Newbies Nest

[free at last]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, glad to hear that people are staying with the plan. Special shout out to the those with 1-3 days under their belt. Keep going.

Went to a big cocktail party to wrap up this conference. Walked up to the bar for SW&L and cruised the territory like a shark (ok, maybe a dolphin). Now in the airport lounge sipping on my SW&Lemon and amazed that no temptations entered my brain today -- what a wonderful change. I've been on this journey for almost 4 months now, with stops and starts but as of the last few days starting to feel, just maybe, that my brain is creating new receptors and I am not associating all past activities as automatic triggers for alcohol.

Now, can't get complacent, as I am sure the temptations are coming. But for today, remaining AF was a joyful choice.

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Greetings to All,

Wow! Busy weekend here!! Haven't had a chance to read posts from the weekend yet, except for the last few.

Byrdie - One of the most helpful things I did at the start of sobriety was to get ALL alcohol out of my home. As long as there was a stash somewhere, the alcohol would be calling to me with a "come hither" look. Alcohol can be very seductive!!

Some people say that they can't remove alcohol from their home because they live with someone who drinks. I understand this dilemma because I live with someone who drinks, too: Hubs. He did NOT want to acknowledge that I was an alcoholic, at all. He very much wanted me to be able to have a couple of beers with him from time to time.

I had to have a difficult and serious conversation with Hubs to explain that if I did not find a way to stop drinking I was likely going to die. And that was no exaggeration. I had to tell him how I behaved if I thought there was even a chance that he had stashed alcohol somewhere. I would do crazy things such as get up in the middle of the night and dig through the garage looking for a "fix." I did not want to have to tell Hubs these embarrassing details, but I needed him to understand the depth of my problem.

I could only begin to heal when I knew, beyond a doubt, that there was no alcohol to search for. And he loved me enough to comply with my wishes. Our "new normal" is that he brings home only what he is going to drink, when he is going to drink it. If any is left, it goes down the drain. AND, if I'm feeling vulnerable I have the option to ask that he drink somewhere else. This is working well for us.

Gotta run. Make it a fabulous AL day!! :band2:

[moretoit]

Newbies Nest

My dear Lav, send some of your heat wave this way, please. Saturday was nice, yesterday wet and cold, today sunny and cool. Oh well,as it is known here in Canada, we are the only ones who wear shorts one day and a coat and touque the next, it is like that old Red Rose tea commercial " ONLY IN CANADA, EAY!" but then she goes on to say "pity" NOT.
Unfortunately my respirtory condition will not correct itself, and my new GP does not agree I have the condition. I am looking elsewhere. Yes I have had the test 4 years ago, I just hope the specilist does not wish to do another bronchia scope, as I woke during the last one,hence a punctured lung.
I can only hope I am as strong as you in the months to come. Thanks again
Jenn, like you I wish I could ride the waves of the ocean, my cravings are not that long thankfully, but for those who's are keep reading and posting. There are many good and tried ways to ride those cravings.
So everyone in the nest, stay dry and warm and of course AF

Enjoying life for there is so much "More to it"

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

MOrning all,
Did good until Sunday...my hubby took me to lunch and ordered a glass of wine without thinking about it and 5 glasses later.....so disapointed in myself. So here is to day one. I didn't login over the weekend and I will make my self do that several times this coming weekend as I know it helps to read all the post and be accountabale.
DW

[Siren136]

Newbies Nest

Daily wine :l. Treat yourself well, my dear.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Daily....if you ask yourself the really hard question, why did you order that wine at lunch? Remember you are talking to the bullshitter's bullshitters here.
You ordered wine without really thinking about it. I'm going to 'call' you out on this. If you are like I was...I thought about AL from sun up to sun down....how I was going to get my next 'fix'. I can honestly say I never accidently drank. You have joined a site for people with AL problems...if you are like most of us, the fall begins long before the AL is drunk. That is why our PLAN is so important. Knowing you are going to lunch, if your hubs is like mine, he asks 'where do you want to go?'. If you don't entirely trust yourself, go someplace that doesn't serve AL. As you can see, we have no OFF switch. So we must control ourselves where we do not begin the process. Your hubs may need to be included in your plan so he doesn't derail you, too.
Please dust yourself off and reinforce your plan. You can beat this!! There IS a cure for what we have! Byrdie

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

thanks Siren, I am trying to not beat myself up and look at it as a small set back on this long journey. I feel terrible for letting my son see me like that. Time and him noticing I am not drinking will make up for it.
DW

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

DW, try and shore up your plan. As an ALKIE, I have never ordered a drink without thinking...no, it was always carefully planned out, to be honest. With us, the fall happens long before the drink is drunk. Maybe in the future when your hubs asks where you want to go, suggest someplace that doesn't serve AL. Little things like this make the difference. But as you know, we are in a society where AL is everywhere. We can't rely on others to be looking out for us, we have to take that responsibility upon ourselves. For us, one drink is too many. I know the thinking...I'll just have one and that'll be it...but this is what separates us from the cycle: One drink is NOT going to do us any good. We have to learn to cut off this thinking that we can control it. We CANNOT control it. The only way to win this war is to not drink under any circumstances. Kuya once said in response to my fear that someone would slip one in on me...she said the chances of her 'accidently' drinking are about as good as her 'accidently' having sex!! True.
It may be necessary to share your objectives with your hubby....unknowingly, he could sabotage you. On a good day, my hubs can't read my mind.
Try to pick up and dust off....adopt a policy of Zero Tolerance. I'm telling you, I tried every other way in the book and this one is the only thing that works for us. You can do it. Forward we go! Byrdie

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Brydie for the advice and I agree one is too many. Hubby and I jsut need to find new things to do that don't include al. I will spend time on this site to constantly remind me this is where I need to be.
DW

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

Brydlady.....sorry I typed your name wrong.
DW

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

No problem...you should see what I do with it sometimes!
Hugs, B

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

Other than detox teas are there other things to help your body get back to normal...
DW

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

hi Daily...are you talking about longer term? Or immediate help as in "the day after"....for the day after, lemon water has a detoxifying effect. I know that beets and asparagus are both good for your liver. I drink lots of kefir which (I think) has loads of B vitamins....you are probably depleted in those. And the good old fashioned sweating is really detoxifying. :-)

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

oh and milk thistle.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Had to jump in & say HI to Lola
Haven't seen you here in ages!!!
Still hot, humid & raining off & on here. Can't wait for the cool stuff to arrive

Daily wine, practice saying 'No Thanks'.
Seriously, it's a simple way to get your brain to the point of acceptance so there are no more 'accidents'. We all know there are no real accidents ~ either you drink AL or you don't