Newbies Nest

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for that Lavande!!
I am often NOT believing in myself...I needed what you just said. Instead of embracing the trepidation that keeps trying to sneak into my thoughts I need to embrace my sober self and BELIEVE I can do this because I am doing it!!!!

So thank you for giving me permission to pat myself on the back (well, you were directing your post to NS, but I will take it nonetheless

we need a new smiley that pats itself on the back....
This will have to suffice :iwin:

[halo]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1495281 wrote: Hi, Halo.

Do you in some ways feel like it is hard to believe you are being successful? I do. After so much lack of success, it seems miraculous that something is actually working.

I don't want to question it but I sure appreciate it and all of you that have helped make it happen!

:h NS

No Sugar,
Thanks for the congrats! I agree about experiencing the lack of success, I have spent some time thinking about why I was continually unsuccessful in my previous attempts to quit. I believe that in my previous attempts to quit, I felt that my life didn't all of a sudden significantly change for the better, I still had stress, feelings of sadness that came and went and difficult days to cope with. My response was hell I quit drinking for a week maybe two, my life hadn't completely changed for the better, might as well have a drink. This thought process was REPEATED ,OVER AND OVER AGAIN !
Now my philosophy is I know that quitting drinking is not going to result in a euphoric life with no flaws. My kids, at times, are still going to whine and scream, my spouse is still going to leave his shoes all over the front hallway, some of my family members are going to remain insensitive and selfish and work will continue (at times) to have me beating my head against the wall. The difference NOW is that I know AL makes these situations worse because AL makes me feel worse. I need the best me to deal with stressful times and AL most definitely DOES NOT contribute to the best I can be. This change in thought pattern along with this tremendous MWO community (:h Newbies Nest) is the reason I believe I have finally started to achieve success. Does being AF mean your life becomes a bed of roses with sugar on top, no, but AL makes it much worse! No Sugar, what do you think is resulting in your success?

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

halo;1495300 wrote: ! No Sugar, what do you think is resulting in your success?

Oh, Halo, I tend to be so verbose, the Nest is probably quaking with fear that I will try to answer that question :H !

I will work on a reply and post it if I ever manage to figure all of it out, for one thing, and then shorten it sufficiently...

:h NS

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1495306 wrote: Oh, Halo, I tend to be so verbose, the Nest is probably quaking with fear that I will try to answer that question :H !

I will work on a reply and post it if I ever manage to figure all of it out, for one thing, and then shorten it sufficiently...

:h NS

My short answer......I don't need alcohol and I never did. I was simply addicted and now I am not. I will never be addicted again as long as I do not drink it. I AM FREE

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1495327 wrote: My short answer......I don't need alcohol and I never did. I was simply addicted and now I am not. I will never be addicted again as long as I do not drink it. I AM FREE

You, Kuya, are a Master of getting to the core of the issue! Although I didn't want to face or think about some of your pithy comments to me, they are a key part of why I am having success (So, that is part of my answer to Halo's question ).

Thanks for having the courage to risk saying things you probably knew I didn't want to hear. I needed to.

:h NS

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Halo
you hit the nail on the head!!! You are me and I am you!!! What is so remarkably true is that the problems in life DON"T go away but they sure as hell get a lot better to deal with SOBER. It took me a long time to really figure that out. I don't think it is something I could have read about and then said, OK< I will stop drinking.....it was a journey I had to take. I consider a person very lucky to be able to be told this rather than live through the agony of stopping then starting, then stopping, then starting then stopping.....etc.

Thanks for putting that down in writing!! The more clarity I get on this issue, the stronger I become in my resolve to never drink again.
:thanks:

Of course, Kuya tells it like it is....love that about you Kuya!!!! And I thank you for it...it so helps me.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

NS: can't wait to read your post. I love them and I feel like we are kindred spirits.....

[Marieth]

Newbies Nest

Back in the Nest. AF Day Two.

So I got up this morning, and I have to rumble through my living room to get the the bathroom. Normally that walk is fraught with self-abuse, because I can see the debris of my drinking the night before. This morning, the debris that I saw was my tea mug and my tea bags from last night, and a happily wagging dog because we played last night for the first time in forever. That made last night's anxiety very worth it.

I will not drink today.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Welcowme back to the nest Marieth!
Keep that good feeling going & your anxiety will soon disappear

Jennie & NS, I will keep checking in on you so be sure to keep that positive attitude going
It really does make all the difference.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Monday.
Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
It's great to see all the positive posts about living AF! It really is an amazing transformation.

You may notice that I always direct new folks to the Tool Box....I say 'there are 100's of tips and COPING SKILLS there'. I believe that more than anything else, we are learning to COPE with situations now....and that is NEW to us...or it was to me. When the going got tough, I turned to my ole buddy, AL. He took that away so that I didn't have to learn how to cope, other than zero'ing out. He helped me cope with the good, bad and the ugly!! What a guy! It's learning the coping skills that is the trick...not drinking is a part of that, but it isn't ALL of it. Learning to cope is a skill and you get better at it. I guess when the fog lifts from all of this it's because we have acquired those needed skills. Sorting out problems now uses a whole different skill set than it used to. When life hands me a pile of dookie, I can feel myself sorting it out instead of drowning it out....it's a different set of muscles. This takes time to learn, too. The period from about 4 months to 6 months, I had to put into practice "fake it till you make it". I knew I had to NOT DRINK even tho things were better, but not where I had heard everyone else being. I wanted MindPeace, and I didn't have it. Everyone gets there in his/her own time....and I finally got it.
Folks like Lav, K9, Pinecone, K9, Kuya, and me don't hang around the NN because it's easy...this is the place that the whole site refers folks to who have hit bottom! We hang out here show by example that if you stick it out, you will not only survive, but thrive in your AF'ness! Adopt a policy of Zero Tolerance! Yes, I am a hardliner, but you have to be to beat this thing. Sips lead to slips lead to SLIDES into hell. Sometimes we hardliners get slings and arrows, but check out our dates below...we have some solid AF time under our belts! Stay AF and you will never regret it! Stay the course, there ARE smoother waters ahead! No matter what and no matter who! Byrdie

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning,

Byrdie & Kuya, thank you for encouragement & insight! On to day 5.

Wonderful day to all!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Three weeks down. Thank you MWO!

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

:yay: :wow: :wd: - Way to go Fin!!

We're level pegging - lets celebrate with a drink! How about a ginger beer (non-al of course!!) my favourite tipple of the day.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1495451 wrote: NS: can't wait to read your post. I love them and I feel like we are kindred spirits.....

Thanks, Jenni

We have so much support here and it is especially nice to have a friend with many similarities at the same stage of the journey !

:h NS

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Snapdragon;1495505 wrote: :yay: :wow: :wd: - Way to go Fin!!

We're level pegging - lets celebrate with a drink! How about a ginger beer (non-al of course!!) my favourite tipple of the day.

Sounds good! What brand do you like?