Newbies Nest

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrd i enjoyed the plant story....bugs are a problem....
Went to 2 plant sales today and bought a few more plants and my tomatoes come tomorrow from the boy scouts.....cant possibly eat it all but the food pantry will take what we cant use...yes this give me joy and something to occupy my mind and time....all good things....
dottie

[Wine-no!]

Newbies Nest

Morning all
Feeling good today! Day six. I hit the gym this morning (Zumba class at 8.30) for the first time since Christmas. The sun is shining and I am feeling happier than I have done for a long time.
Have a nice day x

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1501828 wrote:
The trick is really, really wanting to stop more than you want to continue to drink.
It's called commitment ~ you decide when & we'll be here cheering you on

Yes! I want to stop more than I want to continue!

Day 16 here!

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

I often read the posts in the Newbie's nest but don't post. Wanted to share my story of day 31. Starting on day 29, I started thinking about day 31. Actually, I was extremely tempted to drink on day 29 because THE VOICE was saying "you know this isn't forever so just have a glass of wine and get it over with."

When I successfully made it through day 29, I started thinking about day 31. I would have finished 30 consecutive AF days/nights and could now start to think about "moderating." Of course in this hotel, the bottle of wine is a better value than a glass so I was already thinking about the bottle of wine I would buy, how I would drink it by the pool, unwind, and pick up again being AF on day 32.

So yesterday was day 31, and THE VOICE was calling out to me. But, I knew this will be an ongoing battle and I was not giving in today. Ate, read MWO posts, went to the gym and the pool, allowed myself chocolate ice cream, called friends back in the USA, ordered room service and watched B-grade movies. Any reward I could think of EXCEPT AL.

Woke up this morning ready to battle THE VOICE another day.

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Free - this is so inspirational. Thanks for posting. As I was reading I pictured myself near you yesterday, cheering you on as you made one smart decision after another. You know you always have us MWO folk as cheerleaders. Good for you!

I don't think a lot of non-travelers realize just how much lonely down-time there is when you travel for business. And just how much booze is available, either. I know how tough it is and just want to say a big congrats - you will be my role model if and when I ever get to travel for work again (hopefully soon - I'm going nucking futs being home-based).

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, Siren. The life of a road warrior is not all that glamorous--hotels, cab-rides, meetings, and too much readily available alcohol and food. Am on another two planes today and more meetings and events. But, when I get through this week, I have a two week driving holiday with my DH. Since AL was becoming an issue between us, my new goal is enjoying time with him completely AF.

Glad to hear about your successful outing with your husband.

[struggles]

Newbies Nest

Good morning! It's Monday here and my day one of complete AF free. I tried several times, but failed miserably. I have been moderating and yesterday dumped the rest of the beer I had in the house. My last drink was at 5pm last evening so that was a little over 12 hours ago. I did have xanax to help me sleep and I actually slept well last night. I'm a little shaky today and have a slight headache, but nothing like it was when I just stopped. I have my decaf coffee and already took the all one powder. I read most of the day yesterday on here and made my comittment to completely stop. I also need to make an appointment with my addiction doctor and come clean with her about my drinking again.

Reading here really does help. I realize that I am not the only one who sneaks drinks and hides the empties and finds any excuse to justify having just one. I know that one is not going to work for me. I also have to mow the lawn today, go into the office and my kids have a baseball game that I'm sure I will be able to attend. I know the first few days are rough, but not as rough as my last two or three hangovers in which I began drinking upon rising and not stopping until bed, just so I wouldn't feel so awful. That just locks me into my home and unable to drive anywhere.

Wish me luck.

[jenniech]

Newbies Nest

i agree with Siren: business travel is NOT all its cracked up to be and it is VERY lonely. You are inspirational!! Doing all the right things.....and yes PLEASE eat as much chocolate ice cream as you want....you deserve it!!

I have been having frozen yogurt or ice cream with my camomile tea every night as my "reward". I know this is bad. I know it will not help me lose the weight I so much want to lose. HOWEVER, that bit of dessert at night is no comparison to the number of calories I used to consume every single day with wine. And I figure once I have some really good sober time under my belt, I can tackle the dessert addiction and the smoking addiction!!! I am not a heavy smoker...only 2 or 3 a day but oh, how I crave them!! I guess you could say I am an addiction junky. Just more "isms" to overcome but the hardest "ism" is being tackled NOW.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters!

I have a full day ahead, just wanted to wish everyone a great AF Monday.
Meeting your goals, each & every day & living in freedom are the best rewards

Lav

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

I have been unwell this past week but feeling better today.

It is amazing how your health improves once you are sober. This is only the second illness I have had in eight months....when I drank I was always ill. And these two illnesses were mild, just a sniffle and feeling tired.

I am so grateful for all this.

Rooni have you thought about what happens in your life and /or head just before you drink? You need to find the trigger and you need to learn to seek help/come here and scream FIRE ! Before you give in. It is said the relapse happens well before the drink......we plan to drink just as hard as we plan not to IMO.

Do you post often enough to retrain your thinking I wonder?

This constant reading and posting works wonders. If you disappear the minute you have a sober patch it is like attempting a triple axel an hour after you wobble onto the ice rink.......you are bound to fall.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
I have GOT to figure out how to do that multiple quote thing...I will go from memory once again...
LittleB...my husband also drinks nightly. I really thought this was going to be a deal breaker for me. Others assured me that I could still do it, so I blindly followed and by golly, they were right. It's like in the plane when they say, 'secure your oxygen mask first and then assist others'. Worry about yourself first, I have to remember this is MY problem and I'm going to have to live in a world where this is everywhere. So I consider the space around me my little bubble. I control what is in my space. I cannot control what anyone else does. Just letting THAT go helped a lot. I've seen people here get sober among a houseful of addicts of various kinds. You just have to have laser guided vision and stop worrying what other people are doing. There is no perfect scenario in which to get sober....I've thought people who lived alone might have an edge but then they say they don't have support...I thought folks who lived with nondrinkers would have an easier time, but then they say those people don't 'get it'. So each of us has our own set of challenges but the bottom line is that we are responsible for ourselves and our quit. The rest is just noise. Once you get yourself in order, you can tackle some of the other issues....I have found that being sober takes care of a LOT of the other issues I thought I had. Being sober cures a lot of ills. (ironically...I thought drinking fixed everything). Leading by example is the best thing I can suggest.

Traveling! Ugg. At one of my first company conventions I get to my room and there sits 2 half bottles (small bottle, but not mini bottles) of wine. One red, one white. I think I was about 3 months sober at this point. I sat on the bed and just had to laugh (sarcastically). God? Is this your idea of funny? Good one.....yep. Just like in that movie, "Flight". There I was. I sat there a minute and thought no one would ever know. I never was a red drinker, but in this case I'd make an exception!! The more I thought about it and played it to the end, here's what finally shook me to reality....THIS is the frigging thing that got me: It wasn't going to be enough to do the job! My mind had already played it out and was spinning how to get more. I got up...put the dry cleaning bag over the 2 bottles and sat them behind the ice bucket. They looked stupid with that dunce bag over them. Just as I would have looked stupid drinking them to oblivion. Byrdie 1...DickHead 0. Traveling is a challenge. It is lonely and there's a sense of entitlement. Everyone else is at home with their families and I'm stuck in this stupid room eating Chinese takeout. It's a challenge....but it can be done! No one will ever force you to drink...it's a choice we make. Taking that power helped me. Peer pressure is just uncomfortable....being an ALK and drinking is out to kill me. That's a choice I can make. I have made MANY excuses for being drunk...but seldom have I had to make any for being sober! Once you get some good sober time in...you will see how petty the whole drinking scene is. It's a big lie! It's like watching those B grade movies where you know the people are going to do stupid things! Being sober is the BEST!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday! I hear the work emails piling up so off to look at those. I can't get my day started until I check in here tho. Yes, it's that important. When this site was kapoot those few days...our very own Patrick FOUND a way to check in. I PM'd him and said, 'how did you figure out how to make it work?' He simply said, " Gotta check in, Byrdie". Happy Monday, everyone! Byrdie

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Hi Byrdie,

thanks for sharing this story. I completely share your thought process. I still catch myself thinking about having that one drink that no one would ever know about. Then the rest of the evening plays out in my head like a long movie and I picture the following morning. The loss of accomplishment, the regret and so on. This completely puts me off the idea and I move on to better things.

I remember when I was a few weeks into sobriety I was given a pretty bottle of foreign red wine. Everyone here suggested that I should get rid of it. However, it still stands in plain view as my trophy reminding me of how far I have come. And if anything it helps me put things into prospective.

AK

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kuya,

I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. It is amazing how much your health improves.

I am confused sometimes though. When I was drinking I used to go out 2-3 nights a week, staying up late and function pretty well with a hangover. Nowdays, when I go out I usually cut my evening short, while my friends keep going well into the early hours of the next days. And I cannot stop and wander, how did I ever have the energy to do this every week just short 8 months ago.

AK

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Taking my car to the shop...think I need breaks...bleh
Then to my dads to do a little more cleaning and pitching. Gotta get it rented soon. So much work to do there....my new job...no I am not going to let it consume me..it will get done and I need to pace myself.......
Been struggling with total abstinence but feel it is time to re-commit...I can do this.....
Back later.
Dottie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Happy Monday everyone! (Is it? I am trying to convince myself. lol)

Yesterday at church I met a lady that just left a 30 day rehab. She's about 53 years old and looks in BAD shape, but according to my very good friend, she's 1000% better than she was 30 days ago. I am going to team up with my friend to offer her support. My friend knows I was on the same path as this lady, so I might be able to offer some first-hand experiences. I know she has a long road ahead of her, but she's literally in a life-or-death situation. I hope she can do this. Seeing her was a reminder of "what could have been" for me....

Allan - I don't know how I used to function either. Having a hangover was just normal for me. I didn't realize how BAD I felt until I actually got well. Saturday night my daughter and I were both in bed at 8:45pm. Yes, I know...party animals. LOL