Newbies Nest

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

To you newer nesters dreading Easter ........ You must try to change your mind........ Try to think of the holiday break as FOUR AMAZING DAYS TO HEAL......no work, just rest, eat well, read here, go for walks.

You are dreading the free time......if you think it will be awful ......IT WILL BE.

I have just quit smoking......40 cigarettes a day, 40 years smoking....... I read Allan Carr's book that said it was easy, (I read hundreds of other places it is very hard) I CHOOSE to believe it is easy ....... And guess what......IT IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT IS !!!

Quitting our addictions is not about one person being stronger IMO, it is about what we CHOOSE to believe.

I 'couldn't ' quit smoking because I 'believed' it was too hard. The nicotine addiction didn't change .......I changed.

So look forward to Easter and return here rested and with four more days of alcohol free life and recovery done.

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1483841 wrote: :H:H:H

Heaven help us all!!!!

Morning nesters .......busy place today .

Lola .....have a lovely break ......perhaps spring will have sprung properly by the time you return

NS.....love that piece by FA. I realise that part of my joy is embracing and actually enjoying the broken parts, rather than being angry about them. I look at the person I am now BECAUSE of the breaks and, yes, I am proud. I wouldn't look for ways to suffer more but I am also not AFRAID of what life may throw now.

Questy.....is your hubby on board with your quitting, it sounds like he doesn't even know......if so how can he possibly support you??

Jenni.....it keeps getting better, and now I NEVER want alcohol, not even as a fleeting thought.

Hiya ky - in answer to your question, he knows I'm making changes - but he never quite believes me cos I don't maintain it. He just thinks I should moderate it and just drink at weekends. Ha ! I wish. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl - and having read your subsequent post ky, I know it's me that's got to change. Events will happen, and circumstances will be present, but its how I choose to deal with them that's got to change. And im going to take it day by day. Big oak trees from little acorns grow

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Questy....My hubs was the same way...so many broken promises...but I was finally able to earn his trust!
I saw a quote the other day that fits...You can't change the wind, but you can change the direction of your sails. True!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

My dh has never said I had to quit for him...and he so does not get it that I can not just drink a little like he does...a real problem for me....I have really tried to tell him....maybe he is in denial too...I dont know but it makes it so much harder for me...but it is up to ME to do what I need for ME...
Dottie

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Good Evening Nesters......
Goodness Gracious the nest is very busy! Did I really read that Byrdlady is now an official subscriber?! :yay: I can't wait to participate in some surveys. Good job everyone, keep up the hard amazing work! I am off to bed now....I is EXHAUSTED.

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

Quest for the key;1483861 wrote: Hiya ky - in answer to your question, he knows I'm making changes - but he never quite believes me cos I don't maintain it. He just thinks I should moderate it and just drink at weekends. Ha ! I wish. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl - and having read your subsequent post ky, I know it's me that's got to change. Events will happen, and circumstances will be present, but its how I choose to deal with them that's got to change. And im going to take it day by day. Big oak trees from little acorns grow

Hi Quest...there are several of us in that boat. I'm at day 53 and my DH and I still haven't talked about it really, but he knows and I know he's glad. But I had so many false quits before, I just didn't want to share it outside this board for awhile. Not even with him until I proved to myself it was possible. In some way I think that has helped me. Maybe when we make big quitting announcements, it feels like our spouse owns it too as our support people. Except for some of us that might make it easier to fall off, because its not all our fault if our spouse owns some of it. "He was being such an unsupportive ass, I had to have a drink". I've said/done that before. If he doesn't know, I can't blame him if I fail, and all that leaves is the person in the mirror. I really do think this has worked for me this time and notice several others seem to have had similar experiences. Having only ourselves to hold responsible for quitting and this online community for accountability and support seems to be the right recipe for some us!
Elliesmom

[JetCityWoman]

Newbies Nest

Thanks everyone for all the support today.

Kuya - I totally appreciate the thoughts about Easter and how to turn it around, away from AL. We are going to a friend's house and I'm looking forward to hanging out with them and watching the kids play. They have a great backyard and it's supposed to be 68 and sunny here that day which is amazing for Seattle this time of year. I feel like it will be a great day. And another AF day.

Elliesmom - I appreciated reading your post. My husband doesn't think I drink that much because I never appeared drunk to him. Or so he has said. I am sort of doing this on my own, mostly because I drank totally on my own.

Today was a good end to my day 3. I was super tempted to go get wine around 3:00 and then just kept telling myself I didn't need it. The temptation was there since I knew my husband wasn't getting home until late tonight. Instead, I cooked dinner with the girls, we ate, and then I took them to the pajama story time at our library from 7-8pm. That was huge for me. Generally, when my drinking started at 4:30, I wasn't going anywhere so I am so happy that I took them out and we had a great time. I plan on doing more of that!

Onto day 4 tomorrow. Best to all.

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Bobbyslife;1483829 wrote: Thanks to everyone this site really helped me out 7 days AF

Is the major depression and anxiety normal at this point? Just don't feel like getting up and all that's on my mind is my ex girlfriend. If I could just get that out of my head I think I would be ok to atleast get up and move.
Its like with the alcohol every little thing became fun. But cant go back there

7 Days Bobbyslife? That's fantastic!!! :cheering

Star, Byrd, anyone home? I feel a Full Moon coming on shortly.

-S-

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Awesome job guys.... Day 4 here.... I totally relate about the hubs....as far as easter planning we are having Easter at our camp where I always let loose(drink).... So this year I'm telling myself I'm doing an experiment to compare drunk camp w sober camp .... That I've done it drinking so many times that now it will be fun to see how it feels sober... Idk if it makes sense... Somehow treating it like an experiment I want to do instead of telling myself how I can't do it w/o AL is helping me .... Sorry if doesnt make sense to yall

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

JetCityWoman;1483905 wrote: Thanks everyone for all the support today.

Kuya - I totally appreciate the thoughts about Easter and how to turn it around, away from AL. We are going to a friend's house and I'm looking forward to hanging out with them and watching the kids play. They have a great backyard and it's supposed to be 68 and sunny here that day which is amazing for Seattle this time of year. I feel like it will be a great day. And another AF day.

Elliesmom - I appreciated reading your post. My husband doesn't think I drink that much because I never appeared drunk to him. Or so he has said. I am sort of doing this on my own, mostly because I drank totally on my own.

Today was a good end to my day 3. I was super tempted to go get wine around 3:00 and then just kept telling myself I didn't need it. The temptation was there since I knew my husband wasn't getting home until late tonight. Instead, I cooked dinner with the girls, we ate, and then I took them to the pajama story time at our library from 7-8pm. That was huge for me. Generally, when my drinking started at 4:30, I wasn't going anywhere so I am so happy that I took them out and we had a great time. I plan on doing more of that!

Onto day 4 tomorrow. Best to all.

Hi JC and Congrats on Day 4! :goodjob:

I didn't realise it would be THAT warm this weekend! I'm across the Sound in Port Orchard... Getting weather reports and quitting support all in one- MWO is all purpose

Guess this means I have to hide the eggs outdoors...
Sleep well,

:l

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Just wanted to jump in and say congrats to Bobby for 7 days!!!

Bobby - I think it is really normal to feel depressed around day 7. It sucks to feel things rather than drinking to numb them, but it sucks more to be drinking.

[Vekara]

Newbies Nest

It's day 4 for me as well. I stayed up pretty late last night and realized how I need to sleep much more to get through this. I didn't drink anything last night, but instead of gaining extra energy I feel exhausted, as if I had been drinking.

[spiderwoman]

Newbies Nest

Vekara like you I have needed a lot more sleep since I quit. The first month I was in bed straight after dinner. I still try to be upsairs and in the bath (good bath products and Yankee candles essential) by about nine. That's my treat instead of alcohol, used to includb chocolate but I managed to cut that out.

I think it is because you pass out rather than sleep also your body repairs itself while you sleep. Given the amount I drank andthe number of years I did it the damage is pretty bad. It has got a lot btter but having got rid of the booze I think we need to look after ourselves more and don't forget being tired is a trigger and AL is crafty and will try everything to get you to drink.

[Vekara]

Newbies Nest

Makes sense actually. Thanks! I'll try to stay active today and go to bed early, especially since tomorrow is Friday and I'm planning to say hello to a friend in the evening, but bail out very early.

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Morning nesters - hope we are all well

Just checking in at the beginning of day 3 - but I must say that I am feeling fearful of the outcome of this evening, since I don't have tp get up for work tomorrow. Hubs will probably suggest a few beers, and I'm scared I won't be able to say "no".

Pathetic huh ???

My plan at the minute is gym after work - so that will mean I get in a little later, and I'll be hungry. I'm hoping I eat and don't succumb to the poison we call AL.

Anyway, have a happy and sober Thursday all