Newbies Nest

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

jenni and fin... you're right- moderation is torture! I think i'd rather deal with cravings than the constant thought and worry of when my next drink would be. i have a lot of respect for those who have a issues and are able to control their consumpton...not an option for me (although i do try to convince myself that i can!!)

K9, yep..your daughters definately thinking OMG!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Newbies Nest

Maybe a person is able to moderate because they don't have to THINK about moderation, they are just able to. You know those people... one glass of wine at dinner, one beer at the bar... the type that does not think of AL everyday or every hour. They moderate because they are not thinking about moderation. If you have to think about it, are you really moderating? Or slipping? I don't know. Even if I moderated I'm sure I would still be thinking "just one more" whether I did it or not. I've been thinking about this topic a lot in the past few days. The fact that I think about it so much tells me that something is wrong.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

See Byrdie?? Bring on the poll! :H

Moderation was hell for me too. When it's ALL you can think about, and you're planning and counting and scheming...that's not an enjoyable activity anymore. People that can successfully moderate do not even realize they are moderating because it's not an issue. Those that ARE moderating are spending an awful lot of time thinking about something that's "not a problem".

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Mein, you are so right...the more I tried to moderate, the harder I drank when I allowed it. My whole day revolved around those 2 glasses of wine I was 'allowing' at night. It was all I could do to make them each last an hour. A constant battle in my head...don't drink it too fast, you have to WAIT. Well you know what happens after you've had a couple glasses...the F-it's kick in....I'll start over tomorrow...I might have been able to do a night or two, but was quickly back into it. After all, what is the use of going AF if you are going to just drink again? It was an insane cycle. When I finally got to drink, it was as if I was drinking in a panic....I might not get any more! It was exhausting in every way....the whole model of it doesn't work. You can't moderate an addiction, is my experience. B

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

i agree byrd... u can't moderate an addiction; a guilty pleasure perhaps- but not an addiction. cake, i can moderate, alcohol and cigs i can't

[prettytulip]

Newbies Nest

ooops...hit post mid sentence

....but with the amount i've eaten in the past 18 days it's starting to look like i am addicted to cake....and crisps...and chocolate...and bread...and biscuits....when willi stop eating!!!

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Man, I still say there are no real moderators. They may have one or 2 at dinner, then they probably have a couple of night caps, at home AND they probably had a couple coctail at home before the dinner. They probably have some of the same troubles at one time or other but are in denial (or they ffoorget).

I really believe it's either someone drinks or they don't. Maybe they can go a week or 2 AF, but I bet they are struggling every minute.

Ya, AL is too addictive. But that's just my opinion.

-S-

[kreeves]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1487136 wrote: Good morning Kreeves!!
How are you feeling today?

Woke up feeling good this morning. A little trouble winding down last night but managed to finally go to sleep. Here we go with day two AF. My husband and I are attending an event Friday evening and alcohol will be everywhere. Any suggestions on abstaining that have worked for some of you in similar situations? Also, have any of you tried Kudzu and if so, did you have good results?

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Well, the poll is out there...
Laststraw and prettyt, I couldn't agree more....being addicted is a lot like being pregnant, either you are or you aren't!!!! :H:H:H
We'll see what the masses say!!! Thanks yall! B

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

So glad to hear it kreeves!!!

I have kudzu and others swear by it, but I didn't find it too helpful....it is purely a mind game for me to stay AF....
As for Friday, do you HAVE to go or can you come down with a "flu"?
Even with 65 days I would have trouble going out where there was drinking everywhere......but if you must go, stuff yourself with food beforehand and then bring sweet lifesavers or something like that .......and drink lots of seltzer.

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1487497 wrote: I always deluded myself into thinking I could moderate....I would moderate for ONE DAY....have two glasses of wine instead of the whole bottle....but it was TORTURE so the next day, I would finish off what I left the night before and then have ANOTHER entire bottle.
Making up for the night before.

I am in awe of anyone here who can moderate comfortably. That just isn't me. The history of my posts since I first came on to this site is hard cold proof that moderation does not work for me. I may not have ever gotten a DUI, or landed in jail or lost my home or family but I was well on my way to at least harming myself or worse when drunk. I was a quiet, isolated drinker and made a point of not going out or talking to anyone when drunk so was able to hide it pretty well. But I was ABSENT from my family even though I was sitting right there with them.

Jenni, could you just add my name to your signature? Ditto, ditto, ditto...every word!

[Elliesmom]

Newbies Nest

kreeves;1487528 wrote: Woke up feeling good this morning. A little trouble winding down last night but managed to finally go to sleep. Here we go with day two AF. My husband and I are attending an event Friday evening and alcohol will be everywhere. Any suggestions on abstaining that have worked for some of you in similar situations? Also, have any of you tried Kudzu and if so, did you have good results?

I'm one of the people who swears by the supplements, but while I noticed a definite different in taking Kuzdu as far as late afternoon AL cravings go, I'm also convinced there's more to L-Glutamine for me. L-Glut purportedly controls sugar cravings and AL is a sugar. I've been AF for 60 days (today!) and ran out of L-Glut about 5 days ago and didn't notice any difference in AL cravings, but definitely noticed after a few days that I wanted to inhale chocolate, ice cream or other sweets. I even got up in the middle of the night to open a bag of baking chips because chocolate was all I could think about. I started on the L-Glut again yesterday and the sugar cravings stopped. But yeah, there's a chance it was a head game for me, but in my opinion whatever works, right? AL is the biggest head game of all, so what the hell. At least that's how I feel.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi Friends,

Byrdie, I just voted "no, didn't work" for me in the poll on the other thread. I wanted to post my thoughts here though. My experience with "moderation" is mine alone. I'm not speaking about it in general terms, or how it might work for someone else.

I was never more miserable than when I decided to try moderation. Why was that? Because I was at a point where I knew that I needed to do something about my drinking, but I was terrified to try to quit! There had begun to be consequences to my familly life, my health, my enjoyment of life and wellbeing, etc. So as an alcoholic, I was more than willing to accept the pleading and bargaining of the addicted mind. "Just drink less!" Yes, that's it! (not really). Then I began a depraved dance of underfulfillment and catch up later on. "Hmm, this isn't working, the same crap is happening," "Umm, I don't know, just keep trying, I think?"

This was how it went for me and it was a total dead end. It was totally miserable because of the mental chatter.

The relief from all of this anguish, years of it, came from abstinence.

Kreeves, you are doing so well! I'm with Jenni on this one, I'd skip it if I were you. It sounds too risky.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Hi Pinecone & all Nesters!

I tried 100 attempts to moderate before finding MWO. Obviously, they didn't work for me. As a matter of fact, those attempts just made me drink even more
Once I started here at MWO it was to QUIT! No more attempts, no more BS!
I stayed home, barely left the house for about 3 months after quitting. I just wanted to give myself every possible chance to succeeed at what I really wanted to do - quit!

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!
Lav

[Icanwithoutacan]

Newbies Nest

Checking in for another try. I've decided to do April AF.... Oh how afraid that makes me....I didn't hang in there at all well at our camp this weekend and all I have now are extra pounds and a nasty depression to show for it. So, here goes....
Welcome Kreeves and Fin I see we are starting over together ... I'm right behind you!