Newbies Nest

[brandivino]

Newbies Nest

Day 17 - 'High Sobriety'

Hi fellow Nesters,

Pleased to be able to log in here and know i'm not the only one with Ethanol issues! For various reasons, have hidden my problem from all family but my brother. He's closest in age to me, and we've always been close. Missing him at the moment as he's overseas for a few months, but know how pleased he'll be to hear i'm hanging on to the wagon.

Just started reading a book called "High Sobriety" by Jill Stark. Once i've finished it will share my thoughts.

It's still a novelty to be clear headed and be in control of my fine motor skills at this end of the day!

Sleep tight,
Brandi

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone!

CONGRATS Moni on your 6 AF months - terrific
So glad you are on the path to health & wellness.

Hadit, great on your 7 AF days! Stay true to your goals & keep going!

Samstone, yes I do have chickens - that's 'Stella' in my photo :H
I keep 25-30, sell big brown eggs & wonder sometimes why I'm so crazy but they are very entertaining

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!
Big thunder storms rolling in later today ~ swell.

Lav

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Moni
wow! that's great! That sounds like a hard and long road and light at the other end of the tunnel.

SS

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Mornin Ya'll,
Just checking in for a minute.

Moni well done on 6 months. I did 6 months while in rehab only to fall off the wagon, looking forward to 6 months again.

Hadit - 7 days is awesome! that is everyday of the week you made it without a drink. Keep on staying strong and before you know it, it will be 2 weeks.

Lav - my brother, also my neighbor, has chickens and yes they are very entertaining. They frequently get into cars if the window is left down, and occasionally will leave you a suprise, they will lay an egg. LOL

Wishing everyone strength, and well being against this disease called alcoholism. Stay close to the nest where there is strength in numbers.

It is hard to fight a battle alone, but with an army we are undefeatable. Togeather drawing strength from each other we will defeat this demon called alcohol.

Have a great and sober Hump Day.
Lots of love and well wishes!
JDG

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters!
Lav....you and that weather! What's next, Locusts?? (waitaminute, I think it iS the year for those!). I hope you catch a break soon, Stella is going to go stir crazy! Nothing worse than a mad chicken!

Moni, 6 months is just huge....
:day5::day5::day5::day5::day5::day5:
Where I come from, that's 6 hats. Congratulations on getting a handle on the Beast. It's just unimaginable how different and BETTER life is without that stranglehold. Well done!

NoSugar, great to hear that OneRedShoe is reunited with her dog and remains AF (her, not the dog). I can't wait to hear the details.

SS, we have another string player here, Fin is a Master Mandolin-er. You and he should whip us out a tune r two!!! He says that being AF has improved his playing! I know it has improved my thinking in general so it stands to reason that your ability to do other motor skills would get a boost! I used to think that a drink HELPED me think....WRONG. I wouldn't want a surgeon to think that if I were going to have an operation!!! Yikes! He might get the 'what the hells' (like I did) and remove something I need!

Mein, those company trips are a real test....I found them to be THE biggest challenge, second only to the death of my dad in January.

JDG, gosh, you sound like you've got your head around this! That kind of thinking is exactly what it takes. Just build on your investment and it will pay off in spades!

Great job everyone, off to see the Roll Call! Happy Hump Day! Byrdie

[sodagirl]

Newbies Nest

Hello all. It's 10:45am here and the weather is going crazy. I had a few hard moments, well, to be honest, QUITE A FEW, yesterday. I still am getting sweats, but not as bad as it was. I actually went to the store and picked up a six pack of beer and took it to the counter. The lady who is ALWAYS there from early morning to late night and knows me for my beer purchases, asked me.."just one?" hahahah, you are going to put us out of business." I walked back to the cooler and grabbed a V8 and told her in a not so nice tone....here, this will make up for your fucking business since it's almost as much as the beer. Reshelve the beer yourself. I left in a very pissy mood. Now I'm so embarrassed, I don't dare go back. It's one thing for someone to have a problem with drinking and you know it, but when you work in a public place, it's not your business to make fun or a joke...it's not fucking funny! The whole way home I was picking on how her hair is so stupid and she's ugly and she's a loud mouth and she's nosy and her kids are stupid and not as good as mine and anything to make me feel better because she made fun of me. But, I drank my V8 and cried and cried and cried because I felt like such a horrible person for thinking those thoughts of someone else....how dare I judge anyone? Still hanging in there and reading all the posts. I used some of the tools and one said to write down all the things that were bad when drinking and be EXPLICIT...well I did and I reread them and kept adding.
Thank you for all who posted back about my pee....I was worried..LOL..But glad to say that as expensive as the all one is..it does NOT give me an upset stomach and I actually just mix it with water.
I just feel so sad and moody and that's not me at all, it never was, even when I got my period, I have always been funny and loving and giving and alcohol took that away and just made me less funny, less loving and angry at everything that went wrong with "me" ..but ironically, I became more giving....because AL consumed my brain and I couldn't realize that the five of ten dollars I'm giving to someone could be used to buy new towels for the bathroom or groceries...I also found that I ordered out ALOT because I was too drunk to cook....love that tool list:h Please keep me in mind as I struggle with today..so far only a couple cravings, but I'm sure they will keep hitting me hard....and what the heck with the sweats? It comes and goes and my eyes are tearing up. Again, thank you all.
Soda

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Sodagirl,
Some people are just stupid. I had a guy at the liquor store tell me "you are going to catch up with your brother if you keep on" He is a long time alcholic with an enabler wife. That really pissed me off. People that don't have a problem just don't think before they speak.

Don't be so hard on yourself our emotions during those first days and even weeks are a rollercoaster. One minute we are happy the next sad and the next angry. This will subside with time as our brain resets itself to a preAL state.

The sweats for me lasted about 5-7 days on and off like a switch. Mostly at night I would wake with wringing wet sheets uncover and then freeze. It is just our body riding itself of the AL.

It will be no time and you will be back to your funny and loving self.

Just stay strong, snuggle in here for the weather outside and the storm inside.

Remember you can't win the war with only one soldier, but here we have an army to aide us in our battle against AL.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

sodagirl;1506013 wrote: Hello all. It's 10:45am here and the weather is going crazy. I had a few hard moments, well, to be honest, QUITE A FEW, yesterday. I still am getting sweats, but not as bad as it was. I actually went to the store and picked up a six pack of beer and took it to the counter. The lady who is ALWAYS there from early morning to late night and knows me for my beer purchases, asked me.."just one?" hahahah, you are going to put us out of business." I walked back to the cooler and grabbed a V8 and told her in a not so nice tone....here, this will make up for your fucking business since it's almost as much as the beer. Reshelve the beer yourself. I left in a very pissy mood. Now I'm so embarrassed, I don't dare go back. It's one thing for someone to have a problem with drinking and you know it, but when you work in a public place, it's not your business to make fun or a joke...it's not fucking funny! The whole way home I was picking on how her hair is so stupid and she's ugly and she's a loud mouth and she's nosy and her kids are stupid and not as good as mine and anything to make me feel better because she made fun of me. But, I drank my V8 and cried and cried and cried because I felt like such a horrible person for thinking those thoughts of someone else....how dare I judge anyone? Still hanging in there and reading all the posts. I used some of the tools and one said to write down all the things that were bad when drinking and be EXPLICIT...well I did and I reread them and kept adding.
Thank you for all who posted back about my pee....I was worried..LOL..But glad to say that as expensive as the all one is..it does NOT give me an upset stomach and I actually just mix it with water.
I just feel so sad and moody and that's not me at all, it never was, even when I got my period, I have always been funny and loving and giving and alcohol took that away and just made me less funny, less loving and angry at everything that went wrong with "me" ..but ironically, I became more giving....because AL consumed my brain and I couldn't realize that the five of ten dollars I'm giving to someone could be used to buy new towels for the bathroom or groceries...I also found that I ordered out ALOT because I was too drunk to cook....love that tool list:h Please keep me in mind as I struggle with today..so far only a couple cravings, but I'm sure they will keep hitting me hard....and what the heck with the sweats? It comes and goes and my eyes are tearing up. Again, thank you all.
Soda

Oh, Sodagirl

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Here is one good thing to come out of it -- you don't want to go back to your beer store again !!

Your brain is not really "you" while on AL or while getting off of it either. Feeling mean and nasty towards someone that embarrassed you -- especially about such a sensitive subject right now - is totally normal. Maybe what you said will make her stop and think next time before she speaks.

On the other hand, this insensitive woman stopped you from buying the beer! Bad as she seems, she did you a HUGE FAVOR (maybe when you are well past the early days of this, you can stop by and thank her :H!)

If you ever feel like buying beer or drinking at all, please come on here and post FIRST. Just the act of posting might be enough to stop you but if not, maybe someone in the Nest can play the role the clerk did and write something that helps you make a different choice. (It is even ok if you get mad at us for saying what you don't think you want to hear -- we've all been there. The people I value most here are the ones who had the courage to tell me the hard, uncomfortable truths I needed to hear).

I was a raving b*tch for the first 2 weeks in addition to being cold all of the time and constantly bone-tired (At least it was January and early February so I was able to blame it on the weather and dark days). Don't be too hard on yourself. The real you will emerge and you will love her.

:h NS

[Overit44]

Newbies Nest

Good morning. Just checking in real quick. I wanted to say thank you for all the Congrats on my 150 days. You're right Byrdie, I couldn't wait to get that reward!

T-2-great to see you.

Hello to all the newbies.

My life has kind of spiraled out of control lately so a lame excuse about not being around more. Thinking of you all though.

[sodagirl]

Newbies Nest

Dear NS and JDG....unfortunately, that's not a "booze" store. They sell gas and soda and beer and chips and just crap....although in my drunken state, I have been known to actually go and buy toilet paper because it's only a mile down the road, but the cost...holy hannah

Thank for letting me know those sweats will go..that's what I get now...hot and then cold then sweat like crazy. I am still taking the topa, but not sure how long that takes to kick in. I am amazed at how many woman are on here and have the same problem I do...some wine, some beer, some hard liquor, but we all have a drinking problem that we have recognized. It gives me strength. I hope one day that I can help someone else as you are all helping me. And I don't really swear...LOL.

I have a meatloaf in the crockpot and mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner when my kids get home because their father, my ex, signed them up for baseball and it starts at 5:30...I am soooooo pissed off at him. he knows they have piano and homework and we have to eat dinner and the games don't end until almost 9pm....Last I checked isn't there a 10 run rule that calls the game quit if one team is winning by that much? They are kids 9-11 year olds. Man I hope it rains tonight...isn't that awful of me to say that? All I can think of is having dinner after piano, playing a game with them, then pjs and off to bed to keep me from drinking. THIS ABSOLUTELY SUCKS!

Thank again. and I'm drinking a soda with fresh squeezed lemon in it and it tastes like ASS. I'm going back to the lemon tea..LOL

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!

Soda - I was the biggest GRUMP ever for the first couple of weeks. I'd snap at my daughter and then cry, and she'd just pat me on the back and say "It's OK". I've been honest with her about what I've gone through so she knows. I hope my honesty will prevent her from ever bringing this upon herself.

I almost wish my regular beer dealer would have commented on the amounts I purchased, it may have pissed me off enough to storm out too. But no, he just smiled and took my money...and took and took and took. Ugh.

Hang in there, it does get easier. We're here for you!

K9

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1506041 wrote:
I almost wish my regular beer dealer would have ...
K9

This really struck me! For all other drugs, we disparage the "sellers" -- with AL, everything is accepted or glamorized until there is a problem and then AL's victim is blamed for being weak and lacking selp-discipline!

(Kambob -- I will never use the phrase 'abuse alcohol' again after reading your brilliant post a couple days ago! AL is the abuser of those of us who somehow got in way over our heads).

The temperance movement clearly didn't work but society's view of all this sure needs an overhaul of some sort!

Hang in there, everyone!

:h NS

[eyesbleu]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone. I'm pulling up a chair.
Its warm, safe and cozy in here.
I just got a new job.
Requirements are simple. Don't drink.
Compensation: Priceless.
Hours: all of them.

I've only put in 48 hrs so far but I think I can handle it.
Thanks for being here.
bleu

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Brandi, great going on your 17 days!!! You are just quietly kicking arse!!!

Soda, your emotions will be all over the place, so just expect that as your body adjusts. I was bouncing off the walls....empowered and ready to do this one minute and reduced to a pile of sobbing tears the next. I had a bad case of the 'poor me's'. I found (and still do find) that putting myself on a task to do something for someone else is an amazing outlet for this. It sounds like you are busy enough as it is, but maybe take a plate of that delicious food to the neighbor who lives alone and seldom gets good home cookin. I like to bake cakes and that took my mind off my troubles many times when I found myself wobbly. You won't believe the gratification it brings to do something nice for someone else when he/she isn't expecting it. Just a thought, it sure helped me.

I also had really good luck with Charm's Blow Pops when I had a craving. As we know, a good AL hankering lasts about 15 minutes. A Charms Blow Pop (a sucker with bubblegum in the middle....sorry, NoSugar) lasts about that long. Being, well, a sucker, it requires attention, you have to mess with it and hold it and twirl it around in your mouth...this gives your mind something else to concentrate on. The sugary sweetness makes your mouth happy and when you finally get to the bubble gum part, you are so busy dealing with that until the whole thought of having a drink has subsided!! It worked like....a CHARM! (insulin shot not included!). You can buy bags of them at Sam's. They also are great for quieting loud children on planes.

Whatever gets you thru the day AF!! That's why we're here! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Bleu!! We're glad you're here!
Once you've been on the job a while it will be second nature! If you ask me, you are over the hardest part....that is Day 1!

Kuya, one of our many analytical types here, deduced that your chances of success are greatly increased by participating on these boards at least once a day! Somehow, the very act of typing out your words, feelings and plan of action makes it happen. Pulling the words out of your head and getting feedback in return helps so much. I would venture to guess there's not a story or horror tale you could share that we haven't seen/heard/done!! You are among friends here! Glad you found us, I owe my sobriety to this little nest (and Lav!!) Welcome aboard! Byrdie