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    #33601
    Newbies Nest

    Happy Saturday Nesters. Just a quick "Top O' the Mornin to ya" and then this Hippy is off to be in a St. Patrick's day parade. I'm taking my puppet "Charlie Horse" along to hand out candy. The kids just LOVE old Charlie. Enjoy this beautiful weekend and above all else, STAY HAPPY AND STAY SOBER!!!
    Sober since Sept. 24th 2012 This time 4 SURE!
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-3162-30074.html Newbies Nest
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html Tool Box
    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/what-plan-how-do-i-get-one-68554.html How to get a sobriety plan

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      #33602
      Newbies Nest

      Caz 22;1474937 wrote: Day two...still to share with my partner that booze can no longer be a choice for me.Tomorrow will be first challenge,get together with friends for dinner this usually involves 6,7,8 drinks but not tonight.A few of the group judge people,I am too raw for their judgement.I have quit before for maybe two three months a time so me not drinking won't be too unusual to them.I need time in my head first to push this one through.This cannot fail, I come first.If a couple of friends have to be dropped from my life sthen so be.I know once I share with partner he will be 110% supportive....Glad I found you guys.
      Welcome , Caz!

      You are facing a tough social challenge so early! You need a plan for tonight. Telling your partner is great but he won't be making the choices for you.

      You said you are too raw for judgement and that you need time in your head.

      I think you are right. I am on day forty- something and I still was so relieved when life intervened and I couldn't go to a birthday dinner with my girlfriends last night. I don't believe I would have drank but it would have been a stressful challenge that I just don't want or need yet.

      Can you change your plans tonight?

      Most of us here have had to really protect ourselves in the very early days and keep that up as long as it takes. I'm taking more 'risks' but never without a concrete action plan.

      You also said you cannot fail and you come first. It takes a ton of work to do those things. You are in a wonderful place for help getting that done!

      Comment

        #33603
        Newbies Nest

        Hippy, I just love reading about how you are enjoying life now. Good for you! Those are very lucky dogs you have.......I'm sure they are enjoying life as much as you are!

        Comment

          #33604
          Newbies Nest

          Back for another try. Day 1 for me. Goal: 7 days

          Comment

            #33605
            Newbies Nest

            Morning Nesters!

            Brydlady, every time I see your avatar out in cyberspace somewhere I think of you. Maybe we should put it on our cellphone as the home screen or our desktop. We will always be reminded, she is watching us! Bwahahaha!

            Oneredshoe, I'm getting stronger, but I have my low days. I've been in a battle, but now I'm heading into full blown battle mode. So this is going to require a lot from me mentally. This green card marriage has cost me so much and will now cost me more as I head into a nasty battle ground. As I learn more and more about this con artist and his back home girlfriend, I am able to let go more and more with the heart and let my reason and strength come out to fight the injustice. It is a monetary tragedy as well as a moral and emotional one. When I read Bobby or anyone suffering a heartache, I think YOU CAN DO IT! I was broken to the bottom of the pit in this area...you know where even taking a breath is full of labor. AL will not let you come out of that pit. It will keep you there in a victim role feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone has some moments of despair and complete mental breakdown when your heart is broken in pieces, but I've been able to survive the horror of what this person and his posse have used and done to me. I've stopped drowning in a bottle for relief and quite frankly from not wanting to live anymore because of the pain. Those here feeling that way, YOU can do this. You have to just start with one step and then another and do the work on yourself. Pull yourself out of the victim pool. In my case, I now have to fight a big war and I am doing it without a crutch...YOU CAN TOO! Get up and fight for you life! Get that fighter spirit back. Your life is your responsibility. There are injustices in life everyday. Don't let yourself stay a victim. I think I need my slayer avatar back. Yes, indeed. Done!

            Hang tough folks. You have inside of you what you need to win this battle. Your life is yours to fight for.

            Love,

            Slay
            Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

            Comment

              #33606
              Newbies Nest

              Day 44 and I am completing this floors goals, Fin! Slay is back and she's ready to fight all her enemies.

              Take note the strength that comes with putting that bottle down, folks! You'll have your ups and downs, but you'll be present to handle what you need to handle and fight for your happiness. DO IT! Trust it!

              Slay
              Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

              Comment

                #33607
                Newbies Nest

                Slay.....my thoughts are with you and sending you the strength you are going to continue to need. You have shown great strength through this ordeal so far and I know you're building up more in store.
                When I was going through the utter devastation of heartbreak from betrayal, I had the most AF days then because I knew I needed to have my wits about me to fight for myself. We can accomplish so much more without AL.

                Bobby.....you need to do the same in order to take back control of your life and to live the one you deserve. You CAN do it.

                Comment

                  #33608
                  Newbies Nest

                  Thank you, New Day. It's going to take a lot from me in the next months, but after seeing one more thing last night, my resolve was fixed. I was still teetering just a bit, but I am 100% sure now. Even having one little doubt can trip you up and leave you in bondage to limbo. Once you make the decision, you can truly fight with force. It's just like the AL battle. You have to make that decision and give up the doubts. Jump in 100% knowing this is what I must do and this is what I want to do. Your victory is much better obtained with that mindset. Doubt will make you trip. We can feel where Bobby is...we know how hard it is at his stage. We all have the strength; it just doesn't feel that way at first.

                  Everyone have an AF day and take charge of your life. You won't be sorry you did!

                  Slay
                  Rule your mind or it will rule you. It is from a thought that an action grows. :bat

                  Comment

                    #33609
                    Newbies Nest

                    Slay, you couldn't be righter (Southern Speak)!! A loss is a loss is a loss. And we are grieving. I'll tell you, early on when I had an AL thought, I changed the subject in my head immediately. Lola talked about this yustaday... when you get a thought, change course. Name off your cousins, name the 7 dwarfs or dwarves...google whether it's dwarfs or dwarves! Look up how many dimples are on a golf ball....ANYTHING to get you out of that dangerous loop of thinking. I also found that this strategy worked when I lost my dad. (sorry to keep bringing that up) I just sat and stared out the window for 2 weeks after it happened, but then I had to get control of my mind...I had to grab my brain back. And it worked. When you start going down the 'EX' rabbit hole, grab yourself back and change your thoughts. I still do this and it helps. Losing important relationships suck, but we will get past this!! We must, and better to do it sooner than later, right? Life is too short to be stuck in a HOLE!!
                    Change your thinking it helps!!!

                    May everyone have a belly blooper today!!! xo, B
                    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                    Tool Box
                    Newbie's Nest

                    Comment

                      #33610
                      Newbies Nest

                      Hi Slay, you sound wonderful. You have shown unbelievable strength to keep fighting through so many difficulties. I know it has not been easy. Heartbreak, betrayal, financial stress, having to follow through on the court stuff. You are an inspiration to all of us!
                      AF since 12/2/12
                      http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

                      Comment

                        #33611
                        Newbies Nest

                        Icanwithoutacan;1475063 wrote: Back for another try. Day 1 for me. Goal: 7 days
                        I'm glad you came back! Do you know what derailed you and how to avoid it again? I hope you let us help you.

                        Love, NS

                        Comment

                          #33612
                          Newbies Nest

                          Welcome back Ican. Just don't give up. We are here for you! Hugs!
                          AF since 12/2/12
                          http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/

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                            #33613
                            Newbies Nest

                            Good Morning Slay, et al

                            You are in inspiration Slay!

                            I Have spoken a bit about my girlfriend who went through a similar ordeal. I remember clearly that while she was still drinking she would sometimes get very quiet and then tell me that she still loved him...

                            Even after he took her children, took her job, took her home, put her on the streets, abused                             her physically and emotionally and in other ways I don't even want to know she would say to me..."I still love him"....

                            Now, she is three years sober, has a great job and beautiful home on the water and she refers to this Ex...person.... as "The Fucking Lunatic! :shocked:

                            I definitely see her strength, her tanacity in you.

                            Giving you big hugs and heart. :l:l:h:h
                            On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                            *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                            Comment

                              #33614
                              Newbies Nest

                              ...day 2

                              Comment

                                #33615
                                Newbies Nest

                                I derailed myself, Persephone and thx almost free! I still think "just a couple" even though I KNOW better .... I am not a normal drinker... I just want to be .... But I can't be a drunk anymore

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