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    Newbies Nest

    I have successfully executed my plan that I posted this morning. Dinner over, movie time and bed.
    so tired!! And the cravings are much worse when I am tired. Isn't that weird? I mean, alcohol has a reputation for RELAXING you....so why when I am extra tired, do I want to drink more? It is a rhetorical question and I don't need the answer. I just need to be aware that it happens. The goal is not to figure out WHY being tired increases the cravings...the goal is not NOT DRINK despite the cravings!!

    Just typing that makes me feel stronger!!!
    I just won't anymore

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      Newbies Nest

      Thanks, It's good to be back

      -S-

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        Newbies Nest

        I can't believe that I forgot how restoring a walk is! (slap forehead)! Although I live in an urban area, I'm just steps away from parks, a river, a lake . . . I walk everywhere basically, but stopped doing it for the sheer enjoyment. Tonight I walked again. THERE ARE BUDS ON THE TREES!!! I saw 2 guys standing on the ice and fishing. (Hello? Don't you know you can fall into a 30 foot lake? duh). There was an enormous flock (swarm? wave?) of seagulls in a spectacular swoon and dive across the entire lake. It was pretty darn good. Nothing takes you out of yourself like Mother Nature. Have a good night everyone. 311's - I'll see you on Day 5.
        10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

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          Newbies Nest

          You sound stronger laststraw! How are you feeling? What's your plan for keeping AL out of your life tonight?

          Keep strong 311'ers! 3 more sleeps till we get our full moons!
          Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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            Newbies Nest

            I didn't buy anymore-have no intention to buy any again.

            Thanks for asking.
            -S-

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              Newbies Nest

              I'm Strong and in Control;1477797 wrote: I can't believe that I forgot how restoring a walk is! (slap forehead)! Although I live in an urban area, I'm just steps away from parks, a river, a lake . . . I walk everywhere basically, but stopped doing it for the sheer enjoyment. Tonight I walked again. THERE ARE BUDS ON THE TREES!!! I saw 2 guys standing on the ice and fishing. (Hello? Don't you know you can fall into a 30 foot lake? duh). There was an enormous flock (swarm? wave?) of seagulls in a spectacular swoon and dive across the entire lake. It was pretty darn good. Nothing takes you out of yourself like Mother Nature. Have a good night everyone. 311's - I'll see you on Day 5.
              I actually took my Maggie for a run today. I walk her everyday but have forgotten how much I miss running. It sure felt good, it was beautiful outside today, I love being outside! It does something to me, something for me.
              "Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles that nobody knows about".
              ~Author Unknown
              AF since February 4, 2013

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                Newbies Nest

                thelaststraw;1477817 wrote: I didn't buy anymore-have no intention to buy any again.

                Thanks for asking.
                -S-
                Good! And soo good to see you back. How are you feeling sick wise? (Sore throat? Etc you know.....)
                "Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles that nobody knows about".
                ~Author Unknown
                AF since February 4, 2013

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Hi Everyone,
                  So much going on in the nest! Have I told you all lately how much I love you?
                  Halfway, you warmed my heart and soul to know that my post inspired you to make the plunge and get started. That truly means so much to me and I'm thankful you shared it. I wonder which post it was.

                  Katie, welcome to our safe haven! Yes, you and I have similar stories and I would love to get to know you and make something good out of our losses.

                  Kuya, you have a gifted way with words. I like your style.

                  Thank you all for sharing this big comfy nest. I'm sprinkling sober dust for us for a peaceful and sober sleep.
                  Day 1 again 11/5/19
                  Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
                  Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
                  Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
                  11/27/19: messed up but back on track
                  12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

                  One day at a time.

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Hi Nest. I'm back and very sad. I don't know why I can't seem to overcome this horrible addiction. I have been here many times before and obtained some days/weeks and even months of sobriety but as soon as I start feeling good again, I go back to my old self destructive behaviours, and the next thing I know I'm drinking a bottle of wine every night and sometimes more.

                    I feel awful and I just want this cycle to end. For today, I just need to focus on getting through it, but sometimes I wonder if I will have this problem forever.

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Morning Nesters! My first good sleep in a while - since the last time I quit really. I actually got tired at an appropriate time, went up to bed, watched some Netflix, fell asleep, and stayed asleep most of the night.

                      As an aside, does anyone else watch House of Cards? My new addiction, I suppose.

                      For some reason a quote that I used to use as a signature on fb popped into my mind this morning:

                      "Dwell in peace in the home of your own being, and the Messenger of Death will not be able to touch you." - Guru Nanak

                      The idea of dwelling in peace in the home of my own being is so attractive to me right now. Isn't that what we are all striving for - to be at peace with ourselves? If we achieve that, then AL doesn't stand a chance. I guess I have my topic for meditation today. Anyone else have any thoughts about this?

                      Happy Friday to one and all who visit the nest today.
                      Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Hi MyLife Welcome back! I know you're sad, but you have taken the first step to a new you. We all understand - I don't remember how many times I have tried to quit. I can't make it past 3 weeks, so the fact that you have been AF for months at a time is good news. You did it once, you can do it again.

                        So today is day 1 for you? Stick close here and read up on everyone. Post and share as much as you feel comfortable doing. Do you have a plan in place for staying sober today?
                        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          I was having tummy troubles yesterday, forced myself to eat. Today i woke up on time. But the feeling like crying all the time has hit me. Forgot about THAT part.

                          Anyway, onward. Screw AL. AL can take a flying leap off a tall building. Oh, wait---AL would just bounce, plastic bottle. Oh well.

                          -S-

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                            Newbies Nest

                            last straw....visualize a really expensive glass bottle of booze that would smash to smithereens.....and the tears will stop....that is just AL's way of trying to manipulate you into drinking.

                            my life: I could have written your post verbatim. I mean, it is scary how much we all think and feel alike because of AL.

                            So today is Friday. This will be, I think, my 6th weekend in a row (this time around) without AL..... I always used to use weekends as my excuse to throw whatever caution I had left to the wind. I would spend entire weekend either drunk or feeling AWFUL and hungover. NO MORE.

                            I need a plan to stay sober.

                            Today: go to work (jeans friday - yea!)
                            Tonight: go to women's only AA meeting. Drop off/pick up son at Bar Mitzvah...will be driving at 11pm tonight....that is new and exciting!! Used to be completely passed out by then. Only a recovering alcoholic would be excited about that

                            What is YOUR plan????
                            I just won't anymore

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Good morning friends,

                              Mylife, welcome back. I'm sorry that you are feeling sad right now, but maybe that is useful in some way, prompting you to do something about it. It was useful for me. The flip side is that the depression and anxiety really lift away after a few months and the moods level right out. After being AF for a little while, I really started to feel a complete incompatibility with alcohol; AF is the state I am chemically/psychologically predisposed to be in. That in itself is a huge freedom, and all I have to do is never drink to feel this way. Sorry to ramble, I just wanted to send you some support. There really is a silver lining.

                              Siren, loved the quote. It reminds me of a quote from the old tv show Kung Fu. The master, speaking to grasshopper says "he who truly knows how to live has no room for death". Thanks for posting that!

                              Have a great AF day!
                              "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
                              AF 11/12/11

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Hi all
                                After my trying day yesterday I got rewarded with a nice, busy but easy day today

                                After my morning doctors appointment I was on my way to go to an AA meeting, but never ended up there because the train ended up stopped because there was someone walking around on the tracks somewhere up the line. Luckily I was at a station that I could easily catch another line home, so I gave up on the meeting because I knew that I could come here as my support

                                Instead I ended up going for a really nice walk. It was a beautiful day and I visited a beautiful historical temple complex in my neighbourhood and a "forest" park just near that .... Gave my thanks for the help I have been given and took some photos of early blooming cherry blossoms

                                I went home for a while and then as soon as my daughter came home from school (they had an early finish) I went out for an afternoon date with her. She can be a lot of fun to hang out with, so we had a nice afternoon
                                My husband has a work project to finish so there is no pressure to drink.... So that's all easier too

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