Newbies Nest

[kreeves]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the advice everyone - I'm going to see what I can come up with for Friday night - it feels good to have these two days toward sobriety and I don't want to screw it up.

Welcome back "Icanwithoutacan" - I understand your fear because I'm right there with you. The folks at this site have been wonderful - truly a blessing.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Mein Sonnenschein;1487503 wrote: Maybe a person is able to moderate because they don't have to THINK about moderation, they are just able to.

Well, well...I think you're actually onto something here. I never thought about it this way but I do think it's the truth. Regardless, it is very helpful to think about moderation this way. Thank You!

Good Night,
-Fin

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Icanwithoutacan;1487585 wrote: Checking in for another try. I've decided to do April AF.... Oh how afraid that makes me....I didn't hang in there at all well at our camp this weekend and all I have now are extra pounds and a nasty depression to show for it. So, here goes....
Welcome Kreeves and Fin I see we are starting over together ... I'm right behind you!

Hi ICan, good to see you and yeah, here we are. Kreeves and I have opened up a can of whoop ass and are taking numbers, so come on along - ha! We got this thing together, aye?

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Elliesmom;1487546 wrote: I'm one of the people who swears by the supplements, but while I noticed a definite different in taking Kuzdu as far as late afternoon AL cravings go, I'm also convinced there's more to L-Glutamine for me. L-Glut purportedly controls sugar cravings and AL is a sugar. I've been AF for 60 days (today!) and ran out of L-Glut about 5 days ago and didn't notice any difference in AL cravings, but definitely noticed after a few days that I wanted to inhale chocolate, ice cream or other sweets. I even got up in the middle of the night to open a bag of baking chips because chocolate was all I could think about. I started on the L-Glut again yesterday and the sugar cravings stopped. But yeah, there's a chance it was a head game for me, but in my opinion whatever works, right? AL is the biggest head game of all, so what the hell. At least that's how I feel.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 60 DAYS ....YAY FOR YOU

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Elliesmom - 60 days - WOW what an achievemnt :goodjob:

Hello to everyone else here too ? it?s interesting listening to your conversations about moderating. Don?t you think that AL for us is like a messy relationship that went wrong?

It?s like you split up from your partner, but you?re still hung up on them and whilst sometimes you?re glad they?re out of your life, occasionally you crave to be with them again. You will give in and get back together for a blustery few days before thinking NO I?m better off without them. But whilst they are still living nearby and calling or texting occasionally, begging to see you just one more time ? you can never break free completely. For me ? this is what moderation is all about.

If that partner is dead and buried ? you will be sad and feel a terrible loss and emptiness for a while, but you know there is absolutely no going back ? so eventually you pick your life up and move on without them.

Today is Day 4 AF for me ? Antabuse has killed my beloved partner ? Sauvignon Blanc ? and now there is no going back. I feel a little empty and sad right now. At a bit of a loss if I?m honest, wondering what I?ll do with my time in coming months, but for the first time in decades I know I am moving forwards ? the thoughts about Sauvi will gradually lessen, the constant time we spent together will gradually blur into the background as new, more exciting and sober experiences take their place - and today for the first time in years, the future is looking bright!

Happy Thursday to you all.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

snapdragon....a very insightful post!! Thanks!! Yes, it is like the death of a very dear friend. But what you get in return is so much more fulfilling...you get loved ones back....you become engaged with them and involved.....and you get to watch great movies and REMEMBER them!! Or read a great book and you no longer have to go back 20 pages to figure out what you read the night before!!!
You lose one friend but gain multiples more...

[Quest for the key]

Newbies Nest

Snapdragon;1487770 wrote: Congratulations Elliesmom - 60 days - WOW what an achievemnt :goodjob:

Hello to everyone else here too ? it?s interesting listening to your conversations about moderating. Don?t you think that AL for us is like a messy relationship that went wrong?

It?s like you split up from your partner, but you?re still hung up on them and whilst sometimes you?re glad they?re out of your life, occasionally you crave to be with them again. You will give in and get back together for a blustery few days before thinking NO I?m better off without them. But whilst they are still living nearby and calling or texting occasionally, begging to see you just one more time ? you can never break free completely. For me ? this is what moderation is all about.

If that partner is dead and buried ? you will be sad and feel a terrible loss and emptiness for a while, but you know there is absolutely no going back ? so eventually you pick your life up and move on without them.

Today is Day 4 AF for me ? Antabuse has killed my beloved partner ? Sauvignon Blanc ? and now there is no going back. I feel a little empty and sad right now. At a bit of a loss if I?m honest, wondering what I?ll do with my time in coming months, but for the first time in decades I know I am moving forwards ? the thoughts about Sauvi will gradually lessen, the constant time we spent together will gradually blur into the background as new, more exciting and sober experiences take their place - and today for the first time in years, the future is looking bright!

Happy Thursday to you all.

This is how I'm feeling today on my day 4. Like I've split up with Mr Smirnoff in a heart wrenching breakup. I'm not using anything to stop, except a couple of supps (kudzu and L-glute) and am feeling a but sad and emotional. I'm going to the gym tonight, and am planning on getting home and eating instead of falling into a bottle, but I already feel like I've failed. Why is that ? I haven't got any AL in the house, and I'm not going to buy any. So why do I feel like I've failed ? Perhaps it's because it's such a rarity for me to get 4 days AF and I'm preparing to fail.

Anyway, onwards and upwards - Questy xxx

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Questy - you haven't failed!! You're doing great - well done on 4 days :goodjob:

I've failed over an over again over the years and believe the reason why is that I couldn't sever that relationship and bury it. Mr Sauvi kept wooing me and telling me how much he missed me (a bastard just like Mr Smirnoff!)

I should have stuck a knife in him years ago - but couldn't summon up the courage - you can though my friend. Next time that Mr Smirnoff has the cheek to try and chat you up again, wack him over the head with a great big mallet and then stamp on him!! (I'm not generally a violent person, but loving this image!! :H)

I had to hire a hit man to kill Mr Sauvi in the end (Antabuse) He's made absolutely sure that there's no going back this time. Gone, splat!

Stay strong Questy - be kind to yourself whilst you're mourning - eat well, stay fit and put the past behind you. :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Great conversations, all! This is the break up of a major relationship in our lives...one that is out to kill us. You will experience all the stages of grief...Anger (prolly what brought you here....I'M SICK OF THIS HAMSTER WHEEL!)....Denial....(after 2 or 3 days...maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought? Hell, what's all the fuss, I've proved I can go without it! I'm cured!) BARGAINING (this is the one that gets us....I'll try to moderate! Everyone else is drinking...what's the big deal? I'll just drink on weekends! This is where we set new rules for ourselves...then break them) Depression...(this is the pity party stage...the whole world drinks but me...I'm missing out, I guess this is all there is...sigh....I guess this is life) and finally, ACCEPTANCE! This is where it's at! Acceptance means that you can move on! You not only know you can't have one drink, ever, you embrace it! And are FINE with that!!! It is a process for sure, and sometimes we slide back a stage or two...but the sooner you can move to acceptance the happier you will be. Being an ALKIE isn't the worst thing that can happen! Being an ALKIE in denial is!!!
Everyone is doing great!!! Keep on going, you will never regret being sober!!!! Byrdie

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Day one again. I've gone back and forth on the hampster wheel for several weeks now, and I see my life spiraling out of control again. This must stop. My work is really suffering. I'm not past the point of no return, but if I don't get things together soon, people are going to start to notice. I've been having spells of uncontrollable crying, and I can't seem to get out of bed. Gosh, it seems the more I quit, and the more I start back drinking, the worse each drinking spell gets. I'm tired of lying in bed feeling like a loser while people around me are enjoying and embracing life. I want to be one of them.

I popped two Antabuse this morning and wrote "DAY 1" on my calendar.

Glad to be back, and I'm looking forward to meeting all of you (again for some of you!).

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Great advice Byrdie, I have visited many of those stages over and over again but have never reached acceptance, however I know I will finally be able to achieve an AF life.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1487806 wrote: Great conversations, all! This is the break up of a major relationship in our lives...one that is out to kill us. You will experience all the stages of grief...Anger (prolly what brought you here....I'M SICK OF THIS HAMSTER WHEEL!)....Denial....(after 2 or 3 days...maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought? Hell, what's all the fuss, I've proved I can go without it! I'm cured!) BARGAINING (this is the one that gets us....I'll try to moderate! Everyone else is drinking...what's the big deal? I'll just drink on weekends! This is where we set new rules for ourselves...then break them) Depression...(this is the pity party stage...the whole world drinks but me...I'm missing out, I guess this is all there is...sigh....I guess this is life) and finally, ACCEPTANCE! This is where it's at! Acceptance means that you can move on! You not only know you can't have one drink, ever, you embrace it! And are FINE with that!!! It is a process for sure, and sometimes we slide back a stage or two...but the sooner you can move to acceptance the happier you will be. Being an ALKIE isn't the worst thing that can happen! Being an ALKIE in denial is!!!
Everyone is doing great!!! Keep on going, you will never regret being sober!!!! Byrdie

Love this one...from someone who has succeeded and knows there is a life on the other side of this process. Thanks Byrd! And, Elliesmom - 60 days!!! Whoooooop!!! Outstanding.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!

Regarding moderation: I wonder where ALL of these successful moderators are? I know that some here believe that the moderators have successfully moderated and moved on from the site. I beg to differ. I know of several that left because they were embarrassed to admit that moderation didn't work (I have talked to them off of these boards). Being that it's such a HOT topic around here, you would think the successful moderators would be shouting from the rooftops about their success. In reality, there are maybe 2 or 3 that can do it. Not many when you look at the big picture.

[BHOG]

Newbies Nest

My congratulations to all who have had 1 day, 4 days, a week, a month, whatever...any time sober is better than any time drunk.

A veery good friend of mine has been doctorate research into addiction. Brain stuides show that individuals predisposed to addiction (any type) will have a tendancy to go right back to the negative behaviour if the addiction is re-ignited in any way.
So for me that means: There is no first drink, because it will always lead to another...and another....and away we go.
Oly to curse at myself the next day. or whenever I sober up. Not worth it.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Great to see the site back up and running!
BHOG, that has sure been my experience with addiction. Gets worse every time....(scary).
Rooni, it's so good to see you back in the nest. Settle in here and get cozy...here's the butt Velcro!

I sure missed eva' body!!! Stay strong for the weekend! Friday is just another day of the week!! Don't give up your quit no matter what and no matter who! Protect it with your life! Hugs all, Byrdie