Newbies Nest

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Thanks NoSugar! :thanks: I like the NoSugar idea too as I really think Alcohol/Sugar addictions are related somehow! However, I'm letting myself have a little sugar for the time being.

I know 90 days is ambitions - but I've made it to 60+ days in the past - so I'm trying to get past that to a point of no return this time. I am motivated, but I really don't think that's the problem with me. For some reason, I just impulsively "give up" at some point along the journey, and I need to figure out why I do that. ??! So stupid, I know, which is why I'm seriously thinking brain damage!!

I will stick with the reading and posting and try to get my life back on track.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon, nesters! Good to see everyone!
Mylife, I hope you can get your mojo going for your quit. It is a mindset. Relapse isn't a normal part of recovery at all...that's why you have us! Set your mind to Zero Tolerance and stick with it...no matter what and no matter who.

This is really a great point to make. What is the use of our site here if not to learn by the experience of others. By way of MWO, we can see the past, present and future. As much as we would all like to think we are different, the way I see it is that we are much more ALIKE than different. We all got here the same way. We all now have the same goal. We all want our lives back. If your goal is to be able to look at a drink and not even want it, you can attain that. If your goal is to learn how to control AL and drink again, I don't think any of us can help you...we are all past that point (in my opinion). Somehow, AL has taken over our lives...and the only way to control it is to deny its food supply. This is the only way...one drink keeps it alive. ONE drink, or one night of drinking will never be enough for us! So set your mind to NO SIPS. Sips, lead to Slips which lead to Slides. Zero Tolerance. It's the mindset you need to succeed! Imagine the freedom to be able to finally look at AL for what it is. It is poisonous venom to us. No thanks! I will die of other causes!!

Please stay the course...and this time, do NOT give in...no matter what and no matter who! You can outsmart a stinkin craving! All you gotta do is get thru this day!! Byrdie

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Everyone
ok so here how it goes , I got a nasty phone call.. as you all know I am trying to find rights to the the home.. I talked to the magistrate it all favors woman I said I live In the the unicorpated area of the NC SC area ... I have live here since 12 years old.. she ran off with another man I took to the bottle and said cruel sayings in my texting. Alcohol only works what gives.... I go for a week get a call and go right to that dang bottle if you all don't know embarrassing as it is yes my fianc? of 5 years left me for another man

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

mylife;1478526 wrote: ... I am motivated, but I really don't think that's the problem with me. For some reason, I just impulsively "give up" at some point along the journey, and I need to figure out why I do that. ??! So stupid, I know, which is why I'm seriously thinking brain damage!!

I will stick with the reading and posting and try to get my life back on track.

Hi, again, MyLife

When you quit the other times using MWO, did you read and post often?

When I started here in January, I thought this was a LAST CHANCE or DIE kind of thing and thought that if I failed to control/stop my AL intake, that was the end.

I think it was voracious MWO reading and frequent posting (with apologies to fellow newbies who have read my ramblings more often than necessary ) that flipped some switches in my brain. Perhaps it is a form of brainwashing but at this point, that is fine with me. Wash away!!!:

It takes an amazing amount of time but hey -- I had 6 extra hours each day to do something so it might as well be this!!

If you have made a habit of posting often, perhaps when/if you hit that "give up" point, it will seem natural to come here and talk about it here BEFORE you make that mistake. You don't sound like damaged goods to me -- you sound like someone who knows how to kick AL off your back and just needs some help not letting him climb back on. We're here to do that!!

Be strong, MyLife!

- NS

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1478305 wrote: Just got back from my women's AA meeting. Husband and older son have left for the weekend. As I was driving home, I thought "wow, I could go and buy a bottle and drink it and no one would know"......Where the hell did THAT come from???? OMG, how scary. Then I thought, wait a minute, I am picking my son up from his bar Mitzvah at 11. Then I really thought it through and realize how completely insane that thinking was. It really scared the shit out of me. Here I am happily going along with all my plans and positive thoughts about not drinking and BAM out of the blue that thought comes to my mind.
AL is INSANE.
Home safe and sound and completely happy to be sober.
Stay strong everyone!

Jenni......was reading through the posts and this caught my eye.

If you remember tell me .......after your AA meeting ...... Were you Hungry? Hunger is the ONLY feeling I can now say MIMICS wanting a drink. It is an old echo of my anorexic past.

I now laugh at it, and can ignore it if eating is not possible, but in the early days hunger should be answered IMMEDIATELY ....... which can be an effort for some of us with poor attitudes to eating.

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

Bobbyslife;1478542 wrote: Hello Everyone
ok so here how it goes , I got a nasty phone call.. as you all know I am trying to find rights to the the home.. I talked to the magistrate it all favors woman I said I live In the the unicorpated area of the NC SC area ... I have live here since 12 years old.. she ran off with another man I took to the bottle and said cruel sayings in my texting. Alcohol only works what gives.... I go for a week get a call and go right to that dang bottle if you all don't know embarrassing as it is yes my fianc? of 5 years left me for another man

Bobby. I think that if I were in your shoes I would try a pill that would stop me from being able to drink. Anatbuse taken daily will make sure that alcohol can not rule your world. The Antabuse would give you some guaranteed sober time to make a life plan that doesn't include drinking.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1478546 wrote: Hi, again, MyLife

When you quit the other times using MWO, did you read and post often?

When I started here in January, I thought this was a LAST CHANCE or DIE kind of thing and thought that if I failed to control/stop my AL intake, that was the end.

I think it was voracious MWO reading and frequent posting (with apologies to fellow newbies who have read my ramblings more often than necessary ) that flipped some switches in my brain. Perhaps it is a form of brainwashing but at this point, that is fine with me. Wash away!!!:

It takes an amazing amount of time but hey -- I had 6 extra hours each day to do something so it might as well be this!!

If you have made a habit of posting often, perhaps when/if you hit that "give up" point, it will seem natural to come here and talk about it here BEFORE you make that mistake. You don't sound like damaged goods to me -- you sound like someone who knows how to kick AL off your back and just needs some help not letting him climb back on. We're here to do that!!

Be strong, MyLife!

- NS

No Sugar, it never ceases to amaze me that people are willing to waste many hours per day or week consuming alcohol but think it excessive to spend half that time here getting well.

I am nearly seven months sober, I check in morning and evening, post and PM friends, often pop in through the day. At the same time I run a business, home and raise my daughter alone. I exercise , socialise and have fun with my family. I look on the time I spend here as an investment and a pay forward.

Reading through today's posts it is clear that what is important is to just continue staying sober until the brain is healed enough to WANT to stay sober.

I now CHOOSE to be sober, not because I HAVE to but because I WANT to. I am not afraid to drink anymore, it is just that every time I think about it I cannot remember ANYTHING good that resulted from it, honestly folks......NOTHING.

Really, folks, WHY did we get drunk??? I can't remember. ( Answers on a postcard, please )

( some talk about the 'buzz', but really I could go sit on a child's runabout and get the same buzz. Maybe that is where we all went wrong, we stopped being childlike and listened to those who said 'drink this poison' it will make you feel childlike again )

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Kuya - you are right. WHY would anyone choose to get drunk? It is a miserable, lonely and painful (physically and emotionally) experience.

NoSugar - I saw the post the other day about reading and posting. Maybe you're on to something - maybe it helps to brainwash away that desire. Anyway, it's nice to have this place for support as no one in my life currently can relate to this problem...and I'm happy for them that they can't.

Byrdie - your posts are all nuggets of inspiration.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Ku and NS, you make a great point...I make this place a priority. I check in first thing in the morning and last thing at night and tune in during the day. I think it is critical especially in the early days. I have never lost my connection with the nest, even when I travel for business or pleasure. I always read. No matter what. Could I go out on my own now and not check in so much? I don't know, and I'm not willing to find out...I love it here and discussing this thing we have...because NOBODY else gets it. The whole world is trying to get us to drink, so we are swimming upstream on this one. It is important to get reinforcement from others like me who must buck the norm.
Staying connected is another tool for us. Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1478619 wrote: Ku and NS, you make a great point...I make this place a priority. I check in first thing in the morning and last thing at night and tune in during the day. I think it is critical especially in the early days. I have never lost my connection with the nest, even when I travel for business or pleasure. I always read. No matter what. Could I go out on my own now and not check in so much? I don't know, and I'm not willing to find out...I love it here and discussing this thing we have...because NOBODY else gets it. The whole world is trying to get us to drink, so we are swimming upstream on this one. It is important to get reinforcement from others like me who must buck the norm.
Staying connected is another tool for us. Byrdie

Hi, Kuya and Byrdie

Here is an added bonus of hanging out in the nest -- it is a really great group of friends (even if they do have rather odd names ! ) -- and occasionally the nest even has the chance to be a pretty fun and funny place.

Where are all those other friends, today, by the way? Hope they are doing something more interesting than I am, which is working on TAXES!!!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1478619 wrote: Ku and NS, you make a great point...I make this place a priority. I check in first thing in the morning and last thing at night and tune in during the day. I think it is critical especially in the early days. I have never lost my connection with the nest, even when I travel for business or pleasure. I always read. No matter what. Could I go out on my own now and not check in so much? I don't know, and I'm not willing to find out...I love it here and discussing this thing we have...because NOBODY else gets it. The whole world is trying to get us to drink, so we are swimming upstream on this one. It is important to get reinforcement from others like me who must buck the norm.
Staying connected is another tool for us. Byrdie

I have said it before and will say it again, and again.

I invested four hours a night, every night, for 23 years to becoming an alcoholic.

Surely investing a few hours a day for a couple of years is a small price to pay to recover. We are learning, or relearning a new skill.

If I had been a competent figure skater and took twenty three years off, got fat, lazy and depressed, then decided to restart I would easily expect it to take a couple of years to regain my former prowess.

Yet some come here and expect to be fixed in days......an attitude that is not realistic and guaranteed to risk relapse due to frustration at the slower than expected progress.

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1478628 wrote: I have said it before and will say it again, and again.

I invested four hours a night, every night, for 23 years to becoming an alcoholic.

Surely investing a few hours a day for a couple of years is a small price to pay to recover. We are learning, or relearning a new skill.

If I had been a competent figure skater and took twenty three years off, got fat, lazy and depressed, then decided to restart I would easily expect it to take a couple of years to regain my former prowess.

Yet some come here and expect to be fixed in days......an attitude that is not realistic and guaranteed to risk relapse due to frustration at the slower than expected progress.

Got to hand it to you, KY, you make a good point!

[spiderwoman]

Newbies Nest

mylife;1478445 wrote: It's amazing for me, anyway, even the FIRST night with no Alcohol in my system I feel better. No night sweats, no panicking, no 3:00 a.m.....how many times do I have to realize this??!! I'm seriously starting to realize I must have suffered some serious brain damage from this drinking. They really should start posting the warnings on bottles of wine as they do with cigarettes - "Drinking this will cause serious BRAIN DAMAGE and inevitable DEATH!"

This morning I told my brain that I'm sorry, but you're being shut off for 90 days. I don't care what you say or do - you are being ignored as unreliable until all effects of Alcohol have completely been removed from your circuits or synapses or whatever is malfunctioning up there. I'm letting my survival instinct take over for 90 days and override whatever my alcoholic brain tries to tell it.

Ninety days seems like forever at forst MyLife but you'll be amazed how quickly you get to it if you can manage to distract yourself and enjoy other things instead. I haven't lost the weight I hoped to because I've eaten chocolate, had calorie laden soft drinks and anything else I fancied, its been a case of anything I want so long as its not alcoholic.

Be kind to yourself - you deserve it

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1478624 wrote: Hi, Kuya and Byrdie

Here is an added bonus of hanging out in the nest -- it is a really great group of friends (even if they do have rather odd names ! ) -- and occasionally the nest even has the chance to be a pretty fun and funny place.

Where are all those other friends, today, by the way? Hope they are doing something more interesting than I am, which is working on TAXES!!!

Ummmmmm......I am actually making my very first Corn Beef and Cabbage, well I just prepared everything to put in the crockpot. That is more interesting than taxes. :H:H:H

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

ugh
hard day.
husband is away so I am not accountable to any live being....just myself.
I am not going to drink but it has not been an easy day.
I just keep thinking that the way I am feeling NOW is WAY BETTER than spending all day tomorrow hungover. I have faced the fact that if I did pick up a drink, it would lead to many more. So thanks, but NO THANKS