Newbies Nest

[gofig07]

Newbies Nest

hopeforfuture;1516305 wrote: Just wanted to say hello. I am a newbie. A nest is what I really need right now.
hugs

Me too ! I needed some support as I go AF. I was going to go cold turkey from average of 4-6 ( wine ) drinks a day for the last year. After reading here I decided I best wean and I had one OZ of vodka in favored kefir water. Drank lots of decaf tea and I had no cravings. Mine is more associating alcohol with situations, habits. Feel so much better this AM !

[rooniferd]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone - Day 22 for me, and I'm feeling really good. I see a lot of people struggling here, and I am sending positive thoughts your way!

My dad and I were talking about my sister's weight problem the other day. We were talking about how we've tried and tried to get her to commit to a diet or some sort of program that would help her drop some pounds. Her obesity is really starting to affect her overall health, and it's painful to watch. It's even more painful to see her cry about it and wish she were a different person - and then CONTINUE TO DO THE THINGS THAT'S MAKING HER LIKE THIS.

Why won't she do anything about her problem? Is she scared? Lazy? What is it????

I told my dad that her light bulb moment hasn't happened yet. That "thing" that makes her decide once and for all to turn her life around - the moment when the commitment comes and NOTHING can stop it. It becomes a life mission, and there's no turning back.

Then I thought about my alcohol addiction, and how the same thinking applies. We alcoholics stay on that hampster wheel of getting sober - getting wasted - getting sober - getting drunk for many years sometimes before we finally reach the point when we commit to getting our lives together and stop heading down the path of misery and eventually death. What makes us finally make that commitment? I guess it depends on the person. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom, losing a job, losing a spouse.....but I do believe that sometimes it's a matter of just being pure FED UP with the crap that comes with drinking.

Fed up with the hangovers, fed up with the wasted money, fed up with the guilt/shame/remorse that's constantly in our heads, fed up with not remembering everything.....and the list goes on!

I hope everyone finds strength in their sobriety and lives in peace today.

[moretoit]

Newbies Nest

good morning nesters, was too exhausted to stop by, just a little note to say all is well, I hope to see my Brother on the weekend, and I pray for the time to finish his portrait.
so to all who are having a bad time I hope your struggles lessen.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Newbies Nest

morning all,

just checking in to say another day sober. as we all know each day gets better and better.
love and strength to all. I was reading in Isiah 53 this morning and it talked about we like sheep have all gone astray. that is like AL we kick it for a while then loose it, so we get back up, be lead again by the one and only and eventually kick it for good.

Looking forward to kicking it for good.
have a great day
JDG

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

That's how l would put it for me rooniferd,l find it was just too much too often and was gonna lead to real problems so l quit,my sister triplet sis and l quit same day,together were going strong,not to say it's not hard sometimes,but it is a thought and a thought can be changed,so weather it's weight or alcohol,we just need to get out of our head and get to work on the problem,we have to make up our own mind to change no one can change it for us.l use to wallow in my own pity party until l took charge,had enough of feeling like crap. So here l am getting through this and like to have this site to write and read. All the best to everyone here day 66 free of wine for me,yay!!!

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

gofig07;1516312 wrote: Me too ! I needed some support as I go AF. I was going to go cold turkey from average of 4-6 ( wine ) drinks a day for the last year. After reading here I decided I best wean and I had one OZ of vodka in favored kefir water. Drank lots of decaf tea and I had no cravings. Mine is more associating alcohol with situations, habits. Feel so much better this AM !

dthalez;1516310 wrote: Definetly a sort of kind of newbie, I an 2 days AF... And I hope I can maintain the rest of my life this way...

hopeforfuture;1516305 wrote: Just wanted to say hello. I am a newbie. A nest is what I really need right now.
hugs

Welcome to all 3 of you to the Newbies Nest! You will find people here at all stages of freeing themselves from AL here. It is the place to be for answers to questions, support, encouragement, and sometimes a kick in the pants (a loving kick ) . Everyone here is in or has been in the same place you are. Read back a couple weeks and get to know the people who are actively posting and please tell us about yourselves so we can get to know you.

If you make this a top priority in your life right now and use all the tools MWO offers, you can do this!

:welcome::welcome::welcome:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!!
Welcome to dt, hope and go fig!!!! We are glad you found us!!

I don't think Lav gets enough credit around here....Perhaps it is because of her economy of words. She sums up in two sentences what I drag out in a long-winded story...much like I'm about to do now. Her remarks about not letting AL be the first thing we turn to are very important. Whether times are good, bad, happy or sad (with apologies to Al Green) our first Go-To is AL. It takes practice and diligence to break this cycle. There at the end, I was sure it couldn't be done. I ALWAYS caved in, it was just TOO HARD. Until one day I did it. I was a little surprised at myself, quite frankly. Then proud. I had overcome a really bad IMPULSE. Overcoming the bad one is all it takes. Surviving that first fall is THE KEY. Do whatever it takes to win...distraction, eating, going to bed, brushing your teeth, calling a friend, googling how many dimples are in a golf ball. WHATEVER it TAKES and NO MATTER WHAT should be mantras in your mind. They are in mine. I bet if you ask anyone with a decent amount of sober time it's in his/her's too. I'll ask that over in the 100 day thread. It is a zero tolerance policy and as hard core as it sounds, it is the most peaceful state I've ever been in. ONE drink will NOT do me any good at all. One drink sends me back to hell. NO, HELL NO! AL will not take one more day of my life. Make this your mantra, too. You can win! Stick up for yourself and fight for your life. IT IS WORTH IT and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
Go kick arse today!! Byrdie

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,
Struggling again but feeling good overall. So much to do with no help so I am trying to break it down into small tasks and not look at the HUGE amount of things that need to be done....hope this strategy helps me sleep..
Dottie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!

Roonie - You are dead right about your sisters weight problem and our alcohol problem...same principle, only WE can do something for ourselves. Yes, we can read all the warnings and dire statistics, but until we ourselves decide to make a change, it will never stick. You can't do anything FOR someone else, it has to be for you. So as hard as it is to see your sister staying the same, there's really nothing you can do. You can't force someone to be healthy, happy or sober. But I do wish the best of luck to her and I hope she does get it into her own mind to change her life.

Well it's that time of year again, DickHead rears his ugly head strong right around now. School is out, my daughter is going to her dads for weeks, my nephew moved out so I am totally alone....guess who came knocking in my brain? Yep, the Beast. Thank goodness I have a full supply of antabuse, it will get me through the struggle. I hate that it's even an issue, but as I told someone else, none of us will ever be "free and clear" of the Beast. BUT...we don't ever have to listen to him again. Antabuse is my Kryptonite against the Beast, it takes away all his power! I plan to spend the next few weeks focusing on ME...for once, it can be all about ME...YAY! I know that sounds selfish, but ah well. LOL

Byrdie - You make me laugh (as usual)...yes Lav sums things up in a word or two and they are powerful! I guess I'm like you...it takes me a while to get to the point. HA But your points are always well worth the wait! :h

[Peanut]

Newbies Nest

Morning Everyone,
Credit to Lav -her gentle encouragement is what drew me back to MWO. Thanks Lav, I am so happy to be back here.

So much inciteful thought here, especially important for me this time of year. I will be heading east to visit my daughter in Montreal and then a friend in Ottawa, both of who know of my struggles. It will be so good to have them not expect me to get hammered and my friend and I can have a more sane, memorable visit. It will be just past 30days when I leave (which I plan to achieve wine free), so since I'll be travelling, I am going to keep it going..... and going and going and going. I just dread the summer visit with my huge family at the beach - I'll have to stick with two of my ex-wino brothers!!!

Tired today - I tried to sleep without sleep aid, but had a midnight phone call from a troublesome daughter who is currently in a bad state in Las Vegas and HAS to come back to Canada!!!! Then, I finally took half a zoplocon at 3:15 and managed to get a bit of shut eye - but soooo sleepy today!!! I shall get out for a walk in the high UV sunshine we have today to lift my spirits!!!

Love to you all!!!
xoxoxo peanut

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Checking in with the comfy nest,
Haven't been on in a bit, but I'm doing well. Been a rough couple of weeks with the funeral and midterms, family staying with me, and finishing up the baseball season.
I think I fared pretty well.
I did well in my midterms and now starting a boot camp workout season with my daughter. 6 weeks of delicious torture!
Looking forward to a productive and sober weekend.

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Greetings Nester's near and not so far,

As well as self care, positive self talk, and learning to love ourselves again, I think we also have to be firm, and almost brutal with ourselves when we are wanting to stop AL and stay stopped. For me, I need to look at it sort of like a business. Hardcore. Zero tolerance. No excuses. Get the plan and stick to it. I need to kick my own arse some of the time and be ruthless in my sobriety, never, ever forgetting where I came from, who I am, who I am meant to be. I need to keep my thinking positive, and I need to be pro-active daily in my recovery from drinking, whatever that means to me.

Take care y'all. Think positive and just do your best.

Day 26. Bring it on!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

rooniferd;1516313 wrote: Hi everyone - Day 22 for me, and I'm feeling really good. I see a lot of people struggling here, and I am sending positive thoughts your way!

My dad and I were talking about my sister's weight problem the other day. We were talking about how we've tried and tried to get her to commit to a diet or some sort of program that would help her drop some pounds. Her obesity is really starting to affect her overall health, and it's painful to watch. It's even more painful to see her cry about it and wish she were a different person - and then CONTINUE TO DO THE THINGS THAT'S MAKING HER LIKE THIS.

Why won't she do anything about her problem? Is she scared? Lazy? What is it????

I told my dad that her light bulb moment hasn't happened yet. That "thing" that makes her decide once and for all to turn her life around - the moment when the commitment comes and NOTHING can stop it. It becomes a life mission, and there's no turning back.

Then I thought about my alcohol addiction, and how the same thinking applies. We alcoholics stay on that hampster wheel of getting sober - getting wasted - getting sober - getting drunk for many years sometimes before we finally reach the point when we commit to getting our lives together and stop heading down the path of misery and eventually death. What makes us finally make that commitment? I guess it depends on the person. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom, losing a job, losing a spouse.....but I do believe that sometimes it's a matter of just being pure FED UP with the crap that comes with drinking.

Fed up with the hangovers, fed up with the wasted money, fed up with the guilt/shame/remorse that's constantly in our heads, fed up with not remembering everything.....and the list goes on!

I hope everyone finds strength in their sobriety and lives in peace today.

Hi Rooni,

Congrats on Day 22!! Awesome!! :armsaround:

Your sister has an addiction, just like the rest of us. Yes, she is frightened. No, she is not lazy. She probably suffers far more than anyone suspects.

Before I started my beer drinking career, I weighed about 110 pounds. My closet was filled with size 0 and 2 clothes. In fact, I felt self-conscious about being so small. I would try to add calories with ice cream shakes and extra helpings. But I couldn't talk with anyone about it because they would roll eyes and say, "I should have your problem."

Then I started drinking beer to calm my nerves. I've always struggled with anxiety. The beer had loads of calories, as everyone knows, but it also increased my appetite. This is the honest-to-God truth: my weight went from 110 to about 220 in 18 months. I know that seems impossible. But my medical record tells the story. When my weight started to climb, and my size became 10 and then 12, I was totally and completely ashamed. So you can only imagine how I felt when I could only wear 2X maternity. Just try to think about it.

Of course, during this time I developed numerous medical issues. I also became a recluse. I didn't want anyone to see me. I didn't want to see myself in the mirror. I wanted to stop drinking and eating junk food, but I couldn't. And then I wanted to die. I became obsessed with suicide.

People who are obese are generally despised. They are considered to be weak, lazy, ignorant gluttons. But they are not. They are not!! They have an addiction. I was treated horribly while I was obese. Whether it was the cashier at the grocery store or the teller at the bank. Sometimes I would forget that I was huge. And I would wonder why someone was behaving in a strange way. And then I would REMEMBER: Oh, I'm obese. That's why. And I wanted to hide. And I did hide as much as I possibly could.

Since getting sober in January, and exercising nearly every day, I have lost a lot of weight. During my first month of sobriety, I lost about 30 pounds. Yes, much of that was water weight. I still have plenty of weight to lose. And I'm working on it. But, and this is the SAD truth, people treat me so much better. SO MUCH BETTER. I'm "me" now -- the same "me" that I was as an obese person. SAME PERSON.

I'm going to repeat my mantra: "We all just want to be loved."

Sending my love to you, Rooni, and All Nesters.

Hang in there. It gets better. ~

[little beagle]

Newbies Nest

Hey Dottie
glad to see you. Missed you lately.
Welcome all hope d and steadfast. You are at the right place for support. Just keep it up.
Everyone is sounding so positive in their determination to kick al out of their lives.
I am having my company arrive shortly. I am determined to remain positive and show that an al free life is very fun and exciting. Much better then one filled with only regrets.
A positive example goes a long way to my way of thinking. I will stick close to the nest and check in as often as needed with my house filled with boisterous drinkers.

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters, WOW this thread has been so busy overnight!!! Just wanted to check in and say Hi. So many positive thoughts. I am about to head off to work (7.30am here) so will catch up on all the posts later to day. Its the weekend and I know it will be a struggle for many. I am going to be totally selfish and do whatever it takes to remain af. I have to. Everyone else around me is going to have to take a back seat for a while. I will be staying close to my friends on MWO, you are the guys I draw strength from! I know this weekend there is going to be lots of booze around in my part of the world! Thanks everyone. Enjoy your af Friday.:l