Newbies Nest

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Patrick;1473630 wrote: fabulous stuff.I love it
you are a true star in so many ways

She is indeed

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

And :l:l:l to you Jimmy, hang in there

[moni]

Newbies Nest

This weekend I move house. I'm scared. I dread change. I think I feel nice and stuck in my routine and that once I have my little bubble I can stay on track etc. Is that normal? Or am I a freak?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Moni...you are a freak. BAH!!! I couldn't resist! Hells Bells, ALL of us are like this! That's why we wanted to stay stuck in our drinking stupor! Change is hard! But you know what I've found? Change is different....(understatement) but it's not really harder to do...it's just different. Then IT will become your new normal. Actually, today, I am more open to change than I ever was when I drank. Not sure why....But no, what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Just don't use it as an excuse to revert back to "The way we were"!!! Those misty water-color memories ain't so great.....In a week or so, you'll be right as rain! Try to change your perspective....that's what I try to do...from victim, to large and in charge! You got this! Byrdie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

moni;1473650 wrote: This weekend I move house. I'm scared. I dread change. I think I feel nice and stuck in my routine and that once I have my little bubble I can stay on track etc. Is that normal? Or am I a freak?

What an excellent opportunity to really have the new you in a new house. To be anxious is normal but you can leave some old habits behind and build new memories.

Fear not, but eat well and rest properly and don't allow the emotions to trip you up

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

thank you for the clever poems!
The visuals got me ROFL:H

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Overitt
I am so sorry for what you are going through....I am also extremely proud of your thought process. Hang tough girl!!

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

Hello folks -- congratulations to JD and OneRed on 30 days!!! It feels marvelous, right? Congratulations to you, too, Patrick -- 150 days is amazing and really inspiring.

Jenniech, way to go getting through that lunch. Since stopping drinking, it seems like AL is everywhere you turn, doesn't it? Cheers to you for being turned off!

Here's wishing all a good next few days, and an especially great day for LastStraw tomorrow (if I've done my math right...)!

Elliesmom

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for my BEAUTIFUL hat

Byrdlady....thank you so much for my hat, it is BEAUTIFUL. I am sorry that it has taken me a while to post this, I needed time to gather and put my thoughts into words.
Feel the fear and do it anyway with 100% commitment. Nothing to lose and so much to gain. This was mantra at the beginning of my journey and still is, for my journey is far from over.
I accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic, an abuser of alcohol, a person who has an issue with alcohol, a person who self medicated by way of alcohol. None of these titles or descriptions bother me for they do not define who I am. It was a choice I made.
There is no such thing as 1 drink, or 1 night of drinking. No BARGAINING, NO ALCOHOL PERIOD. I no longer drink, I don't drink....period.
I took a long hard look at all of the past mistakes I made, as well as all of the consequences I had suffered as a direct result of my choice to drink. This was extremely uncomfortable and hurt me deeply. I took responsibility for every mistake and ownership of every consequence.
I forgave myself, taking great care and caution not to condone my past actions, but allowing myself to leave my past where it belongs, in the past, so that I may move forward into my present life.
I learned that I was a people pleasing care giver to a fault. I conditioned people in my life by allowing them to take full advantage of my inability to say NO, spreading myself too thin and unable to concentrate on my own well-being. This had to stop, and was met with great resistance by some. Poor planning on their part no longer constitutes an emergency for me, freeing me from taking responsibility for their actions or lack of. This is not to say that I have turned into some cold hearted witch, I simply make my priorities a priority.
I no longer avoid nor do I allow anyone to diminish my negative feelings or emotions. Nor do I dwell upon them either, I embrace them for what they are and what has caused them, this has been important for me, it has helped me to move forward in my own personal healing and recovery journey.
I know that my journey is far from over. I know I will face future challenges. This time around I have and will continue to guard my sobriety with all of my might, no matter what the cost, 100% commitment, because living my life by not living my life...is no way to live!
A big hug and much love to all of you for all of your support, words of wisdom and guidance.


Oneredshoe

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe ...... Put on that other red shoe cos you are walking the straight and narrow, one foot in front of the other.

So very, very proud of you GF, you have no idea.

Welcome back to life

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1473825 wrote: Oneredshoe ...... Put on that other red shoe cos you are walking the straight and narrow, one foot in front of the other.

So very, very proud of you GF, you have no idea.

Welcome back to life

Hey Mama K.....I shutter at the thought of where I could have ended up if you hadn't given me the honest nudge I needed. I wasn't kidding when I told you that it changed the course of my life.. Much love to you Kuya! :l

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

oneredshoe
that is some powerful stuff. I love your mantra....and I totally relate to all that you said.
Thanks for sharing!!
5am here.....off to the gym

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

OneRedShoe's acceptance post

What a beautiful post, OneRedShoe!

I couldn't sleep because of thoughts tumbling around in my head so decided to check in here.

Your post was a like a tasty and satisfying middle of the night snack! . I feel much calmer after reading it a couple times - thanks. Your words make me feel great for you and for what it tells me about those of us flailing around right now ( ok - Me - you don 't sound like you are flailing at all!) - we can forgive ourselves and make a choice to change some things about ourselves that are inhibiting us from living the life we need to be living to be fulfilled happy human beings (not human doings - Kuya put that in a post one time and I think about it All of the time - I am a great Do-er and don't even know how to Be).

I could have written words similar to some of your sentences from my heart and I want to have some of your others be true for me as well (e.g.: " I no longer avoid nor do I allow anyone to diminish my negative feelings or emotions ").

From the things I know, our lives are quite different (what we Do) but I have seen similarities in who we Are. I really enjoyed "hanging out" in the rather empty nest with you last weekend - you were supporting me during one of my self-forgiveness struggles. I'm really glad you were there.

Your 30 AF days - the things you wrote about yourself and the kind but motivating words you wrote to others inspired me to hang in there several times. And now thanks to you, I might get a little more sleep !

I hope we remain AF MWO friends for a long, long time!

Love, NS

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1473868 wrote: Kuya put that in a post one time and I think about it All of the time - I am a great Do-er and don't even know how to Be).

This is me, too. I'm really into personality theory, particularly Enneagram because it talks about our motivations for behavior rather than just some personality attributes.

One of the characteristics of my type (type 3) is "Because you have a tendency to mistake what you do for who you are, you can become a human ?doing? instead of a human being." The theory goes on to say "You can become anxious and fearful that your carefully crafted image of the successful, on the go, efficient ?doer? might be unmasked.".

I have to say that one of the main reasons I decided to quit is that AL was starting to affect my work and I just can't have that.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Siren136;1473890 wrote: This is me, too. I'm really into personality theory, particularly Enneagram because it talks about our motivations for behavior rather than just some personality attributes.

One of the characteristics of my type (type 3) is "Because you have a tendency to mistake what you do for who you are, you can become a human ?doing? instead of a human being." The theory goes on to say "You can become anxious and fearful that your carefully crafted image of the successful, on the go, efficient ?doer? might be unmasked.".

I have to say that one of the main reasons I decided to quit is that AL was starting to affect my work and I just can't have that.

Siren I believe that successful sobriety stems from wanting it for its own sake, rather than as a means to an end. That will never last IMO.

Your last statement still suggests you think you can control alcohol rather than accepting that alcohol, when you drink it, controls you.

The difference may sound like semantics but if you don't give up your perfectionism you will need the alcohol to numb the pain. I was also a perfectionist.......life didn't get real till I dropped the act.