Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters & Happy Saturday

Grateful for the good news coming out of Boston this morning....finally.

Wishing everyone a safe & AF Saturday!
Lav

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Lav,
Just wanted to let you know your early morning greetings start my day off right. Looking forward to an AF Saturday,
thank goodness for the good news in Boston..

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

AL and his advocates

You know, even when you are feeling really strong about all this and very committed, obstacles will be thrown in your way!!

I was at another fancy work-related dinner last night. Ordering soda water and lime again went just fine (Thanks, Free, I'm actually starting to WANT it! )

Then, I started feeling annoyed, but not uneasy or deprived, when it took the other 7 people almost 20 min (!!!) to choose a red wine. I took the opportunity to go to the restroom and text a friend about how I was feeling. It helped me focus and the encouraging return message gave me extra resolve!

Later, there was to be a toast and I quietly said 'no thanks' to the champagne offered. The server was moving on from me without pouring but the person doing the toast instructed him to give me just a bit. That made me even more annoyed (read: MAD) but I clinked my glass, raised it, and put it back down without drinking any. (It probably helped that I have never liked champagne).

During the course of the dinner, I was offered wine 4 times!! It later occurred to me that this part way MY FAULT! It has been so long since I have declined a glass of wine, I forgot about turning my glass over - duh . So, I'll definitely do that straight off next time!!

Anyway, as long as we're going to function in the AL-soaked world and not be total hermits, this stuff is going to come up -- some of it will be unexpected but we can always have a plan. Maybe sometimes people are trying to derail us but I bet more often, people just cannot imagine that we don't want a drink or to participate fully in a toast --- all of it is considered so normal.

Have a great weekend everyone!

:h NS

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!! Great to hear from everyone!
NoSugar, I'm so glad you made it thru that dinner....those are TOUGH, no question about it. That's our 'Natural Habitat'....where there are no spouses and no driving and the company is paying for the meal....THAT IS HARD! I am so happy that you were able to stay strong. Pressure from coworkers is fierce....I had one guy come up and offer something, when I refused a couple times, he asked me what my quit date was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently, he is one of us, but what a rude thing to ask....he was lit, by the way...had he been sober I might have engaged in a careful conversation. I am certain that just like me, many have tried to control their drinking and these things it really gets out of control...to see someone controlling it makes them jealous....I've had many almost force it on me and actually hand me a drink!! It takes RESOLVE! Fortunately, I'm stubborn as an ole mule, so if you try and force me to do something I don't want to do, I dig my (tar)heels in and stand my ground!! Sometimes at those meetings I feel like the only woman in a men's prison with a fistful of 'pardons'!!!
I am so proud of everyone! You will never regret ONE day you spend sober! EVER! It is freedom!! Happy Sattidy, eva'body!! XO, Byrdie

[nurdl]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters! I haven't checked into the nest for a while but I figure its always good to visit. NoSugar, those dinner events are always going to come along. I'm facing one myself. Good on you! Always have a plan as the wise ones here say! I'm off. Laters and be strong!

[kreeves]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1494714 wrote: You know, even when you are feeling really strong about all this and very committed, obstacles will be thrown in your way!!

I was at another fancy work-related dinner last night. Ordering soda water and lime again went just fine (Thanks, Free, I'm actually starting to WANT it! )

Then, I started feeling annoyed, but not uneasy or deprived, when it took the other 7 people almost 20 min (!!!) to choose a red wine. I took the opportunity to go to the restroom and text a friend about how I was feeling. It helped me focus and the encouraging return message gave me extra resolve!

Later, there was to be a toast and I quietly said 'no thanks' to the champagne offered. The server was moving on from me without pouring but the person doing the toast instructed him to give me just a bit. That made me even more annoyed (read: MAD) but I clinked my glass, raised it, and put it back down without drinking any. (It probably helped that I have never liked champagne).

During the course of the dinner, I was offered wine 4 times!! It later occurred to me that this part way MY FAULT! It has been so long since I have declined a glass of wine, I forgot about turning my glass over - duh . So, I'll definitely do that straight off next time!!

Anyway, as long as we're going to function in the AL-soaked world and not be total hermits, this stuff is going to come up -- some of it will be unexpected but we can always have a plan. Maybe sometimes people are trying to derail us but I bet more often, people just cannot imagine that we don't want a drink or to participate fully in a toast --- all of it is considered so normal.

Have a great weekend everyone!

:h NS

Congratulation NS on maintaining your resolve in obviously a difficult situation last night. You are so right about living in an AL-soaked world - it's everywhere. I used to love that fact but now, like all of us, am facing it from a totally different perspective now. I had a small challenge last night during our quarterly "Fright Night" party. The women in my department get together and watch a really scary/disgusting movie and drink wine or whatever other poison they pick. It was a little difficult but ok. The more challenges like this we face successfully, the more confidence we will gain to face the next go-around.

Happy AF Saturday to all! Getting ready to have a birthday party for my 11 year old son. Wow, I'll actually be sober for this one!

[moni]

Newbies Nest

No Sugar, it sounds like you did really well. I find socialising trying, more due to other people's reactions. This evening I'm going on my first AF date. Well, it's not really a date. It's dinner with a male friend and I'm curious to see how it goes this time as last time we ever did this I polished off a bottle of wine with my dinner. He doesn't drink which makes it a bit easier I guess. Or at least he didn't drink back then. Would be comical if the roles were reversed (NOT!). I'm annoyed because I've become partial to a glass of AF wine but they don't serve it in restaurants. So I'm in a dilemma about what to drink. I don't like sugary drinks at all.

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, starting on day 3, sadly, the longest I've gone in sometime. Thanks to all for the inspiration.

kreeves, enjoy the birthday party. It will great to have sober memories of the day!

[Struggles 106]

Newbies Nest

HI NEWBIES NEXT

I usually don't come here, but thought I would check in. Such a good place!

The work dinner situation can be daunting. I have 2 work trips coming up and I know there will be scenarios just like yours NS. Sometimes people seem annoyed that you're not drinking. It doesn't bother me though.

I am still a newbie at 4 months so I should probably hang out here more often. We are such a great group of people and I am so happy to be a part of it.

Peace and love to all

[Oneredshoe]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1494698 wrote: Quick note for oneredshoe: So glad to hear from you!! I was thinking about you last night and how stressful a move is. I think you will be quite happy once you have downsized your belongings. I find that the less physical clutter I have, the less clutter in my brain (or so I convince myself)
When is the actual move?

Jenni......ahh coffee, I LOVE COFFEE! Who was recently on here talking about adding cinnamon and milk? That sounds really yummy.
Downsizing my belongings has made me feel lighter and freer. To think there are so many people in the world that have so little but yet are content and make due with what they have really helped to motivate me to purge with brutality.
The move is hopefully First week of May, still waiting on the rest of my pooches paper work. I kind of want to scream at me vet and his office manager right now, I literally made a step by step instruction manual as to how all of her paper work is to be filled out, they just can't seem to get it right. It is a good thing I am anal retentive, because I have caught some major mistakes in their work. I honestly don't know how much more I can simplify it for them or stress the importance of it all being correct . I couldn't imagine having to go through any part of this move with alcohol in my life, good thing I don't drink anymore.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful AF weekend.
MUAH
Red

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Hiya Nesters,
Just reading back through a bit...had a busy day today cleaning and homework. I have more energy this week-end and got a few more things done that I needed to do.

I forget who it was, but I can't believe someone actually had a wedding reception with no food! You poor thing! How completely rude and classless. I couldn't ever imagine having any type of function without food especially a wedding. That's CRAZY. I think I would have left!
I HAVE, however, been at a wedding without ALCOHOL, and at the time I was highly outraged and couldn't imagine I had to tolerate that.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

olunteer lunch today then went to the garden store and got some great veggies to plant. The weather here in Ohio is flaky....80 one day and 50 today.....had to turn the heat back on...boohiss......
Church tomorrow and maybe to a meditation thingy at the yoga studio...
6 days and counting.....actually only 3 work days...I am going to work from home on Wednesday...dh is having an outpatient procedure but he will be twilight sedated so I have to take him...hope they don't find anything.....prayers please....
Dottie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1494696 wrote: For some reason, when reading Kuya's post, I thought of a memory that I have never thought of before. The memory was walking in to work being REALLY hungover (nothing new there) and feeling like I just couldn't do my job anymore. That the responsibility was too great, etc. The memory of having NO SELF CONFIDENCE......Wow
I am blown away. Of course, I NEVER feel that way now.
That memory would not exist without my sobriety, that I know for sure.

Isn't it scary how close we may have come to blowing our careers? I used to dread every day, thought I couldn't take the stress of my job anymore, even took a year out at one point......but still drank !

In fact EVERYTHING was to blame.....my job, my kids, my partner, society......everything EXCEPT booze.

Now I am sober I love my job, my relationships with my kids are fantastic, the world is just life........it was THE BOOZE that was the problem.

( my partner WAS a dick though.....I quit him AND the booze ! :H:H:H)

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

No Sugar......good on you, I went to a wedding where booze was repeatedly pushed on me. It gets much easier with time, and quite fun 'drunk watching'.

I just find I get bored earlier.

Dottie ..... Good luck for your DH next week

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Nursie!! So great to see you! I believe you have a prize coming your way!!! On behalf of the whole NN, I hope you will accept this special award for 60+ days!

:goodtime::goodtime:

I am so proud of you! This is a major accomplishment in our world. It took determination, and a good, solid PLAN. Great job, Miss Nursie!! Would you have a few words as to your approach and what worked for you? Well done!! Byrdie