Newbies Nest

[Samstone]

Newbies Nest

Morning all
been a pretty gloomy couple of days with a hell of a lot rain. Lots of drowned cicadas. Sun's out today though. The outlook is always hopeful.
I AM sober
SS

[bcp2013]

Newbies Nest

Hi all,Miley glad you cried ,does work aye,thanks for your comment on my post.hope today brings all of you happy and sober,no matter what the weather looks like.l work outside so l get wet,but at least l deal with it better ,Happy Tuesday all ,day72 today for me,my sis decided to join this site,so welcome salonpedrapp,enjoy this site as much as l do for support and good reading.

[gofig07]

Newbies Nest

Samstone;1518412 wrote: Morning all
been a pretty gloomy couple of days with a hell of a lot rain. Lots of drowned cicadas. Sun's out today though. The outlook is always hopeful.
I AM sober
SS

same here, went to go running and started raining. Yeah to being Sober ! For me Day 2 of cold turkey. I am hopeful too !

[struggles]

Newbies Nest

Good morning!

Wine, thank you for that advice! I did play that through and you are exactly right, I would go from host to guest to a mess and feeling like crap in the morning.

Hope everyone has a great AF day.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, Nesters! Happy Toosday!

Struggles, I have dinner parties and such with a good bit of frequency. My rule is bring whatever you want to drink if it isn't soda or tea. It works great, and I don't have to deal with it. People don't expect an open bar at a Father's Day party, (I never did, I took my own anyway!!!) If people care about drinking they will find a way to do it, therefore, bringing his/her own. I would wager that each of the folks you invite will ask 'what can I bring?' Just tell them to bring their drinks if it's other than soda or tea. Do not worry about hurting anyone's feelings. In this fight we must be selfish. You are very early in your sobriety, I wouldn't tempt fate too much by providing the booze. I don't care if it is a brand of beer you don't like, you'll find Dick Head telling you it doesn't matter. There at the end I drank peppermint schnapps because it was all I had!!! Set yourself up for success and you will have it. This is a day to celebrate Fathers....not a free for all booze fest! I have read time and time again this same scenario...make yourself bullet proof! Don't let a party derail you. In 3 weeks time, no one else will remember what you served, but you may still be trying to get BACK to DAY 1. Protect your quit like a pot of gold. If there's any way to move the party somewhere else, do it. Just my 2 cents.

LLL, and your name implies....Live and Learn! My dad remarried the love of his life at age 75....I think there is hope for you! Hang in there, pretty girl, today will be a better day. You'll never have 2 bad days in a row!

Have a great day, everyone!!! Go put the Tooooo in Toosday! XXOO, Byrdie

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't read posts for a day or two.

I took my mom to the hospital yesterday for a biopsy of the lump she recently discovered in her breast. There are actually two tumors. It still does not seem like this can be happening. But that's probably my brain's "shock absorber" giving me time to face reality. The biopsy results will be available in about four days.

Stay strong Nesters. Alcohol will not help to make anything better. In fact, alcohol takes a bad situation and makes it much worse.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Dang, Tess....4 agonizing days. It is still not time to worry....
All of our thoughts will be with you thru this wait. You couldn't be more right...AL makes a bad situation 1000 times worse. You know that....
Stay close. You need that clear head to make decisions and stay focused on the task at hand. There are other coping skills to draw on. Thinking of you and wishing you strength. Byrdie

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesties!

Tess - Sorry to hear about your mom, but Byrdie is right, try not to worry just yet...I know, easier said than done. I will be thinking of you both!

G-MAN!!! 30 DAYS...YOU ARE AWESOME!!! inkele:inkele:inkele: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! :h:h

Lav - Have a great day with your girls, and give the Stella(s) a big kiss for me!

Struggles - I have used the "fast forward" method many, many times. I imagine the events of the night unfolding, from that first sip of beer to stumbling to bed and passing out...and all the horrible stuff in between. Then of course there is the 3am anxiety wake-up call...if you can see alcohol for what it really is, and not the romanticized version, it's much easier to say NO to! Keep up your good work.

Day 4 of no smoking for me...AND waiting to be invited to an interview for another job. This time I am applying to work in the jail. This should be interesting! LOL

Everyone have a great sober Tuesday!

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1518428 wrote: Dang, Tess....4 agonizing days. It is still not time to worry....
All of our thoughts will be with you thru this wait. You couldn't be more right...AL makes a bad situation 1000 times worse. You know that....
Stay close. You need that clear head to make decisions and stay focused on the task at hand. There are other coping skills to draw on. Thinking of you and wishing you strength. Byrdie

Blessings to you, Byrdie, and to All fellow fledglings who are sending positive vibes. Thank you!!

We may get the biopsy results in three days. In the meantime, we received a call that an appointment has been scheduled with a surgeon for next Tuesday. Obviously, this is an indication that concerns of cancer loom large.

I remember, in the midst of my panic-stricken haze, Mom's family physician saying, "I am worried" (direct quote) the day that she found the lump and he examined her. I had gotten "on the horn" as soon as I saw the lump DEMANDING that my mother be examined that very day. The sweet receptionist had explained that the doctor did not have an appointment available for about two weeks. "Like hell," I said. "I am bringing my mother in NOW and she will be seen. I'm no expert, but I don't think we can wait two weeks." So, I took her in, smiled and was kind, but By Damn, the doctor was going to see my mother. Period.

You're right, Byrdie, this would be the worst possible time to be staggering about with alcohol in my brain, alcohol calling the shots.

Yes, I am emotional now, but I wonder if God (The Universe) got me sober in order to help my mom through this.

The coping skill that I am drawing on is the ability to cry. Tears are healing. Mom has not shed one tear. I don't think that she can let herself "go there" just yet. I don't cry in front of Mom or Dad (our family prides itself on being stoic) but I sob in the privacy of my closet, which used to be my alcohol hideout. Funny how life can change. Quickly.

I feel amazingly strong against alcohol. Grace. Pure Grace. I need to be present for my mom. And I am. Alcohol is just a sad memory. Completely gone. Good riddance!!

I was worried a few days ago that I might slip. As I said, others much stronger than me have slipped. But I don't think so now. I think I've moved on. Grown up.

Love to All Nesters. ~ :heart:

[Daily wine]

Newbies Nest

ok day 2! Feeling good today. Huge fight with hubby last night as he plowed thru 2 bottles of wine. Its sad how many bad things happen when Al is involved. I am going to stay busy tonight and stay strong. Hubby can do as he wishes.
DW

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Daily wine;1518518 wrote: ok day 2! Feeling good today. Huge fight with hubby last night as he plowed thru 2 bottles of wine. Its sad how many bad things happen when Al is involved. I am going to stay busy tonight and stay strong. Hubby can do as he wishes.
DW

No truer words. Add into the equation that he now feels threatened by your quitting. He's losing his drinking buddy, and is surely afraid that you will notice that he, too, is an ALK. All you can do is lead by example. Put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others. I am so happy for your day 2!!!

I tell you, I don't know of a perfect scenario of quitting. We have folks who live alone and quit and wish they had company. We have folks with non drinking partners who wish they had someone who understood. We have folks with ALK partners who wish they were alone! So whatever your situation, you can do it...but you have to take care of YOU, this time.
Wishing everyone a safe and cozy night in the nest! Strap in good! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1518550 wrote: No truer words. Add into the equation that he now feels threatened by your quitting. He's losing his drinking buddy, and is surely afraid that you will notice that he, too, is an ALK. All you can do is lead by example. Put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others. I am so happy for your day 2!!!

I tell you, I don't know of a perfect scenario of quitting. We have folks who live alone and quit and wish they had company. We have folks with non drinking partners who wish they had someone who understood. We have folks with ALK partners who wish they were alone! So whatever your situation, you can do it...but you have to take care of YOU, this time.
Wishing everyone a safe and cozy night in the nest! Strap in good! Byrdie

Hiya Nester's!

Spot on Byrdie. Hang in there D dubbya. You are heroic and a big shining star from here!

Thinking of you and your mum at this difficult time Tess.

Great work Struggles and Gofig. :goodjob:

Thanks Niner. :h

Take care y'all.

Day 31. Bring. it. on!

Yo!

[Snapdragon]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesties - well I have to confess that tonight after 70 or soish days (I've lost track) of sobriety, I deliberately blew it tonight to spite my arsehole husband!! I initially gave up drinking for him (because he said he loved me Sooo much, but not so much when I'd had a few!) Well - life has been amazing for us for the past few months (had holidays, big family parties and special time together) so imagine my shock when I 'inadvertently' got copied into an email he sent to a single 'lady' in our town arranging for him to meet up with her stating that 'if she called his number and he sounded a bit 'off' it was because he was in VERY suspicious company!

Sooo - I don't know where I'm heading at the moment. I feel like crap, I feel drunk and awful - and part of me wishes that I could curl up and die (but I don't mean that seriously). I'm just so mixed up and confused - but hey ho - I have a whole utility room of alcohol left over from his party to consume before I have to make a serious decision. SORRY to everyone on MWO for spoiling my dream

[Tess-2]

Newbies Nest

K9Lover;1518450 wrote: Hi Nesties!

Tess - Sorry to hear about your mom, but Byrdie is right, try not to worry just yet...I know, easier said than done. I will be thinking of you both!

G-MAN!!! 30 DAYS...YOU ARE AWESOME!!! inkele:inkele:inkele: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! :h:h

Lav - Have a great day with your girls, and give the Stella(s) a big kiss for me!

Struggles - I have used the "fast forward" method many, many times. I imagine the events of the night unfolding, from that first sip of beer to stumbling to bed and passing out...and all the horrible stuff in between. Then of course there is the 3am anxiety wake-up call...if you can see alcohol for what it really is, and not the romanticized version, it's much easier to say NO to! Keep up your good work.

Day 4 of no smoking for me...AND waiting to be invited to an interview for another job. This time I am applying to work in the jail. This should be interesting! LOL

Everyone have a great sober Tuesday!

Dear K9,

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I sincerely appreciate you!!

I love what you say about the "fast forward" method. I don't know that I've ever heard this described before. And yes, YIKES!!, the 3am anxiety. Ouch!! It hurts so very much!! Those of us who struggle with anxiety (and we are many) totally understand the severe pain of panic.

I hope you get your invitation to the interview. (Interviewing is so much fun... Blek!!) But seriously, it sounds like you really need and want a different job. Hey, working in a jail could be a good thing. I would be happy to work in a jail. I really would.

Take care. ~

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Snap, I cannot imagine your hurt and pain. But what I can imagine is that drinking AT your husband will not change a dam thing. I drank at people and ate at them and all I accomplished was being a fat drunk!
Please try and do anything else than make things worse. The betrayal you feel must seem insurmountable.....but AL MAKES EVERYTHING 1000 times worse! Please try and stay here with us or call a close friend or someone to help you. You cannot drink this away! Can you call someone??? And have them come over?