Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters! Prettytulip, so glad you found your way here! eiti, GREAT to see you, LittleLottie, Minstar, Quest welcome all!
We usually have a good turnout after a holiday weekend! Sad, but true! This is the time to get yourself together and make a plan to get, and stay sober!

Be aware of HALT, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, these are kryptonite to us (our undoing). When you get a craving....by golly EAT!! You will be amazed that this little trick will carry you thru. We are so used to drinking our way thru hunger that it becomes foreign. This one tip alone is worth the price of admission. SuperNewbies get all the AL out of your home! You don't need a safety net, you aren't going to fall! I resisted this one for so long, but I never succeeded until I did this. I have heard so many nesters say, 'I just had a weak moment and went over to the cupboard and poured one'. Believe me, if you have a bottle of booze in the house, it will soon grow heads and start to speak in the prettiest tones you ever heard.....telling you JUST what you want to hear, too! GET IT OUT! (said like the Exorcist). If you have a drinking cup, get rid of it. I don't care about the misty, watercolored memories...it is a trigger....out she goes, too. This is a new beginning! Nothing changes if nothing changes....how many clich?s can I put in one post?

Your emotions will be all over the place...large and in charge one minute, a basket case the next...this is to be expected. I felt as if I had the flu for the first couple weeks...my legs even twitched at night there at the beginning. (not restless legs, I have that, too, this was like a detoxing twitch).
Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. Do it no matter what and no matter who.... you will not be sorry. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner! We are so glad you are here! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

prettytulip;1479389 wrote: Great tips minstar!! I'm not a mum but not drinking defo makes me a better person! Day 2 is tough, no cravings or desire to drink- just finding it hard to deal with all of the emotions i'm dealing with.

Have a good af day and thanks for listening

I have noticed your posts all over that place as you learn about MWO and what you need to do! GOOD JOB!! I think you are preparing yourself for Great Success!!

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1479419 wrote: Morning, Nesters! Prettytulip, so glad you found your way here! eiti, GREAT to see you, LittleLottie, Minstar, Quest welcome all!
We usually have a good turnout after a holiday weekend! Sad, but true! This is the time to get yourself together and make a plan to get, and stay sober!

Be aware of HALT, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, these are kryptonite to us (our undoing). When you get a craving....by golly EAT!! You will be amazed that this little trick will carry you thru. We are so used to drinking our way thru hunger that it becomes foreign. This one tip alone is worth the price of admission. SuperNewbies get all the AL out of your home! You don't need a safety net, you aren't going to fall! I resisted this one for so long, but I never succeeded until I did this. I have heard so many nesters say, 'I just had a weak moment and went over to the cupboard and poured one'. Believe me, if you have a bottle of booze in the house, it will soon grow heads and start to speak in the prettiest tones you ever heard.....telling you JUST what you want to hear, too! GET IT OUT! (said like the Exorcist). If you have a drinking cup, get rid of it. I don't care about the misty, watercolored memories...it is a trigger....out she goes, too. This is a new beginning! Nothing changes if nothing changes....how many clich?s can I put in one post?

Your emotions will be all over the place...large and in charge one minute, a basket case the next...this is to be expected. I felt as if I had the flu for the first couple weeks...my legs even twitched at night there at the beginning. (not restless legs, I have that, too, this was like a detoxing twitch).
Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. Do it no matter what and no matter who.... you will not be sorry. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner! We are so glad you are here! Byrdie

Thanks for the recap byrdie xx

I needed to hear that !!! I must remember HALT - cos I get at least 3 (in any order) by the end of the day - and I need to eat and not drink my way through it !!!

Feels good to be back - I'm gonna read and post like a demon

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

Thanks nosugar, i'm really learning from the site and sharing inspiration and support from others on the same journey really help me to remain focused and strong. I commited so much time and energy to drinking and my new af path deserves the same amount of commitment!

Thanks for the Halt tip byrdlady- like thousands of others these are my trige points and being aware of them gives me more control. I hope the emotions start to settle soon too- day 2 has been a massive rollercoaster so far!

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1479376 wrote: I think the hardest part is realising and accepting that we can never go back, never be 'fixed'. But if I am honest I was never a normal drinker.

I don't want to see you go backwards Min, but you know how slippery that slide is. Consider your bum kicked !

( BTW my name actually stands for Kick Up Your Arse ! :H:H ......which is what I gave myself when I joined MWO )

"Once a pickle, never a cucumber again." It took me years to accept that but I truly believe I have come to terms with it. I'm learning to enjoy the World so much more without alcohol that I sometimes forget why it was so hard to give up the poison. You can live a happy sober life. I KNOW YOU CAN! :l

[nonamegirl]

Newbies Nest

HI, prettytulip. Welcome! I know this is the best place for us to be. Lots of good advice here, always.

Okay, here's my current worry. I am now at day 17 of my 30 day af pledge, and it is really going pretty well. I'm dealing with the blues (not throwing myself the pity party, 'cause boy, I do not deserve a party!) But I am still doing this thing because my husband wants me to. I know that if I turned the corner to where I was doing it for myself, I would win the game, but my heart and head just aren't there. Darn it! (Well, much worse words than that.) My husband is going to have to go across the continent to take care of his parents, sometime in the next month or so. He will have to be gone for an extended period, maybe more than two weeks. I want to be able to promise him that he won't have to worry about me drinking, but in the back of my head I can see me going to the liquor store on the way home from the airport.

Kuya, (by the way, I didn't know what your name stood for before! Love it, and need it!) I hear you... you told us that we need to decide what it is we want. I know what I want. I know what I SHOULD want. and they ain't the same.

So, any advice?

[Hippyman]

Newbies Nest

I'm asking that healing Angels come and assist everyone who is struggling. I also invite them to stop by my house and see what they can do to cure bronchitis. Blessings to everyone! :l :h

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

I've been feeling pretty miserable this evening - physically feeling not very well and worrying about what could be the cause of health problems I have been having ..... I could feel how being miserable made me want to drink, but a little thinking about it helped those feelings go away.

A chocolate icecream helped even more though

[nonamegirl]

Newbies Nest

Hippyman, thank you for the healing angels. I felt your arms go around all of us with that. Blossoms, I hope Hippyman's healing angels heal you, too.

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Oh wonderful!! Thankyou Hippyman!
I really need those healing Angels tonight!!
I can feel the warmth spreading through me

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

I love the angels hippy:h

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Good day Nesters.....just stopping by to say I'm still around......harder for me to post on the weekends.
Welcome to all the Newbies here and those returning.

Hippy......I sure hope you start to feel better soon....bronchitis sure can be miserable! If I see those angels, I'll send them your way!

Take care of yourselves everyone!

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

Hello folks - I was curious about what my brain looks like right now in this point of recovery, and found some info about all of our brains and what we can expect as we become AF. This is about the damage we've done along with the timeframe we can expect for our brains to heal.

Did you all know that our brains have literally shrunk due to AL? Anyone who uses alcohol excessively over an extended period of time (that's me, and I'm assuming all of you - nobody gets a pass here) has shrunk their brains. At risk of being all "this is your brain on drugs.." (anyone remember those frying egg commercials from the 80's?) Go to this link to see the difference in images between a 43 year old alcoholic brain and a healthy 43 year old brain. Your Brain on Alcohol | Smart-Kit Puzzles and Games

For anyone who needs inspiration to get through the first few weeks, the good news is:

After just 7 days AF, the brain begins growing volume back.
After 14 days, the cerebellum is almost back to normal.
After 14 days, motor skills are much improved.
Higher cognitive functions like divided attention, impulse control will take longer, up to several months of abstaining. So STICK IT OUT if you want to gain this brain function back. I didn't even realize I had a problem with impulse control while on booze until I read that. I've noticed I'm much better at controlling my anger lately than I've ever been in my adult life, and I'll bet the long-time abstainers will tell us the same thing.

The bad news is that while long-term memory and cognitive functions with executive control can recover, it will take YEARS for long-term memory to recover, so if you're like me and everything that happened more than a few months ago is little foggy compared to the rock-star specific long-term memory that others seem to have, keep snapping pictures of your loved ones and journaling about those milestones of your children if you want to have a clue what happened throughout your life when you're sipping chamomile tea in that rocking chair some day. For you parents of young children who want to remember these precious times when they're small, this should be a truck-load of motivation for quitting now while your kids are young. Or you can keep drinking and just take lots of pictures. My oldest is going off to college next year, and I'll never get back what I've forgotten, but I CAN make new memories now and keep those, and I CAN be there for her other big moments in life that are sure to come and remember those. But I would give anything to have those years back and have quit when they were young, so stick with it and hang in here.

You can check out the links below for more scientific inspiration:

[PDF]
Cognitive Improvement and Alcoholism Recovery - Hazelden
www.hazelden.org/web/public/document/bcrup_1106.pdf

Alcoholics' Brains Recover Quickly After Detox | LiveScience

Cheers for another AF day!

Elliesmom

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nonamegirl, as I often do, I went back and grabbed the reason that landed you here to begin with. Here is your first post:

Back again

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, all.
I was a member a couple years ago, and simply can't remember my old login name, so I come back as a newbie. During the time I was away I spent most of the two years abstaining, with a few slips - planned and personal. This summer, however, after discussing it with my sweet guy who does NOT have a drinking problem, I decided to try drinking in moderation. I wanted to drink like a regular person, darn it! Well, two and a half months later I find myself back here, not wanting to quit drinking but realizing that I am putting that sweet guy in a hard place. I don't drink every night (or even most nights of the week); when I do drink I don't always over-do, but I KNOW that my drinking isn't like a regular person. I keep a hidden bottle (oh, poop that's hard to admit) just in case I want an extra shot. I buy more often than he knows. When I go to the liquor store, I pay cash for my drink, and use the checkbook for his drink, so that he doesn't know what I've bought for myself. Pretty disheartening that I could be so underhanded. This just isn't right and I know it. And yet, I don't want to have to give up the ability to have a glass of wine at a nice dinner out, or to have a glass with my sister.

SO, I come back here, and will continue to check in. Thanks for being here, still.


That was September 2012, and your post said you were here 2 years prior to that. So you've been fighting this for quite a while now, right? At least 2 and a half years if my math is right. I've taken the liberty to highlight a couple of red flags. Normal drinkers don't do these things...Normal drinkers don't join sites like this one...Normal drinkers can stop. Now if this quacks like a duck and walks like a duck...what do you think we have? Yep, pull up a twig, I think you are one of us. This, my dear, is the GOOD news! Now you can set about to fixing it, instead of calling it everything else in the book EXCEPT WHAT IT IS! Once you accept that you are an ALK, you will realize that ONE DRINK is poison for us. You've tried moderation, which, as you know is the Impossible Dream for 99% of us....It didn't work for you. So what other choices are there to be made? You really have 2 choices...Drink or get sober. Simple as that really. As you know, ALK is progressive...I bet you are worse now than when you got here? When you drink I bet you drink MORE than ever. That's what happens! You can wait until you hit rock bottom, or you can get off the bus now and turn this around!

The river of Denial runs DEEP! ALL of us came here wanting to be able to control it instead of it controlling us...but as you can see, AL is too much an opponent. IT wins everytime. K9 has said many times, that she quit for her daughter, but she stays quit for herself. If you can get some significant AF time in, maybe you will feel that way too. ALCOHOL FREE time...no sips...no slips. Stay the course this time, and give THIS way a chance to work. You don't need AL to live...or to be happy. The times of our lives are not determined by what's in a glass, they are lived thru interaction with other people and your surroundings... Just my 2 cents....Byrdie

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Oh wow! I just got the closest I've come to slipping just then.
I went to the fridge .... Well because I'm feeling sad and so wanted something... and my hand was reaching for the bottle of sake my husband had there (he must have bought it when he went out to buy me an icecream)
I switched and grabbed the carton of ice tea instead .... But I really wasn't even thinking - it was so automatic.
I'm feeling sad, scared and stressed and it is almost midnight here ....