Newbies Nest

[foxtrott]

Newbies Nest

I need help to end this cycle

I feel stupid for again posting that today is the day! I have had so many day ones and being determined. Then this "thing" inside me takes over control and before I know it I have bought a bottle of wine and am drinking it. The next morning guilt and frustration set in....I have lived with alcoholics all my life and for the most part never drank...in the last few years it has been more and more and more.....now daily-I can't remember parts of the night before-I've driven-and it is destroying my health.

I am too old, just turned a young 59-I have 4 great kids-6 out of this world grandkids and I am killing myself. At work during the day I listen to Christian messages of hope and am determined - never again.....

I have the books, CD's - L-Glut but forget to take it most the time....I get so busy with everything and everyone else I just don't take the time for me.

I know I have to help myself but any support you can give me is needed and appreciate......I don't want to die young...I want to see my grandkids graduate, marry and have familieis.

I just don't know why I can't conquor this....I have a lot of the tools and tons of knowledge about this ugly disease but it just keeps pulling me in....thanks for listening. Foxx

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi Fox.

No need to feel bad about starting again -- feel good about it 'cause that's where you want to be. Stumbles along the way are not necessarily bad. We learn from mistakes; from falling down and getting up... Just keep moving forward and you'll get there.

The supplements and things from MWO, including these forums, help immensely. Take care and good luck!

Hi everyone. Happy Monday!
bye for now.
tw

[saddad]

Newbies Nest

foxtrott;729681 wrote: Then this "thing" inside me takes over control and before I know it I have bought a bottle of wine and am drinking it.

I know I have to help myself but any support you can give me is needed and appreciate......I don't want to die young. Foxx

Hi Foxx, I'm a newbie, first post today, and am in no position to offer advice, however what you posted exactly mirrors my situation. You are definately not alone. I look at my kids and decide I don't want to die young, which is what will happen, and promise to kick it every morning. By the evening i've come up with an excuse to buy two bottles of wine, (one is never enough) and the cycle continues. Do I really love wine more than my kids?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

The sun is shinning in the part of the nest - nice

Sunni, glad you checked in. I missed you all weekend, hope everything is OK

Good morning Tranq, time to get to work!

Milly, good to see you! Let's try to end the pity party. I have found them to be completely useless because they keep you mired in misery. Start thinking about all the good things you are gaining by going AF No more hangovers, nothing to apologize for, no worries! You will soon start to feel & look much better, sleep better & rid yourself of the endless anxiety & depression! You life is improving immensely

Hi fox, welcome back! It doesn't matter how many tries it takes, the important thing is you're here
You certainly do have a huge family to look after, that's wonderful. But right now, you need to be a bit selfish & focus on yourself! Sit down and re-work your plan to include time for yourself to use those CDs. They will help you focus on what you need to do right now! Commit yourself, you won't be sorry, I promise

Time to get myself to work as well.
Wishing everyone strength & a good Monday!
Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hi saddad,

Welcome! Stick with us - we help each other through
Find yourself a comfy twig and settle right in

[sooty]

Newbies Nest

Hello newbies and welcome to the nest. Lovely to have you along with us but don't sit next to me cos I've got germs ...cough, splutter, sneeze.... but I'll be better soon and back to bossing us all about!
Sooty

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Hello Fledgelings!

Milly, hang in there my dear - it doesn't come easy, and for most of us it doesn't come at the first (thirteenth) try! The fact that you are willing to come back and try again, speaks volumes!

Same goes for Foxtrott :l Never, EVER feel you can't say something here or feel 'stupid'. No such thing. Stupid would be to turn your back and give up. Re-evaluate your triggers. Then re-evaluate your tools. Make necessary adjustments. Try again. Make more adjustments. You WILL get this right. Your life depends on it.

Saddad... no you do not love your wine more than your kids. In fact, you don't even love your wine at all. You have a disease. One, which you CAN recover from. Yes, it will take a lot of effort and no, it ain't a walk in the park. But you are worth the effort.

Tranq, wise words from a southern bird Yes, stumbles don't have to be a bad thing. Not, if you learn from them. I totally agree.

Lav, you sound good and strong and so together as usual. :l Thank you for being here, and being there for all of us every day. You make this Nest a so much better place to be.

Sooty, you better keep them cooties over ---> THERE! Can't afford to get sick - too much to do! :H I hope you are feeling better my dear... can I PM you some soup? I have a big pot on the stove!?

This weekend was a toughie for me as I was left to my own devices. PLUS, no power for a good part of it - so no MWO. Which, in the past, has been detrimental to my sobriety. But not this time. No, Siree. Cleaned, rearranged,read, ate nothing but junk food (please someone hide the scale) and am still AF. Phew.

To everyone and anyone not mentioned - Have a wonderful Monday, all!

[Milly24]

Newbies Nest

Lavande - thanks again for the encouragement, its really helping. I read someone's post that said to imagine your drink of choice (in my case, white wine) as a glass of urine including the smell. I think I might try that, sounds like it could work!!!!
Hope you have a great day

AF since 10/03/09

[BadlyBruisedByBooze]

Newbies Nest

I need some advise, please.

Hello everyone,

I already know & am going to buy the book today. But I see that there are supliments, medications, etc.
Unfortunatly I am jobless, no health ins., and trying to save money to get a car.
Is buying the book enough for starters as myself? Is there anything I should absolutly have besides?

Thanks,
BBBB

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Hello BBB and welcome!

The supplements help many here. Personally, I didn't feel very 'good' taking them. So, I'm doing it without supplements. I do, however have the hypno cds. And they definitely help with anxiety and whatnot.

Wishing you the best!

[FindingMyself]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,

Franzia, Were you able to get into chat?

Milly good for you for holding the cravings at bay!

Fox, I used to be terrible about remembering to take supplements so I now keep everything out on the counter so I do remember. Trying to develop new habits can be challenging.

Welcome Saddad and BBBB! BBBB, the free things that helped me are reading and making myself participate here on the MWO boards, and writing – a plan to get me through the day, or the week, and making a list of the things I hate about my drinking and all of the positive stuff I hope to see and feel without alcohol in my life.

Sooty hope you’re feeling better. ‘Tis the season I usually pick up some kind of bug.

Happy Monday to everyone!

[tassimo]

Newbies Nest

Hey Sooty,,I'm in the same boat,,was sick with a fever, cough, cold all weekend but feeling better already. It's been a LONG time since I've been this sick. I have a friend (who has a SEVERE drinking problem) who, when anyone is sick, says "well, I guess you haven't been drinking enough brandy"...aint that the truth! No brandy, or anything else, going on here. I wonder if there is some truth to that??? But I will take the sniffles for a few days over a damaged liver and a hangover any day! Hope everyone has a great evening..off to the hockey rink,,again!

[Milly24]

Newbies Nest

Sooty - get well soon, lots of tea and cozy blankets
Sunshine - thx for your encouragement, i enjoy reading your posts (so full of humor and wit).
BBB - I, too, am out of work, and reading the big book, other self help stuff and taking a multivitamin, trying to drink lots of water. I am finding the local library a good source of info (and the best part is , its free).
Question to all: Any idea how to stop this damned itching, its driving me nuts. It gets worse when the cravings come.

[Milly24]

Newbies Nest

Hi all:
Well, I feel so crappy, I have just opened a bottle of wine I hope you will all bear with me on this, now I know I may not be able to do it on my own, but I am embarrassed to go to my doctor for help. In fact, I don't even know what he could do for me!! I made it barely to Day 3 (I read it is a hard day for alot of people) but I couldn't do it. All I wanted to do was cry and sleep, and for some reason I didn't want to allow myself to do that. I always feel that I need to be productive, well, I sure won't be now!! I will try to get back on track tomorrow.
P

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

:l Milly.

Been there. Yep, Day 3 was doozie. Day 4, too. And day 7. And THEN, something marvellous happens... you actually feel GOOD. You start to SLEEP (not pass out), and your brain cells start working again.

Now, can you stop now? Leave it at what you have consumed and pour the rest out? Can you get to chat? Just because you've opened a bottle doesn't mean you have to finish it. Do you think you can switch to water now? A nice cup of tea, perhaps? A bath?

PM me if you'd like to talk. You can get back on the wagon TONIGHT - you don't have to wait until tomorrow!