Newbies Nest

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1473206 wrote: Thanks, Straw. It was not an easy read but it sure makes it clear why quits don't get easier:

Over the past two decades, a large body of clinical data has suggested that repeated AW may exacerbate the severity of future withdrawal episodes.

I don't ever want to feel again the way I did the last week of January or so and certainly don't want to feel any worse.

NS

Having this knowledge sure makes it hard not to be a little firm when giving advice about 'slips'
I even hate the word 'slip'...... It makes something that is a big step on the road to binge drinking sound benign, which it most certainly is not.

Once you have lost control of your drinking, meaning you promised yourself NOT to drink and then felt compelled to do so, the 'off' switch has gone and you can never go back.

This doesn't mean you CAN'T LIMIT your consumption but you can't get a sufficient endorphin high on a safe amount. The work involved in staying safe is beyond most mere mortals, and what is the point of drug taking WITHOUT the high ?.........nobody joins an alcohol recovery forum because they were sick of the taste ! :H

You will, therefore, always be at risk of returning to higher and more dangerous levels.

The only answer ----- quit and be grateful you got your life back

[Lasha]

Newbies Nest

1st day at long last

Hi there,
I'm going ALF today, one day at a time, have cut back to 4 drinks a day but after a bender at the weekend and feeling so depressed I'm going for zero.

I think I've been kidding myself tapering down and not going the last hurdle will be OK, but after this weekend I cant see what good any AL does for you.

Now I've lost my job due to cutbacks, I'm going to retire from shifts full time and maybe look for a part time job, so I wont be able to afford it anyway. I think I couldn't go the last hurdle as I was using AL to be able to sleep to be fresh for work next day but not know. And when working nights I would drink before going to bed next day in the morning to get to sleep.

After speaking to an old work mate who retired early he said he took sleeping pills after nights and couldn't carry on like that. I feel great and still a bit worried but my wife is really encouraging and says don't worry about the initial depression she doesn't mind.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Lasha.......go for zero and plan to stay AF, 4 ain't gonna do anything for you except make you want 8.

I always look at it that I have drunk enough for 10 lifetimes so being sober is fair, I've had much more than my FAIR share ! :H

Hang in the nest, check in often and post often. Statistically you are more likely to succeed if you make this place your focus. The outside world doesn't 'get it'......we do.

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Hi Ed - welcome to the Nest! Great job on being AF for a month!

Lasha - the first few days are the toughest. I'm only on day 2 myself. And I don't know that I would be able to say that if my husband hadn't hidden the vodka he brought home last night. Obviously the only reason I know he hid it is because I went looking for it. Let's just hang in there together. The Nest is a great place to be.

I had an awful sleep last night, but I know that my sleep will get better eventually - I just have to get through these next few days.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters. Some really good posts. Am ploughing through and checking in.

Byrdie!!!hello hello. How are you...? Am glad to be back in the safe folds of this nest. Tough not a newbie but with a few slips I am back on track. It is interesting a lot of post about going back on AL and the effects of AW becoming progressively worse and worse at each attempt. Some really strong posts. Thank you thank you!

[Lasha]

Newbies Nest

Hi Kaya,
Yeah you're right, 4 drinks just wants me to have more and then I go too far at the weekend. I have also drunk for 10 lives as well. Liver could go at any time & hate the depression, got to go for zero. I'm excited but also depressed at not having AL but that passes does it not?

Hi Siren136,
I've had awful two nights sleep getting over that binge, so it cant get worse and it's got to get better I hope. Also not drinking means fewer toilet runs during the night, here's hoping tonight is better. Friend of mine invited me to go for a drink Friday lunch, just two thats all he has all week. Told him I'll come for a coffee as I'm stopping drinking and he said thats fine, see you then. He didn't mind at all, we normally have 2 drinks then I go on for more, No No No.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I am trying so hard to be grateful but am quite challenged today....I have a job with a boss who is located out of state and who like to work via email. So all I do is email him ..... we see each other face to face maybe 2 or 3 times a YEAR. It is a really really dysfunctional situation that I have no control over. I also manage a dozen people. They come to me with questions ALL the time. I do not want to speak out of turn so I seek confirmation from boss before I say something regarding their paycheck. Pretty logical, right? Yesterday I sent a question to him and his response was a rhetorical question. He did not confirm the information I was asking about but rather came back with a really obnoxious response.
The only thing he succeeded in doing is getting me so completely PISSED OFF. So, I have been imagining all of the things I could email back to him - I am good at being passive aggressive....I play that game well. But what would I succeed in doing that? I would engage him with completely unproductive words and at worst I could get fired. I know he is wrong. I know he is being unreasonable and I know he is an asshole. Therefore, I am going to keep my mouth shut. I am not going to reply. I am not going to engage.
Ignoring something like that is so hard and is making me feel so helpless that I woke up in tears this morning....this is the exact situation that has gotten me the "fuck its" in the past.
Top that off with my 15 year old son who I just found out yesterday is failing math. These things are not life altering. But these are the things that are real triggers for me. I just needed to get this out there ..... It will be a challenging day for me but I am determined to remain AF.....
Hope you guys are in a better place than me right now!!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Mini- revelation!

As I was waking up this morning I was thinking that if your overaciever, pleaser, perfectionist personality is part of what landed you here, it probably would be a good idea to stop correcting all your typos on an anonymous forum!!!

I see I missed an h up there but I'm NOT fixing it .

Anyway, Kuya, Thanks for this bit which totally cracked me up and that is a great way to get going on the day:

kuya;1473252 wrote: [/B] what is the point of drug taking WITHOUT the high ?.........nobody joins an alcohol recovery forum because they were sick of the taste ! :H

PS: I reserve myself the right to fix some of Mr. AutoCorrect's outright blunders! He sure as heck isn't perfect!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi Friend. All those sound like really good reasons to be upset and angry and even better reasons NOT to drink, right? Be sure and come here and talk to us before you even start to do that.

I looked back at your note and am thrilled you typed Determined instead of Hoped at the end!

Stay strong!

jenniech;1473385 wrote: I am trying so hard to be grateful but am quite challenged today....I have a job with a boss who is located out of state and who like to work via email. So all I do is email him ..... we see each other face to face maybe 2 or 3 times a YEAR. It is a really really dysfunctional situation that I have no control over. I also manage a dozen people. They come to me with questions ALL the time. I do not want to speak out of turn so I seek confirmation from boss before I say something regarding their paycheck. Pretty logical, right? Yesterday I sent a question to him and his response was a rhetorical question. He did not confirm the information I was asking about but rather came back with a really obnoxious response.
The only thing he succeeded in doing is getting me so completely PISSED OFF. So, I have been imagining all of the things I could email back to him - I am good at being passive aggressive....I play that game well. But what would I succeed in doing that? I would engage him with completely unproductive words and at worst I could get fired. I know he is wrong. I know he is being unreasonable and I know he is an asshole. Therefore, I am going to keep my mouth shut. I am not going to reply. I am not going to engage.
Ignoring something like that is so hard and is making me feel so helpless that I woke up in tears this morning....this is the exact situation that has gotten me the "fuck its" in the past.
Top that off with my 15 year old son who I just found out yesterday is failing math. These things are not life altering. But these are the things that are real triggers for me. I just needed to get this out there ..... It will be a challenging day for me but I am determined to remain AF.....
Hope you guys are in a better place than me right now!!!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thanks no sugar! Your support really helps me!
So, I am all ready to go to work and I don't want to go. Talk about unmotivating management by my boss.......
(sigh)
Things are looking brighter with my son. We will get him a tutor short term (140/hour CHOKE) and make him go for help after school DAILY
He cleaned his room up last night and actually made his bed without his mom nagging him to do so. I am so lucky that these are the problems I am having with him.....
What would I do without MWO.....I woke up this morning full of resentment and anger....just by typing here and reading posts I am beginning to turn it around. I am lucky in so many ways.......:thanks:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Patrick, it is an honor and a privilege to bestow only the second pair of drawers to be awarded! This Award is for a Massive Load of days accrued....150 Days AF....that's 150 nights of knowing exactly where your underwear were at all times. Well done, dear friend...

:flyingunders:

Here's to a lifetime of moving undergarments! XO, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Patrick, CONGRATS to you :wd:
Enjoy your special award

I'm dealing with a head cold & am grateful I don't have to deal with a hangover as well.
I'm starting a countdown now - 20 days until my 4 year AF anni. I hope you'll all join me for some cake & coffee

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!
Lav

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Huge CONGRATS Patrick. We are so proud of your 150 days keeping up with your drawers we know it has not been easy!!!:H:H:H
Jennie. Great attitude!!! You are very smart, sensible and an inspiration to all of us. Keep up the great work!!
Lav, hope you feel better. Can't wait for your party. Patrick and I will be sporting our new undergarments!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lav, I can't believe you are coming up on 4 years!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure RC will want to throw a party! What kind of cake do you want??? I'm so happy for you, one day I will be there, too!
Hope you feel better!
Stay strong, nesters...remember, Your Quit is is YOUR hands! B

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1473414 wrote: Patrick, it is an honor and a privilege to bestow only the second pair of drawers to be awarded! This Award is for a Massive Load of days accrued....150 Days AF....that's 150 nights of knowing exactly where your underwear were at all times. Well done, dear friend...

:flyingunders:

Here's to a lifetime of moving undergarments! XO, Byrdie

Patrick,

When I went to roll call a couple of days ago to check in, I thought I went to the last page but I went to the first and saw this:
...
...
Patrick - Day 4 (struggling but determined)


My heart just DROPPED! I didn't know you were so close to getting your flying drawers but I knew you had a Big Number!

Thank goodness it was just the wrong page.

CONGRTULATIONS!!

-NS