Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

halo;1499369 wrote: I like this, a never ever post, just want to add one more;

I never ever want to spend a day hungover in bed instead of being with my kids

K9, every time I feel like I may slip I look at your tab "I love my daughter more than alcohol" and I know, just know I can't go back to AL.

I never ever want not to be there when someone I love needs me!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening all Nesters!

Welcome to the newest newbies - I'm not quite up to date with everything around here

I just read about a bunch of you fighting off drinking thoughts - wonderful!
Even granny Lav has the rare occasion where a thought or two just show up - after 4+ years AF BUT, it only takes a minute until I realize that my thinking (in general) has been a bit off lately. I've been extra busy with work stuff which is a good thing for the self-employed but that means I miss some quality meditation time, sleep, etc. We really need to rein our thoughts in when they start to go off track before we do anything stupid

OK, wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. G, what color butt velcto is good for you - I'll pick some up :H

Lav

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters......wow we have a lot of new folk.....welcome to you all.

I have been ill for the last couple of days, so laying low.

Today marks eight months sober and, after the first few weeks, it has flown by.

A couple of comments struck me and prompted some observations.

Firstly to remember when quitting that the battle against the desire to drink is a normal response to long term repeated use of alcohol. It is NOT because you are different, weak or permenantly damaged.

You have altered your body chemistry by running on the wrong fuel, the metabolic pathways have been disrupted and adapted to alcohol. You have turned your body into the equivalent of a food/alcohol hybrid vehicle.

This is why, when you stop drinking, you feel ill and tired. Even when you eat well you cannot digest the food properly so you must eat well and in quantity. Take extra vitamins and minerals ( see link below) rest a lot and, most importantly, be patient.

I have seen folk say they want to lose weight now they are sober but eating well is paramount. I put on 2 kg when I quit but since four months sober have lost 13 kg. I think the body needs time to repair metabolism, after all I drank heavily for TWENTY THREE YEARS.......what is amazing is HOW QUICKLY it repaired.

To those longer sober who have had those momentary thoughts remember these are just life. I occasionally have thoughts of destructive actions, today I fought back telling a client off as she was being annoying, I CHOSE not to.........because it would harm ME. For many this place represents where we were reborn, we should return here if things out there get rough and we doubt ourselves. A half hour reading will persuade most to stay sober.

I also have to maintain my new healthy attitudes, if I do not eat right, rest and exercise I feel bad. Low blood sugar STILL feels like 'have a drink' and probably always will........but now the thought makes me smile because I KNOW what it really is (and actually probably always was TBH as I never ate properly)

Lastly remember H A L T .........hungry, angry, lonely, tired. One or more of these will ALWAYS be the root of your desire to drink.

We are not broken, we just got bent out of shape. Time to forge a new future

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1499393 wrote:

I have been ill for the last couple of days, so laying low.

Today marks eight months sober and, after the first few weeks, it has flown by.

We are not broken, we just got bent out of shape. Time to forge a new future

Good to hear from you! I hope you are feeling much better and congratulations on 8 months of sane living! I like the imagery of bent, not broken - I can handle 'bent'. Things that are bent generally can be straightened out well enough.

:h NS

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1499396 wrote: Good to hear from you! I hope you are feeling much better and congratulations on 8 months of sane living! I like the imagery of bent, not broken - I can handle 'bent'. Things that are bent generally can be straightened out well enough.

:h NS

Also NS I never crave to be the person I was......cos that person drank. I am excited at who I WILL BECOME......she has never existed.

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

The scary thing for me Kuya was that HALT was'nt an issue.Plenty to eat ,good company ,relaxed and at ease ,in the middle of the afternoon.It was'nt even a craving for a cold beer ,I have cold beers about twice a month(AF of course)and its just the same as the real thing.I craved the AL buzz.Thats why I left immediately.I just got complacent I guess.Have to watch that from now on.

[Noor]

Newbies Nest

Day 3 today. Loved Snapdragon and Byrdies' posts. Flu like symptoms are quite full on - actually seem to HAVE a flu, as I have gone three days many times before without a drink, but this time full on hacking cough etc (not smoking either)....all signs it is time, as they say. Terrible night last night so will be throwing the paracetamol down today. Sun is shining thank goodness so a good long walk today. Have also enlisted the support of a friend who is checking in online with me every day, she has known me all my life and is very supportive of this decision so I feel pretty grateful there - there is an AA meeting near here but it is a bit of a trek and I don't have a car. I realise there are those who would pick me up etc but at this point I don't want to go...that may change but I went the AA route many, many years ago, and found it a bit all consuming and to be frank, depressing. I think it felt as if it took over my life. I don't want to give alcohol any more power than it has had. Having said that, if I don't make it on this effort, I will be straight there. But you know - I think I will.
Thanks for all the support and nice messages. Snapdragon I particularly related to yours.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone,
I am glad to hear that your kicked butt Patrick. It is so easy to become complacent isnt it! I wish I had thought more. BUT I WILL NOT DWELL ON IT! I had a rough night not being able to get off to sleep but managed a Sleep Hypnosis (iTunes-Sleep aid with Dr Siddharth Shah) recommend it. Didnt send me to sleep but managed to get me relaxed enough that by midnight I was asleep. Slept around 9hr and still tired. Shocking what drinking does and how long the body takes to recooperate.

I also went back and saw some posts i had written. My posts in March 2012 I mentioned my big holiday over Christmas going to Perth. Even then I had thought about a few. The clear thing I have learnt now is to NEVER drink. NOT AN OPTION - be it a HOLIDAY, BIRTHDAY or anything else.

Partrick & Kuya thanks for your post- and those others that mentioned even a few years/months down the line the DICKHEAD is still there.
I also read posts of my productivity and I am ashamed to say last week due to hangovers I had to turn several clients down! so ASHAMED
Noor- hope you get that walk in and have a restful day. I know my immune system gets run down with drinking so take care and be kind to yourself.

have a good day nesters- stay safe.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1499375 wrote:



G, what color butt velcto is good for you - I'll pick some up :H

Green and gold thanks Lav.

Keep up the awesome work Noor!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Patrick;1499439 wrote: The scary thing for me Kuya was that HALT was'nt an issue.Plenty to eat ,good company ,relaxed and at ease ,in the middle of the afternoon.It was'nt even a craving for a cold beer ,I have cold beers about twice a month(AF of course)and its just the same as the real thing.I craved the AL buzz.Thats why I left immediately.I just got complacent I guess.Have to watch that from now on.

Actually Patrick, I think I do know what you mean. I think it is wanting to cut loose, to get out of your head.......I also feel that sometimes but it comes with a price I am not gonna pay.

From what I remember that good buzz lasted about half to one hour, then I was trying to recapture it for the rest of the evening ......... 11 or so units of alcohol later I was still not there again.....just drunk and irritable.

If we could go back in time, when 3 drinks buzzed us for hours we wouldn't be here! But you know the saying Pat......if your aunt had balls she would be your uncle ! :H

I do get a similar buzz from good company and laughter and dancing. And I do get a buzz from not waking up scared and living scared and anxious.

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Minstar.....what is heartening is that you are back here, wanting to be sober again. For me it confirms my decision.

Whilst I know it must be hard for you ATM you have given me and others a great gift........which is, that it is not worth it. From your signature I see that you didn't go on a rampaging bender but drank enough to be back at a crossroads. Thank goodness that your long period of sobriety meant you were healed enough to want that sobriety back.

If or when I reach a point when I doubt my decision I will remember your story.

Thank you :h

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

patrick
I can totally relate to your un-HALT craving. It is a desire to just let everything go, to "escape"...... But here is the thing....I have been doing that, "escaping", for my entire adult life. Since I was 14 or 15 I would NEVER hang out on a beautiful day with friends and awesome music and NOT have a drink in my hand. So now, I don't drink but my brain is so ingrained with doing just that!! After decades of drinking in these situations it is no wonder that the AL brain is screaming at you to pick up. It is so completely awesome that you ignored the craving and walked away.....this will be a fantastic reference point the next time you are in such a situation and eventually, I would think, your brain will learn that AL is NOT needed to complete the perfect picture.
Old habits die hard, but old AL habits die HARDER

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters & Happy May day

The April showers are gone & the sun is looking pretty good!

Kuya, CONGRATS on your 8 AF months, :yay:
I hope you feel better very soon.

I have a full day ahead so I'll just wish everyone strength & a graet AF Wednesday!
Lav

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Kuya- congrats on 8m free!!!!!

it is a lesson we can all learn from. I wrote down the days in my signature to remind me. I don't remember all the days. I know I was away for three week in dec/jan and I certainly was not drinking the whole time. I think about a week between Xmas and new year.

Scary stuff as you can here your sane mind saying "look I can see your searching for more AL, looking for where the next glass will come from" and yet having had a glass your guard is down- This last point is the key for me. I can not moderate as after a glass I let my guard down and want another glass. I can not have a sip. Back to Byrdies pay yesterday where even in cooking it is not allowed. I did exactly that and then let my guard down.
Two key points for me which I believe will be beneficial to those here :-
1) I was already thinking of "how will I deal without AL in such and such scenarios" eg Feb 12 talkin to the nest about an upcoming friends 50th. How I would cope? Or March 12 about my holiday booked at CHRISTMAS. It obviously was daunting as I was 5/6 months into sobriety.
Already being sober for that long and my posts clearly indicate I was wondering if I could have a few. "After all"- says my dickhead devil- "you have stayed sober this long, you can have a couple and it will be ok- perhaps you can moderate"
What I have learnt & a personal note to self - never listen to any talk I moderation & do not think too far advance. I love Byrdies- 1 day at a time.
2) If you think one is ok- be aware you're guard is down and the next one will fall into your hand a lot quicker. Procrastinating about one- oh go on then two. And then patting myself on my back the next day. "See you can do it!" Said Dickhead "you can moderate" it happened in October 12. I went back to AL fee until Christmas where dickhead reared again. This time it was holidays with family and of course Xmas and NY. Again dickehad keeps telling me I can moderate and all this time his plan- she will fall sooner or later- moderate now but the fall will come.
And it did- for no particular celebration I decided I fancied a drink at this party- why? No reason! Just fancied it- an after all couldn't I moderate. I had shown I had. If I drank- an I clearly remember thinking this - if I drank once a couple of month that's only a handful of times in the year. The only problem was once I started I just thought well a) have another and then b) oh well carry on and actually couple of the sessions in April - for my 40th so if cours i can have a few! turned into- get as much down as you can. When my old ha it's came back- sneaks in around buying AL hiding bottles and last week missing clients for a hangover I knew I was on the road to hell again! I needed to get out and thankfully my strength was still in me somewhere.

I have learnt so many lessons for my lapses- I hope you don't mind me sharing them with you. Doing so reiterates to me and make me clearly think. Ill keep posting them as they come to me....

Off to read a snippet of Jason Vale and then my darling daughter calls!

Hugs to all.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters! Some really powerful posts here in the last little bit.

Minstar, your posts are golden-gilded treasures for all of us. Every single time I've taken a bashing on this site for being an AF hardliner I remember THE YEAR trying to moderate took from me. I do not apologize for being sober, and neither will you! I'm so glad you are here and sharing your story. It is our story, really....we've all tried to control it. I'd never heard of moderating until I came here....and then it seemed ok. I read over there and it seemed like no big deal! Until my drinking actually got worse. Somehow, it became even more obsessive/compulsive! Believe me, everyone here understands the power of this addiction. It has our attention and respect. We are so glad you are here with us. Next year we will be celebrating your one year AF! We have time, because we've just extended our life expectancy by about 15 years!

Kuya, 8 months. Wow. You have done amazing things in that amount of time. Thank you for all you do for us. You are a real North Star for us. If I were ever in a burning building, I'd wish for you to be with me, somehow you'd give me hope. Your strength and courage are unparalleled. Congratulations on 8 months...by golly, I think you've got it!! Keep it going...believe it or not, it gets better still!

Off to check Roll Call! Have a super sober hump day! Byrdie