Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hey siren! Doing well tonight! Hope all day 1'ers are as well...Fin, I don't know what got me this time. I mean I'm really fine on days I don't drink but some days I wake up and the idea I'm going to drink tonight pops in there and I cannot get rid of it????!!!! So bizarre

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Day 1 people - stay day one and make day 2 possible for everyone. You can do it. Just think of no little headache, no jum jum mouth. Do day one until tomorrow
-S-

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

I finally found my old user name when I was last here in 2011. The day before my birthday I had 31 days AF and posted this: "Today is my 31st night without alcohol. It was really painless. 4 weekends. I went to parties. I was out to dinner. I had lots of stress. Lonliness. Disappointments. became a grandma. had a job interview. Hubby was away 2 weekends. Went to a party with an open bar. went out to dinner with my drinking buddy. I'm surprised at how little I thought about alcohol. At one point, when circumstances seemed to be going really bad, and I was pretty stressed, (where I would normally look forward to having a few drinks) I realized alcohol WOULD NOT make me feel better!!!!!). it would not help. It was pretty funny - how often I reach for that crutch and it only made thing worse - or did nothing at all. usually made me feel more miserable about myself. Not sure that I look better or feel better - maybe not - but my head is not filled with thoughts of alcohol - or thoughts about how awful I am. I don't dread tomorrow." Looking up from the hole I crawled into, trying to find my old posts of success - hoping to give myself hope. During the 12 recent days that I didn't drink, one night I was telling myself I could have one class of wine. I stopped because I knew I would not be happy with ONE glass. It is the same excuse I used when I bought the wine that started my binge. I would not be happy with ONE bottle. So I bought several. Hoping that typing it and re-reading it will show me how insane that is.

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Siren 136 Thanks for writing all of our names down to indicate DAY ONE.

Here I go again to try and be more powerful over alcohol, at this point I don't feel I have the strength to accomplish anything, I need to admit that I m an alcoholic, and I can't even have one drink ever again.. I just want to be a better mom, a better wife, a better person (alcohol is diminishing me) I am feeling defeated and beaten down by my failures, I want and deserve a better life....I need help

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Hubby is driving me nuts. Don't want to talk about it.
-S-

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

thelaststraw;1476401 wrote: Hubby is driving me nuts. Don't want to talk about it.
-S-

Too funny! You gotta laugh...............right?:H:H:H:H:H:H

See everyone manana

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

I love all of the work going on in the nest.......Thelaststraw I am with you I want that fickle finger award too. I just wanted to do a quick pop in to welcome all the newbies and say hi to everyone else. I haven't fallen off of the wagon, I have been enjoying some much needed peace and quiet with my hubby being out of town. I will catch up later. Be strong everyone!

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

thelaststraw;1476401 wrote: Hubby is driving me nuts. Don't want to talk about it.
-S-

Just send him out of town.....that's what I did with mine. :H.

[halfway content]

Newbies Nest

I am doing okay. Don't want a drink but I would love for my heart to stop racing. Guess I could go clean the kitchen or maybe just go to bed and stare at the ceiling for a few hours.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

halfway content;1476409 wrote: I am doing okay. Don't want a drink but I would love for my heart to stop racing. Guess I could go clean the kitchen or maybe just go to bed and stare at the ceiling for a few hours.

Try some deep breathing.......this should help, just try to relax. Stay here for a little bit.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Slay.....I just read about little Chewys toe. Poor little guy. He will be as right as rain in no time, he is already running around, just gotta watch the toe, and that will be just fine too.

[halfway content]

Newbies Nest

Thanks. I am sure that I will be around for awhile.
Hope others are making it tonight.

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Hey halfway - you're doing great! Can u rent Flight? That movie scared the shit out of me enough to stop me drinking once when I was close....
Halo- you are NOT weak of any of the things you wrote and you will be better. Stop listening to the beast tonight . He can beat you down with thoughts of how bad you are just to get what he wants - for you to drink! That's why Byrdie calls him a Dick! Get mad at the Dick not yourself

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

tonight I went to my mom's house (next door to me) as I do every night at 6pm. It used to be for the purpose of having a glass of wine and a cigarette with her while she drank her whiskey. Now, she still drinks her whiskey and has a cigarette with me (my next addiction to quit but not until I have AL beat to a pulp). I have switched from wine to selter and cranberry juice. It never bothered me that she drank whiskey in front of me - I hate the stuff. That is, until tonight. I don't know why, but a huge craving came crashing over me. That hasn't happened in a LONG TIME. Of course, I did not act on the craving. I just urge surfed through it. But, it did show me something really, really important. I cannot grow complacent with the progress I have made thus far. I still need to be on guard and CAREFUL....
I have enough time to KNOW what to do and I chose the right course of action....but it really scared me to think that the urge could come on that strong at this stage of the game. So, I am guarding myself very carefully and will prepare better tomorrow before I go over there.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening

[almost free]

Newbies Nest

Thanks so much for the congratulations Slay and Fin. Much appreciated.

The hardest part for me was the first week, for withdrawals and cravings. And into the second week for zero energy. It is either the exhausting effort to stay sober in the beginning, or the change-over from a booze based fuel source to a food based one. Not sure. But the energy and the sleep issues will right themselves. The hardest day I had was Christmas Eve, day 23 for me. That one was really close, but I managed to get through it by coming on here and posting.

It has gotten much easier, but I try to stay on my guard, lest I get complacent and fall prey to Addiction (Dick) Head's lies. Like, "Hey, you are much better now, and can handle a glass or two of wine again." or " You only drank because you were depressed and you are feeling great now." or "It wasn't as bad as you remember it". Or one of my favorites: This time will be different because..... (fill in the blank). All so familiar.........

Look at our line-up of Day One'ers:

Siren
Fin
ISAIC (I'mStrong and in Control)
Ican(without a can)
Halo
Halfway Content
Free at Last

Then we have:

RL at day 2
Bobby at day 3
Birdseed at day 4

What a line up of people, all in week one! What great company to make this journey with!

Running Courage and I started this journey on the same day. And we both got a Fickle Finger award today. Neither of us thought we could ever get 100 days when we started.

There is hope for everyone here! One comfort: as Byrdie always says, "You will never have two bad days in a row." So just get through today. Even if it's bad, tomorrow will be better.

Imagine the line up of 'moons' we will get on day seven! Byrdie and Star may have to double team on that one! That will be something to behold! Hang in there everyone!

p.s. cross posted...... Good for you Jenni. So proud of you! It's hard when it comes out of seemingly nowhere! Especially when you have been going along smoothly for a while. Good girl!