Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hellooooooooooooooo, Nesters! (To be said in Mrs. Doubtfire Voice)

Great to see the new faces! aswmp (I hope I spelled that right!), Magmom, Noor...Cocoflo... by virtue of the fact that you are here is a plus in the right column! Everyone doing great and we are glad you're here! No doubt those first days are tough but that's why we are here....to get a little help from our friends. Just knowing that what you are feeling is a normal part of the process was comforting to me.

Dot Bell, we are all jealous of you now for getting that extra snooze. I hope you are racking up the AF days now that that hag boss is out of your life!

Hi ho...hi ho....it's off to work I go. Have a great day everybody! Byrdie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Thank You!

Hi guys / gals -

Just a quick note expressing my thanks for all your congratulatory remarks yesterday regarding my 30 day achievement. I sooooo appreciate them!

Be good and have a fabulous AF day,
-Fin

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

How MWO can stop you from making a big mistake!

Hi, Everyone in the Nest!

Now that I'm feeling really good again, I wanted to share with you how MWO seems to work, at least for me, when things seem bad and how I think it can work for everyone who lets it .

I was really tired from traveling and other stresses a couple days ago and very worried about 2 upcoming events this weekend at which I will need to be rather aggressively AF - I won't be able to just quietly 'not participate'. I also had had a very clear dream that I had failed and had a glass of wine. I felt like I had seen some sort of awful, inevitable future.

Mostly I was just tired of thinking about all of this that we are doing, planning how to handle things, reading and posting, thinking about being tough, turning down drinks, etc. etc. I started feeling like there was no way to do this forever so I might as well just drink and get it over with so I could quit worrying about it. I always feel better after decisions are made but boy-oh-boy, would this have been a bad one!!

That is the crazy thing-- I didn't really even want a drink -- I just wanted to be done with all that is involved in NOT DRINKING.

So, I came here and posted on a couple threads. I received back so much encouragement (and tough love ) to not blow in an instant what had taken weeks to accomplish. I knew in my heart you guys would be there --- and you were! Thank you! :h:h:h

I've rested up some, am close to being caught up with my work, and now everything doesn't seem so bleak -- in fact, on a beautiful day like today, everything seems great!
Even the events this weekend no longer appear to be the crises I thought they were -- they are just opportunities to assert myself and further cement (at least in my mind) how I am going to live the rest of my life.

All the best to all of you!!

:h NS

[MagMom]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1499873 wrote: Hi Magmom....I hope you are inspired to stay the course. Sometimes it can feel so hard and you may fear you are somehow different but, no matter how diverse the personalities and backgrounds one simple rule applies.........one day at a time.

Thank you for your kind words...it's so true! I went to a meeting last night and was surrounded by every walk of life.

[buddabelly]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone,

For some strange reason every time I clicked on this thread, and only this thread, to say hello, my comp said something about memory error come up. Is it my old wind up computer at fault ? I've no idea, I've only just found out how to start a thread. But only with help.

You peeps are lovely. I'm sooo ! glad I'm here. It doesn't matter if I can't find my way around. Some lovely soul will point me in the right direction.

I'm goin to nestle down here now. Tail feather shake and bottom perched. Aaagh !


Lea

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Me too

I like the Newbies Nest. I feel that there are people going through the same things I am at the same time I am.,Also I like the Cringe moments. Pretty funny stuff. If we can't laugh at ourselves,, all we end up doing is crying. (at least for me). I'm hoping to get to know some of you better. Friday is coming up and that is a tough day for me. I am use to coming home and tearing it up. Also, I clean for Miss L., tomorrow. A house full if Liquor.
send me strength. I am going to make it this weekend., With your help and God's help.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

hiya....again. nice to meet lea, magmom - guitarista, it's so very nice to see you in the nest. And congrats on your 12 days.

I'm am going to try to keep this from taking up the rest of my afternoon (as I tend to do) -

I always kinda fancied myself as a Kate Hudson type....fun, always up for a good time, ya know? So to be honest, I still struggle at times with that. I mean, who wouldn't want to be that person? I don't want to be a homebody, stick in the mud - you know, one of "those" that "doesn't drink"....and makes everyone uncomfortable if they're drinking around her. And for the past year and a half it has been a roller coaster of these feelings with me. How can I feel so very good physically, and about what I'm doing - but still be unable to completely let go of some stupid "image" that I had of myself?

I try every single day to resolve the gap in my mind that exists between these two people. I am not one or the other. I am both.

So - you can tell the change of seasons has pulled the rug out from under me - again. So I'm sighing - and saying - "yes, this will happen occasionally"....and putting my guard up, and visiting here, and all the things I know to do to help me "ride the wave". I'm nowhere near drinking - but the thought has popped in more often than it had for awhile. I'm sweeping it right out the door and I know that the nice weather is probably the biggest contributing factor right now. As soon as I get used to it, I'll be fine. :-)

So, the lesson to be learned is I guess - expect the ups and downs - so your'e not caught up in it when a wave hits you....

ok. I'm going back outside. :-)

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

oh and DEAR FIN - congratulations to you! I am just so very very proud of you and happy for you....:l

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Omg dickhead rearing his ugly head!!! Grhhhh bugger off!!!! Am so tempted after a lovely day with my daughter to get a drink in. She is nearly ready for bed and then I am gonna stuff my face:-)

Fin- congrats!!!!!!!!!


Update:
Big dinner- worked a treat in getting rid of dickhead. T anyone who is tempted start eating- now thinking of pudding :-)
Hope everyone is safe in the nest x

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Minstar......I remember that the hardest trigger for me was not the BAD times but the good. Anything and I mean ANYTHING that made me feel very good triggered 'let's celebrate'.

Strong emotions trigger endorphins, we have learnt biochemically that alcohol ALSO trigger endorphins......once stimulated the desire to keep those endorphins flowing is where the craving for alcohol comes from.

When drinking the hangover prevents endorphin release to normal things because we are poisoned. When the hangover passes our need for more endorphins creates the desire to drink.......it is a merry go round.

Endorphins are a drug, albeit a natural one, when they drop we start to feel low.

What I am finding is I am able to stimulate endorphins by more simple things throughout the day, nice weather, good food, sharing humour, exercise, music etc.

Now a good day is just EXTRA endorphins, not the ONLY endorphins.

Even though you stopped for so long the primitive part of your brain has no memory, it only knows ' endorphins are low, how can I raise them?'

This is why day 1 is the same no matter how long we are sober.

BUT you have the benefit of memory of how much better you used to feel and all your old posts here to remind you.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Kuya- your absolutely right.
I was so tempted. To boot hubby said he was going to be late for work..immediate thought..get drinking.

So now thinking about it, one minute I am happy and want. Celebratory drink, the next annoyed and wanting a commiserating drink. Every bloody excuse!! I know the first few days are the hardest but I also know it gets better and easier.... Just got to plough through.

Thankfully that big dinner a peace of chocolate worked. Then too tired and watching telly , dickhead buggered off.

I love your biology explanation :-)

Thank you !

[buddabelly]

Newbies Nest

I have had a bottle and a half of wine and feel like poo.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

buddabelly;1500371 wrote: I have had a bottle and a half of wine and feel like poo.

Hi, Buddabelly

Do you know what made you choose to start drinking? The best thing that can come of this is for you to identify that and avoid it in the future.

One trick is to come here and post your intentions before you do it -- someone might help you make a different choice or even just typing out what you are going to do might cause you to change your mind.

I'm sorry you feel awful right now. Please get all of the alcohol out of your house and start this again tomorrow.

All the best to you, NS :h

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Greetings Nester's!

Budda. Back on the horse. You don't need this to spiral out of control.

Lola, I identify with what you said re being 2 people. There is absolutely NO reason why I can't still be the life of the party (if I want to), and have a great time in a social/party/bar/drinking situation. These days i'll arrive late and leave early before the drinkers begin to slur their speech. It gets boring for me as a non drinker if I hang around in a bar for too long. I work in a bar as a musician, but at least i'm occupied half the time doing something I love. I always make sure I have my own transport home. Sorry, I may've gone a bit off track and waffling!

Take care all and think positive.

Day 13. What does this mean Byrdy?!

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

I am writing to follow up on No Sugar's comments about how MWO helped her get through a rough patch. I have been having lots of thoughts about post-30 days, what does that look like and how can I really live an AF life. One of my plans is that it is ok to think about having a glass of wine, probably even normal given the stage I am at, but before I come close to acting on the thought, I have to drink 3 glasses of seltzer water and read and post on MWO for one hour. Still working on other post-30 day plans and would love to hear any other suggestions.