Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe;1477623 wrote: Nice call Nosugar....I didn't even think about hooking her and Nursie up. How are you doing today?

Hi, OneRed! Good to 'see' you. I am on one of those darn low-energy days where EVERYTHING seems like a ton of work (here is an example: I need to SCAN A DOCUMENT - can you even imagine getting something like that done :H ). Well...here it sits waiting for me to do it... I would rather write to you!

Here is an interesting thing that came to me the other day: I was reading the posts of all the people beginning day 1 on 3/11 (Hi y'all!) and felt sort of an envy of their camaraderie and excitement (luckily I wasn't inclined to sabotage myself and join them!!) but it made me think about the somewhat boring stage of addiction recovery some of us currently are in. Each day isn't the white-knuckle struggle of the earlier days and yet, at least I definitely am not to the point where AL isn't even on my mind and an AF life is totally normal. I think about 'not drinking' often! But now it is just a fact/reminder, not a formidable challenge.

Anyway, those of us who are over a hill but not even approaching the mountain top need to stick together and try not to repeat those early days, even if they were strangely exciting.

Hope you're doing well, NS

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1477634 wrote: Hi, OneRed! Good to 'see' you. I am on one of those darn low-energy days where EVERYTHING seems like a ton of work (here is an example: I need to SCAN A DOCUMENT - can you even imagine getting something like that done :H ). Well...here it sits waiting for me to do it... I would rather write to you!

Here is an interesting thing that came to me the other day: I was reading the posts of all the people beginning day 1 on 3/11 (Hi y'all!) and felt sort of an envy of their camaraderie and excitement (luckily I wasn't inclined to sabotage myself and join them!!) but it made me think about the somewhat boring stage of addiction recovery some of us currently are in. Each day isn't the white-knuckle struggle of the earlier days and yet, at least I definitely am not to the point where AL isn't even on my mind and an AF life is totally normal. I think about 'not drinking' often! But now it is just a fact/reminder, not a formidable challenge.

Anyway, those of us who are over a hill but not even approaching the mountain top need to stick together and try not to repeat those early days, even if they were strangely exciting.

Hope you're doing well, NS

NS..... I am glad you brought this up cos after day 30 there is a dulled battle for a while. There are no massive desires to drink but you are not yet feeling WELL.

I found my moods were all over the place, I was hypersensitive, still very fatigued and moods would last 3 or 4 days, both very good and very bad. This is a reflection of the deeper healing that is occurring but it can be quite scary if you start to fear it will never end.

It does end......for me I hit four months and BAM! I felt wonderful and continue to improve.

This may be a good time to look at joining a daily abstainance thread as well as checking in here.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kuya!! I want to go back and find that post you did about posting! It was golden! It may help Katie and the other brand new newbies....let me go look, now when was that?? B

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Oh Nonamegirl - Thankyou so much! I feel really close to you too You were pretty much the first person to welcome me to the whole site as you helped me in my own thread, and it's just wonderful that we are just one day apart. I love that We can form a little mini club
We will make it till the cherry blossoms bloom!

You know I didn't think about my deep sadness and gut wrenching crying yesterday about what a screw up I am was grief related...... But the timing was probably not a coincidence.
I've just woken up and am feeling okay. Kind of still tired and frail, but also much lighter and more free - I feel like I am breathing more easily.

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar - I for one am glad you are choosing to post here rather than scan the stupid document Your words really helped me yesterday.

As the queen of procrastination ( I earned this crown!) I know how even the simplest things can seem to hard I try all kinds of strategies to trick my brain into action .... Like breaking a task down into smaller steps ( hmmm.... Scanning a document doesn't have many steps), using timers and rewards.

[FallenAngel]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1477634 wrote:
Here is an interesting thing that came to me the other day: I was reading the posts of all the people beginning day 1 on 3/11 (Hi y'all!) and felt sort of an envy of their camaraderie and excitement (luckily I wasn't inclined to sabotage myself and join them!!) but it made me think about the somewhat boring stage of addiction recovery some of us currently are in. Each day isn't the white-knuckle struggle of the earlier days and yet, at least I definitely am not to the point where AL isn't even on my mind and an AF life is totally normal. I think about 'not drinking' often! But now it is just a fact/reminder, not a formidable challenge.

Anyway, those of us who are over a hill but not even approaching the mountain top need to stick together and try not to repeat those early days, even if they were strangely exciting.

Hope you're doing well, NS

Hi NoSugar,
Maybe this might help you in your current stage:


In-between
by Melody Beattie

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.

One of the hardest parts of growth is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for them to be filled.

This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in-between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need first to let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is nothing in the bush.

Being in-between can apply to many areas of life and growth. We can be in-between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in-between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life such as care-taking and controlling.

We may have many feelings going on when we're in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

Being in-between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in-between place. It's how we get from there to here. It is not the destination. We are moving forward, even when we're in-between.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dang, I have been looking for this post ever since....it is on page #3017, post #30161 and written by Kuya:


There are a few currently struggling to STAY on this AF path, and I am always looking for common reasons to explain differences between us all. After all, it is the same drug in the same human bodies so what other factors may be at play?

I was reminded by seeing a member, who has been absent for a while, of advice we commonly give new folk when they arrive. We say read, read, read and post, post, post. Now that makes logical sense but I wondered if it actually affected successful outcomes. Obviously we can't know if people are reading a lot and not posting, but the daily average of posting IS available to us.

I spent a little time crunching some figures ( I am known for being a statistics bore! ) and guess what? It is true!

MEMBERS WHO MAKE AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN ONE POST A DAY STRUGGLE TO GET OR STAY ALCOHOL FREE.

You can find your own stat on your profile page.

Now there are members using outside support and therefore won't need to post as often BUT when I looked at people I know who only use MWO for support and have quit relatively easily their daily average is high, from our stoical Patrick at 2.73 posts per day through to our effervescent Hippyman at 33.

This is not a talisman of success, there are a couple of high rate posters who struggle, but there were no posters under one that were successful at getting sober.

I believe that formulating your thoughts into written word changes your brain's perception. Reading and then posting, initially for ourselves and later to help others, repetitively reinforces the message 'I DON'T DRINK'.

I expect some will respond that they aren't able to post more often due to worldly responsibilities ......... But the stark truth for many is if this disease progresses you won't HAVE any worldly responsibilities.

I have been posting on MWO nearly six months and sober nearly five, I average 5 posts a day. Instead of vegging in front of the TV with a half litre of vodka I come on here. It is saving my life, I have made friends here. I also hope I am helping to save lives.

So I repeat the advice, read, read, read and POST,POST,POST.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Katie!

You are in the best place...the support, kindness and experience here is amazing. Whatever you're going through/thinking/wishing/avoiding we've all been there and done that! Nothing shocks us, so feel free to let those beans spill! As our wise Byrdie said...POST, POST, POST...the more we can get to know you, the better we can help you (and vice-versa!)

I'm glad you're here!!

K9

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

I think I am on day 1 today, having completed 24 hours AF. I think.

Boy, never again.

Thanks to you all for keeping me held up by your helpful words.

I really thought I'd never consume again. It just hit me so hard. It was like something took control of me. I did learn how awful an official relapse is.

I'm feeling better. But a bit scared about the feeling like I was not in control of myself.

Thanks again for your help.
-S-

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Laststraw, so glad you are back on the bandwagon... relapses are a B!#ch! Get your plan in place and make that your last straw!!! I did and so glad of it. Whatever got you this last time, shore up the walls in that area! If you look hard enough, you will find what brought you down. AL brings nothing good anymore...it's all just the same ole sad story!! Hop on up and make yourself comfy! Like Hippy says, This time 4 sure!! B

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Just like Brydie said...POST, POST, POST! Just let it out and then let it begin to heal!

Byrdlady;1477695 wrote: Dang, I have been looking for this post ever since....it is on page #3017, post #30161 and written by Kuya:


There are a few currently struggling to STAY on this AF path, and I am always looking for common reasons to explain differences between us all. After all, it is the same drug in the same human bodies so what other factors may be at play?

I was reminded by seeing a member, who has been absent for a while, of advice we commonly give new folk when they arrive. We say read, read, read and post, post, post. Now that makes logical sense but I wondered if it actually affected successful outcomes. Obviously we can't know if people are reading a lot and not posting, but the daily average of posting IS available to us.

I spent a little time crunching some figures ( I am known for being a statistics bore! ) and guess what? It is true!

MEMBERS WHO MAKE AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN ONE POST A DAY STRUGGLE TO GET OR STAY ALCOHOL FREE.

You can find your own stat on your profile page.

Now there are members using outside support and therefore won't need to post as often BUT when I looked at people I know who only use MWO for support and have quit relatively easily their daily average is high, from our stoical Patrick at 2.73 posts per day through to our effervescent Hippyman at 33.

This is not a talisman of success, there are a couple of high rate posters who struggle, but there were no posters under one that were successful at getting sober.

I believe that formulating your thoughts into written word changes your brain's perception. Reading and then posting, initially for ourselves and later to help others, repetitively reinforces the message 'I DON'T DRINK'.

I expect some will respond that they aren't able to post more often due to worldly responsibilities ......... But the stark truth for many is if this disease progresses you won't HAVE any worldly responsibilities.

I have been posting on MWO nearly six months and sober nearly five, I average 5 posts a day. Instead of vegging in front of the TV with a half litre of vodka I come on here. It is saving my life, I have made friends here. I also hope I am helping to save lives.

So I repeat the advice, read, read, read and POST,POST,POST.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1477634 wrote: Hi, OneRed! Good to 'see' you. I am on one of those darn low-energy days where EVERYTHING seems like a ton of work (here is an example: I need to SCAN A DOCUMENT - can you even imagine getting something like that done :H ). Well...here it sits waiting for me to do it... I would rather write to you!

Here is an interesting thing that came to me the other day: I was reading the posts of all the people beginning day 1 on 3/11 (Hi y'all!) and felt sort of an envy of their camaraderie and excitement (luckily I wasn't inclined to sabotage myself and join them!!) but it made me think about the somewhat boring stage of addiction recovery some of us currently are in. Each day isn't the white-knuckle struggle of the earlier days and yet, at least I definitely am not to the point where AL isn't even on my mind and an AF life is totally normal. I think about 'not drinking' often! But now it is just a fact/reminder, not a formidable challenge.

Anyway, those of us who are over a hill but not even approaching the mountain top need to stick together and try not to repeat those early days, even if they were strangely exciting.

Hope you're doing well, NS

Hey....I am having a weird day, unusually relaxing, I haven't "had"to do a single thing, I don't feel like I normally do rush rush rushing all around like a chicken with my head cut off and accomplishing absolutely nothing, I have been busy all day and have knocked my tasks out but didn't stress about it. I feel content today, far from the other day when I was angry. Thank goodness for your post that day. We are at the "boring" stage....for the most part I feel relief and contentment, well for today at least , who the heck knows what emotions tomorrow will bring. :H. All I can guarantee is that Alcohol will NOT be starring in my life. So good to talk "at" you Nosugar......gt your scanning done.

Love and Hugs :l

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Last straw - so glad to see you back You sound a bit better in your post - which is so good. S

Katie - welcome I am very new but being here has made a difference to me.

I think the advice about posting is really good. I pulled back a little from posting, and it took me a while to post how I was feeling when I was so low, but I really think it helped so much.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1477695 wrote: Dang, I have been looking for this post ever since....it is on page #3017, post #30161 and written by Kuya:


There are a few currently struggling to STAY on this AF path, and I am always looking for common reasons to explain differences between us all. After all, it is the same drug in the same human bodies so what other factors may be at play?

I was reminded by seeing a member, who has been absent for a while, of advice we commonly give new folk when they arrive. We say read, read, read and post, post, post. Now that makes logical sense but I wondered if it actually affected successful outcomes. Obviously we can't know if people are reading a lot and not posting, but the daily average of posting IS available to us.

I spent a little time crunching some figures ( I am known for being a statistics bore! ) and guess what? It is true!

MEMBERS WHO MAKE AN AVERAGE OF LESS THAN ONE POST A DAY STRUGGLE TO GET OR STAY ALCOHOL FREE.

You can find your own stat on your profile page.

Now there are members using outside support and therefore won't need to post as often BUT when I looked at people I know who only use MWO for support and have quit relatively easily their daily average is high, from our stoical Patrick at 2.73 posts per day through to our effervescent Hippyman at 33.

This is not a talisman of success, there are a couple of high rate posters who struggle, but there were no posters under one that were successful at getting sober.

I believe that formulating your thoughts into written word changes your brain's perception. Reading and then posting, initially for ourselves and later to help others, repetitively reinforces the message 'I DON'T DRINK'.

I expect some will respond that they aren't able to post more often due to worldly responsibilities ......... But the stark truth for many is if this disease progresses you won't HAVE any worldly responsibilities.

I have been posting on MWO nearly six months and sober nearly five, I average 5 posts a day. Instead of vegging in front of the TV with a half litre of vodka I come on here. It is saving my life, I have made friends here. I also hope I am helping to save lives.

So I repeat the advice, read, read, read and POST,POST,POST.

This is so true! I had tried quitting before,fell off the wagon, couldn't figure out what the heck I was doing wrong....Kuya gently pointed out to me when I came back tucking my tail in shame, that my lack of posting most likely had been my biggest mistake for my last unsuccessful quit. This literally changed the course of my life, I am now 39 consecutive AF days, posting really and truly did make a HUGE difference!!!!!!

Read, read, read, and POST! POST! POST! It will make all the difference.

[halfway content]

Newbies Nest

Back home for the night. I talked to a friend who I was with last night and she said she noticed that I did not have any wine during the evening. She wondered if I was feeling okay. I really do have friends who care about me- they just don't know about the secret shots. They can sip on one glass for three hours, I can't. Those are the hard, cold facts. Moving onto Friday! We can still say TGIF, can't we?

Warm wishes to all.