Newbies Nest

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick one before meeting a client. Thanks Byrdie :hug:
If I can help even just one Person thinking of moderatin or havig a drink then it is worth it. Yes one year on I say. I'm going to stay put this time. Thanks again. Xxx

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

Really great posts today. Helping me realize the thoughts of "just one" are normal, but I need to resist.

Happy, Peaceful Wednesday to all.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys...minstar - good to see you...sounds like you are at the point of that final realization - and on the right track.

I've just read maybe two pages back?? And there are such wonderful things in the posts. Kuya, Byrdie - so many can put into words so clearly how this all works....minstar - your description of your backslide will hopefully help others from following in your footsteps. And Patrick, while you faced a struggle, you've learned - again, I'm sure - that there are always going to be moments that hit you out of the blue...as Lav said. (thanks, Lav - it always helps to know that I'm not a freak that I too have those moments of temptation!) In the beginning, I had to think through them....actually stop and imagine what the next few hours would be like....getting through the day with a buzz - pretending I didn't have one....then not sleeping that night, and feeling awful tomorrow morning, and most likely continuing to drink tomorrow because I already felt like shit....usually that was enough to get me to abandon the thought.

Now, it seems that simply - like kuya said - smiling - acknowledging it for what it really is - maybe HALT - and then pushing it out of my head. It's waaay easier to do now than it was in the beginning! and Patrick, sometimes it isn't HALT - I know that the freakin SMELL of something can make me think about drinking...or seeing someone in particular...or the change of seasons....it sucks, but the more you get through it, the more THAT becomes the norm.

I've been thinking lately about what alcohol actually did to my life. I'm not regretful - just thoughtful. Alcohol decided who I would be friends with, what events I would attend, maybe who I married?....It's crazy to look around and realize that lots of other people still live like that....And they don't want to hang out with ME because I don't drink. I clearly remember being terribly uncomfortable around someone who didn't drink....and declining invitations to events where there would be no alcohol. I used to love to entertain. I honestly don't know if I do anymore. I mean, it's ok - but for so long, it was only another excuse to get wasted....it takes awhile to see it in another light. We get excited for holidays, for family get togethers, for reunions, for hot sunny days, for cold snowy nights - and for me, it was always because of alcohol. Quite an adjustment this has been.....and certainly not always easy.



I can look back and think that it was because of how things escalated in the more recent years - that I couldn't go back to that life...but if I"m being honest, I so wish I hadn't even let alcohol become my "guide" in the first place....we might wish we could drink like "normal" people - but those "normal" people are even having their lives altered and choices made by alcohol.

I want my son to grow up making his own decisions....liking someone because he actually likes them....not because they have the same drinking habits....taking vacations because it's a beautiful destination - not because the plan includes drinks. Eating at places with wonderful food - not because of the extensive wine list...Going wherever he wants to go without the endless limitations of alcohol.

oh and Kuya - congratulations to you!!!!

[MagMom]

Newbies Nest

May 1, Day 1

This thread is so incredibly inspiring, and I feel really hopeful. I have gone back about 10 pages but want to start at the beginning and learn!

Peace

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Wow...everyone is kicking some serious AL ass! Way to go everyone. Every time I have one of those "thoughts", I just rack it up to how far I've come. I know it's just a thought and that's fine. Sometimes I think of having a cheeseburger and fries, but that doesn't mean I run out and get it! Our bodies are always going to crave what they think they are being "denied". Just remember, YOU are stronger than DICKHEAD and that pisses him off!

Kuya - Glad to see you back! I was missing you! Hope you feel better.

Lola - Good to see you too!

Well my boss just walked in. Not sure why she drives me nuts, she just does! Hopefully I am out of here soon and off to a new department. Everyone keep all your parts crossed for me (fingers, toes, legs, eyes etc)...I really want a new job!

[Patrick]

Newbies Nest

MagMom;1499616 wrote: May 1, Day 1

This thread is so incredibly inspiring, and I feel really hopeful. I have gone back about 10 pages but want to start at the beginning and learn!

Peace

Welcome :welcome:
And remember each and every one of us has been where you are now on day one.good luck with your quit.Read and post as often as you can, especially if you feel like caving.You will never wake up sober wishing you drank the night before

[MagMom]

Newbies Nest

Thank you for your welcome and the wise words!

May 1, Day 1

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1499600 wrote: Alcohol decided who I would be friends with,...And they don't want to hang out with ME because I don't drink.

..Going wherever he wants to go without the endless limitations of alcohol.

Hi, Lolab. It is great to hear from you again . I hope your eyes have shaped up and reading isn't difficult anymore.

You touched on so many things in your post that mean a lot to me right now. I think I am losing my "closest" friends and it is a very hard thing to face. I've realized that lonliness and isolation are the worst things for me. Lonliness led to drinking led to further isolation led to more drinking... literally ad nauseum!!! I sure don't want to go down that path again.

And I just love this phrase: endless limitations of alcohol.
That is just what it does - the possibilities without it are limitless!

Thanks for visiting the Nest!!

:h NS

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Fin, I got sidetracked on my way back to the nest from Roll Call!
Nesters, please join me in congratulating Fin for earning his 30 day HAT!!!

:day5:

This is really a huge milestone for us. The decision was made, a plan organized and Day 1 done. We are so proud of you! You bring such optimism and hope in your messages. Here's to a lifetime of sobriety!! If you have a few words as to how you did it, we'd love to hear them. Thank you for being here with us. Well done!! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

A guy I went to high school has a daughter....she wrote this poem about addiction. It is amazing that only someone who has walked it can understand its meaning. Thought the nest might enjoy this from a 20-something:

Within the dark walls of seasons past
I have worn the shroud my love for you has sewn
For too long did you beguile me
the comfort of your sweet whisper
forever floating through ears too eager
to taste the nectar of your lies once more
I wore your blindfolds proudly
unaware of the moons that passed me by
without a smile
I held you close to me each night
and never knew I was alone
My mother's tears drowned in the white walls
and the street corners I called home
My eyes never dare break their steady gaze
always towards the floor
But alas, my callassed feet could not carry me from myself
my tired eyes could not look past who I'd become
my shaking hands could not hold on
to the only life I've ever known
Still I hear your soft coo in my ear,
but my love, alas, our end is here.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Evening nesters! A quick one to say thanks to all for pointing and posting and commenting. Mam shattered and about to crash in bed. Sleep tight and stay safe nesters

Byrdie- amazing :-)

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

lolab;1499600 wrote:


I've been thinking lately about what alcohol actually did to my life. I'm not regretful - just thoughtful. Alcohol decided who I would be friends with, what events I would attend, maybe who I married?....It's crazy to look around and realize that lots of other people still live like that....And they don't want to hang out with ME because I don't drink. I clearly remember being terribly uncomfortable around someone who didn't drink....and declining invitations to events where there would be no alcohol. I used to love to entertain. I honestly don't know if I do anymore. I mean, it's ok - but for so long, it was only another excuse to get wasted....it takes awhile to see it in another light. We get excited for holidays, for family get togethers, for reunions, for hot sunny days, for cold snowy nights - and for me, it was always because of alcohol. Quite an adjustment this has been.....and certainly not always easy.

Hey Nester's.

Spot on Lola! This is true for me.

Brilliant piece from your friend Byrdy. Thanks for sharing it.

Good job on day 1 Mags!

Congratulations on 30 days Fin. Sensational work.

You're a bloody star KY. Hope you're feeling better today.

Big wave to everyone. Strap on the butt Velcro and let's go!

Day 12. Yo!

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

First day of NOT WORKING....woke up at the usual time for work but rolled over and went back to sleep....wow that was a great feeling......errands today and got my hair done so I am once again a beautiful redhead......
dottie

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Dottie Belle;1499755 wrote: First day of NOT WORKING....woke up at the usual time for work but rolled over and went back to sleep....wow that was a great feeling......errands today and got my hair done so I am once again a beautiful redhead......
dottie

Congratulations Dottie.

Enjoy. Your life awaits, with so much formerly buried treasure that is now all yours to discover!

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1499646 wrote: Fin, I got sidetracked on my way back to the nest from Roll Call!
Nesters, please join me in congratulating Fin for earning his 30 day HAT!!!

:day5:

This is really a huge milestone for us. The decision was made, a plan organized and Day 1 done. We are so proud of you! You bring such optimism and hope in your messages. Here's to a lifetime of sobriety!! If you have a few words as to how you did it, we'd love to hear them. Thank you for being here with us. Well done!! Byrdie

Byrd, you are so good to call out the chicks who are emerging from the nest and on their way toward solo flight on AF wings. Thank You!

I owe any success I've had with this last effort (my 4th attempt after a 2 weeks, a 28 day and then a 33 day effort since last fall) to you and other senior members in the nest. I also need to specifically acknowledge Cat, Kuya and K9 for reaching out when I had pretty much given up on ever being successful controlling AL.

These folks basically reminded me in various ways that I am a capable person in many other areas of my life and that going AF should be no different. There was also the frank question regarding how committed I really was to living an AF life. This last one really struck a deep nerve and rattled me back to my good senses.

I could then see myself in K9 and so respect her dedication to her daughter vs. AL...something I could readily identify with given my own fatherly responsibilities and my past disdain for ever choosing AL over time with them.

With this support and the realization that my three previous attempts to moderate would only lead to a future plagued by a quit again / drink again cycle, I finally "saw the light." I came to accept that I cannot moderate, nor do I have any excuse for continuing to drink. It's bad for business, so to speak. This horrible habit has nothing to do with how I want to envision myself, or how I want others to see me.

Now, here I am at 30 days again with much more wisdom under my belt for the danger signs that have brought me down in the past. For those of you that have crossed this threshold and beyond on your first try, well done! For those of you like me who have to learn the hard way, just keep at it. If you fail, get right back here and start again until you get it right. I'm here to tell you that IT CAN BE DONE!

I'm also here to tell you that I haven't been this happy, or proud of a personal accomplishment in a long-long time and it feels great. I'm finally living my life as I've always intended and I oh-so love being able to look at myself in the mirror each morning knowing that I am not living a lie anymore. Instead my head and eyes are clear, and I am full of energy and optimism for what challenges are ahead.

In that spirit, I Thank You ALL!
-Fin