Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

I was talking with an MWO friend yesterday about how to completely commit yourself to getting off AL.
There is no single answer but this is how it happened for me:


It took a few weeks of whatever 'brainwashing' occurs when you read all the posts at MWO before I felt with certainty that I had to totally quit -now and forever. At first I knew it logically but at a deeper level hadn't accepted it.

I think that as you get to know and like people at MWO and see that they are having better lives and that you can be like them with no regrets --- it just finally sinks in. There was no single moment of clarity for me. I more noticed that what I was posting were the words of someone who was done with AL. And I am.

Stick with it, and you can get there.



Take advantage of what MWO offers - stories of success and failure, a place to share your pain and have some of the burden lifted, a place to ask questions you can't ask elsewhere, a place to be with people who in this aspect of their lives are just like you, and a place to help others. Take the risks of posting and reaching out. This is a safe place to do that, particularly in the nest.


So --- even if you have doubts or set-backs or just are sick of the whole thing ---
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!!!

:h NS

[Blossoms]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe;1488172 wrote: I am in official FREAK OUT MODE right now! My husband is on his way to South Africa and this whole move just became incredibly "real". You would have thought that my incredibly disassembled and very messy house would have been enough to solidify the big life changes that are about to happen, but it was a simple trip to the airport and a very tearful phone call from my favorite Aunt that sent my heart racing and my head spinning. I am pretty sure that if I were still a drinker I would have found my way into a bottle of something and I would not have been picky either. Thank heavens I no longer drink. It is crazy but in the 61 days of being AF I am pretty sure I haven't had an urge to drink like I did today. But I no longer drink......I had to tell myself this over and over today. I read a great quote that went something like this.....Don't let your fears determine your future. I asked my Mom today what she thinks my Dad would do about this crazy move, she said he probably would have kicked your ass off the plane and taken your seat. It made me feel a little better, and now I feel like a big giant ungrateful jerk. I said at the beginning of my journey to becoming and remaining AF that my Dad really would have kicked my ass for living my life the way I was by not living my life......just had no idea how far away from home my journey would take me. Couple of more weeks for me till I begin a new crazy chapter in my life.

When I first moved to Japan as a young thing I was absolutely terrified.
I did a stop over in Singapore on the way and when I got to the gate ready to catch the plane to Tokyo everyone around me was speaking Japanese and I could barely understand a thing. It suddenly all hit me what I was doing. I ran to the toilets and sobbed my eyes out and seriously considered catching the next flight back to Australia.

I've now been in Japan for more than 15 years, and while there are things that annoy me - it is my home and the thought of moving back to Australia is scary:H

[thelaststraw]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the reply.

Hmmmmm. I felt really good after the first weeks of my first quit, than good again after this last (and final) quit. Then since taking Sam-e (after reading alot about it ) I feel really really good.

I am hoping is not a Manic thing going on. But I have this lack of depression - told hubby 2 days ago - hey, I'm not depressed. He said "good".

:yeah:

-S-

[kreeves]

Newbies Nest

Cleo Night;1488694 wrote: Need help and words of encouragement today if you could please I am sorry to ask but I hurt myself, started drinking again, just couldnt deal with sobriety with my depression though I was doing well first week and a bit and feeling positive dont feel so great right now

Cleo- I believe in the power of prayer and I am sending many your way this morning. You can start again and just know that everyone here has there arms around you. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
NoSugar, I tell you, you approached your journey as if it were a science experiment ...you looked at the questions, put forth a hypothesis, and set out to find the facts. You TORE into this site and read and posted, and asked and offered. You USED this site as a real tool! (and that's just what it is!!) It gives you the ability to see people just like us, and how they did and how they did it. It gives you the gift to see the past, present and future....(both ways, sober and not). This really IS an amazing place, IF you use it.
My hat is off to you, NoSugar, for not only receiving help, but offering a wing out to help others, too. Well done to you!
Hope everyone has a safe and sober Sunday! It IS a choice! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Byrdie!

You are exactly right about the scientific method I am trying to apply here --- that is my training and how I pretty much approach the world. I would encourage everyone here who is trying to get off AL to conduct your own n=1 experiments --- when they work, it can be a Complete Breakthrough . Like with any science experiment, build on the existing knowledge that is here at MWO and don't repeat the exact same failed experiment over and over--- change a variable and give it another try.

Have a great day, everyone!

NS

[friedabee]

Newbies Nest

NS, I got serious about my long-standing problem when n>1; I had upped my ration, and knew it was time for a change! Enjoy the rest of the weekend; day seven for the AAAs.

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1488788 wrote: Thanks, Byrdie!

You are exactly right about the scientific method I am trying to apply here --- that is my training and how I pretty much approach the world. I would encourage everyone here who is trying to get off AL to conduct your own n=1 experiments --- when they work, it can be a Complete Breakthrough . Like with any science experiment, build on the existing knowledge that is here at MWO and don't repeat the exact same failed experiment over and over--- change a variable and give it another try.

Have a great day, everyone!

NS

NoSugar....I like your style. . I thought of you yesterday, I was at the mall with Maggie and there were 2 18 week old golden retrievers, they were brothers. Absolutely adorable! Wouldn't ya know it, my Maggie sniffed them out from a distance and of course was in all of her glory as these 2 little guys pounced, tugged and licked her to death. It was hysterical. I need to get her, her own golden when I get to Swaziland. :H

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi OneRedShoe!

I am living vicariously through you and your upcoming adventure. Keep us posted!

Yes, Maggie might need a little golden puppy when you move!! Plus, then you'll have a couple canine BFFs to hang out with . I'm glad you've worked it out so that she can go with you.

I bet the next several days are going to be busy and full of good-byes. It is just great that you are feeling so good and ready for all the challenges. Did you know about all of this possibly coming up when you made the choice to quit AL for good? If not --- miraculous timing!!!

Anyway, I am so happy for you!!

:h NS

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1488817 wrote: Hi OneRedShoe!

I am living vicariously through you and your upcoming adventure. Keep us posted!

Yes, Maggie might need a little golden puppy when you move!! Plus, then you'll have a couple canine BFFs to hang out with . I'm glad you've worked it out so that she can go with you.

I bet the next several days are going to be busy and full of good-byes. It is just great that you are feeling so good and ready for all the challenges. Did you know about all of this possibly coming up when you made the choice to quit AL for good? If not --- miraculous timing!!!

Anyway, I am so happy for you!!

:h NS

Nope I had no idea about this move when I made the decision to quit alcohol. All though I have had a couple of people ask me if I was drunk when I made the decision to join my husband in this crazy adventure. :H. Things really do happen for a reason, I am a firm believer in fate.
I don't have all of Maggie's export/import paper work in hand YET, and won't go without her. Takes 7 days for all of her blood work to come back and that will be the make it or break it factor, so for now I wait.
Either way kicking alcohol out of my life for good was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life, one that I don't and will NEVER regret.
How has your journey been thus far?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe;1488822 wrote: Nope I had no idea about this move when I made the decision to quit alcohol. All though I have had a couple of people ask me if I was drunk when I made the decision to join my husband in this crazy adventure. :H. Things really do happen for a reason, I am a firm believer in fate.
I don't have all of Maggie's export/import paper work in hand YET, and won't go without her. Takes 7 days for all of her blood work to come back and that will be the make it or break it factor, so for now I wait.
Either way kicking alcohol out of my life for good was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life, one that I don't and will NEVER regret.
How has your journey been thus far?

Hi, again, ORS.

I hope you get good news on the paperwork soon - living in limbo is so hard!

Speaking of that - that was what my attempts at moderating and weak attempts to quit before joining MWO were like. I was in sort of a hellish limbo and had no idea what I was doing from day to day.
Starting to drink alcohol more than very occasionally was the worst decision I ever made in my life and like you, deciding to quit is the best. All other major decisions are ones that I am happy about or content with so right now, Life is Good .

Let us know when you get Maggie's "passport"! :h NS

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1488839 wrote: Hi, again, ORS.

I hope you get good news on the paperwork soon - living in limbo is so hard!

Speaking of that - that was what my attempts at moderating and weak attempts to quit before joining MWO were like. I was in sort of a hellish limbo and had no idea what I was doing from day to day.
Starting to drink alcohol more than very occasionally was the worst decision I ever made in my life and like you, deciding to quit is the best. All other major decisions are ones that I am happy about or content with so right now, Life is Good .

Let us know when you get Maggie's "passport"! :h NS

You're description of moderating and weak attempts to quit was like living in a hellish limbo makes complete sense to me. Life is just so much better without alcohol. I don't feel like a chicken running around with her head cut off any longer. I handle stress in a much healthier way now. I enjoy my life and just being....if that makes sense.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Oneredshoe;1488844 wrote: I enjoy my life and just being....if that makes sense.

It makes PERFECT sense! Here is a MWO quote I love, I think from Kuya:
We aren't Human Doings, we are Human Beings!

Now that is fine just to BE, everything is so much better.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,

Spent several hours today at my dads house going through stuff...cleaned out some cabinets and threw away some junk..Cleaned dads chest of drawers out so we can move that to his new place. This place allows furniture from home so we are taking his fav ,(ugly) chair, bed, night stand and chest of drawers...may take an additional chair if it will fit...will need to wait for that.
It is depressing and so sad for me to do all this but there is no one else...I just have to pace myself and not try to do too much on each trip over....sigh..
But the sun was out all day and it was 73 so that made me happy...
Dottie

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

Dottie Belle;1488880 wrote: Evening all,

Spent several hours today at my dads house going through stuff...cleaned out some cabinets and threw away some junk..Cleaned dads chest of drawers out so we can move that to his new place. This place allows furniture from home so we are taking his fav ,(ugly) chair, bed, night stand and chest of drawers...may take an additional chair if it will fit...will need to wait for that.
It is depressing and so sad for me to do all this but there is no one else...I just have to pace myself and not try to do too much on each trip over....sigh..
But the sun was out all day and it was 73 so that made me happy...
Dottie

Sending you cyber love Dottie,

It is often hard to try to find a bright spot in difficult times, but you did. Keep trying to find and cherish those bright spots, it helps. I personally love an "ugly" chair and think that every home should have one, gives it character and brings comfort. :h. Hang in there.