Newbies Nest

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

Hi ,love all the posts soo good,Byrlady and tess-2, everyone keep up the great work writing here very helpful,l am doing better all the time with this no wine,drinking,of l only knew it wouldn't be horrible to quit l may have done it sooner,but LM happy l did,sometimes l get sad that l can't have as l would call it my wine,not any more,l look more alive my eyes seem fresher,LM happy l quit ,just few fleeting moments l get about having wine while cooking,but not gonna drink alcohol,my body and brain are thanking me,I'm a run on writer sorry about that,l was never good at punctuation,Lt followed me through my adult years,l can write just don't desperate my writing,oh well,everyone have a great day ,tomorrow Thursday yay,1 day closer to weekend,like the weekend ,rest,ahh solo good!!! Happy sober wed.!!

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

Meant to say seperate

[lvn122900]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest,
I am trying to stay focused. I lost my friend. Just ordered a bottle of wine. Bac taken.
Today I went for an interview. Am floating, cannot think.
L.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

L,

I just read your post about Vachkiri. I'm so sorry. Drinking won't help anything, though. Can you eat something, drink some water with lemon, hot tea? Let us know how we can help.

UN:l

[lvn122900]

Newbies Nest

Thank you UN, I am a mess. She got me here! I am very angry!!!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Do you want to go into the chat room? I can log on there - not sure how to help, but I'm here for you if you just want to talk. You go to Live Chat and do the drop down arrow.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

lifechange;1509003 wrote: During a sleepless night full of sadness, angst, shame, panic, i made the decision to run back to the nest. i haven't been here for a long time. I had a great 2 months af where i felt on top of the world. I felt like nothing could cause me to drink again. I wasn't actively working anymore by checking in here, reading, making plans, etc. I thought after a short 60 days that i had it beat. But i didn't and then i couldn't get it under control again. I didn't trust myself to come back because i knew i didn't have it in me to start to do the work again.
Now i still don't trust myself to do what i say, but i want to try one day at a time again.
I've been reading here all day and was so happy to see Unwasted and Freefly back and to read such powerful optimistic, hopeful words from all of you. And what you just wrote, Byrdie, was exactly what i needed to hear.
So my plan is to check in each and every day and to spend at least 30 minutes reading and posting.
It usually ends up being much longer.
Thank you all for being here!!

Dear lifechange,

We have been more than happy to save your seat for you in The Nest. Each and every one of us can feel and relate to your angst. It all hurts so terribly bad. We know because we have lived it. I am terribly sorry for your pain.

You don't need to entirely trust yourself in order to start again. I certainly did not trust myself at the beginning of my journey to sobriety. In fact, I was nearly certain that I would fail. All that is required is that you make a start, which you have. Good for you!! :heart:

Yes, please check in each day. Let us know what you are struggling with and what you need.

Thank YOU for being with us. ~

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

lvn-
Do you mind sharing what happened to vachkiri? (Don't worry about it if you dont...but it might help)
I remember having a few conversations with her....

[Honeysoup]

Newbies Nest

So sorry for your loss lvn! I see many old and new faces here "welcome home Honey" I say to myself as I read and write posts.
Today is day 11 - I am so proud of myself, lately I have been keeping so busy that I don't have time to drink but the thought still crosses my mind everyday. I have been taking my Antabuse and it has really helped me stay on track. I still can't help myself from my brain thinking "ok, quit taking your pill on such and such day so you can drink on that weekend". As soon as I start thinking that is when I check to make sure I took my pill and if I didn't I pop it in my mouth before anything else happens...so that's how I have been dealing with it. I can't worry about tomorrow yet only today and I suggest the same for you too...

Peace

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

One day at a time is all any of us can do. Thanks Byrdie for today inspirational post. You are helping me make it. Day 24 for me.
I am so glad I found mwo.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

LVN,

so sorry to hear about your loss. If there is anything I can do please let me know.

It is so hard to lose someone close to you.

Stella would not want you to drown your sorrows. This is doable.

Please don't shy away from here there are lots of people who can help.

Stay well friend,
JDG:l

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1508976 wrote: ...

* You will NOT get over being an ALK. It's a lifelong party and we got an invitation. No, you cannot moderate addiction...

Byrdie

You know, I should be sad that I will never get over being an alcoholic. But I'm not sad. I'm grateful to know the truth. I'm elated that I received an invitation. Somehow, in a way that is difficult to explain, it has made me a better person. I feel more compassion. I embrace all of life: good, bad, ugly. I try not to judge. Who am I going to judge? Who am I going to blame?? No one. There is absolutely not one person that I can blame for becoming an alcoholic.

For me, there is tremendous freedom in all of this. Yes, I am an alcoholic. That is an undeniable fact. But the other undeniable fact is that alcoholism can be managed and controlled. It does not need to dictate a life of suffering and despair. It is NOT a hopeless situation.

I must choose each and every day, each and every moment, how I wish to live this one life that has been granted to me. And I give thanks to the friends that I have found in The Nest and in my neighborhood who support me and love me and cheer me on.

I am cheering All of you on, too. Own the problems that you have so that they are not able to own you. This, I believe, is the path to happiness. ~

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters, Wow! You guys have been busy overnight. I am on the opp side of the world and about to head off to work,so won't catch up on all your posts till tonight!!! Just wanted to check in a say have a nice af day. Those that are struggling,keep strong,have a plan in place and remember IT DOES get easier. I would not have believed that 15 days ago, but it does and is so worth it!!!WILL catch up later.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Thanks, everyone for the kind words! Tess, we were having a thought wave this morning when we both posted similar messages. I think I am also a better person having gone thru all this. I appreciate things and people much more than I used to....I appreciate LIFE. I'm just thrilled to be part of it again, you know? AL robs us of everything, right down to our dignity....

lvn, I emailed Vachkiri the night she posted that farewell note...I saw her green light go out and was so worried about her. I am deeply sorry for your loss. As you know, that same demon is after us all....please don't drink that bottle you ordered. The answers you seek are not there. Sometimes you have to just muscle thru pain to get thru it. Drinking makes everything worse. It is the opposite of LIFE. Do whatever you can to stay sober today...I know the pain is keen, but you can get do it.

I absolutely hate AL and what it has done to me and my friends here. Not one drop not ever! I will not give in to this dam disease!! Stay strong everyone! Byrdie

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1508976 wrote: Morning, Nesters! So good to see everyone! 2 cups of high octane coffee this morning and I am raring to go!

I am struck by a couple of thoughts this morning... there are some amazing TRUTHS to be found on this site....they are hard to swallow at first, but once you do you can see them.

* We all sought out this site because we have serious problems with AL. That's the easy statement. I will go on to say that I have yet to see someone come here that wasn't an ALK. Ouch. That even hurts me to say, but accepting that truth is important.

* One drink won't do any of us any good. That is THE BIG LIE. Don't do it. It leads you back down the rabbit hole and into the depths of Alco-hell. (thanks 199days)

* You will NOT get over being an ALK. It's a lifelong party and we got an invitation. No, you cannot moderate addiction.

* The folks who succeed here do a couple things: Adopt a Zero Tolerance Policy towards AL and they post often. They check in here every day. It is important to keep this forward in our minds, because society tells us the exact opposite.

* Accept responsibility for your disease. This wasn't caused by anyone else, it's the perfect storm of circumstances....it is what it is...now we must adjust our sails to deal with it. AND, no one else can cause you to fall. It is YOUR hand that picks up that glass.

*THE GOOD NEWS: Everything goes better in life when you are clear to let it happen. Decisions are made more easily because you have more information upon which to make them! The future looks brighter and is full of hope! YES you CAN live without AL the rest of your life, because you are proving that right now!

*Don't let fear keep you from being free. This is a biggie. When you prepare for situations, there is nothing to fear. You are NOT operating without a net, you are operating with a clear head and heart. For us, one drink sends us back to the world of guilt/shame/remorse. Don't let the Fear of failing stop you from trying.

* Use this site like a lab experiment. I would dare to say, that any circumstance you would dream up has been dealt with over the course of the seven years this site has been around. Dive in and find out how your situation turned out. Like anything else in life, you get out of this site what you put in....the more you dig in, the more value you find.

Go out and make it a great day, nesters!! Byrdie

Fabulous post. Thanks, T-Bryrd!