Newbies Nest

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Brydie, for the note on the stages that finally lead to acceptance. Just need to keep working through thoughts of AL to get to a point where I am not counting days without, but rather living my life. Am motivated to push on.

[Noor]

Newbies Nest

Brilliant effort Keeve on 30 days! I hope I am there too in another 25! Great post and sooooo encouraging to read.

[Noor]

Newbies Nest

Btw ... Discovered my big trigger point: cooking. I LOVE to cook, usually with a kitchen full of people all chatting and having a lovely glass of wine. Took a lot of deep breaths and lemon water to get past that one last night.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Noor!
OMG, cooking in the kitchen was HUGE for me too. So to make those particular battles a little bit easier in the beginning, I ordered a lot of take out or food that was very simple and quick to prepare. The idea was to spend as little time cooking dinner as possible.....Every night I would begin the downward spiral by drinking wine while cooking the kids dinner.
Eventually, I was able to get back to cooking as usual....it is no longer a trigger for me!!

In all honesty, I feel that getting rid of triggers is a huge accomplishment but I have been fantasizing about drinking lately. I think it is this beautiful weather my part of the Earth is currently having.....It is not an immediate desire which is good but the fantasy is there nonetheless. So I just keep thinking it through. When that stupid fantasy hits me, I go through it in my head. I have a drink and that leads to another and so on and so on....and then I don't remember anything...then I pass out only to awaken in the middle of the night sweating and unable to sleep. Then morning comes and I am completely hungover, irritable and full of self loathing. Sounds like fun doesn't it? So much for THAT fantasy :H

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

:bump:

kuya;1392975 wrote: I am going to pull you on this for a moment. Right now, for an alcohol dependant , ONLY alcohol feels like alcohol.
Get your mind round this....... This is VERY important. Alcohol DOES NOT feel great, it just takes away the CRAVING for alcohol. Ethanol, a liquid suitable for running engines,not bodies, has been running your body. Many chemicals and enzymes in your body have changed to accommodate this abnormal fuel

After time your body adapts to running on the wrong fuel. You have literally succeeded in turning your body into a food/alcohol hybrid! When you stop putting alcohol in the tank, your body is confused, stutters and doesn't run well for a while. This is what we call withdrawal. The 'pleasure' of alcohol is because it attaches to GABA receptors.

At the moment NOTHING replaces alcohol. Glucose mimics it, sugar helps short term but accept that, for a while, your amazing body is having to convert back to running only on food ....... Like a normal mammal.

Try to patiently accept that all those bad feelings are actually good feelings. They are your body learning to use only the correct fuel. When you have a terrible day, the next day is always better cos you have made a biochemical leap in repair.

Eat good food,and plenty of it and try to rest. Allow your body to heal.

Was reading back a bit and stumbled across this old post by Kuya which has helped me today. Why would I ever want to put that crap in my body again? My body does not deserve that kind of abuse! Thanks Kuya!!

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters. Thanks for reposting kuya's post Jennieech. How true! Noor- cooking was also a trigger for me. I used to want a glass or two while cooking and then another whilst eating and one for the road when finished and watching tv, reading or whatever. Now it doesn't even factor. Those associations will go- well done for opting in water and lemon. I have sparkling water with cordial lemon, cucumber oranges etc. anything that is around. The sparking water makes it feel special.

Anyone up for being my weekend buddy. I need a UK time based person. Off to spend the weekend with Uni friends for a couple of birthdays. Including mine. Two nights of dinner and bars planned. I know I can go and do it as I've done it in the past. Just perhaps a person to be accountable to every hour so I don't buckle!

Hope everyone is safe and cosy x

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

MinStar;1500619 wrote: Hello nesters. Thanks for reposting kuya's post Jennieech. How true! Noor- cooking was also a trigger for me. I used to want a glass or two while cooking and then another whilst eating and one for the road when finished and watching tv, reading or whatever. Now it doesn't even factor. Those associations will go- well done for opting in water and lemon. I have sparkling water with cordial lemon, cucumber oranges etc. anything that is around. The sparking water makes it feel special.

Anyone up for being my weekend buddy. I need a UK time based person. Off to spend the weekend with Uni friends for a couple of birthdays. Including mine. Two nights of dinner and bars planned. I know I can go and do it as I've done it in the past. Just perhaps a person to be accountable to every hour so I don't buckle!

Hope everyone is safe and cosy x

Well done Keevan on 30 days!

[Cocoflo]

Newbies Nest

Love your post Kreeves! Congratulations on 30 days!

Noor, Jenniech & Minstar, I would cook dinner & drink lots of wine so That time of day is particularly for me.

Peaceful, AL free day to all

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all Nesters

Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful AF Friday. Plan ahead to get thru the weekend unharmed

Lav

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters - and apologies for my lack of posting this week. Busy times. I've had to attend two breakfast meetings in London (who the hell invented breakfast meetings? what sane person wants to catch a train at 6am and sit and talk sense over breakfast at 8am?!!! - I don't even like to talk at that time of the morning!! :H)

I also had to pick up some friends from Heathrow at 5am yesterday morning - they have come to stay for a month from Australia. I love them to bits but am filled with trepidation about coping with the AF thing. Last night we took them out for dinner - I drove, so no problem or questions as I was driving. We are having a canal boat holiday with them in 3 weeks and I'm worrying because they were talking about getting plenty of beer and wine in for whilst we're all chugging along on the boat. Not sure how to handle with this or what to think.

Congratulations on 30 days Kreeves - you have come so far. :goodjob:

Kuya - your post about how alcohol affects the body and the poison aspect is one to keep reading and digesting (did you put it in the toolbox? it should be there) It's enough to make me think twice each time I crave!

Noor, Jenni and Ministar - yes cooking is the trigger for many of us and my own greatest challenge. However, I have noticed that all of my cravings are actually 'associations' rather than 'craving' for alcohol. For example, yesterday as soon as I thought of our canal boat holiday I think of drinking wine, because in previous years we always stood on the deck with glass in hand. When cooking a meal, my treat was to stand and sip (or gulp) wine, whilst stirring the sauce. I have overcome the cooking one now with ginerbeer of all things. I keep a bottle chilled in the fridge and as soon as I start cooking I pour myself a big glass, gulp it down quickly and then pour a second which I sip slowly whilst I cook. Surprisingly, over just four weeks I now 'crave' my glass of gingerbeer. This has become my habit now and I hardly even thing about the wine - so I believe (for me anyway) it is all about habit and mind association. Therefore I plan to tackle my alcohol 'craving' for holidays, parties social events etc in a similar way.

Anyway - the sun is glorious here in the UK today (as it was yesterday) and I've decided to play hooky this afternoon and take my dogs for a long walk in the sunshine!! It is also May Bank Holiday here and we have the May Fair in our town which is a lovely, sociable event - with a dog show, donkey derby, cream teas and everything we Brits love!!

Looking forward to a healthy AF weekend.

[Wine-no!]

Newbies Nest

Hello! I have just spent some time reading through this thread and it's great to know we are all in the same boat.

I am on day three but have already felt quite a change in my life! I feel in control! I am sleeping better and getting more done. I haven't had any cravings. I know I can make May an AF one!

I had a thought today of people asking me years in the future why I don't drink and me saying 'when I was in my late 30s I was overdoing it and my sleep was suffering etc. so I stopped at age 41.' How bizarre to think of this... I guess I was just thinking I would have no shame in saying that at all. It would make sense to anyone and I don't think I'd be too judged for it. Maybe I'll even be able to say that in a week or two... It's not as if my friends and family haven't noticed I was overdoing it!

I will check in every day on my own diary thread and on this one and am looking forward to getting to know you all. X

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Good Friday morning!

I actually decided to not act on the idea of having a get together tonight with friends. It's gorgeous and summer like here - after a VERY long and cold winter - and I just don't want to be around others drinking.

Once I get used to the nice weather again - I'll be fine - but I'm just going to make sure old dickhead isn't trying to squeeze in here. People start up again after years of sobriety - I can't get complacent.

Have a super weekend. :-)

[buddabelly]

Newbies Nest

Good Thinking

Hi lolab

I was sober for 8 years. Totally happy and sane after many year of madness. I was never right before I started drinking but I worked very hard to sort my demons out during this period.

My marriage of 32 yrs broke down I picked and ten years later I am still trying to stop.

If you pick up again there are no garuntees of ever stopping.

I honestly thought it would be just a matter of putting it down again. How wrong I was.
Now I'm as screwed up as ever.

Wise of you. We are never ever home and dry with this disease.

Lea

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

Hi,the cooking thing is what got me hooked on my wine,as l use to say,now no more,so it miss a bit hard but I'm keeping doing what I'm doing,great job everyone,we can do this,happy Friday!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

buddabelly;1500698 wrote: Hi lolab

I was sober for 8 years. Totally happy and sane after many year of madness. I was never right before I started drinking but I worked very hard to sort my demons out during this period.
Wise of you. We are never ever home and dry with this disease.

Lea

Hi, Lea

I'm so glad you came RIGHT BACK after yesterday's mistake. You've done it before, many people here are doing it --- You CAN do it again!

xx NS :h