Newbies Nest

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

STRUGGLES,
So sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she is getting good care.

I am glad you are taking steps to regain your AF freedom. That makes you NOT a failure, huh.

You are very brave and smart to be sipping your water. Sigh, I really feel for you. I know you feel crappy, but it will get better as you remain AF.

Remembering how good it felt to be AF helps to not go buy the creppy monster.

-S-

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

struggles;1482752 wrote: Well I blew all these days AF. My mom is back in the hospital and they believe she had a heart attack. Because of the small town she lives in, she needs to be transported to a bigger hospital to have an angiogram. She is in such bad health. Well I let the stress get to me and drank about a case of beer daily since last Wednesday. I have no money and no limits left on my credit card so until the banks open at 9am, I am unable to go out and buy more beer. I woke this morning to get the kids up for school and am so dizzy and feel lousy. As I sit hear with tears, I am thinking I am such a failure. I know I can do this and I have before, but I let my guard down and it's killing me. I haven't showered in days and just drank all day long and slept off and on. The ironic thing is that I closed on my house and now own it so I should be happy and sober. But, then my mom again and I hit the beer. I thought I will have a couple, yeah, right. So I am back on day 1 and feeling like shit. I started a journal and I reread some of my entries, I was happy and sober and getting healthy again. I'm sipping water, NOT BEER and will do a LOT of soul searching.

struggles sending you much strength and love. You can do this! You have a great support system right here at MWO so get to using us. . Take a shower and have a good cry and let's get you started on the first day of the rest of your life without alcohol. :l

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters......and welcome to the new nesters. You have found a wonderful place to receive the support you were searching for to get your life back in control.

I just wanted to relate a personal experience I had this weekend. We were invited to a friends birthday party where the booze always flows freely. In the past, I would have been having a couple of glasses of wine while getting ready, and then more at the party (hubby would only be drinking Coke, as he is always the DD and just doesn't drink very much....his vice is smoking). This time though, I had NO desire to drink prior and when we arrived, I just didn't feel like any wine, so had sparkling water and lime. I couldn't believe how much easier it was to make that choice.

I did however choose to toast my grandsons very first birthday yesterday with a half glass of champagne and OJ.......but the amazing thing about that was that even though I did, I had NO desire for more afterwards. This is a huge change from the past and I'm very happy.

So thank you to everyone here for their support and for MWO where I can read about others success and struggles to help with my own.

[struggles]

Newbies Nest

Thank you all for the support. I have had a good cry and realize that I need to be there mentally, physically and alert. I can't believe how far I made it and just let my emotions and my brain talk me into it....and then by brain wouldn't let me go! I called my neighbor and my sister and told them I had been drinking again so I have the knowledge that they may call or pop in at anytime to "check" on me. I am reading all the posts and have been daily until last week when I started to drink again...that was my first mistake because even while drinking, there is always a post to help snap me out of it. This truly is an amazing site and making it a daily thing, like brushing our teeth is a very important point to make this work.

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Hello all.... A busy few days here.... Lunch out yesterday with the in laws ( which was a bit of a test, but I told my MIL beforehand so that helped... Though as a non-drinker she doesn't understand why I wouldn't have just a little). After lunch we went to look at the cherry blossoms which are at their peak.

Tomorrow we are heading off on a 3 day ski trip... So I've been cleaning up and packing today... Whew!

I went out to the shops to get some things and had such a strong desire to buy myself some alcohol I stopped and thought about it and I was ticking the hungry, thirsty and tired box... So I got myself some juices and icecream and the feeling has died down.

[New Day]

Newbies Nest

Hi Struggles.....I just went back and read your post......I'm sorry to hear of your Moms health problems. It really is an emotional ride we go on when our loved ones are sick.

You are doing the best thing you can though, by staying close to the Nest to regain your strength. You can do this....you have before. Take good care of yourself

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

New Day, congratulations on getting thru the birthday party! I had one like that Friday night and had a great time.
My question to you is, why, after all this, did you CHOOSE to have the half glass of champagne? B

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

First day of spring break, first day back to work.

[Vekara]

Newbies Nest

:new:

Hello everyone,

I joined this morning and I'm amazed how active people are here, I've already got some replies, advice and simply support to my decision to quit drinking.

I shared my story today in "tell us your story'" so I won't repeat here, but in short, once I drink, I drink so much and so long that as a rule I get black outs and do things completely out my character. I can never reminisce over the previous night and parties, I just hide in my room for couple of days and dive into self loath until I do it again with similar consequences.

I've begun to realize that my self destructive behavior has power and potential to really ruin my relationship with my friends and especially with my boyfriend and I think the only way out is to stop drinking altogether. So far my friends have stuck around, partly because I'm quite good at covering my tracks.

Needless to say a couple of nights ago this happened again and I feel low and morbid as usual, but I'm not sure if I can handle this anymore and I'm almost certain next time, if I allow myself to drink, I will only get into worse trouble. I just have to admit that I don't have control over my drinking and if 10 years ago I was able to shrug it off and explain it with being young and free, now I simply just feel pathetic and disgusting.

Anyhoo nice meeting you all and I'm very very happy I found this forum.

[struggles]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Vekara I have not read your story yet, but I will. I just wanted to send you support and let you know that everyone here can and will help you. Ultimately, we are in control and unfortunately, I have let AL come back and it got the best of me. I have done this before, but I did use the supplements and have the topa to take. My problem is, I think I can do this on my own and I'm "cured" and stop the topa and eventually it proves to me that I can never drink socially, so I'm back on day one, sadly. The other thing I stopped doing is coming on here and even if I didn't post, I read and read and read and cried and cried and cried. I don't go out to drink, I do it at home, by myself, which makes it worse because basically I cripple myself from even being able to go to the store. The more educated we become, the easier it gets, but for me, it's still a struggle. Glad to see you found us. I'm not perfect and I wish I could say I was one year sober or that I just don't drink alcohol, but I haven't reached that goal yet. I'm working on it.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

struggles;1482807 wrote: Welcome Vekara I have not read your story yet, but I will. I just wanted to send you support and let you know that everyone here can and will help you. Ultimately, we are in control and unfortunately, I have let AL come back and it got the best of me. I have done this before, but I did use the supplements and have the topa to take. My problem is, I think I can do this on my own and I'm "cured" and stop the topa and eventually it proves to me that I can never drink socially, so I'm back on day one, sadly. The other thing I stopped doing is coming on here and even if I didn't post, I read and read and read and cried and cried and cried. I don't go out to drink, I do it at home, by myself, which makes it worse because basically I cripple myself from even being able to go to the store. The more educated we become, the easier it gets, but for me, it's still a struggle. Glad to see you found us. I'm not perfect and I wish I could say I was one year sober or that I just don't drink alcohol, but I haven't reached that goal yet. I'm working on it.

Hi, Struggles

I don't think we've met. I also was a solo-drinker -- rarely had more than 1 or 2 glasses of wine when there were Witnesses!

Making the big time and energy commitment to MWO, and particulary the Newbies Nest, I think has been critical to what success I have had. Did you read and post frequently last time? If not, I sure would encourage you to do it this time!! I think it is important on days when you are feeling strong, so you are in the habit. Then, on bad days, it will be natural for you to come here to get the support you need. Also promise yourself that if you think you are going to take a drink, you will post here first. Hopefully there will be someone here to help you make a different choice, or even that pause will enable you to help yourself.

But for now, just be strong and get through this day!

All the best to you, NS

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Fellow Good Friends
Just want to let some people know , escpicially the new ones trying to stop. As you all know my girlfriend of 5 years left and took my home over and has another man living in with her. I was hospitalized for 3 days, so these withdrawls as you all may know are no joke. They just kept an IV and kept putting in injectable Ativan to ease the withdrawls. So my blood pressure was 177 over 97 and more meds, but I m feeling much better now. Now guess who just calls my ex, left a message telling me "she misses me so very much" haven't heard nothing from her in days. I will not let those cravings get to me. Thanks for everyone helping and reading.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Bobby!

Wow, you've had a rough few days. I'm sorry to hear about that. How do you plan to deal with the emotions differently this time? Sounds like your ex is trying to cause you as much emotional havoc as possible. What landed you in the hospital? Must have been a pretty big binge. I hope it scared you enough to not go down that road again. SHE is not worth it...nobody is.

Welcome to all the Newbies...we are glad to have you here! Stick around and keep sharing. We look forward to getting to know you better!

Happy Monday everyone!

K9

[Bobbyslife]

Newbies Nest

2 weeks of drinking hard liquor, almost a month since I joined here and was trying to stop. I would stop for a day or 2 then the pain would hurt badly emotionally and physically. Finally since I had to leave my house and move 70 miles away to my parents, my parents found me unconscious one morning. It seems like she is trying to make me drink again, the worst part about it is, I have called the law and they said they need repetative phone calls. I am trying to think to better things in life, if I can and stay posting and reading with my friends here at MWO.

[Vekara]

Newbies Nest

Hi Struggles and the rest,

Thanks for your message. You're very right about being more educated and aware. I just talked to my boyfriend about my decision and while talking I also sort of summarized my relationship with alcohol and other substances and it was scary, not the just events, but the fact that I've never had much control over my drinking and it almost always has end up in a disaster.

I got drunk first time when I was 11, it was xmas and parents had passed out from drinking and I drank a bottle of wine on my own. The next time I was 12 and I got my stomach pumped. Well I can go on forever! The point is that I've failed to see this for so long and now I feel like for the first time I want to understand myself better, become aware of my behavior and educate myself on how to change my life.