Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

jenniech;1510641 wrote: A very close friend of the family passed away today. When I was 18 and my dad abandoned my mom and I, Nick came into our lives. He was my mom's best friend, boyfriend for a while and just always there. He was only 1 year older than my oldest sister (my mom was quite the cougar )
Anyway, he was only 57. A chronic alcoholic. He died a slow, horrible death.....over the past year that is. Today his heart finally gave out and he died of a heart attack.
So, I just found out about an hour ago and the FIRST thing that I wanted to do was have a drink. Shit. I won't but I really want to........I hate AL

hadit;1510868 wrote: Hello Jenni again. You have every right to get angry!!! AL took one of my best mates and destroyed his kids. I intend to fight him till the day I die.

Unwasted;1510928 wrote: Jenni, my dad was a raging alcoholic and died at age 50, so I feel your pain. My brother died in his early 50s from a combination of drugs/cigs/alcohol. It just baffles me that something that causes so much destruction is just an everyday occurrence in our society. Maybe someday alcohol will be ostracized like cigarettes are today. It's truly insane.

Before I came to MWO, I had no idea how devastating this drug alcohol is. I'm so sorry that it has taken these people from all of you. It is a huge testament to your strength and commitment that you are no longer in its grip and you are doing everything you can to avoid ever being trapped again. Not drinking truly is choosing life.

It is inspiring how many people are actively posting in the Newbies Nest and clearly are making that choice. I think this is the first time in the months that I've been here that there was such a large group of supportive, enthusiastic, determined people. I'm getting used to this lifestyle (--- don't get me wrong, I am VERY happy about that ) and no longer have the daily Enormous All-Encompassing Challenge followed by Relieved Success. Reading your posts keeps all that alive in me and I appreciate it! I don't want to ever forget how different life is now.

Thanks, :h NS

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

Evening all,

Just wanted to say how thankful I am that so many of our members are making it through this holiday weekend and not caving to temptation.

Well.............I did cave and drank a few beers. I hate this, its no ones fault but mine. So tomorrow I dust myself off and begin again. This will NOT beat me. I did stop at a few. Feel so cheated, and remember why I don't drink.

To anyone who has "fallen" I know there is hope. Its like a kid riding a bicycle who falls, we as parents clean them up, say its ok we all do it, and then we put them right back on and they ride as if they have been doing it all their life.
JDG

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

JDG, no one is as hard on us as we are on ourselves. Good luck in getting back on the wagon. You can do this!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters, What a great weekend. Lots of activity in the nest with some real progress being made.Its good to get through the w/e af; its always the hardest time for me and probably most of us, so much booze around its hard for us alkies. THIS attempt at quitting has been different. I am much more confident that I will beat it this time. I have thought a lot at the weekend about why its been different this time:

1. FINALLY accepted that I am an alcoholic.
2. Realized, I can never drink again. Moderation is a disaster.Most of us can't do it. 3.Seeked out Medical Intervention and support from my GP
4. Purposely put myself out there amongst alcohol as often as possible and confronted him (al) head on. Have won each time.
5. Always have a plan.
6. Have asked for and had support from my wonderful wife and family.
7. Have learnt from previous mistakes.
8. Listening to my body. No more Hangovers and obsessing about that next drink
9. I have realized I can handle stress and be much more effective in life without alcohol.
10.Accepting that my relationship with al was a very bad, abusive and costly one.
11.I know I can be a better person without al in my life and a much better father to my children and husband.
12.That heavy drinking is a health hazard and not only encouraged in our society, but is accepted as "normal".
13.Sad as it seems, I am using other members of my family, who are addicted to drugs and al as an incentive for me to stop.I can't help them if I am drinking!
14.Last BUT NOT LEAST, I have found and embraced a family in MWO with people just like me. I know I wouldn't be AF without you guys. Thank you all so much. 19 days af today. I would love to hear from others WHY are you committed to success this time? :l:l:l 14.

[OldLifeOver]

Newbies Nest

Im new to this forum after finding you via searching for help with withdrawl symptoms, i am on day four of no alcohol and after lots of denial i have reached a turning point, i have horrid tummy pains,the worst runs,headaches and nausea but am determined to stick it out and reclaim my life after 15 years of drinking nearly every night up to two bottles of wine, i have been a heavy drinker throughout my childrens childhood but only now can recognise it for that.. i had far too many excuses, everyone does it, stress, relaxing,ive earned it,i hate myself,anger,
im now starting out on our new life as a family and hoping i can forgive myself the past and just concentrate on recovery and the future, i have looked through this forum for the last hour and know i have found a valuable form of help :thanks: off to bed now with a cup of tea and some cuddles from my youngest x

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Welcome OldLifeOver!

MWO and the Newbies Nest in particular are THE place to be to win this battle and start your New Life!
You sound very motivated .
The Toolbox (link below) is full of good ideas that should help you.

I'm glad you are here!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Jack, Giving up the booze is a learning process. How do we learn? By our mistakes. Just jump back on board. Perhaps take a look at what you could have done differently and move on again as quickly as possibly. Good Luck!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Old Life, Just wanted to say hi and:welcome: to MWO. There are lots of people here that will help. You just have to ask. So read lots and post often as you can. It can be done! Life is so much better without AL and it does get easier each day. Take a look at the toolbox.

[OldLifeOver]

Newbies Nest

Hi,have just read your post and wanted to reply, im new as of today and only four days AF but that elusuve something that makes you finally say enough is enough has finally hit me..about bloody time but no amount of my sister,partner, friends comments and advice could do it for me,i firmly believe its something inside every alcoholic that just says ..now... for me it was noticing more and more how my youngest daughter (9 years) has started worrying, asking me not to put two bottles of wine in the trolly and only one, searching my face to see if i am drunk, ...im not doing it for her, im doing it for me BECAUSE of her,thats the difference.My biggest stumbling block will be regret and self disgust but im trying to come to terms with how i have been.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Old Life:welcome: You've found a good, safe spot. Read a lot and post as often as you can.

Sending you peace and strength,

UN

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Oldlife, Welcome aboard! Wow, at 4 days, I'd say you are thru the toughest part! At this point, just rinse and repeat! You are in very good company here, I drank for 25 years and can only remember a day or two that I didn't drink in all that time. We have folks in all stages of quitting here, so settle in and read and post!

JackDG, more sympathetic, I could not be. If you learn something, then it isn't a waste! Hop right back in and let's get this started again! You can do this.

Hadit, what a great post. I found that accepting that I was an ALK was a huge step in moving forward. As long as I held out hope that I could drink again someday, I was banging my head against the wall. That hope was ruining my resolve. Accepting that I am an ALK solidified in my head that AL, under no circumstance, is a good idea. Not one drink, not ever. And I'm ok with that, because to think otherwise takes me down the rabbit hole again. There is no conflict anymore in my head. It's actually a relief. Great job for being here!

Stay close, nesters! Strap yourself in first, and then assist your seat mates! Secure your tray tables in the locked, upright position. Enjoy your sober evening! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Greetings Nester's near and not so far,

Welcome OLO!

This is a great thread, so we hope to see you here regularly yapping away. No sugar's recommendation to read our toolbox is an excellent place to start. Congratulations on 4 days booze free. Keep it going and no turning back. Can you see a doctor if you are concerned with withdrawal?

Well done Jenny! Your hubby sounds like a decent bloke.

Hadit. You are a star buddy. Great post. Have a beaut week and no turning back.

Hi JD. Good to hear you pulled out before the nosedive. Rock on with day 1, and a fresher, new resolve friend. Those AF days will rack up before you know it.

Booze killed my dad at 40. Geez. It has been good for me to read everyone's posts here this morning (Monday morning Oz time) re the effects of addiction on family and ourselves of course. I must remain humble, and remember where I came from with AL, and remember how very real and insidious this addiction is. It not only kills, but it is a long, slow suicide for those of us who continue on the merry go round. I've got off and i'm not going back.

Day 15 here. Wowza!

[halo]

Newbies Nest

hadit;1511057 wrote: I have thought a lot at the weekend about why its been different this time:

I would love to hear from others WHY are you committed to success this time? :l:l:l 14.

Had it what a great list, you are doing incredible and seem focused to achieve a better life for you and your family, congrats!

Previously, I tried to stop and then started and repeated this pattern sooooo many times in my life, I lost count. Going through the guilt/shame/remorse path with alcohol was my life for years. My quit day was the day Siren began the 311 gang thread and I have continued on that AF path today (thanks Siren!) . I think there are two reasons why this quit is different for me:

1) The MWO has made me realize I am not alone in my quest. Alcohol is dominant in my family/friends social life and previously going against the norm alone was extremely difficult (which explained my constant failures to be AF previously). I had tried AA and it was just not for me, as I kept on drinking.

2) I decided to look in the mirror and FINALLY accept the truth, alcohol was a destructive force in my life, and I finally admitted that I will never, ever be able to moderate.

Thus I am on day 76 and counting. This time for keeps.....Thanks Newbies Nest for the support, the honesty and the realization that I am not alone :l

[Derek]

Newbies Nest

My plan was to start day one again yesterday after being af for a week. Made myself so busy all day and failed at the end. I woke up this morning to start over again.

I went to the park alone all day to convince myself I am better than this! It really helped me see the beauty in life and why I want to do this. Sunny day beautiful flowers and lots of animals playing. Any other day I would have been back to the store to wallow in my failure. Not today!

I am seeing my girlfriend tonight who will see in my eyes I failed my plan. This would normally cause me to go home and start again leaving just before the store closes. Not today!

I am going to remember how good I felt today in the park wanting to see the beauty in everything with a clear open mind.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Holiday weekends....why does it seem so much harder....I have been doing very well....no AL in the house so that is a good thing...more water.....good grief.....
Dottie