Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey, Mikeda1!!! Welcome to the nest! You have landed in a great spot if you are serious about getting AL out of your life! Read back a few days and get to know us...be sure to check out the Tool Box (link below) and find 100's of tips and coping skills to help you thru the first challenging days! It's a real treasure trove of information!
Just jump in! What brings you by? Byrdie

[MagMom]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning!

I just started this journey yesterday and am trying to read up on everything I can. This thread has been especially helpful.

Day 1 AF for me with a whole new lifetime ahead.

Peace

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hang in there I am on day 6 the first 24-48 hours are the worst. I have been down this road numerous times. Hot baths, LOTS of water, and something new i found to help with anxiety is all natural valerian root. it works like benzos to help the racing mind, heart, and crazy thoughts.

Hope this helps!

[MagMom]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for your advice and encouragement!

[LostSoul33]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, I am new to this site as of yesterday - think Ive found the right forum. Been directed here by a few members. Anyhow, wanted to start off with my story and thank you for having me.

I have been a HEAVY drinker for the past 4 years. Meaning not a day went by that I havent had a drink. The idea of being sober scares me because Ive only dealt with life drunk.

It started off with pot smoking in high school and then college, everyday. I stopped for a few years once I started working but would still get loaded when I went out to a party (pretty often). Then in my mid-twenties, I would have a glass or two of wine a night to "unwind" while still smoking pot to fall asleep.

By the time I was 30, I was drinking about a bottle of wine every night and then 6 drinks in one sitting while out socially.

About 2 years ago, everything around me collapsed, I lost my relationship, my career most likely because of my addiction to alcohol. So, instead of dealing with my reality, I was so depressed that I just drank more and upped my drink of choice to hard liquor. I would drink from the moment I woke up to the minute I passed out. Living off my savings from the high powered career I lost due to my careless behaviour.

Everything I did throughout the day depended on alcohol - I would walk to a bar and drink alone and pick up from the liquor store to make sure I had enough before I ran out. I went from being a social butterfly to a closet drinker with nothing. The funny thing is that nobody knew. I was drinking vodka in a water bottle all day long. Living a secret life. Even my recent boyfriend who doesnt drink didnt know, which is strange because I couldnt remember 80% of our conversations but it was never brought up so I figured if the person closest to me didnt think i was a drunk no one would. But the joke has been on me.

For the past 5 months, it got worse, I have been drinking up 4 to 5 750 ml bottles of vodka per week, all alone. I gave up all hobbies, dont go to social gatherings anymore because I am either already too drunk or just prefer to keep drinking alone. I actually dont want people to see me drink-- talk about living a double life. These people must suspect something in my behaviour or just think Im crazy. My boyfriend just broke up with me because he couldnt take my "moodiness" and horrible temper (I never had one when I wasnt drunk) and I barely have any friends because I had managed to fight with all of them or just act selfishly by not being there for them.

Two weeks ago when I went to throw out my stash of bottles, I counted 12-- I had drank them in less than 3 weeks. The visual of me throwing away each bottle in the dumpster is what did it. I am done with living this disgusting life.

These are the changes I have made so far, last week, I tapered off the booze to 2 drinks a day and even skipped 3 days out of the week altogether. Im shaky, tired as hell, craving alcohol but getting through it. My doctor gave me some xanex (i told him it was for anxiety) so thats helping with edginess. I sent out my resume and got a number of calls back, this will be the first time I am working in 2 years.

I didnt drink Saturday or Sunday but had 4 drinks on Monday. Not proud about that but havent had a drink since. Its Day 3 and although I feel foggy as ever, my heart feels warm because I have FINALLY opened up about this secret life I have been leading for so long.

Today, I have a job interview and I hope it goes well. I have to become a functioning member of society again-- I have a great education and resume and my whole life ahead of me to meet a man, get married and have a babies. I cannot be alone anymore. I am committed to doing this and through this forum I dont feel alone. You have no idea what a release this has been.

So now that you know my story, I hope you will join me in my journey in restoring my life. I plan to take it one day at a time and if you dont mind, I plan to share this experience with you. Ive never posted on a forum before, just read others' stories while sipping a drink hoping that one day I had the strength not only admit I had a problem but to speak up about it and do something about it. You have all in your own way inspired to to get on this path. I envy all of you and thank you for giving me this time to listen.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

A HUGE welcome to you LOSTSOUL!!!

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Funny how drinking is supposedly a "social" activity, but eventually leads us to isolation. Towards the end of my drinking I would leave functions early or not go at all so I could just go home and drink. I never drank in front of anybody else. After 2 DUI's...I decided I would be a couch potato drinker only. Even THAT got me into trouble though. From acting stupidly on the phone/texts/emails to falling and waking up with mysterious bruises from head to toe. I can't tell you how many times I woke up in a panic at 3:00am and scrambled for my phone to see who I'd called/texted that I didn't even remember...piecing together the previous night was a daily struggle. Barely surviving a day at work with a hangover was pure HELL. I finally just got to the point where I said "ENOUGH!!". I mean, why would someone CHOOSE to feel like I did, every day of their life? I knew the "cure" to my sickness....STOP DRINKING. If only it were that easy huh? Well, it took MANY tries, but eventually my quit stuck. Yours will too. Stay close to us and keep us posted on how you're doing. We are glad you're here!!!

K9

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, LostSoul :welcome:

I am glad you are here. You sound so ready to do this! With that attitude and the tools you can find out about here, plus the love and support of a group that understands what you are talking about, you can do it!

The 'double life' is what has driven so many of us to MWO. Sometimes I used to almost wish I was a "real alcoholic" (which I guess to my confused mind meant homeless and sleeping in a gutter). Of course I didn't really want that but the burden and stress of a secret 'life' that I was working so hard to keep that way finally wore me out and when I couldn't quit on my own, came here.

You will not believe how great it is not to live dishonestly!! I am happier than I was before I got into this mess because I did not know what a gift an authentic life is.

It is my wish for everyone here!

:h NS

[JingleJo]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone, hope all is well. I haven't dropped by for a while due to being sidetracked and pre-occupied! Happy to say that it hasn't involved any alcohol tho. A few weeks away from being 6 months AF!!! Can hardly believe it. I'm particularly proud of myself as there has been a few big life events recently that would have normally sent me straight to the crutch (or clutches) of alcohol - had a suicide in the family and also court appearances due to an ex-partner. However, the last thing I wanted to do was drink, so that's major progress.

To anyone just starting out - I can't re-iterate enough that life really is much, much brighter and better without drink and it is very achievable to live a fulfilled life AF. My life has never been better, despite the aforementioned events. I just know, if I were still a drinker, that I would currently be mentally destroyed right now through hitting the bottle 'to cope'. So very grateful that is not the case and I am able to face up to things head on and head strong.

Anyway, best wishes to all, hope things are going ok for you all.

Love, Jo x

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Hi there JingleJo! I am sorry for your loss in the family. It's great to see you doing so well. I always admired how you charged head on into an awesome AF life! It is pretty astonishing how much better life is AF, you said it very well.

Welcome, Mikeda1, MagMom and Lostsoul33! You have landed in the place to get better. This place has the TOOLS and SUPPORT that will help you along the way. It really is possible to give up that conflict between who we are when we are drinking, and who we are really meant to be. You will never, ever, ever regret quitting drinking. An AF life is the relief that you came here looking for.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Yes, what Pinecone said!
Welcome Lost....you are in great company here. Every one of us can identify with that story. Settle in among friends here. Hope you've found your way to the Tool Box (link in my signature line below). I go thru it myself every so often and am amazed at all the information there. Really, everything you'd ever need to know to quit and quit for good. It's a lot to take in, so we are here for the day to day support you'll need. We are so glad you found us. Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

JJ, so glad to see you, too! Please come back for your 6 month award!!! Well done, girl! B

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

just popping in for a very quick hello and :welcome: to all the new folks. this is the PLACE TO BE....just stay on, read and post your feelings. A least a handful of people on here have had very similar experiences so you are NOT alone!! That I know is true.

Now I need to dash off to pick son up from soccer....never used to do that. I was always half way in the bag by now!!!

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

A big fat warm good morning from downunder to everyone.

You're spot on Jennie. This IS the place to be alright. I am glad i'm here.

I have many positive observations about the nest, but the most striking for me are the support on hand/twig/wing here, and the INSPIRATION.

Sorry for your loss JJ. You are amazing at nearly 6 months.

Day 6.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Howdy G-Man! My day is (thankfully) almost over! YAY

Well crap. I just had a candy binge...BUT...I haven't smoked in 4 days.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1497067 wrote: Howdy G-Man! My day is (thankfully) almost over! YAY

Well crap. I just had a candy binge...BUT...I haven't smoked in 4 days.

Yo Niner!

4 days eh? Trific, terrific I say!