Newbies Nest

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

openheart!
You are so kind! Strangely enough, I feel like I need this moment of just being...emotional!
I think maybe I am struggling with a few things that are unseen, but have just noticed lately!
I went to a seminar last night about children and parenting...SO much responsibility and SO much going wrong in the world to make it hard for aour little ones! Alcohol is just one factor/one demon, and yet I can't seem to set a good example! What does that say?
I want to...I really do! I don't want to speak about diet or weight issues (I can do that!) and I don't want to lead them down the path of alcohol..(but why in blue hell am I..cause it' still there, that dark,demon of mine?)
Why? Dam it? I don't want that for my girls..ever ever EVER! I need to beat it now..before they know it..before it becomes part of their mental/emotional proceses and pathways! Daaam it!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Prpl]

Newbies Nest

ChickenNumber3;740072 wrote: openheart!
Alcohol is just one factor/one demon, and yet I can't seem to set a good example! What does that say?

That's been a huge factor in my choosing to change this thing around. I don't want the kids to see me drunk or hungover like all hell the next day. You can do it!

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

My sweet children are my main inspiration! They inspire me, frustrate me and love me unconditionally! How is that possible?

I want to be their best role-model! I want to be for them,what my dear Mum is for me! She raised five us of us; for '%$#$%^ sake!' Why is two Sooo frigging hard for me??????

Oops, sorry, Chook is still imlpoding! ('t'sall good though)!:h

[Prpl]

Newbies Nest

Just hang in there. I know you can do it.

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Thanks! Amazingly-- I know I can too! Tonight is something else..something about my Dad for some odd reason! I miss him now,five years on?Why, who can say..just he is in my mind now!
So I think maybe, (this might sound crazy to many) but tonight this is actually therapuetic...cause I don't think I've really said 'bye' yet! Too much else happening. too many other influences going on..

Prpl..thankyou!

[FindingMyself]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone,

Chicken - I think it's great to get tips on parenting, but did the seminar stress you out? Are you feeling under the pressure to be THE perfect parent? I was drinking in large part to cover up feelings of inadequacy - fear of failing - hating myself for "failing" (by my definition of what a winner is and what a loser is). I think I set the bar a bit too high and couldn?t achieve the things I thought I should so I was pretty often down on myself. I?ve still got a lot of underlying issues to deal with (unresolved grief being one of the things I am dealing with, too). It sounds like you?ve had a lot going on ? go easy on yourself. Let your natural instincts kick in with parenting, grieving, whatever it is you might be dealing with today. It seems like there is always something coming at us! You will get to where you want to be!

WitchyTrix - Way to go!!

Universal ? good to hear from you and congrats on 18 days!

OpenHeart ? yes, those little changes do add up and it?s nice that you are acknowledging them ? giving yourself recognition and encouragement. Like you said, sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves.

Hello to all the other birdies here, Prpl, Sunny, Lav, Tranq, T?sHope, Milly and all.

[ChickenNumber3]

Newbies Nest

Finding!

In some ways I think the seminar did...in other ways it made me feel good! guhh! Life is a conundrum?

BUt I guess it is mean to be!

And so...I aspire always to be the 'best example of a human I can possibly be..right here and right now...amen!"
Chook ( to bed and sleep/leave Al for tonight and tomrrow is another day....!)

[WitchyTrix]

Newbies Nest

ChickenNumber3;740037 wrote: I almost feel like ripping my chest open just to release it

EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!! Is that you in the profile pic with the sword!!!!! Probably best not to mention 'ripping things open' with that on your pic

Sorry you're having a blip chicken. Our brains can play nasty tricks on us sometimes can't they

Trix XXX

[lovemylife]

Newbies Nest

OMG- I totally forgot how many days my AF. 3? or 4? uughh...well, no matter how many days, today will be another AF for me...

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Goodness Chookie, we will postpone our flight down to see you! You need to pull yourself out of this FUNK before getting a beach party started
Why don't you revisit the CDs.......start with the Clearing CD again. It really helps to clear away a lot of the BS that clutters you mind. I listen to it from time to time when I feel the need for a tuneup
I am absolutely sure that you are a good Mom and a good role model for your kids, you need to believe it too. Don't be hard on yourself, give yourself a break. We both know that AL is not going to solve any of our problems, just makes us feel like crap the next day. Take care of YOU first so you can take care of your kids

Mermaid, glad you dropped in. Congrats on your 18 days, feels good, doesn't it? Keep going, you'll love the results

Openheart, I remember reading, when I first started that quitting drinking is a process - not an event! That statement made a lot of sense to me, kind of took the pressure off to be perfect instantly. I messed around for nearly a month before I decided to bite the bullet & quit!! It was tough, very tough but I've never regretted it for a minute. You will do it too when the time is right for you! BTW, I did get out & absorbed some sunshine today..........I need to keep my vitamin & mineral levels up so I can produce enough Lavan-ittude for everyone

Hello to Prpl & lovemylife - hope you are both well!

Finding, you sound good! I think we all need to remember to treat ourselves as well as we treat other people. How do we manage to lose ourselves in the course of daily life anyway??? No more beating ourselves up over our failures or perceived failures, right?

Well, I'm going to rest up, tomorrow afternoon will be here in a flash and my Energizer Bunny grandson will be returning!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest - the night light will be on.
Lav

[TranqWilly]

Newbies Nest

Hi All.

Wow - a busy day in the nest huh.

Lovemylife - good work on day 3 or 4 - counting isn't as important as not drinking anyway.

Mermaid, glad to hear you're doing well, and 18 days is superb!

It is really amazing to read all the thoughts from people here that I feel all the time. It is great to know I'm not alone...

Finding said: "feelings of inadequacy - fear of failing - hating myself for "failing""

I also think about unresolved grief at the heart of things for me. I hear you on the perfectionist thing as well.

Openheart said: "You just want to escape all of those feelings of unrest and be numb to them."

I've been trying to understand the need to escape from the fears and feelings and emotions - why are we afraid of what's inside of us? It doesn't make sense. Feelings are made-up inside of us - we react - nothing else makes those feelings happen inside of me but me. Yet I seem to insist that bad feelings are not supposed to happen to me, so I need to escape them. But like Lav says, I just end up feeling worse.

Openheart: "Why is it some of us do not give ourselves the same encouragement and "break" that we give to others?"

It is so true that we don't treat ourselves with the common courtesy that we give so easily to others. When I make a mistake, I tell myself I'm an idiot - but to someone else's mistake I say 'It's ok. We all make mistakes.'

"No more beating ourselves up over our failures or perceived failures, right?" This is Lavand-ittude at its best!

I'm trying to realize that where I am in life right now is just the starting point. "What Happened in the past" is not as important as "what are you going to do now?".

Chicken: "And so...I aspire always to be the 'best example of a human I can possibly be..right here and right now...amen!"

Honey, I think that's why we're all here. Amen!

Good night all. Take good care.
tw

[nuffsenuff]

Newbies Nest

tomorrow will be a better day

Hi all, been so encouraging to hear you spk about how long you been without Al. Most I done since being 17 is 2 weeks once (about 15 yrs ago), am 43 now, and never manage more than a day these days.
Gonna try sleep now, not had a drink, but don't feel too bad other than itchy & scratchy.
Sleep well, look forward to a more positive day tomorrow, not done a thing today, other than sit at comp.. which is fine, cos I found this site.
Have never spoke about it before, guess will open up more in time xx

[FindingMyself]

Newbies Nest

"I aspire always to be the 'best example of a human I can possibly be..right here and right now." Yes, Chicken, amen! That is all each of us can do and if we really look at today we're probably all doing quite well.

Lav, yep, we're here doing the best we can and that IS caring for ourselves. And like you wrote to Chickie we have to take care of ourselves in order to care for those we love :h.

Tranq, I thought about chopping the yardstick down a bit, but I think I'll just throw it out. Not sure why I always feel the need to measure my life against others - it really is pointless. I'm never going to be a brain surgeon...oh wait, I never wanted to be! Anyway, letting go of the mystical marker should give me a lot more time to work on things that ARE important.

Hi nuffsenuff! I remember the day before I joined this site I was here reading for 6! hours. I was hungover as heck and had one hand over the monitor whenever someone's post included a moving avatar, and the other hand over one eye so I could focus on the text. (TawnyWitch, I remember your avatar so well! Now I love it - that day, not so much :H. Lav, I didn't even know yours moved until I'd been here a couple of weeks! :H) Keep reading - there is a wealth of information here and the best and most supportive people!

lovemylife - 3 or 4, either way keep adding them up! :goodjob:

Check with you all tomorrow.

[ladyjan]

Newbies Nest

Buzzing day

Hi Nesties.. so happy really buzzing :cheering:

1st full 24 hrs AF.............just hope I can keep it up..... really happy, never thought I could do it without being locked up in de-tox..

Thanks guys, your posts and just knowing you were there to reachout to helped me do it.
:thanks:

hasta luego from the sunny island of Tenerife

:beach:

btw...wot's up withe live chat ?? try to get in but it crashes when I try to open it ???
ladyjan

[sunshine_gg]

Newbies Nest

Good evening fledgelings.

My goodness... a lot has been going on today. See what I mean, about what happens when I'm not around?

Chickieluv.... :l I very much get what you're saying on MANY levels. The trouble with perfectionism is that you set yourself up for nothing BUT failure. You will never be able to live up to YOUR own expectations. I did a little exercise once... I attached the time I thought a chore would/should take to my list of things to do. According to my modest estimations, my Sunday chores were going to take 22 hours. Never mind anything taking longer than expected. No wonder I constantly felt like a failure and loser because I couldn't get done what I set out to do. Sound familiar? Stop it and take a step back, sweetie. You are doing a marvelous thing for yourself, your girls, and your husband by striving to get WELL. It's OK to have this addiction and struggle at times - as long as you are seeking help and are willing to help yourself. And you are proving that every day. THAT makes you a better parent than most.

To all of you with single and double AF digits - kudos! I am proud of you and I am proud to be in your company every day. Carry on - and good night