Newbies Nest

[Cinders]

Newbies Nest

little beagle;1508077 wrote: Thank you Byrdie that was an inspirational post to start the day with. I am struggling with some of my problems caused by al right now. You are right. Accepting that I caused them myself by drinking and not drinking Ever again is the solution.
Have a great Monday everyone.

Not only do we cause problems because of drinking, LB, we cannot work on any problems whether caused by drinking or just plain everyday problems while we are drinking.

It is very empowering to know that no matter what happens, I will be sober to face it.

Cindi

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, again, Nesters,

It's almost 7:00 in this little corner of the world. I just finished reading a bit from Steindl-Rast's The Music of Silence. I like this: "...All of us have our own version of the noonday devil. Jewish tradition teaches that even when you don't feel like doing what you're supposed to do, just do it. Say the prayer, perform the mitzvah. In time, your feelings will catch up with your doing..."

For me, that was a big part of freeing myself from the clutches of alcohol. I had to keep doing what I did not want to do: avoid alcohol. It was difficult for quite some time. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, my feelings about alcohol changed. It no longer had the power over me that it previously had. Yes, my feelings finally caught up with my doing. :chick:

Have a fabulous Monday!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Tess-2;1508086 wrote:
Jewish tradition teaches that even when you don't feel like doing what you're supposed to do, just do it. Say the prayer, perform the mitzvah. In time, your feelings will catch up with your doing..."

At times when I've struggled with minor depression, I was advised to think of what I would want to be doing if I weren't depressed and just do that even when I didn't really feel like it. Oftentimes, mood really did change in response to the actions.

I realize that this is overly simplistic for major issues but it can be a useful tool for getting out of a "funk". I hadn't thought about it in terms of becoming sober, but it sounds like it could work .

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Awww Fin :l My heart is breaking for you. He sounds like a wonderful man, and I'm sure he was proud of his son! Sending you love :h:h:h

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi Ya'll,

Sorry I haven't been around my computer crashed and I did not get it replaced until today. Sooo.....

Fin - so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother when I was 16, its hard at any age. My prayers are with you.

BTW drove for the first time today by myself, first time in 18 days. Usually I would have stopped for a "drink", but today was different, it really didn't cross my mind. Woo Hoo, so far with the help here I am beating this disease.

Happy Monday!

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nester's,

Well done JD Girl.

Day 9. Bring it on.

[Donehere]

Newbies Nest

day 4 or is it 5, I do believe it is 5 by my bill of sale, anymore the days are not important to me, it is act of not drinking and am I able to beat my 3 mo. AF record, after that I did 2 mo. all that in the past 3 years, since then I have been AF anywhere from 1 day to 3 weeks. Moderation does not work for me at least, but the idea of bein AF the rest of my life does not seem to want to register in this grey matter inside my thick skull.
So day by day I will play it out and hope and continue to hope

[Donehere]

Newbies Nest

:hday 4 or is it 5, I do believe it is 5 by my bill of sale, anymore the days are not important to me, it is act of not drinking and am I able to beat my 3 mo. AF record, after that I did 2 mo. all that in the past 3 years, since then I have been AF anywhere from 1 day to 3 weeks. Moderation does not work for me at least, but the idea of bein AF the rest of my life does not seem to want to register in this grey matter inside my thick skull.
So day by day I will play it out and hope and continue to hope:h

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters.....good to see everyone so positive.

In a strange way I think alcohol presents such a problem to stay quit because its negative effects on us are SO SLOW.

Heroin, cocaine, meth work so quickly to destroy people that it is obvious to them and others. Alcohol takes decades often, and therefore we blame life, because life is more dramatic. Add to that the social pressure to drink and it is no wonder it is so hard to accept it is the booze.

Hard day at work.......have a drink.
Argument with spouse/kids.......have a drink
Good news........have a drink
Bad news..........have a drink
Birth of a child......have a drink
Death of a loved one......have a drink
Won lotto........have a lot 'o drinks!
Lost your business.....have a drink
Party.......have a drink
Wedding.....have a drink
Feeling chilled.......have a hot toddy
Feeling hot......have a cold beer
Eating steak......have some red wine
Eating fish......have some white wine
Eating sushi......have some Saki
Got a head cold......have a whiskey ( add lemon for health reasons)!
For those who are religious.....you even get wine in church!

We should not be disgusted with ourselves for becoming alcoholics......we should be amazed that we drank so little and ever functioned at all.

The people I share this journey of recovery with are the bravest and strongest people I will probably ever know.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

well said kuya

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Amen, Kuya!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Nursie;1508054 wrote:
Trouble with my stepdaughter. She's 14 and really talking to way too many boys. Talking about sex and love and I really have my hands full. I have never on my drunkest day juggled 5 guys so i need to do an intervention with her before I strangle her.
Ok, I'm off to work!
Parenting advice welcome!!!!

Well you asked, so here is my take on your problem......it is YOUR problem ! :H

Seriously though. I have three children, my oldest is 33, then 23, then 13. The youngest is a girl.

My daughter is a straight A student, accomplished dancer, pianist, artist, computer geek. She is awesome, I adore her company ( most of the time ). She is 14 in two weeks extremely mature and successful socially and academically.

She also started puberty at twelve, has an amazing woman's body and a sexuality to match.

SHE TALKS, THINKS AND DREAMS ABOUT BOYS CONSTANTLY ! :H:H

We talk daily about her boy crushes, boy feelings, what we laughingly describe as her 'raging ovaries'. When I bore of it SHE reminds ME that the only function of all this education is to be the most suitable mate.

Society, or rather western society, says she is not old enough for sex until 16. Society also says alcohol is good stuff to drink. Nature says my daughter was old enough to have children at 12, it is my job to acknowledge this, and her feelings and advise her how to navigate her way to adulthood safely and sanely.

We talk far more about sex than about homework. She does her homework as I have trained her to, she dreams of boys and sex as nature has programmed her to do.

Basically what I am saying is your stepdaughter is normal. My advice is to engage with her, show her you understand what is going on in her body and mind.
If you deny and negate her reality she will not respect your advice and run the risk of poor choices based on the peer pressure of other adolescents.

We are sexual beings, and should celebrate it in a responsible way

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters, Just about to head off to work. Kuja, How True ! hope you all have a nice af day. Will catch up on all the posts later after work.

DAY 13 here

[Live_Love_Learn]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters! Today is day one AF!! I took my Campral and I'm excited about being sober!! I'm going to check in regularly and I can't wait to read more

[halo]

Newbies Nest

Welcome live_love_learn. Congrats on your day 1, remember to take it one day at a time, and pretty soon all your AF days are going to add up to a much better, healthier life for you and your family! The Newbies Nest is a welcoming place and you will most definitely find the support you need here, and this support is the best because everyone here knows what you are experiencing.Some very wise people on this site to help you on your journey to be AF. Wishing you the strength and determination to succeed, :l