Newbies Nest

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1478641 wrote: ugh
hard day.
husband is away so I am not accountable to any live being....just myself.
I am not going to drink but it has not been an easy day.
I just keep thinking that the way I am feeling NOW is WAY BETTER than spending all day tomorrow hungover. I have faced the fact that if I did pick up a drink, it would lead to many more. So thanks, but NO THANKS

You will never ever regret NOT drinking. Are you hungry or bored?

[spiderwoman]

Newbies Nest

You can do it jennie - I've been on the edge of temptation a lot because nobody but I would know, but like me, you're doing this for you and you'd know !

Keep chatting here and keep busy, it'll soon be tomorrow and you'll have notched up another AF day :goodjob:

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Spider and one red!!
Yes, I am both bored and hungry. But the dinner is in the oven and will be ready momentarily. And as for boredom, I am working through it. For example, I finally got around to cleaning the huge bunch of kale I bought a the farmers market; I reorganized the linen closet; I scrubbed outdoor cushion covers because I am DYING for nice weather; I folded about 6 loads of laundry; I went grocery shopping.....doesn't that all sound exciting? Actually, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Once I eat dinner, all will be good. The worst part is over. From about 4pm to 7pm is my worst craving time. There was an AA meeting at 7:15pm tonight but I didn't go because I didnt' trust myself to drive straight there and back. I was afraid I would talk myself into stopping at the liquor store!!! I am safe at home. My butt is firmly planted here....
Thanks for your support!!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Oh, and I bought some ice cream at the store.....1/2 the fat....(like that will make a big difference).....My favorite - peanut butter cup and caramel.....so I am really looking forward to that with my nightly camomile tea!!! It is nice to have something to look forward to

I figured it is Saturday night. I deserve a special treat!!

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,
I made it through my brother's birthday and am now home safe. I thank God and my ggod friends here that I am on Antabuse.
Hubby, kids and I went to a mall, tried to do some shopping and keep my mind busy. It was a mall my brother used to love. I went to his favorite stores and walked where he would have walked. We went out to eat and I ordered what I thought he would have liked. And then I saw a cupcake shop and we all got giant delicious cupcakes to celebrate his life.
I posted some things on Facebook, one of them being "I remember when Dave______" and everyone had to fill in the blank. Got some good laughs although many of them were alcohol related. Me bailing him out, him bailing me out, wrestling for the last beer, him answering the door to the neighbor stark naked with a beer in his hand, etc, etc, etc.
Then when we left, I didn't realize we would be driving past where his accident occurred. I saw the scraped concrete abutment where he hit, and where he landed. I got very shaky and weepy, and I wish I could have stopped, but there was too much traffic. I don't know where he was ejected, but I wish I could just sit there any cry.
I wanted a drink. I passed dozens of liquor stores on the way home. Thank you antabuse for saving my sobriety. And I am thankful that I put a barrier between me and alcohol. Eff you alcohol! You killed my brother!

I hope everyone else is ok. Sorry I'm a little self absorbed lately.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nursie, I am so sorry for your grief. I hate AL, too....this is a great place to be in our lives. His memory is a wonderful treasure. XO, B

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I kind of like it when I am alone these days - can eat dinner when it works for me, talk LONG baths and hog all the hot water, and go to bed weirdly early without seeming rude or asocial !

My husband is fine with whatever I do but I feel odd about spoiling myself so much and doing things pretty much my way all the time. It just isn't how 'the mom' usually functions while raising a family. But, I'm being 'the kid' for awhile, I guess. Plus, our kids are grown.

Glad to 'see' you guys. I was looking for tax-distraction earlier!!!

Your Irish dinner sounds good, OneRed.
Hey, Spider!! TWO days 'til a big day! Early congrats b/c I know you' ll make it.
Jennie, you've made a lot of good choices already - YEAH! Go enjoy having the 'big bed' all to yourself !

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Nursie,

What a hard day this must have been. I'm happy for you that you found ways to honor Dave and that you had your family with you.

It is wonderful that we have tools so that you can protect yourself from that strong desire to drink.

I hope you can sleep well tonight, Nursie.

NS

Nursie;1478648 wrote: Hi Everyone,
I made it through my brother's birthday and am now home safe. I thank God and my ggod friends here that I am on Antabuse.
Hubby, kids and I went to a mall, tried to do some shopping and keep my mind busy. It was a mall my brother used to love. I went to his favorite stores and walked where he would have walked. We went out to eat and I ordered what I thought he would have liked. And then I saw a cupcake shop and we all got giant delicious cupcakes to celebrate his life.
I posted some things on Facebook, one of them being "I remember when Dave______" and everyone had to fill in the blank. Got some good laughs although many of them were alcohol related. Me bailing him out, him bailing me out, wrestling for the last beer, him answering the door to the neighbor stark naked with a beer in his hand, etc, etc, etc.
Then when we left, I didn't realize we would be driving past where his accident occurred. I saw the scraped concrete abutment where he hit, and where he landed. I got very shaky and weepy, and I wish I could have stopped, but there was too much traffic. I don't know where he was ejected, but I wish I could just sit there any cry.
I wanted a drink. I passed dozens of liquor stores on the way home. Thank you antabuse for saving my sobriety. And I am thankful that I put a barrier between me and alcohol. Eff you alcohol! You killed my brother!

I hope everyone else is ok. Sorry I'm a little self absorbed lately.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hi friends- I have had a rough day myself, but made it through and could not have done it without the nest
I guess one thing I have to be thankful for is the fact that I know, without a doubt that if I give into temptation, I will be right back on the path to self destruction. I don't have any illusions of moderating at all. When I get tempted, like I have been lately, I can just go ahead and visualize how it's all gonna turn out- and it ain't pretty. I think that's the one thing (besides you guys) that keeps me hangin in. When is this going to feel better???
Xoxo star

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Hugs hugs hugs, Nursie!!!

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good evening friends,

Nursie, I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to send you some support.

Starfish, I remember some down patches right around 6 months too, and then lifting away with no explanation. I don't know if it is part of the "cycle" of being AF, or what, but not much else after that. They are certainly a bummer though! Hang in there!

Have a great AF Saturday night everyone! Thanks all for being here.

[Starfish1]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone, you don't know how much that helps me, Thank you!!! I have hope now!!! I needed that

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

Conehead Night

More than once today, I caught the little brat in my head planning to go to the bar tonight. She even decided in advance what she was going to order. Previously, I shared with the Nest my 'insurance policy' - conehead night. I take off all my make-up, bra, put on pjs and put leave-in conditioner in my hair until I look like a conehead. I can do a passable make up job in 5 minutes and be on a bar stool before I know it, but the hair is another story. I was in the grocery store when I remembered the plan and bought myself 2 gorgeous bunches of tulips as a treat. Sitting on the loveseat (got off the couch!) admiring my clean house and TULIPS and going to eat my popcorn and watch my movie. I rented "SMASHED" - if any of you read the book, you'll know how appropriate it is!!! Good night nesters - remember, when the urge hits - there is always CONEHEAD NIGHT!!!!

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Nursie;1478648 wrote: Hi Everyone,
I made it through my brother's birthday and am now home safe. I thank God and my ggod friends here that I am on Antabuse.
Hubby, kids and I went to a mall, tried to do some shopping and keep my mind busy. It was a mall my brother used to love. I went to his favorite stores and walked where he would have walked. We went out to eat and I ordered what I thought he would have liked. And then I saw a cupcake shop and we all got giant delicious cupcakes to celebrate his life.
I posted some things on Facebook, one of them being "I remember when Dave______" and everyone had to fill in the blank. Got some good laughs although many of them were alcohol related. Me bailing him out, him bailing me out, wrestling for the last beer, him answering the door to the neighbor stark naked with a beer in his hand, etc, etc, etc.
Then when we left, I didn't realize we would be driving past where his accident occurred. I saw the scraped concrete abutment where he hit, and where he landed. I got very shaky and weepy, and I wish I could have stopped, but there was too much traffic. I don't know where he was ejected, but I wish I could just sit there any cry.
I wanted a drink. I passed dozens of liquor stores on the way home. Thank you antabuse for saving my sobriety. And I am thankful that I put a barrier between me and alcohol. Eff you alcohol! You killed my brother!

I hope everyone else is ok. Sorry I'm a little self absorbed lately.

Oh wow! I had tears in my eyes reading this.
What lovely, lovely ways you found to remember your brother
That must have been very bittersweet to remember all those funny - yet ultimately sad - things about your brother because of the alcohol and the horrible waste of his life.

Oh and going past his accident site - how very hard that must have been for you. But I hope it ends up being healing - being there and crying for him.

So very well done not giving into those feelings of wanting a drink. You are amazing and strong and should be so proud of yourself!

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

nursie:h
I feel your pain....I'm sorry for your loss