Newbies Nest

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks birdie- still hanging strong.

NoSugar- it is scary that after such a long time it can still hit you.

My thoughts were -well I can have a few and it will be ok- I can go AL free so a few wont hurt. Oh it's a holiday, oh it is Christmas and the last one was just plain old stupid start!! i had a few at a birthday party y (2yr olds no less) n March and continued through to April as I turned 40. Though those 2 months were not all AL fuelled days some were binges of three four days. Iwas acutely aware it was becoming more- not a few glasses of wine but the sneaking hard stuff, the buying and replacing an empty bottle, the hiding bottles around the house- all the tell tale signs of a life I lived before. I just decided Monday- enough I need to get back on track. Feel,ok at the moment but I am only back on track for two days. The real tester will be when I am meeting friends for birthday celebrations (both mine and theirs), family reunions and weddings. All this coming month. My fall was definitely not being on MWO as much as I did when I first started and not reading Jason vale. He was reall important to me becoming AL free. I think I mentioned in some posts that I did dip into his book. And indeed, I dipped in and out of here. But really my mind was already thinking its ok a few wont matter. Be Warned how easily it can come back and slip you up- be warned and never let your guard down.

I would love to hear how some long time abstainers have tackled- either the temptation or getting back on the wagon, after long time abstainers like me- 17months!

The good thing from this is I know I can not moderate, I do not want to moderate, I want my AL free life back. I will not let it rule my life. I can abstain, I need to be on my guard more and be stronger. I do have a niggling though hat it got me this time and what if it happens again- :-(

Wow sorry rambling post. Off to read Jason Vale with some water and finish another day :-)

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Clarity calling, I wanted to say welcome to you. Settle in and we can tackle at least one of your problems!! You'd be surprised how much getting that ONE THING in check helps everything else. We're glad you're here!

Minstar...Speaking only for myself, I stay sober using the phrase in my signature line below. All I gotta do, it make it thru this day AF and I'm good. I can do that. I have adopted a policy of Zero Tolerance. Not one, not ever. So that keeps me straight. Starfish's byline reads, I'm one drink away from never being sober again. That's so true too. I don't want to start all over, my investment in this quit is too great. One sip or one drink at some yo-yo's party is NOT going to get me! For me, this is the way it has to be. I have seen people flirting with AL here for years, and it always bites them in the arse. It's not worth it. It took me a while to see that, but I finally 'got it'. If you give Dick Head one inch, he wants to be the ruler! So that's the way I operate. I emulate the people here who have what I want. You can't get a better role model than Lav (and Stella). I asked her early on if I could use wine in my cooking or sip this or that and she flat out told me 'NO!' I listened. And I'm glad I did. AF in my signature line means just that....not one drop since 1/20/11!! Besides my education, my quit is my proudest accomplishment. I plan on protecting it with all I've got. So far, so good.

Hope everyone is having a pleasant Tuesday! MindPeace, Byrdie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Snap - Thank you for your inspiring post! You hit the nail on the head...you can't quit for anyone else, you have to quit for YOU. Once you realize that it's what YOU want, you will fight for your life to get it. You're doing great...I am proud of you and look forward to many more of your long stories! :H

Hi Min - I had a BIG craving last night. I was having a really BAD day and Dick Head told me that a few beers wouldn't be "so bad". Well, I've listened to DickHead all I am going to. Listening to him got me 2 DUI's, jail time, fines, a breathalizer installed in my car and last but not least, a cellmate named Diablo. DickHead never did come through on his promises to me. He's a big fat liar. So I don't care HOW BAD my day is...alcohol will ALWAYS make it worse. Period. Remember the truth of alcohol and not the romantic version. You know what alcohol does to you and you don't like it....so don't give it the chance. Hang in there, stay focused and fast-forward from drink 1 to the morning after. A craving will never last as long as a hangover, or the reprocussions left in the wake of a binge. You CAN do this!

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Thanks and :hug: K9Lover and Byrdie- I think my relapses are doing the same on my signature- I m appalled looking at them!
K9Lover - good on you for staying strong. Always be so x

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1499068 wrote:

G-man, I noticed you just racked up 10 days!
:bust:
We are all busting with pride for your accomplishment!!

Yip! Thanks Byrdy. :blush:

This butt Velcro ain't quite my colour, but it's getting comfy, and geez it's strong.

Wishing everyone a safe, sober and magical day or evening.

Day 11, I see heaven. Yo!

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Clarity calling;1499131 wrote: Hello New here!
I have been coming to this site for about 1 month now and spent 14 days sober after Easter.
But I can't stay sober.... Yesterday I left my job as I was drunk AGAIN! I need to get back to meetings which I'm really not looking forward to, as there will be alll the told you so, knew you'd be back crowd

I basically got cocky and have been trying to CONTROL it for the last 4 or 5 years...

So here I am day one again! And without a job!

I'll be going to a meeting tonight :0)

:welcome:

Stick around and keep posting. Don't give a thought to what others think of you at the meeting. The only one who matters is you. Do what you can to make your life better and don't hold back because of what someone else might think. What does their opinion have to do with your life anyway? The hell with them.

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

Great posts Snap and Min.I was at a barbeque at my hippy neighbours on sunday ,every one was relaxed,ice buckets of beer all around but no cravings.great jam session going, sixties musician Donovan Leitch playing and singing with rolling stone Brian Jones grandson and a brazilian guitarist that played like Clapton.All was well with the world and out of nowhere I found my eyes slipping to the beer.I found myself glancing at it every few minutes and actually started to think aah one or two wont hurt. this lasted about 5 minutes before I got my sorry ass home.Just goes to show that even after over six months AF and being happy without a drink you can never afford to be complacent.Even when you think he is gone DICK HEAD is waiting for just the right moment for us to relax so he can whisper"go on one wont kill you".

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Patrick;1499300 wrote: I found myself glancing at it every few minutes and actually started to think aah one or two wont hurt. this lasted about 5 minutes before I got my sorry ass home.Just goes to show that even after over six months AF and being happy without a drink you can never afford to be complacent.Even when you think he is gone DICK HEAD is waiting for just the right moment for us to relax so he can whisper"go on one wont kill you".

There seems to be a lot of this going on at the moment! Good to read the success stories. Thanks, Patrick. :h NS

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

that is awesome patrick.....I hope you stayed long enough to get a good taste of what sounds like some awesome jamming!!! Talk about a trigger for me.....you did the perfect thing.
Dick Head kissed your ass!!!!!

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Patrick;1499300 wrote: Great posts Snap and Min.I was at a barbeque at my hippy neighbours on sunday ,every one was relaxed,ice buckets of beer all around but no cravings.great jam session going, sixties musician Donovan Leitch playing and singing with rolling stone Brian Jones grandson and a brazilian guitarist that played like Clapton.All was well with the world and out of nowhere I found my eyes slipping to the beer.I found myself glancing at it every few minutes and actually started to think aah one or two wont hurt. this lasted about 5 minutes before I got my sorry ass home.Just goes to show that even after over six months AF and being happy without a drink you can never afford to be complacent.Even when you think he is gone DICK HEAD is waiting for just the right moment for us to relax so he can whisper"go on one wont kill you".

I've got over 14 months now. Went out with some old friends a couple weekends ago and guess who showed up? Frigging Dick Head! Took me by surprise how strong and persuasive he was. I can't believe I actually spent about 5 minutes talking to him, then fortunately came to my senses and sent his ass packing. He's a sneaky old turd.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Yes, those thoughts come out of the blue sometimes....they take hold and the next thing you know you are actually THINKING ABOUT IT! It's scary. But, it's normal. It is a normal part of the process. Like final exams. DickHead is trying to tell you sweet nothings to get you to cave... He will tell you anything to get back in because he is dying. He wants to live by taking over our minds and bodies. Don't think you are backsliding or losing ground....this is keeping it real for us so we don't get complacent. Vigilance is key. Stay close to us here, there is safety in numbers. It's when we get out in the world that our minds wander. It only takes a moment or two to see where that will get us.....with just a quick check of the new posts you can see someone who is coming back from the edge of hell. Just keep on keeping on. You will never regret being sober, but I have 1000 regrets by being drunk. Try and get some rest....tomorrow will be a better day. Byrdie

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1499345 wrote: You will never regret being sober, but I have 1000 regrets by being drunk. Byrdie

And that statement explains everything......I don't even know if I could count all the regrets I have had when drunk, I NEVER EVER want to feel like that again.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

I have never ever regretted not drinking for a night. i have never ever attended an event sober and then the next day wished that I had drank alcohol.

[halo]

Newbies Nest

I like this, a never ever post, just want to add one more;

I never ever want to spend a day hungover in bed instead of being with my kids

K9, every time I feel like I may slip I look at your tab "I love my daughter more than alcohol" and I know, just know I can't go back to AL.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

FlyAway and Byrdie,

You probably think we never listen to you given how many times you have had to remind us what a wiley and persistent guy AL-the-DH is.

Just hearing that 'voice' that I thought I had banished was hard to take and set me off into major self-doubt. I've got to be more prepared with some tough talk to drive it away quickly next time (FlyAway, your 5 min conversation, like Patrick's, sounds about right to me!).

Coming on MWO and posting worked as advertised. Thank you for helping make that happen.

:h NS