Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,
Dh tells me he has blood in urine..so I am freaking out now...hope the prostate cancer is not back or worse he has bladder cancer....he went for a urine test today so we shall see...I want to retire and be able to travel some with him...my medical is so much better than what we will get with his previous employer but sure beats buying outright...I am stressed.....drat.....
dottie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dot Belle, how are you doing on your AF days? I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby's trouble...try not to jump to a conclusion...keep us posted! B

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick fly by to say Thankyou so much to everyone last night.
I am feeling a lot better
It's no wonder my body is out of whack - I quit drinking and I had been dealing with a job I hated and then got fired from. I've got to be nice to my body and give it time to heal and get healthy again

I'll give it some time and really try to look after myself better and hopefully my health problems will sort themselves out.
If not, then I can start looking further into things then.

My daughter has a day off from school because of the 9th graders graduation so I'll go spend time with her
A sweet happy AF day to everyone!!

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

In the "General Discussion" forum, I just watched a documentary (online) called "Rain in My Heart". Riveting, mesmerizing and enlightening. Very difficult to watch, but seeing the physical and emotional cost of alcoholism - and lies we tell ourselves.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

nonamegirl;1479429 wrote: HI, prettytulip. Welcome! I know this is the best place for us to be. Lots of good advice here, always.

Okay, here's my current worry. I am now at day 17 of my 30 day af pledge, and it is really going pretty well. I'm dealing with the blues (not throwing myself the pity party, 'cause boy, I do not deserve a party!) But I am still doing this thing because my husband wants me to. I know that if I turned the corner to where I was doing it for myself, I would win the game, but my heart and head just aren't there. Darn it! (Well, much worse words than that.) My husband is going to have to go across the continent to take care of his parents, sometime in the next month or so. He will have to be gone for an extended period, maybe more than two weeks. I want to be able to promise him that he won't have to worry about me drinking, but in the back of my head I can see me going to the liquor store on the way home from the airport.

Kuya, (by the way, I didn't know what your name stood for before! Love it, and need it!) I hear you... you told us that we need to decide what it is we want. I know what I want. I know what I SHOULD want. and they ain't the same.

So, any advice?

Decide now if you love booze more than your marriage.

That seems to be the question your husband asked you in the first place.

Don't misunderstand me, I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer.

If right now you truly love booze more than him, then split up, cos you will never be happily sober for HIM.
If you split up you may get sober anyway.

If you choose him then stay quit otherwise you will lose him and may still have to quit later, alone.

As I have often repeated.....there is no right, there is no wrong, but there ARE consequences!

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

I'm Strong and in Control;1479749 wrote: In the "General Discussion" forum, I just watched a documentary (online) called "Rain in My Heart". Riveting, mesmerizing and enlightening. Very difficult to watch, but seeing the physical and emotional cost of alcoholism - and lies we tell ourselves.

I watched it in 2 stages. Couldn't take it anymore after 5, then finished up a week later. Quite enlightening, huh?

I study people more now...to see if I see anything in their apppearance or behavior which indicates ALK. Not to judge or anything. But, sort of to see if others might have seen ALK in my appearance and behavior, even when I wasn't loaded.

-S-

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Newbies Nest

thelaststraw;1479808 wrote: I watched it in 2 stages. Couldn't take it anymore after 5, then finished up a week later. Quite enlightening, huh?

I study people more now...to see if I see anything in their apppearance or behavior which indicates ALK. Not to judge or anything. But, sort of to see if others might have seen ALK in my appearance and behavior, even when I wasn't loaded.

-S-

Interesting that you were also wondering about appearance or behaviors which indicate an alcohol problem - I was thinking about this last week - I think in poker they call it 'a tell'. I was wondering what others - particularly doctors - see that gives me away. Bloodshot eyes? red face? I always thought I bruise easily, but apparently it is very common with problem drinkers. I thought the night sweats were hot flashes (and still could be - who is to say?). Unsteady/shaky hands. What else physically have you noticed?

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nest. Starting Day 5 and going on a business trip. I will be walking on the treadmill at my hotel tonight instead of ordering glasses of wine.

Strong and Laststraw - I have seen the link to that documentary Rain In My Heart several times and started to watch it once and couldn't take it. I guess I should crack down and watch it as an eyeopener! I did download the book Drinking: A Love Story. I just started it but it looks really good.

Have a great AF day in the Nest everyone.

[moni]

Newbies Nest

I'm Strong and in Control;1479853 wrote: Interesting that you were also wondering about appearance or behaviors which indicate an alcohol problem - I was thinking about this last week - I think in poker they call it 'a tell'. I was wondering what others - particularly doctors - see that gives me away. Bloodshot eyes? red face? I always thought I bruise easily, but apparently it is very common with problem drinkers. I thought the night sweats were hot flashes (and still could be - who is to say?). Unsteady/shaky hands. What else physically have you noticed?

Since I quit I notice that you can actually smell drink off people the following day. I thought I was well covered with brushing my teeth and taking gum but I know now I probably wasn't. I can get the whiff of alcohol from metres away.
I was behind somebody in the shop queue last week. She was buying cans of cheap beer and a bottle of vodka. I had to step back a bit the smell of alcohol was so strong. Then I took in the whole picture, she looked like she had just thrown on jogpants and a jacket to leave the house, blotchy dry looking skin, greasy unwashed hair. I may as well have been staring in a mirror from a few months back. I have to restrain myself from judging because I know I'm in no position to but I do notice people with drink issues a lot more now.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Blossoms, I posted this just about two years ago. It was 30 some days after my first quit. The aching and fatigue and occasional headaches went on for quite awhile. I am so glad that they eventually lightened up. My body was going through quite a shock, I guess. (and my point isn't that a few drinks helped me sleep! This eventually led to me getting right back to it - drinking all summer - before my final quit in late September of that year....THAT's when things really started to turn around and get better...)

Good morning everyone...and welcome to all the new posters! I hear ya Lav...I think it MIGHT get to 40 here today.....and that's a stretch. At least we'll see some sun.

In line with what others have posted, I'm still trying to figure out the sleep...I'm not trying to deny responsibility for having some drinks last week - I'm trying to figure out the triggers and honestly, sleep deprivation had to be one of them. After going 30 plus days AF, my sleep was getting worse instead of better - and was getting to the point of my entire body aching from exhaustion - my feet felt like they were made of lead - just trying to walk around...

I was still going strong with AF, but was really struggling day to day from the total lack of sleep - and then when my mom got sick, I caved. The terrible thing is that the couple of drinks that I had a few days in a row, actually helped the aching (or more likely masked it) and I was able to sleep better.

now I'm NOT advocating for a return to drinking to fix sleep issues - we all KNOW that's not the answer. My sleep problems still existed while drinking but I think were just still going through a cycle after quitting. I thought that 30 some days AF were enough to get everything out of my system, but maybe not? Maybe the aching was partly related to toxins leaving my body still?

I'm also Hypothyroid, and therefore may be B-12 deficient - especially after all the years of drinking - so have been taking some sublingual B-12 and I ordered some spray that should be here tomorrow. Sleep is "ok" the past few nights...not nearly as bad as it was....and the achiness has subsided for the most part. But it has only been a couple days without AL.

I requested that my dr. check me last year for Pernicious anemia which can go hand in hand with Hypothyroidism and she had some bloodwork called in - I noticed that she had just said anemia - so I have no idea if that specifically checks for B-12. I need to find a new dr.

ah well, thanks for listening. I hope I can figure this out this time. If there's one thing I know I can't exist without, it's sleep!

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

moni;1479874 wrote: Since I quit I notice that you can actually smell drink off people the following day. I thought I was well covered with brushing my teeth and taking gum but I know now I probably wasn't. I can get the whiff of alcohol from metres away.
I was behind somebody in the shop queue last week. She was buying cans of cheap beer and a bottle of vodka. I had to step back a bit the smell of alcohol was so strong. Then I took in the whole picture, she looked like she had just thrown on jogpants and a jacket to leave the house, blotchy dry looking skin, greasy unwashed hair. I may as well have been staring in a mirror from a few months back. I have to restrain myself from judging because I know I'm in no position to but I do notice people with drink issues a lot more now.

Recently I have noticed that I have either suddenly lost my sense of smell or my sweat has stopped stinking.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

I'm Strong and in Control;1479853 wrote: Interesting that you were also wondering about appearance or behaviors which indicate an alcohol problem - I was thinking about this last week - I think in poker they call it 'a tell'. I was wondering what others - particularly doctors - see that gives me away. Bloodshot eyes? red face? I always thought I bruise easily, but apparently it is very common with problem drinkers. I thought the night sweats were hot flashes (and still could be - who is to say?). Unsteady/shaky hands. What else physically have you noticed?

Yes, I'M STRONG, I notice the night sweats gone....I thought I was just a hot sleeper/meno.

The shakes gone...I thought I was just getting low on blood sugar ( I remember my mom telling me that her glass of wine takes care of her shakes, EEEE GADS)

Easy bruises...thought I needed more vitaman C

I also noticed the pale lips gone, bloated eye lids gone, anxiety gone, bloody nose gone, bloody arse gone, constipation gone, sore tummy gone...etc... so much stuff is better AF.

-S-

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1479905 wrote: Blossoms, I posted this just about two years ago. It was 30 some days after my first quit. The aching and fatigue and occasional headaches went on for quite awhile. I am so glad that they eventually lightened up. My body was going through quite a shock, I guess. (and my point isn't that a few drinks helped me sleep! This eventually led to me getting right back to it - drinking all summer - before my final quit in late September of that year....THAT's when things really started to turn around and get better...)

Good morning everyone...and welcome to all the new posters! I hear ya Lav...I think it MIGHT get to 40 here today.....and that's a stretch. At least we'll see some sun.

In line with what others have posted, I'm still trying to figure out the sleep...I'm not trying to deny responsibility for having some drinks last week - I'm trying to figure out the triggers and honestly, sleep deprivation had to be one of them. After going 30 plus days AF, my sleep was getting worse instead of better - and was getting to the point of my entire body aching from exhaustion - my feet felt like they were made of lead - just trying to walk around...

I was still going strong with AF, but was really struggling day to day from the total lack of sleep - and then when my mom got sick, I caved. The terrible thing is that the couple of drinks that I had a few days in a row, actually helped the aching (or more likely masked it) and I was able to sleep better.

now I'm NOT advocating for a return to drinking to fix sleep issues - we all KNOW that's not the answer. My sleep problems still existed while drinking but I think were just still going through a cycle after quitting. I thought that 30 some days AF were enough to get everything out of my system, but maybe not? Maybe the aching was partly related to toxins leaving my body still?

I'm also Hypothyroid, and therefore may be B-12 deficient - especially after all the years of drinking - so have been taking some sublingual B-12 and I ordered some spray that should be here tomorrow. Sleep is "ok" the past few nights...not nearly as bad as it was....and the achiness has subsided for the most part. But it has only been a couple days without AL.

I requested that my dr. check me last year for Pernicious anemia which can go hand in hand with Hypothyroidism and she had some bloodwork called in - I noticed that she had just said anemia - so I have no idea if that specifically checks for B-12. I need to find a new dr.

ah well, thanks for listening. I hope I can figure this out this time. If there's one thing I know I can't exist without, it's sleep!

Thankyou so much for sharing this with me It's not good that you are still dealing with this - but it helps to know that it isn't unknown.

There are a couple of other things that led me to think of Thyroid problems - my mum was hypothyroid, so I went to the thyroid specialist hospital in my area and got a pretty comprehensive check. My results all came back in the normal range.

I've added a B vitamin complex - so hopefully that does help me.

Yeah I'm wondering if the drinking just covered up the pain.....

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

moni;1479874 wrote: Since I quit I notice that you can actually smell drink off people the following day. I thought I was well covered with brushing my teeth and taking gum but I know now I probably wasn't. I can get the whiff of alcohol from metres away.
I was behind somebody in the shop queue last week. She was buying cans of cheap beer and a bottle of vodka. I had to step back a bit the smell of alcohol was so strong. Then I took in the whole picture, she looked like she had just thrown on jogpants and a jacket to leave the house, blotchy dry looking skin, greasy unwashed hair. I may as well have been staring in a mirror from a few months back. I have to restrain myself from judging because I know I'm in no position to but I do notice people with drink issues a lot more now.

MONI, I know what you mean!!!! Not to judge others, but as a "slap up, wake up Straw", sort of thing. When I think of it all...good grief.
-S-

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

hi....I hadn't "bolded" the last part but it was actually a part of the quote from two years ago. I actually sleep VERY well, now. I have occasional trouble but I think everybody does. :-)

I have been AF for 1 1/2 years now and basically that aching and dragging feeling had pretty much left my mind. I have the energy to work out daily and that's where any aching comes from now. :-)

It didn't happen overnight - but it was so worth the wait. During that time, I ached so much I couldn't sleep at night. It was awful. But all it took was time - and taking care of myself. To get my body USED to being taken care of.