Newbies Nest

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,well last night l was frustrated,of course it was Friday,my normal cry day ,get my feelings out,but l didn't do that,went for a nice dinner with my hubby.we went grocery shopping after,by than l was tired,boy was l miserable.we came home and my husband put away groceries,l was just grumpy.lnstead of letting my feelings out.l down,t sleep well either.l woke up miserable,so l decided l need to cry,first l couldn't ,so l started getting frustrated,the tears came,now l feel great.Boy this is a roller coaster,but now l am ready for the weekend alcohol free.l am also eating really healthy,so all my comp forts are no longer available,hence the misery.but LM learning to deal with life.One day hope to be healthy in mind and body,just a bumpy road on the way.thanks nesters for listening to me!!!

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Bcp
I know what you mean about the eating healthy and being grumpy. I am really trying to go back on my diet after just over a month af. Friday night is not diet night for me just yet, though. I live next to the local convenience store and have people walk through my yard with alcohol purchases. It intensifies cravings. Friday seems to be my weakest day and Indulge on that day. Give yourself a break. This is one of the hardest things we will have to go through. Worries about weight are not as important. At least that is my opinion.
I hope everyone has a great af day.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Attention Nesters....hello? Testing. Testing. Is this thing even on? It is? Ok.

We have anniversaries today!!! Nine months ago this dynamic duo flew into the nest and we haven't been the same since. AllanKay and Kuya joined the team and we are all the richer for it. I remember Allan had been to some other sites and decided this was the best one. Since he joined, he has quit smoking, drinking, started running, run marathons, got a big new job and has time to occasionally eat. This guy did a real 180!! We are very proud of you AK!!! The very same day, Kuya (Kick Up Your Ass) came onboard and immediately became a solid voice of reason. Always the first to welcome people who come onto the site not knowing which way to turn. Kuya takes the night shift and fosters so many people on a daily basis. A single mother and professional woman, Kuya tackles the hard questions and situations. Her strength and guidance are without equal. It is my great honor to congratulate these 2 individuals for outstanding achievement.

:bust::bust:

We are busting with pride for each of you!! Wear your award loud and proud! We are thrilled to have you on this journey with us!!
The Nest

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Byrdie, couldn't have done it without MWO and you, in particular


Nesters, i have read back a couple days and see there are some struggling at the moment, which is to be expected statistically, BUT you are each NOT a statistic and must not think about your relapses as 'acceptable' or 'normal' or 'unavoidable'.

I have posted here from time to time about the risks of repeated breaks in sobriety. When I wrote them before I was giving the science......but now I can add an experience of my own.

I recently quit smoking, did so quite easily, got to two weeks and had heavy smoking friends staying for a week and I succumbed. I thought it would be easy to quit again when they left.........NOT SO :upset::upset:

IT HAS BEEN AWFUL. !!!!

1 day here, 2 days there, days and days of 'tomorrow is THE day'. Does this sound familiar?

We have discussed the effect of KINDLING here before. To summate, when we drink alcohol it stimulates GABA receptors in the brain and causes dopamine and feel good endorphins.

When you stop the brain only remembers the 'feel good' effect of the dopamine and the craving is its way to try and get you to drink. When you are sober it actually makes MORE receptors.......which is why people gradually drink more and more as they get older and
IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO QUIT.

And from my smoking experience recently I think there is a more immediate and hugely significant negative to repeat failures early on.

During my two weeks smoke free I didn't really struggle consciously, I felt proud of my achievement, a bit odd but very positive. But the addicted part of my brain does not have that logic. All IT knows is for two weeks it was DEPRIVED, and it will pull EVERY trick in the book to ensure I NEVER PUT IT THROUGH THAT AGAIN !!

This conflict confused me A LOT for the past few weeks, but it ties in with my drinking experience also. My first quit, in 2011 was easy ( after 23 years of heavy daily drinking) lasted 9 weeks when I innocently thought I could have 'just one'. I say innocent because I did not have MWO then.

BAM!! I was straight back to daily drinking and it took EIGHT MONTHS to quit again. I had to hit a NEW low physically to start again.

Today I am nine months sober, am content and NEVER crave alcohol anymore. The safety zone was hit at four months, since which time I have never looked back ( had my down moods but never battled a desire to drink).

To conclude..... Addiction, and beating it, is NOT down to strength, it is down to understanding. No matter how long you may have quit in the past your brain behaves exactly the same......the addicted part NEVER learns.

Trust us who are longer sober....IT DOES GET EASIER, IT EVEN GETS TO BE FUN

And this is from someone, nine months sober, who still struggles with smoking because she STUPIDLY let nicotine back in.

Understanding this you can, hopefully, find the faith to battle those early days and KNOW you WILL get to a place of peace and joy. Any doubts are just the addicted primitive part of your brain trying to get its dopamine fix......it doesn't know that the alcohol is slowly killing you.

It may be a different drug, but believe me, I am right there with you......... One Day At A Time.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Aloha Nester's near and not so far,

Great info in your post KY. Thanks for taking the time to write it. For me, the techniques for giving up the booze and the smokes are much the same. Thankfully I gave away cigarettes many years ago, but it took me a few attempts. It is one of the best, most freeing things I have ever done for myself.

Congratulations to you Kuya and Allankay on 9 months AF. Sensational stuff!

Welcome back Moretoit!

Big waves to everyone else, and yes, I am waving at YOU.

Attitude of gratitude indeed. Great post Jennie. Kick those blues to the curb friend.

Day 21. Bring it on!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Wow did I get a lot done today - even got my veggie garden planted, finally

I am very happy for you G, rocking 21 AF days, :yay:

Allan & kuya, you guys have done so well, congrats to both of you!!

Kuya, I can honestly say that I never crave AL. Every so often I may have a quick passing thought about it but it disappears. Smoking, on the other hand.......I absolutely will not start again but the thoughts are frequent & just plain annoying. What a pain in the butt after 4 years, huh???

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

[Peanut]

Newbies Nest

Greetings to you all!
Lavande, I finally did it!!! I've been procrastinating posting for so long, because then I would have to do something about my situation. Well, I finally have to do something, or I might just end up ill or dead - I already feel ill all the time. And I don't think my kids would appreciate a dead mama, even though they are all grown up!
So I shall try to come visit every day and read, read, read!!!
It's nice to be back!
xoxo peanut

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Peanut! Welcome aboard! So glad to hear that you have made the decision to change your life for the better! Please find the link to the Tool Box in my signature line below....it contains valuable tips and coping skills to help you thru these first challenging days. We are so glad you're here!

I apparently have ants, one is crawling across my screen!!! UGG! Night Nesters....Byrdie

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1514042 wrote: Good evening Nesters,

Wow did I get a lot done today - even got my veggie garden planted, finally

I am very happy for you G, rocking 21 AF days, :yay:

Allan & kuya, you guys have done so well, congrats to both of you!!

Kuya, I can honestly say that I never crave AL. Every so often I may have a quick passing thought about it but it disappears. Smoking, on the other hand.......I absolutely will not start again but the thoughts are frequent & just plain annoying. What a pain in the butt after 4 years, huh???

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Lav

Lav I think the problem with smoking is it doesn't cause an obvious damage to anything but our pockets. Also I smoked ALL day, pretty much EVERYWHERE! :H:H

I only drank at night, at home for a few hours ..... And there was an immediate reward for sobriety......I felt soooo much better.

There are more ex smokers than smokers in the US now..... The pull back can't be THAT strong.

Recidivism for drinking is FAR worse. Out there drinkers rarely stay quit, the success of MWO is truly phenomenal in comparison.

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters, Just checking to say Hi! Great Post Kuja. I gave up smoking 30 year ago. I was totally addicted tried many many times and finally beat it! The cravings left me after a few months. I guess everyone is different. My approach to kicking the habit was pain stacking but it worked. Tried everything and one day got the idea to wean myself off nicotine the same way I started....................by SLOWLY reducing my intake. I started smoking 2,3 cigs a day then it was up to 25 or more. SO i reduced my cigs per day over a 12mth period until I was having just 3 or 4 and I was strong enough to say thats it. I am finished.
Its not easy,tapering takes a lot of willpower and commitment but it worked. Good Luck I actually found the addiction to Nicotine stronger than al and also lasted longer,but as I said everyones addiction seems to be different. Have u tried Patches,people swear by them. Hypnosis worked for 2 of my friend.


25 DAY af today!

[STEADFAST]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Sunday!

I just wrote the longest post ever, only to be told i was not logged in (i was, but beware the perils of changing your User-Name!)
In essence, what i said was: A few days is a long time away from the Nest. So many posts!
Am at Day 35 today, which has made me feel reflective. It's been a long five weeks!
I started drinking (and getting drunk) at age 13. Now as i approach my 50th birthday, i have resolved that i never want to get on the Al merry-go-round ever again. It's true that each time i've quit it's been harder.
Will focus on the many benefits of not drinking Al.
* Renewed health (slowly, but surely)
* Renewed confidence & optimism
* More opportunities to do stuff like catch up with friends (and no risk of having to cancel due to hangover/ cravings / withdrawal
* I can read again!
* More money to spend on other treats
* The list goes on!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Thanks steadfast for the post. Being af is a whole new world . I am much more relaxed off the turps. The roller coaster ride is a nightmare. Well Done on 35 days af. 25 Days today for me. I would say Fridays between 4.00 pm and 7.00 are still the hardest. Apart from this time its not to bad. Waking with out that guilt is a huge benefit for me:goodjob:!

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Hadit......how about planning something specifically for that time on Fridays? A massage, a swim, the gym or volunteer at a shelter?

Thanks for your thoughts on smoking..... I am very all or nothing and failed miserably trying to cut down ciggie s and still smoked with nicotine patches :H

I like the three days and it's over of cold turkey . I only failed last time because I was exposed to too much temptation with my friends too early in my quit. I will NOT make that mistake again

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Kuya. What I forgot to mention was that in the first 6 weeks I made some huge changes in my lifestyle. For example:
* stayed away from pubs and clubs. That meant not seeing my friends for a while.
*when I went anywhere in the car,left the fags back home or in the office.
* used cig filters
* when I went to the toilet,didn't take the fags
*would only allow me a cig during certain hrs ie no smoking before breakfast or for an hr after
*hung out with non smokers at the local pool
* got rid of all the ashtrays,cig lighters etc
* finish half the cig then butt it out
* buy less strong cigs and smaller ones

It can be done Kuya,just like al we need a plan. GOOD LUCK.....you can do this pm me if you want some encouragement. My mother in law died from cig smoking. Another story.l

[kuya]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Hadit