Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Evening, Nesters....well done for all getting thru the day and if it was a tough one, remember, you'll never have 2 bad days in a row! If it stayed so hard, no one could do it! Tomorrow is a new day and you will feel 'aces' (as Mick says) for getting another day added to your count.
Nursie, my heart is bleeding for you....but I have to believe that they (your brother, and my dad) would not want us to stop living because of it. I know my dad wants me to move on and be happy...as he is now. I've just got to look at it this way otherwise, it seems unbearable. He would NOT want me to stop living or to be miserable....he was happy when we (his children) were happy. I bet your brother was the same way. It is not selfish or unfeeling...we are the survivors....we have life, and we must live it to the fullest. I'm trying....let's do this together! We'll get thru it.
Stay strong everyone! AL is out to get you! It IS a trick! Don't fall for it. Hugs to all!! Byrdie

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Thank you, so much all of you.
Yes Byrdie, we can do it together. They would kick our tushies if they saw us miserable.
Blossoms, I am so sorry about your mom, and the circumstances of her first anniversary. The trip you took sounds lovely, and I would like that too.
For his birthday we are keeping it low key, dinner with our other brother and going through some pictures, visit the grave site, etc.
For the one year anniversary, we will have a memorial service and celebration of his life.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

thelaststraw;1477120 wrote: pray 4 me

Laststraw.....I will pray for you. You can do this, I know you can!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

today is my husband's birthday!!
We had ice cream cake.....I had a nice piece and then the cake itself was melting (yummmm) so I had to get rid of that part before I put it back in the freezer....it went into my mouth by mistake and now I feel gross!!!
So much better than drinking!!!
alarm set: 4:45
gym 5:30am

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1477391 wrote: today is my husband's birthday!!
We had ice cream cake.....I had a nice piece and then the cake itself was melting (yummmm) so I had to get rid of that part before I put it back in the freezer....it went into my mouth by mistake and now I feel gross!!!
So much better than drinking!!!
alarm set: 4:45
gym 5:30am

I LOVE ICE-CREAM CAKE!!!!!! Especially Cold stone creamery ice-cream cake :H:H:H

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Nursie;1477287 wrote: I am still here, just didnt have Internet for couple days. Still taking Antabuse. Still sober.
Today is a hard day as its the 9 month anniversary of my brother's death. I have been in quite a funk. His birthday is this Saturday. He would have been 31. I just feel so lost and fractured without him. When I figure out how to post pics I will show you a pic of him.
Sad sad few days here. But I'm doing it sober.

I feel ya Nursie, ironically my 30 day quit fell on March 5 which would have been my Dads Birthday, I promise I did not plan my quit that way, but I couldn't help feel like he was watching over me.
I know he would kick my butt for living the way I was living my life by not living it.
Your brother wouldn't want that for you either. So stay strong and do something amazing to celebrate his life. I try to do something different each year. My Dad loved lemon meringue pie, last year I made one from scratch and ate the WHOLE thing by myself. :H. I was pretty impressed with my baking abilities as well as the capacity of my stomach. this year I celebrated his life by way of 30 consecutive days of being AF and still counting 38 CAF days

Sending you some love and hugs :l

[halfway content]

Newbies Nest

I am so sorry for your pain, Nursie. Your post about your brother a few weeks ago was what sparked me to register here and to commit to 30 days. I wish I had some words of wisdom to make his birthday more endurable for you. Just talk to him, remember him and listen to the message he sends you.

[Persephone1]

Newbies Nest

Hey Gang, Network has a thread: Need Help ~ seems as though they may need immediate support. Calling Senior Members, your expertise is much appreciated. Any, all support is! They have been advised of the NN as well. Take care all...

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe;1477400 wrote: I feel ya Nursie, ironically my 30 day quit fell on March 5 which would have been my Dads Birthday, I promise I did not plan my quit that way, but I couldn't help feel like he was watching over me.
I know he would kick my butt for living the way I was living my life by not living it.
Your brother wouldn't want that for you either. So stay strong and do something amazing to celebrate his life. I try to do something different each year. My Dad loved lemon meringue pie, last year I made one from scratch and ate the WHOLE thing by myself. :H. I was pretty impressed with my baking abilities as well as the capacity of my stomach. this year I celebrated his life by way of 30 consecutive days of being AF and still counting 38 CAF days

Sending you some love and hugs :l

Hi Nursie, :l

Lord I'm so sorry. Loosing a sibling...unimaginable. :h

My husband just got the news last night that his best friend of 27 years died of a massive heart attack. He was devasted by the news. He cried , sobbed most of the night. He was a little better this morning.

Last night I thought of asking him if he wanted a drink. That I wouldn't mind...and honestly I wouldn't have. But I could see that the thought of AL was not anywhere in his orbit.

Nursie, I say this I think because we simply aren't like that. If my my best friend died i know that drinking would be right impn my face. maybe a some point we were like my husband, but we aren't now. I know though, that we will get back to that....back to the garden, so to speak.

Thinking of you, my friend. :l

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

halfway content;1477403 wrote: I am so sorry for your pain, Nursie. Your post about your brother a few weeks ago was what sparked me to register here and to commit to 30 days. I wish I had some words of wisdom to make his birthday more endurable for you. Just talk to him, remember him and listen to the message he sends you.

Well, now. There's a very bright spot in all of this. I am quite sure that knowing that her honesty somehow helped another person will be uplifting to nursie. :h

/thanks for the concern everybody - still blurry. But the big font helped - NS - :H

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

goodmorning!
i am soooooo tired today. DANGER....need to stay connected with HALT symptoms - hungry, angry, lonely or tired = weak = dangerous potential to let AL win......
Plan: go to work, don't stay late, come home with take out dinner for kids so I don't have to cook and clean, watch movie, go to sleep EARLY.....

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1476950 wrote: Actually ISIC, I felt pretty awful for a couple weeks - physically (cold, tired), mentally (foggy, tired), and emotionally (all over the charts). I continue to feel better some days than others but overall, I am so happy about this life change that the ups and downs are worth it. And I think they are normal. It is important to work on your attitude, concentrate on whatever you are grateful for, do things you enjoy, and treat yourself well. But don't beat yourself up more - you are starting to recover from a horrible, debilitating addiction. I tend to have a controlling , type A personality - this challenge is teaching me patience. That is one of the many new things I am grateful for.

I am trying to just BE and accept how I feel each day without judgment. I know this sounds all New Agey, which I generally am not , but all my failures trying to force changes have made me realize I just need to make myself available to the changes that are happening. Part of that work is reading as much as I can here and trying to help others who are struggling with the same enemy.

Please try to be kind to yourself without trying to force yourself to feel a particular way. NS

Aah.... This was so helpful to me today!

I had a really good, positive day yesterday, but today was really dark and hard emotionally.

I ended up having some really dark low feelings of self- loathing and ended up in the bathroom crying so hard I almost vomited.

But I think it was a day and feelings that needed to be and I needed to feel and acknowledge those feelings rather than sweeping them aside or covering them up.

I went to an AA meeting at the church where I was dropping off clothing donations, and while I am still not sure about AA it was good to connect with people here.

When I got home I found my day of ups and downs hadn't finished as my husband had bought me a bunch of flowers.... Which was lovely.... And wanted to celebrate by drinking a bottle of wine together. I drank sparkling water while he drank the wine, and sat there with him even though it was one of the hardest things I've done. I could almost taste the wine and so many times was close to giving in.... But I knew that I could imagine myself gulping the wine not sipping... And I was kidding myself if I thought differently.

[Snowflake]

Newbies Nest

Hat Trick (Nearly)

Just flying quickly into the Newbies Nest to say another huge thanks to all who congratulated me on my 30 days AF - your kind thoughts and wishes are very much appreciated. Lot's going on in the Nest today, as usual, so I won't block it up...

And?.. I don't want to brag but........ K9Lover bestowed me a second hat - I am absolutely chuffed! I'm keeping it for special days such as Sunday's and Birthday's - Thanks so much K9:h, it was ever so thoughtful of you!

Wishing everyone all the best for an AF day today.

Love Snowflake
AF Day 32

[Snowflake]

Newbies Nest

Well Done Blossoms

Just seen your mail Blossoms ? I?m so sorry you are having a bad day and hope that you are feeling a little bit better now. Hang in there - and well done, in fact extremely well done, for not caving in whilst you had a huge challenge thrust in front of you ? WOW - great job!

Sending lots of courage and best wishes your way.

Snow X

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Snowflake;1477534 wrote: Just seen your mail Blossoms ? I?m so sorry you are having a bad day and hope that you are feeling a little bit better now. Hang in there - and well done, in fact extremely well done, for not caving in whilst you had a huge challenge thrust in front of you ? WOW - great job!

Sending lots of courage and best wishes your way.

Snow X

Thankyou😊 Thank you so very much for that.

I'm feeling quite a bit better - After a bath and chocolate icecream and taking myself off to bed.

Thank you for the courage along with the best wishes. I think I used up a lot of my stores of courage today.... I can use the top up 😁