beers on Friday and 5 on Sat.. But stopped myself on Sunday.. However I felt rather blah all day Sunday, so I was upset with myself for (making myself feel that way.) 2 nights of just a few beers and STOP is still good for me, as I have a very serious binge drinking problem. I seem to have been able to apply the breaks myself twice now. But would rather not put myself in such a position, because in my business, I'm the only one I can count on to say NO! Thanks for all the support guys.. I will do my best to keep up support of you as well.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

DimensionDrifter;1472627 wrote: I must admit to all.. I had 4 beers on Friday and 5 on Sat.. But stopped myself on Sunday.. However I felt rather blah all day Sunday, so I was upset with myself for (making myself feel that way.) 2 nights of just a few beers and STOP is still good for me, as I have a very serious binge drinking problem. I seem to have been able to apply the breaks myself twice now. But would rather not put myself in such a position, because in my business, I'm the only one I can count on to say NO! Thanks for all the support guys.. I will do my best to keep up support of you as well.

Dude, I caved a bit on Sat and Sunday but unlike other times where weeks / months would pass, I'm right back up on the horse. I'm not going to beat myself up. Rather, time to dig in again and hit 100 Days of AF living!

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hi Dimension and Fin! Yes, getting back in the saddle pronto is most important!! It took me four years last time I fell off! Now, THAT was a waste of time, energy, and money and caused a lot of folks (including me) a lot of unnecessary pain. Keep going!!!