Newbies Nest

[LittleLottie]

Newbies Nest

Alcohol problem!? Who me? Nooo, or have I? Hmm

:new:

Wow I'm really glad I stumbled across this site.

I simply googled 'I'm not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking' and I found the Tool Box with lots of great tips!

At first I didn't think I had a problem but after reading only a few posts I'm now beginning to realise I do actually have a problem otherwise I wouldn't be on here in the first place and wanting to give up.

I don't drink everyday and I can go for long periods without it but when a social event comes up I'm always up for a drink and if the night is going well, well I can't seem to control how much I consume, even some of the big guys struggle to keep up with me. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, I can't remember the whole night, I've lost my phone AGAIN, I think I had a petty argument with a friend and I wonder if I had sex last night? (With the boyfriend) Oh and then the vomiting starts and it lasts ALL DAY!!!!!!

Right now I feel like I have a mini me sitting on each shoulder and they are arguing over my thoughts on alcohol. One of them enjoys alcohol, it makes them feel sexy, confident, funny and they have had lots of very fun nights with it, they don't think there is a problem.
The other mini me is still getting over their hangover from two nights ago, oh and they found their phone THIS time. This mini me doesn't want to waste another day hungover, they don't want to lose things, they don't want to feel depressed the day after, they cringe at the embarrassing photos from last night which their friends have just added to Facebook, they sulk as they realise how much money they spent, they know they won't perform well in work today and the list of bad goes on.

The bad weighs out the good so today I have decided I will go for it, I will try and give up and begin a healthier more confident self. I told my boyfriend this morning and asked him if he has thought about cutting down before or ever wished he could go out without alcohol? He's a very confident and positive person and its obvious he enjoys himself when he's had a drink, I thought he would laugh at me so I was surprised when he said yes he has thought about giving up before or would at least like to cut down.

So here I go, first challenge, let my friend keep the full bottle of Bacardi I left at hers the other night and don't give into a cheeky one when I see her. Second challenge, it's two weeks to my birthday and if I stay strong hopefully it will be my first sober birthday in ten years.

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lottie! :welcome:

I'm glad you found us, too! Take some time and read as much as you can on these forums. There are lots of folks like you - binge drinkers who don't drink everyday but can't seem to control themselves once they start. And also start posting as much as you can, too. There are some stats that people who post more frequently actually have more success in quitting.

Lots of people choose to document quitting by starting a thread of their own and writing down their thoughts and experiences/reasons for quitting. I don't know if that's something you'd want to do, but some folks find it helpful.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lottie and :welcome:.

You have landed in the newbies nest which is where most folks start off when they are trying to get some sober time.

It sounds like your boyfriend has got a good head on him. Why not get him to do the 30 days with you?

Most people try for 30 days sober and then decide where to go from there. Your birthday in the middle kinda complicates that but see how it goes.

Anyway......read around a lot and read back on this thread a couple of weeks to get to know people. This time of the day is quiet for a couple hours.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Kuya. I was sober over a year and only recently started having relapses. I have had a few days where I have relapsed and I of course don't want to go down that route.
I know I can't moderate. Just need support advice and a good kick up the bum to get back on track.

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

Hi lottie and welcome i'm also new to the site and sobriety...day 2!!

I agree with siren abourt writing things down- be it on here or on a scrap of paper
Writing your plan almost gives a sense of permanance to your decision and reaffirms why you have chosen this path.

Enjoy the site, and remember you're not alone

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

Hi minstar, like you i've just come to realise that i can't moderate my drinking. After stopping for short periods i'll convice myself that i'm back in control and i can drink like a 'normal' person. I know that now and i have to keep reminding myself so that i don't make this wrong choice again.

So, i'm on day 2 and i'd like to give u a friendly kick up the bum and tell u your not alone if i can do this i'm sure u can too xxx

[LittleLottie]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Siren and Kuya, il definitely be checking in and sharing my progress.

I managed to stop sniffing cocaine a few years ago before I got addicted and things got really bad, that was very hard to do as it was something (just like alcohol) I considered very normal in my life and if it was there in front of me I couldnt resist it. Anyway that's another story and Im proud to say I did beat it by changing the way I see it and realising the bad consequences it was having on me, my work, my friends and my family. That's exactly how im going to approach alcohol and already by reading some posts on here I feel that it will be possible.

30 day challenge starts now!

So cheers! (With a mocktail) ;-)

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Hey newbies....
go for the 30 days....you will be surprised how hard it is at first, but how wonderful it is after the first week or so. The payoff of the initial struggle is well worth it.

And if you wonder whether your REALLY have a problem, then your life is full of YETs (IMO). You say to yourself (as I did for years) " yes, I drink too much but I have a job, family, house, no DUIs, no major problems with AL" But then, it just isn't fun anymore. Not to even mention the amount of money wasted due to AL. I started to forget the night before (how could that possibly be fun?) and started spending my days hungover (not fun). One night, I fell down my stairs and was on my back for 10 days. No lasting injury THAT time, but I still feel pain now and then 14 months later.

So I realized something, drinking is just not fun anymore. It doesn't solve any of my problems. It makes me fat and bloated (if it hasn't happened to you yet, it will). It makes me isolate (which makes me lonely which makes me want to drink more). There just are no positives. And, if I continue drinking, I have YET to really hurt myself, or I have YET to have a major health issue from AL, or I have YET to get into a car accident or DUI.....Lots of YETs that I never want to have to experience in life so the answer is simple. I just don't drink anymore.

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nest.

Jenni - lots of good advice - and so true! Drinking is just not fun anymore, and it has not been for a long time.

Hope everyone has a good day in the nest. I made it through my first weekend sober and it was actually very nice and relaxing.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

MinStar;1479350 wrote: Thanks Kuya. I was sober over a year and only recently started having relapses. I have had a few days where I have relapsed and I of course don't want to go down that route.
I know I can't moderate. Just need support advice and a good kick up the bum to get back on track.

I think the hardest part is realising and accepting that we can never go back, never be 'fixed'. But if I am honest I was never a normal drinker.

I don't want to see you go backwards Min, but you know how slippery that slide is. Consider your bum kicked !

( BTW my name actually stands for Kick Up Your Arse ! :H:H ......which is what I gave myself when I joined MWO )

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hey all!
Pretty tulip. Thanks for the kick :-) I am glad your on D2. How are you feeling?

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Kuya!!! Brilliant and thanks for the Kick! Ha ha ha ha ha..

So- things I have learnt.
1) being sober is the best thing I can be for my daughter. I'm present for her all he time and a better mamma. I am also sober when she needs me ( no emergencies as yet thank god!)
2) being sober makes me a better wife.
3) I can not stop at one drink, so better to not have one at all.
4) I need to be stronger when out with friends who are drinking - mostly people re ok but need to have a backup plan in place.
5) NEVER think it is ok to have a we drinks and get back on the wagon. I have had a few of these and managed to get back on again but the RELAPSES are dangerous dangerous things

These are the main things on my list- though there are millions and millions.... I won't bore ya all!

Happy AL Free day x

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Day 5 and remembering how good it feels to be AF from last time I was on day 5.

Welcome to the newest newbies. This is a good place.

-S-

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

Great tips minstar!! I'm not a mum but not drinking defo makes me a better person! Day 2 is tough, no cravings or desire to drink- just finding it hard to deal with all of the emotions i'm dealing with.

Have a good af day and thanks for listening

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys

Just bobbing in to say hello - day 2 for me (again I hear you sight KY )

Anyway, just thought I'd give yer a wave