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    Newbies Nest

    Patrick;1504110 wrote: Hi Tess
    To be fair I was only responding to what(to me) seemed to be a sweeping generalization and as this was not the case I humbly apologize if I caused you any offence .i also think you should consider outing the cowards for the slimeballs that they are.It would be a shame if people like that got away with that sort of behavior and pushed newcomers out.I have always found you a helpful and inspiring poster and it would be a great pity if the slimeballs drove you away.
    Good Morning All,

    Patrick - I just sat down to say hello to the folks in Newbies Nest and found your apology, which is very thoughtful and generous. Thank you!! Really, no apology is needed. Communication can be challenging. I have read that the most significant "clues" as to what someone is trying to say is in their tone of voice and body language. Obviously, those clues are missing with online communication. What you heard when you saw the word "hover" is not what I meant.

    Speaking of "tone of voice and body language," I host a weekly get-together for a small group of women who have quit drinking alcohol or are sincerely trying to quit. It started a couple of months ago when a neighbor asked how I had lost so much weight so quickly. I explained that I had stopped drinking alcohol at the beginning of the year and, at the same time, had started practicing yoga nearly every day. She confided that she was trying to quit drinking too. We visited a couple of times in my home. Then she asked if a friend could join us. From there we have grown to a group of five.

    I developed a few basic guidelines: We are honest, transparent, and respectful of each individual within the group. We do not gather together to judge one another. We start and stop on time (so that people are not coming and going when someone is talking). We each talk about whatever we want, without being interrupted. We each then talk again, which gives the opportunity to offer support or advice or to ask for clarification. We laugh and cry and admit that at times we just want to pound our heads against a wall. To stop drinking alcohol is no small feat. At the end of our get-together we decide if we want to meet again. So far we do! We then find a time in our busy schedules that works for all in the group. People are making amazing progress.

    This get-together is not a substitute for all of the other help that is available to people who are getting sober. Two group members attend daily AA meetings. One member receives support online. Another meets weekly with a counselor. I practice yoga, meditation, and attempt to live a healthy lifestyle. I would like to be part of Newbies Nest. I just need to improve my writing skills so that I am clearly "saying" what I really intend to say.

    Many thanks to all of you who have welcomed me back. Hugs all around!!

    I sincerely hope that this is a delightful alcohol free weekend for All in The Nest. Weekends can be rough. Please know that you are supported and loved. :hug:
    Tess in The Nest ~ Sober since January 1, 2013

    The man pulling radishes
    pointed the way
    with a radish. ISSA

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      Newbies Nest

      Morning Nesters,

      I really can enjoy reading the posts here now that i am not ashamed bc i have been drinking. Enjoying a great AF weekend here in the south. The sun is trying to shine, and i hope it does my vit D is really low....

      Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who posts here it was and is great encouragement on this journey.

      Glad to say my husband and i are starting fresh with our marriage as well as my AF life. Life is good and God is great. Have a very happy AF weekend.
      Making the quit stick! since 02/27/2016:victorious:

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        Newbies Nest

        Evenin nesters! Just a quick one to thank birdie- I'm staying strong. I hope all are safe. Just had a quick look through posts but not all. Settling down to watch a movie with Hubby and a AF day under the belt phew!

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          Newbies Nest

          Tess-2;1504284 wrote: Good Morning All,
          I would like to be part of Newbies Nest. I just need to improve my writing skills so that I am clearly "saying" what I really intend to say.
          Hello, Tess. I started lurking on MWO, and particularly the NN in January. I finally decided to go for it and joined late in the month. You were posting frequently then and were one of the people I followed (stalked :H ??). You were so open about what you were going through, it helped me believe that I could do it, too.

          When you "disappeared" in mid-February, I was about 3 weeks into this journey and I'll tell you, it really shook me up !! Things seemed to be going well for you (and it turns out they were ) but I couldn't imagine what could have happened to you. By that point I had realized that staying active on MWO was going to be critical if I was to have any chance of succeeding. So... your leaving made me concerned that you had returned to drinking. This might sound odd since you probably haven't read many, if any, of my posts and don't 'know' me, but I've thought of you often as my days have increased, been concerned about you, and now am just thrilled to learn that you have > 130 days AF!!!

          I think people who have enough AF days to speak with some credibility but who can still feel what the early days are like, can make important contributions to the NN and I sure hope you are here to stay.

          I think all of us have been misinterpreted at one point or another - I'm sorry that whoever misunderstood you handled it in a manner that drove you away. Please don't let a few people speak for the group. I think most of us also have probably posted some things we later regretted not having phrased differently or not said at all.

          For the most part, I think the members of MWO are very nonjudgmental and forgiving -- I know that for me, this experience has made me a much more tolerant person. While I'm not glad that I became addicted to, and now have to work hard to be free from, alcohol, I think that such a humbling experience has made me a better person in many ways.

          Anyway, :welcome: BACK!

          :h NS

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            Newbies Nest

            Hello new friends -- I posted for the first time the day I joined about a week ago and in that time have gotten absolutely nowhere. I had ordered the CDs and were using them, gotten the kudzu and L-glutamine and were taking them, but I still ended up drinking. I figured out what my most powerful triggers are -- coming home to an unfinished house that's cluttered to the gills and so much to do and nowhere near enough time to do it (I work 2 jobs). I did start journaling and knew as if I were standing back watching myself what the reasons were and it was like seeing someone else making the awful choice, ignoring the inevitable suffering that was sure to follow. I called out sick from my 2nd job today and it has happened often enough to where I could be in danger of losing the job (they have a strict attendance policy) which would mean I'd have to go get another part-time supplemental something. I finally broke down today and ordered the topamax online and I'm praying I can hold it together 'til it comes.

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              Newbies Nest

              BigRich, welcome to the nest! Is this your first quit or have you had some AF time before? Be sure to spend some time reading the Tool Box, link is in my signature line below....there are tons of helpful tips and coping skills there to help you.
              Getting that DAY 1 behind you is the biggest step there is...if you break that down it's only about 4 hours....so reading thoroughly thru the Tool Box would probably be a good task! Or pick a room and tackle that....distraction will be your biggest friend tonight! I didn't use any of the supplements so I can't speak to that...but if a 25 year hard core drinker can get sober, I know you can, too! Welcome aboard!!!! Settle in and tell us about yourself! Byrdie
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
              Tool Box
              Newbie's Nest

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                Newbies Nest

                Thanks so much for that!

                No, this isn't the first time I've tried to quit. The very first time was two years ago when I decided to get into really good shape. I started "eating clean" as a means to get my weight from "average" down to "tiny and toned" and in the process, cut out alcohol to trim calories. I did it for three or four months and looked & felt fabulous. Then I found myself in the place of having to get the 2nd job and everything sort of fell apart. Maybe it was just a matter of feeling bad for myself, but between not getting enough sleep and having little time for exercise, I gradually put 20 lbs back on and I look and feel like crap. :no:

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                  Newbies Nest

                  oh, and a more recent time...

                  ...was this past January. I got inspired by Kriss Carr's book, Crazy Sexy Diet and went out and bought myself a nice veggie juicer, started having fresh juice every day in addition to eating clean, and just before the three week mark (day 19 or 20, I think) just threw it all away and got totally skunked with about 2 litres of wine. what the hell is wrong with me?!:upset:

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                    Newbies Nest

                    BRL, there is nothing wrong with you! That is the POWER of addiction. We see black when it's clearly white....we do what we know is wrong and it's just out of control. But I'll tell you, this thing we have is curable. And it's a fairly simple cure, too. Yep, we have to break the cycle of addiction. It only takes a day or two to start feeling GREAT and in control again. Once you get underway, you will be amazed at how quickly the changes take place. Coming here brought you a long way down the path, too. This time when you get to those 20 days...we'll be there to cheer you on to 30 days...that's when you get a HAT! We have a little ceremony and everything (we play for pride, not prize, it's an honorary hat). The Tool Box is full of folks' 30 day 'Story's' and how different their lives are in that little span of time.
                    We have a bunch of juicers right here in the nest!!! Seems like a couple months ago, they all tried to get ME to do it! Ehehehe.... you are in great company here in every way. Read back, post, cry, scream, do anything you want....except pick up that drink. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day. You can do this! We can help! Byrdie
                    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                    Tool Box
                    Newbie's Nest

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                      Newbies Nest

                      BRL......as Byrdie says .....this is the power of addiction. After a twenty three year battle sobriety was achieved by the simple acceptance that I am an alcoholic and CANNOT drink.

                      Sounds hard but is actually very easy. All those years I was attempting the equivalent of trying to stop the sun rising by the power of my willpower........and failing ( surprise, surprise :H).

                      I am an extremely strong willed person, but I am not superwoman. Addiction CANNOT be controlled, the only way to win is to walk away.

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                        Newbies Nest

                        jenniech;1504260 wrote: just got back from the gym. During the intense work out class, I finished my bottle of water so went to fill it back up. A woman was standing there panting and looking miserable. She said "i should have just stuck to one glass of wine last night instead of two". I was so tempted to say "oh, i gave all that up....there is much more to life and I was tired of feeling like crap during my workouts".....that is what I thought, but not what i said.
                        It was still a little awkward though. I mean, I can't say, "oh, I agree!!" I just sort of smiled and said "Uh Huh"
                        Jenn,working out with NO hangover is so good compared with a thumping damn headache! Booze,just not worth :goodjob:it!!!

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Toolbox

                          Thanks, Byrdie - You've probably been told lots of times before that you're a lifesaver, so I'll add my voice to the volume. I did go and look at some of the things in the Toolbox and will no doubt return and explore some more; but it was your message that got me thru a mini-crisis just within the past half hour. When I wrote that last post, I was sitting here sipping the last glass of a bottle of wine I had all but wiped out last night; and when I went to the kitchen, had a strong urge to pick up my keys and go get a new bottle. I am pleased to announce that I am now sitting here with a glass of water into which I have squeezed the juice of half a lemon and added a couple of drops of stevia herb sweetener. Thank you SO much! I'm beginning to see the wisdom of leaning on the support of a community -- and for a loner like me, that's huge. I'm always the one who supports and encourages others, and it's been so very lonely not being able to talk to anyone about this. The only person who saw it in action and told me I worried him was a man I was seeing for some time, and of course shortly after that I made sure I drove him away. Many, many thanks. You'll be seeing a lot of me from here on in.:thanks:

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Goodmorning Everyone. Its a beautiful day in oz. Byrdie,Thank you so much for your inspirational posts. They are just so helpful for all us newbies at various stages of our recovery!!! This is the first weekend I have been sober in many,many years. AB is helping so much and the Newbies Nest is a great place to hop into when the cravings grab me! Good Luck everyone! Lets finished this weekend AF. Its Sunday here 9.00am:l:l:l

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                              Newbies Nest

                              hadit;1504359 wrote: Goodmorning Everyone. Its a beautiful day in oz. Byrdie,Thank you so much for your inspirational posts. They are just so helpful for all us newbies at various stages of our recovery!!! This is the first weekend I have been sober in many,many years. AB is helping so much and the Newbies Nest is a great place to hop into when the cravings grab me! Good Luck everyone! Lets finished this weekend AF. Its Sunday here 9.00am:l:l:l
                              Hi Hadit - so happy for you that AB has helped you.
                              I too kick started my AF time with it:goodjob:
                              Where in Oz are you -? was there with my son over last Christmas /New Year

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Goodaye Saltz, We are about 100kms from Melbourne. Its our Autumn now. Beautiful time of the year but not looking fwd to the winter ahead. Might have to spend a bit of time in Bali ha ha!! Its not far for us and cheap.Loved Ireland had a couple of weeks there about 15 yr ago. How long did you take AB and its worked?

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